Feel like you’re banging your head against the wall trying to figure out why your child won’t eat anything or refuses to eat at all? There are real reasons and ways you can help picky eater kids. Learn how from a feeding expert and mom.
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As an occupational therapist, parents ask me all the time “Why does my child refuse to eat anything?”
It’s frustrating when you try to serve new foods, or worse, when you serve something they’ve eaten before like their beloved chicken nuggets or peanut butter crackers and they refuse to eat!
Most kids will do this occasionally, but some kids are refusing to eat on a regular basis.
What’s going on with kids that almost never seem to eat?
Or, will only eat if you feed them?
Or, the child that won’t eat and is losing weight?
As a parent, it’s scary, confusing, and stressful. You may wonder if you’re just dealing with a picky eater’s preferences that are like shifting sands.
It’s often much more than picky eating – more on that in a minute.
“My 2/3/4+ year old won’t eat anything” – Where to Start
To help kids that are refusing food, we have to start with figuring out WHY they aren’t eating, because consistent food refusal is not a typical part of development.
In fact, when a kid is repeatedly not eating with or without weight loss, it’s a BIG red flag that something more is going on.
It’s time to put on your detective hat and get to the root of the problem so that you have the tools to help your child eat more food, and avoid power struggles at family meals.
5 Reasons Why a Child Refuses to Eat Anything
The truth is that there are A LOT of reasons why kids refuse to eat food. In my experience, as a occupational therapist with a specialized feeding background, I believe that most can be organized into 5 different reasons.
However, we have to be clear that when a child is regularly refusing to eat very little of any food or has only a few favorite foods that they are willing to eat, they may qualify for a diagnosis of Pediatric Feeding Disorder (PFD), which was just added as a diagnosable code in October of 2021.
Another option is Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, however this is closely linked to anxiety. See more in number 5 below for more info!
This is a good thing because children that are struggling to eat have often been described as picky eaters, which isn’t an adequate definition and leaves kids not getting the help they need.
As you read through the list below, look for signs you’ve seen in your child as a possible explanation. It’s very possible that several of the the underlying difficulties below are present in a child that often won’t eat.
Keeping that in mind, let me explain in some more detail.
#1. Physical or Medical Issues
Although this may seem like the most obvious reason kids don’t eat, it is often the most overlooked, or isn’t explored thoroughly. When kids have a well documented medical condition or are visibly sick, it is obvious that their eating is affected.
But, sometimes there are more subtle signs that are incredibly easy to miss. Two of the biggest culprits are silent acid reflux and constipation. Both of these very common problems for kids can put a halt to eating.
Although acid reflux is common in babies, it can also have an impact on kids much older, even if they weren’t diagnosed as an infant.
Unfortunately, many times it’s because kids don’t complain that their stomach is hurting. Many of them don’t even realize it because they have felt that way for so long OR they are too young to put into words how they are feeling.
Read more about acid reflux in children and to find a few natural remedies.
My older son has struggled with constipation since he was about one year old. I have to carefully watch his fiber intake and when he starts to get a little backed up, his eating is greatly affected.
Every time he doesn’t eat well, I have to ask myself, “Does he need to go to the bathroom?” The answer is usually, yes! Managing your child’s constipation can be a huge game changer in helping them eat new foods.
Read more about severe constipation in children and natural remedies to fix it.
If your child’s refusal to eat is more of a phase, you may want to consider teething, not feeling well, or fatigue as possible reasons for not eating.
And sometimes, if your child is chronically sick or tired, then food refusal or picky eating may become a way of life for them.
I strongly encourage you to see a pediatric GI if your child has any physical symptoms, or if you’ve ruled out the other causes listed here because there could be other possible digestive difficulties. There are many other, although less common possibilities such as:
- Food allergies (3-5% of kids)
- Food sensitivities
- Eosinophilic esophagitis (EoE)
- Delayed stomach emptying
- Physical abnormalities in the throat, mouth, or gut
- Tongue, lip, or cheek ties
Some signs that your child may have any of the above medical issues are:
- Eating only small portions
- Difficulty swallowing dry or rough textures
- Dropping a food they used to like such as milk, yogurt, or eggs
- Only wanting liquids and not solid food
- Holding chewed food in their cheeks (pocketing food)
However, each of those signs can have multiple explanations! That’s why that detective hat is important!
It’s a good idea to discuss it further with your doc!
