Feel like you’re banging your head against the wall trying to figure out why your child won’t eat anything or refuses to eat at all? There are real reasons and ways you can help picky eater kids. Learn how from a feeding expert and mom.
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As an occupational therapist, parents ask me all the time “Why does my child refuse to eat anything?”
It’s frustrating when you try to serve new foods, or worse, when you serve something they’ve eaten before like their beloved chicken nuggets or peanut butter crackers and they refuse to eat!
Most kids will do this occasionally, but some kids are refusing to eat on a regular basis.
What’s going on with kids that almost never seem to eat?
Or, will only eat if you feed them?
Or, the child that won’t eat and is losing weight?
As a parent, it’s scary, confusing, and stressful. You may wonder if you’re just dealing with a picky eater’s preferences that are like shifting sands.
It’s often much more than picky eating – more on that in a minute.
“My 2/3/4+ year old won’t eat anything” – Where to Start
To help kids that are refusing food, we have to start with figuring out WHY they aren’t eating, because consistent food refusal is not a typical part of development.
In fact, when a kid is repeatedly not eating with or without weight loss, it’s a BIG red flag that something more is going on.
It’s time to put on your detective hat and get to the root of the problem so that you have the tools to help your child eat more food, and avoid power struggles at family meals.
5 Reasons Why a Child Refuses to Eat Anything
The truth is that there are A LOT of reasons why kids refuse to eat food. In my experience, as a occupational therapist with a specialized feeding background, I believe that most can be organized into 5 different reasons.
However, we have to be clear that when a child is regularly refusing to eat very little of any food or has only a few favorite foods that they are willing to eat, they may qualify for a diagnosis of Pediatric Feeding Disorder (PFD), which was just added as a diagnosable code in October of 2021.
Another option is Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, however this is closely linked to anxiety. See more in number 5 below for more info!
This is a good thing because children that are struggling to eat have often been described as picky eaters, which isn’t an adequate definition and leaves kids not getting the help they need.
As you read through the list below, look for signs you’ve seen in your child as a possible explanation. It’s very possible that several of the the underlying difficulties below are present in a child that often won’t eat.
Keeping that in mind, let me explain in some more detail.
#1. Physical or Medical Issues
Although this may seem like the most obvious reason kids don’t eat, it is often the most overlooked, or isn’t explored thoroughly. When kids have a well documented medical condition or are visibly sick, it is obvious that their eating is affected.
But, sometimes there are more subtle signs that are incredibly easy to miss. Two of the biggest culprits are silent acid reflux and constipation. Both of these very common problems for kids can put a halt to eating.
Although acid reflux is common in babies, it can also have an impact on kids much older, even if they weren’t diagnosed as an infant.
Unfortunately, many times it’s because kids don’t complain that their stomach is hurting. Many of them don’t even realize it because they have felt that way for so long OR they are too young to put into words how they are feeling.
Read more about acid reflux in children and to find a few natural remedies.
My older son has struggled with constipation since he was about one year old. I have to carefully watch his fiber intake and when he starts to get a little backed up, his eating is greatly affected.
Every time he doesn’t eat well, I have to ask myself, “Does he need to go to the bathroom?” The answer is usually, yes! Managing your child’s constipation can be a huge game changer in helping them eat new foods.
Read more about severe constipation in children and natural remedies to fix it.
If your child’s refusal to eat is more of a phase, you may want to consider teething, not feeling well, or fatigue as possible reasons for not eating.
And sometimes, if