#2. Sensory Processing Causing Food Refusal
For many picky eaters, sensory processing plays a big role in their refusal to eat foods. Simply put, if something feels gross in their mouth or on their hands, they aren’t going to eat it.
The fancy therapeutic term we give for when a child doesn’t want to touch different textures is tactile defensive. And, when they don’t like certain textures in their mouth, or chew/bite/lick everything else but food, it is a sign that their oral sensory system needs some help.
Clues that your child may be refusing foods because of sensory input are: gagging, squirming, or seeming frightened by the sight, smell, touch, or taste of a particular food.
Often, the first signs appear when parents try to feed babies baby or table foods. Sometimes, these reactions start as the taste buds become more developed between 1-2 years old.
And, other times, older kids can develop texture and taste sensitivities that weren’t there when they were younger!
Extreme Sensitivity and Fear of Anything in or Near the Mouth: Oral Aversion
Oral aversion also fits into this category.
If your child has had medical testing, feeding tubes, severe vomiting, or a physical incident in or around their mouth/throat (even from a infancy), they may be scared to have anything come toward their mouth and be overly sensitive in the area.
On the other end of the sensory spectrum, a child may not be able to discriminate food in their mouth well and they will unsafely stuff a large amount of food into their cheeks like a chipmunk.
This helps give them some feedback as to where the food actually is. These kids lose track of the food easily and can’t chew it well. Soft foods that aren’t easily discriminated (think mashed potatoes, cheese, etc.) are usually refused because they can’t manipulate them well in their mouth.
Sensory is often the hidden link in picky eating and food refusal, and while a lot of parents haven’t heard of it before, it’s critical to address it so that your child can learn to eat a variety of nutritious foods at meal times with the rest of the family.
If you can understand why your child is refusing food from a sensory perspective, well, it changes everything. To understand the connection better, read sensory processing and picky eating.
What May Be Causing Chronic Poor Appetite: Interoception
While frequent snack times and drinking milk throughout the day can spoil a child’s appetite for the next meal, some kids never seem to feel hungry or understand what fullness is.
This is related to one of the hidden senses called interoception. Basically, a child with poor interoception isn’t recognizing signs from their stomach that it’s time to eat or to keep eating until they feel full.
It’s like they’re lost in transmission. The good news is there’s a way to improve this appetite awareness! Learn more in our interoception article.
3. Oral-Motor Skills
We take it for granted, but chewing is a coordinated skill just like walking, talking, and learning to read. It doesn’t come easy for all kids. Therapists call the ability to bite chew, and swallow, oral-motor skills.
Signs that your child may not be chewing well are:
- Choking/gagging after the food is already in their mouth for a few seconds/minutes
- Pocketing food (holding it in their mouth)
- Wants to eat soft or pureed foods
- Spitting out half chewed food
- Food falls out of mouth accidentally
- Can’t remove food or crumbs from lips or corners of mouth with their tongue or lips
- Throwing up food that looks like it has hardly been chewed
- History of difficulty breastfeeding
Often, these signs are apparent in young children because they have a hard time learning to eat table foods or even pureed foods. While kids with any of the underlying causes listed could have a difficult time with weight, kids with poor oral motor skills get tired and frustrated.
They give up on eating quickly and may not get on a growth curve.
Some kids will start refusing to eat foods because they don’t know how to chew it or they are scared they are going to gag/choke/throw up again on the food they literally don’t know how to eat.
This can continue into the teen years, although when left untreated, kids may figure out some workarounds.
But, it’s not uncommon for a 12 year old’s refusal to eat to be linked in some way to oral motor skills. Head over to Oral Motor Exercises to learn more about how to help your child improve their oral motor skills.
Sometimes, oral motor difficulties snowball to include sensory defensiveness too, because when a child hasn’t eaten any other textures in a really long time or ever, they become very sensitive to them.
These other textures may seem strange and even uncomfortable when they touch or feel them.
If your child never transitioned well to crunchy table foods, then you’ll want to check out How to Transition to Finger Foods
4. Routine, the Typical Picky Eating Phase, and the Snowball Effect
I strongly believe that structure and routine around food and meal time is critical to kids eating well.
Because for some kids with average picky eating, changes to the meal time routine can help your child reduce “junk food”, come to the dinner table easily, and eat more of what we often consider “healthy” meals.
There are some kids that will manage to eat well with a lack of routine, but by and large, most kids’ eating habits will suffer greatly without a regular routine.
Without a routine, kids can slide into eating a separate meal away from the rest of the family and may not eat much food when they eat alone.
If you don’t have regular meal times, pay attention to how frequently your child is eating. Do you eat in front of the TV often, and/or mostly let your kids pick what they want to eat?
If they don’t have a wide variety of foods, only want snack foods, or aren’t willing to try foods, lack of routine may be the reason for it… or at least part of it.
I commonly see this compounded on top of one of the other 4 reasons kids don’t eat. When there is a problem with eating, we get overwhelmed and start grasping at straws just to get them to eat.
This is another way the bad habits can begin and then play a role in food refusal.
That’s not to say that you’re to blame, I mean our kids have to eat, right? And, we do the best we can with what we know. Don’t feel guilty about choices you’ve made in desperate situations.
I promise you that even with the pickiest eaters, there is a way out of eating in front of an iPad or them having their own separate meals. It is one step at a time and I’ll show you how in my tips below.
Although many kids that rely on a screen to eat often get to that point because eating is difficult because of oral motor, sensory, or medical issues.
The Typical Picky Eating Phase
One other common factor is that some children start off as good eaters, and then between 1-2 years of age, eating starts to go awry. Annoying, upsetting.. yes!
Like it or not though, it is NORMAL for toddlers to go through a picky eating stage as their taste buds mature and they begin to want to exert some control into their lives. Parents, sometimes, get scared when their child that had healthy eating habits is now not eating as well, and will begin to throw routine and structure out the window.
The Snowball Effect
With parents just wanting their kids to eat anything or at least some healthy snacks, short order cooking is ushered in, among numerous and otherwise well-meaning, but sabotaging techniques, and parents are left with a bona fide picky eater months or years later.
Although the intention was in the right place, the lack of routine can lead to long term eating refusal and difficulties.
I call it the snowball effect because the eating difficulties started off small and grew with momentum over time, just like a snowball rolling down a big hill!
To make sure you have a solid routine, grab our free Picky Eating Essentials printable, it includes 9 important steps to improve eating and 25+ food ideas for picky eaters.
5. Anxiety
Most parents I talk to with kids over 5 think that anxiety is the main factor for kids that refuse to eat, and it is often a component. Kids that have a hard time chewing, get stomach aches or worse when eating, or can’t stand the texture of so many foods are scared to put new or different foods in their mouth.
Eating has often not been enjoyable and filled with negative experiences, so yes they are scared. They are anxious.
But, I don’t consider anxiety the main underlying cause unless it goes into clinical psychological anxiety. In which case, kids will often make the following types of statements:
- I’m scared to eat the spaghetti I might choke
- I really want to eat that, but it might be contaminated with germs
- What if there’s poison in the pizza? I just can’t eat it
With clinical food related anxiety, kids often become irrational. And, they often have clinical anxiety in other areas of their life.
This is different than a child saying, “I’m scared that food is going to feel slimy like the avocado”. That is a sensory based fear and is treated differently.
If a child has clinical anxiety and NO OTHER underlying causes that have impacted their eating and are typically over 5 years old, they may qualify for an Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder diagnosis (ARFID), however I see this diagnosis frequently mis-diagnosed when PFD is more appropriate.
If you aren’t sure, get a few opinions and please feel free to leave us a comment below, we answer every one!
What if My Child is Refusing to Eat Because They’re Being Bad?
A lot of people advise parents that kids are being “bad” or that the reason they are refusing to eat is behavior-based. Although behavior plays a role, it is actually a small percentage of kids that actually refuse to eat based solely on behavior.
In fact, with the hundreds of families I’ve treated and the thousands I’ve taught in our online picky programs, I’ve never seen one kid’s picky eating that can be solely explained by behavior.
Now, please don’t mistake me, even the youngest of tykes will learn quickly what they need to say or cry or throw to get what food they want.
All kids go through different stages of development when they are testing boundaries and you can bet they will test it at meal times, too. After all, this is one of the few areas where they actually have some control. But, these kinds of little phases are short lived and aren’t severe.
For kids that have a history of being picky eaters, behavior is a piece of the puzzle, but typically, it has evolved from one of the legitimate reasons listed above.
And, when you address the underlying cause, the behaviors around meals decrease!
What to Do When Your Child Won’t Eat
If you can’ tell yet, here at Your Kid’s Table, picky eating is our thing. We have a lot of resources for parents and therapists working with picky kids.
No matter what combination of reasons are causing your child to be a picky eater, you’ll want to start with not pressuring them during meals while putting a consistent routine in place for them like having regularly scheduled meals with no snacking in between to help them start eating.
Then, focus on specifically addressing the underlying cause, whether that is sensory processing, medical, or oral motor skills.
Once you have a solid routine (grab this free printable to help develop one) and are addressing the underlying cause, you can also use some of my favorite picky eating tips. I love to use dips (even if you think your child hates them, I show you how), fun tools like toothpicks (trust me) and divided plates.
Plus, there are lots of novel ideas like making food fun, and I’m not talking about elaborate food scenes that you spend an hour cutting out.
And, my favorite tip that can make a huge difference is cooking with your kids! I know everyone says that and parents think, “Not my kid”. But, hear me out. I show you how to do it, tell you why it’s important, and give you these recipes designed for picky eaters:
- Pumpkin waffles (added nutrition)
- Bruschetta bar (this seriously is the best dinner for ANY picky eater that likes bread)
- High calorie smoothie
- Homemade chicken nuggets your kid will eat! (my special recipe)
- Not-spicy homemade tacos (check out the very motivating taco truck that can come to the table!)
- Banana sweet potato bread
- Roasted Cauliflower (2 of my kids tried cauliflower for the first time with this recipe)
- Crispy Potato Skins (basic recipe that’s perfect for picky eaters, got one of my kids to eat potatoes with this recipe)
For even more food ideas, head over to healthy snacks for picky eaters and healthy recipes for picky eaters (you’ll find a free printable too!)
If you’ve tried a lot of these tips before and want to dig a little deeper (only use these after you have a routine and positive environment), then you can move on to my heavy hitting picky eating tips. These require a little more thought, but can have a huge impact.
Read about how to get your child to explore new foods and build on what they are already eating with food chaining.
Lastly, to save your sanity, find out how to have just one family meal, even with a picky eater (you can do it!) and how to keep mealtimes positive, even when that seems impossible.
I know you may be tempted to feel overwhelmed at this point, but resist! This page is here (pin it so you can come back). Remember, one step at a time!
Getting More Help for the Child that Refuses to Eat Anything
Having a picky eater, let alone an extreme picky eater or child with PFD, can be extremely overwhelming and paralyzing. I’ve experienced it myself and the worry can take over your life. But, there are a few ways to get help from a professional:
- I highly recommend learning proven strategies that you can use everyday to start improving your child’s eating, this is possible no matter how picky they are! There’s so much bad advice out there, but in my free workshop I teach you exactly what 3 strategies to start working on now. That could make a difference, today. It’s totally free and you can grab a spot in here!
- Learn more about feeding therapy for picky eaters, and if it would be a good fit for your child. However, feeding therapy is often just once a week, which is why it’s important to have those strategies you can use at home.
You might need the tips and link shared here again. Save it to Pinterest here!
More Articles for the Child that Refuses to Eat Anything
8 Tips to Keep Your Child Seated at the Table
Fun Plates, Forks, and Other Cool Stuff that Get Kids to Eat
8 Things You Can Do When a Toddler Refuses to Eat
Are Food Jags Affecting Your Picky Eater? What you need to know…
Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 19 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
Dear Alisa,
My 7 years old daughter wont eat!
This has been going since April when the COVID lockdown took place and she stopped going to school.
In the house, when food time approach, she starts complaining of stomachache and refuses to eat anything, even the meals we use to prepare to her in school. At first we thought that this is because she is messing her classmates (she really loved her time at school) so we tried not to be strict about her food time or habit and decided to go easy on her. we started eating according to the time that she does at school and my wife prepared the same meals she eat at school.this includes preparing her favourites and art-design her dishes to look like her favourite cartoon character. Despite that, there was no improvement. Sometimes she can stay for the whole day without eating a single bite and we tried to be strict about her meals but again with no results.
In late April, we took her to the doctor who ran various tests. she lost some weight and she had a slight iron deficiency. but even so and with the medications, her appetite did not improve and she barely eats.
any advice you can give us would be very much appreciate it. we are really struggling here.
thank you very much
Ben
Hey Ben,
So sorry you are dealing with this, we know how hard it can be! I’d try to be open and have a conversation with her on her eating and other feelings she may have. It is a hard time to adjust for everyone! I’d also try removing pressure from mealtimes, this can be hard, but can be extremely helpful. We have a free workshop that walks you through how to do this and some other steps to take you can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
hello,
I have been on a long journey with my 8 year olds eating. I guess as a toddler you would of labeled her as a picky eater. She had her tonsils/adenoids out in kindergarten. By first grade I knew we were facing some big issues as she would go weeks without wanting to eat, mainly just soft foods and breads . I have continued taking her to doctors trying to figure out how to help her. Now she has just finished 2nd grade. Recently we have been to a GI, speech and will see a OT and counselor soon. She complains of “gunk” in her mouth and says it is sticky and happens when she eats. Currently she is only eating soft foods with smooth textures. Yogurt,pudding, jello, poached egg yellow only. This last year has been difficult for her. Her dad and I separated in Oct. we lost a beloved cat. Then the closing of school has made our schedules uncertain. I want to support her the best I can. Yet her dad wasn’t getting her regularly and only recently has started to see how difficult her eating is. Having her pinky promise him she’ll eat and saying if she doesn’t eat the fast foods he gets her then that’s it. This has created some anxiety as well for her. The Speech therapist we seen says she thinks a lot of it may be anxiety related . She is fearful to try some foods and is doing little licks vs. putting spoon into mouth. Any help or advice is much appreciated.
Hey Candice,
So sorry for all of what you are going though. Sounds like you are really trying to get her on the right path! Anxiety can be very intertwined with feeding difficulties and we see that a lot. I would first be trying to remove pressure off of her during meals, this can be really helpful in moving forward and building that relationship with food. We do have a free workshop that walks you through this and more. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Ben, my daughter is doing the same. It has been gradual. I believe it’s down to not having enough social interactions with her classmates. How can we… and if schools don’t open in September I don’t know what I will do. 😭
Hey Lucie,
We totally understand, it’s such a difficult time for everyone! I’d try to make things as comfortable for her at mealtimes at home as you can! Making sure to remove all pressure from mealtimes as possible. You can learn more about how to do that as well as some other strategies in our free picky eating workshop! Save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
This is exactly same going on with my 10 year old , literally exact same , Igot some those pedia shakes drank one and that was it very concerning and nerve wrecking
We know how hard it can be! Take one step at a time to work on the eating 🙂
Best,
Desiree
I’m really happy to have found your website. And even though you have a ton of resources, I’m still hoping you can offer advice. My son is 14 months old and will not eat any vegetables, regardless of how they are prepared. If they are soft cooked, he just spits them out, or throws them on the floor. If it’s on a spoon he turns his head away. He won’t feed them to himself. He likes 4 kinds of fruit: banana, oranges, soft cooked apples, and pear. He will feed himself things like toast, cheese, scrambled eggs and the above fruit. But won’t eat rice or pasta unless cooked really soft and mashed into sauce. He also doesn’t really like meat. I think it’s a texture thing. (My own mother says I didn’t like meat until I was three.) He loves breakfast, which is usually porridge with fruit mixed in and yogurt and milk. He also likes eating bites of our breakfast: toast, bran flakes. And we let him because we feel, if he wants to try what we’re eating, great! He usually eats a lunch of tuna, or sandwich with meat, cheese and avocado, fruit and milk. I’ve tried offering him veggies at lunch and dinner and he refuses. He also always refuses dinner. We offer what we are eating and he gets upset and just throws the food. The problem we have now is, he doesn’t like us feeding him with a spoon or fork. Which makes it difficult to give things like lasagna, soup, risotto. As a result, we’ve tried teaching him to feed himself and he’s very resistant with his arm. So have tried the food on his tray. Sometimes he touches it, but mostly throws it on the floor. Part of the reason we’ve also tried just putting it on his tray is to let him explore and touch and hopefully move it to his mouth. He won’t do this. The other concern, which has started just recently – if I was cooking dinner or making food, he’d come over and try some off of a fork or spoon I would hold out to him. Now if I get down to his level and offer him something he runs away. I never felt I was forcing him and we don’t follow him, but to me it seemed like he was put-off/scared? I don’t know which of your red flags might be him or how to help him. I know he’s young, and that toddlers wax and wane in how much they eat, but I’d like to work on this earlier rather than later. I don’t expect him to like everything given, but my goals are:
1.) He will at least try the food
2.) Feed himself if he doesn’t want us to feed him.
I know not all toddlers are capable of using a spoon or fork at 14 months and it’s a learned skill that can take time. But if he won’t feed himself messier foods with his hands, what can we do? We’ve even tried sensory bowls of food for him to explore and play with on the floor.
If this persists over the next month or so, I do want to get an evaluation. I just worry with covid-19, therapy or treatment won’t be as easily accessible for awhile. Can you make recommendations?
Thank you!
Hey Rachael,
Thanks for reaching out to us! Sounds like you are doing some great things in making sure not to force him. It does sound like part of it could be sensory related if he’s not really touching or exploring the foods. I’d make sure you are doing some food play (even outside of meal times) so that he is able to touch and explore foods and model for him just touching and playing with these foods. If he’s having difficulties with textures, this is where you can continue to work on so that he feels comfortable touching them when in the high chair. I do think it sounds like you were doing great with teaching him how to feed himself. But here is an article on it, in case you missed it! Read about it HERE
Best,
Desiree
Have you tried vegetable pouches?
I know when we were feeding our dog too much she didn’t want to eat anything. It was just too many calories. And I think kids like hot food. They don’t like cold food. They like starches not meat.
Hello, thank you for your blog. My son was a picky eater from the start. he never ate mashed potatoes, hates yoghurt, anything which is soft. Luckily he eats soups and steaks with pasta (no sauce!!). Because he does not eat enough fresh veggies and fruit he gets constipation. then he gets a psychogenic constipation because of the bad experience at the potty. I can only eat him with some screen in front. Otherwise he would chew 2-3 times and he would leave. He never has the patience to stay and eat at the table. With the screen I can feed him with some soup, but without screen he would only eat rice or pasta. So I keep the habit in order to feed him some healthy food which does not constipate him. Not know what to do more.
Hey Ioana,
If you haven’t yet, I’d recommend taking our free picky eating workshop, you will learn tips on how to work on the picky eating and how to set up mealtimes. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hello! (Not sure if you’ll get this, but we are desperate!) My sensory issue boy, 6 years old, won’t eat while others are at the table. He focuses on on them chewing, and it grosses him out to the point where he gags, and has to eat alone. Any tips here??
Hey Molly,
Sounds like you have done a great job at identifying what he is having difficulties with sensory wise! I’d try to see if you can slowly desensitize this, if it is sound based trying headphones. If it is all visual work on him sitting with others or just 1 person eating something simple like crackers and making sure mouth is closed while chewing and move from there! If you are looking to understand his sensory differences more, we do have a free sensory workshop that can help you can save your seat HERE
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Hi my 4yr old boy has always had trouble with texture. Everything still has to be pretty much mashed for him. But for the last year he won’t eat hardly anything. I don’t want him losing weight he only weighs 16kgs but he is tall. He has been diagnosed with autism.
I’m so sorry Amanda! Have you seen the free picky eating workshop, that would be a great place to start, as well as considering feeding therapy:)
Hi my name is Tiffany and I have a 4 year-old nephew who refuses to eat anything other than certain dry cereals without milk, certain yogurt, candy (of coarse), and only Mcdonald’s french fries.
He says ‘real food’ is gross and the smell of it makes him sick.
My family has tried everything to get him to eat other things. He drinks chocolate nutrition drinks, chocolate milk and juice.
Any advice on what we can do to get him to try other foods?
I would recommend getting started with my free picky eating workshop: 3 Keys to Finally Turning Your Picky Eater Around. The workshop gives you my 3 steps that I feel are the foundation for getting picky eating headed in the right direction. I think it would be very helpful for you and would be the first steps you need to take. You can sign up for the workshop here.
Hi,
My son is a little over 3 years old & isn’t so much a picky eater, as he is just not wanting to eat period. He has always been like this. The doctors have him on lots of high calorie Pediasure & actually just up’d his script to Pediasure 1.5 (with fiber for constipation issues). Regular Pediasure is 240 calories & the 1.5 is 350. They want him on 2 per day. This isn’t the problem…he loves his “milk”. If he had it his way this is all he would take in. A miscommunication between GI, the dietician & his pediatrician, to much milk & not enough food is what caused the constipation issues.
So I hold the milk until after he eats, but he will take just 2 bites of dinner & say he’s full.
I should tell you that he was a small baby of 5.13, but was full term. He was exclusively breast fed from birth & didn’t have any milk intake issues until his hospital stay. He was born with TOF & had OHS at 7 weeks old. Followed by cardiac arrest 4 days later. Ever since he was in the CVICU, they (docs, nurses & OT) would force a much larger amount of formula in him, than I knew he could handle. This was a constant battle with them for 30 days. He would barf it up all day every day. They would change his formula brand, ignoring my pleas of “your giving him too much”. I know “they know best”, but so do I as his mother. Ever since the surgery, he doesn’t like to eat. But this feels more like a “no appetite at all” issue, rather than just being a picky eater. Other than he always wants his pediasure.
His vocal cords were slightly damaged from the prolonged breathing tube, so he came home with an NG tube. This was in from day 1 of surgery until after he was home, so about 2 1/2 months.
I have tried the threats, the bargains, rewards, etc., which actually do work but only some of the time. It’s just so exhausting have this same fight with him all day every day, since he started eating solids. I have doctors to report to & face at his check ups, to which he is doing very well considering his hard start in life. We don’t have any feeding therapists close to us, the closest is 3 hours away & I’ve been told that sessions can be up to 3 times a week.
He has no other health issues & is smart as a whip.
He is 3 yrs & 3 months old & just barely weighs 27lbs. I can’t find pants that will fit him & he is still wearing 18 months pants that are too short! He has no problem growing tall, just not wider, lol.
He just now finally joined the 3 percentile group.
Any & all advice is welcome!
Oh my gosh, you’ve had a quite a journey already and I know it’s so difficult! I believe in having a plan, and I teach the most important steps of that in a free workshop. You’ll also learn about a complete picky eating program I have that pulls all the strategies I have together so you know how to help your child. The workshop will give you a great start though. If you have questions afterwards let me know!
Why just offer your workshop? Give some good sound advice in the comments please.
Hi Melissa,
Thanks for reaching out! We suggest our workshop because it’s gives a lot of hands on useful suggestions. It allows us to help the most families possible! If you have a specific questions about your kiddo let us know and we’d love to point you in the right direction of one of our resources!
Best,
Andrea
Hi Alisha,
My neafly 13 month old has been giving me quite a time with self feeding. She simply will not put anything in her mouth herself, be it toys or food. If i give her give her a bite of a biscuit and put it in her hand, she will either refuse to hold it because she wants me to feed her. Or she’ll just play with it in her hands.
She was generally slow to adapt to solids and took her sweet time. Not a picky eater as such, but eats very little before she’s done.
She had a pincer grip and her fine motor skills are fine. What could be wrong?
Some kids will do this, sometimes they’re sensitive to touching the food, they don’t like the way it feels or aren’t sure what to do with it. I have a post that’s just what you need, you can check out How to Teach Your Child to Self Feed
Hi. I’m having trouble with both of my kids. My oldest won’t eat anything for lunch. We have done all sorts of things to make it fun, we’ve let her choose what she wants to eat. We make it and then she just looks at it and says I don’t like that. The only form of calories she wants are goldfish crackers. She holds out as long as she can to get those goldfish crackers. She used to eat everything. It was never a problem until one morning she decided I’m not going to eat. For dinner we eat as a family. She likes to help cook. She won’t eat any of it. She won’t eat anything!! We’ve even given in and tried making her whatever she asked for. We make it and she still doesn’t eat it. It drives is nuts. We spoke to our pediatrician and she said it’s just a phase and she’ll eat when she’s hungry. Problem is she eats a handful of Cheerios for breakfast, maybe a pancake if she’s feeling like it and whatever she decides to graze on during the day. She goes to bed hungry as she usually does then lays there for an hour or so and then says dad dad hey Dad I’m hungry. She comes downstairs and eat the leftover dinner that she just got through saying she didn’t like. I thought that it could be that we eat too early for her so we made dinner later. That just caused her to be overly tired and a whiny mess. I’m at wits end.
Oh it can be sooo frustrating! The good new is that I think a couple of key strategies can make a huge difference for you. I’ve got two resources for you to check out. One is my free workshop – I think this will help the most, strategy #1 is really important. It will go against traditional advice, but it works. It’s a big mental shift though. You can get a spot here.
The other resource is this post on my best picky eating strategy, it’s a two parter, so look for the second part as well. Take a look at those, it’s definitely where I would start:)
Hi my cousin is 3 years old don’t eat unless noodles, chicken, spaghetti and he doesn’t eat rise ..pleas help …
We know it can be such a challenge to watch our family members refuse different foods! We have have a free course that might be a great starting point to give you more ideas on how to help your little cousin. You can save your seat HERE. We hope that helps!
Best,
Andrea
Hi Alisha,
Thank you for sharing. This is the article i was looking for. My 2 year olds son is very picky eaters. I spent time preparing, cooking and serving a meal and he turn his nose up it and push his plate a way. I feel very stress.
I will try cooking the dishes that you have suggested in this post.
Hope he will like it.
Thank you! I hope he does too! Also, if you haven’t already, check out my free workshop on the 3 Keys to Turning Picky Eating Around. I think the tips in there could really help you out. You can sign up here.
I have a 2 year old well 3 next mo. She will cry and hold her tummy say she is so hungry. But when you set her down with what she has ask for. She takes one or two bites and says I am full I done. she is underweight under her eyes are turning dark. We have spells where she wakes crying in a heated sweat and throws up, or she has diarrhea most of the day. This goes on 2 or 3 days then she is ok for a couple days. Then here we go with constipation. We keep taking her to the Dr to hear she has a virus. I am so sick of that word I know something is wrong. They put her on pediasure she started gaining by my request. But now she is getting taller still very thin. Now she is refusing liquid also. What should I do1/ Desperate please help anyone.
Hey Amanda,
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this and seem to be getting no help from the doctor. I do think you are on the right track with maybe there is more of an underlying medical cause. Have to tried to see if she can get in with a GI doctor for them to check her out. Also as far as constipation here is an Article that helps with foods and other tips.
Best,
Desiree
Hi,
I work in care and we experience lots of kids who find it difficult to eat new foods or seem “picky.” This article is very interesting in explaining how their oral-motor skills, sensory and behaviours may play a part in this. Do you have any advice on being able to introduce new foods to older children?
Thanks
Sure, a lot of the same strategies apply, they just need tweaked a little. I’d focus on family style serving of food, if you can. Let them know they don’t have to eat it, but they need to take it on their plate, this is a great first step. They can take as little as they want. Cooking together is also great!
They enjoy the process of cooking, but have no interest in the actual product (unless it’s cupcakes), even if they see that it is filled with all ingredients that they like.
That can be the case sometimes. It’s certainly just one of many strategies. I’d try picking some recipes they may be more inclined to eat. Also, any touching or smelling of the food they do is a great opportunity. I’d focus on keeping the activity positive and enjoying time together.
My kid is 6 years old and he is a very picky eater since 2 years old. He’s still drink formula milk and won’t eat real meal. Even Happy Meal won’t spark him an interest except the toys they provided within. What should I do?
I know that can be very frustrating! In my free workshop, I give you my best 3 tips to get you started.
Hi I am struggling with my 4 year old. I believe her eating problems are purely behavioral but have been combating it for 2 years now with little improvement. She will eat foods she likes: hot dog, pizza, Mac and cheese, fruit, or crackers no problem but anything else is a battle. We have tried every method possible and she does not care. She would rather be hungry and complain than eat something new. Right now she is being sent straight to bed after dinner but it hasn’t deterred her issue at all. I’m not much of an accommodater. I believe they need to learn to eat real food and be sitting with the family at meal times. Everyone will finish but she will be sitting there still barley touching her food. It causes a power struggle that we are so exhausted with. Any advice?
Hi Jackie, I totally understand where you’re coming from and respect it. I do use a different approach, I wouldn’t call it accommodating, but would say that it is about boundaries. It is based on Ellyn Satter’s research. If you’d like to learn more I teach my 3 core principles in this workshop: yourkidstable.com/free
Hey Alisha, my 4 year old sister only eats mash potato, spaghetti and chicken nuggets from McDonald’s as meals. She snacks on honey sandwiches, homemade jam sandwiches, Nutella sandwiches, twist bars, most fruits and anything sweet like biscuits, ice cream, chocolate etc. she was a great eater for the first year and a half of life, but it has been bad for far too long now. Tonight we had stir fry for dinner. She smelt it, said it smelt good. Licked it, said it tasted good. Then she ate a pea out of it whilst crying and making weird noises even though she said it tasted good AND she always eats peas when she eats Spaghetti. So there should’ve been no issue… I don’t understand and I don’t know how to help her or what our next steps should be. We eat at the table, we encourage her to smell, lick new foods. I don’t know what to do now. Please help
The picky eating thing can be really confusing! I would recommend reading my articles on The Best Strategy for Picky Eating and 5 Reasons Kids Refuse to Eat. I think that will be a big help!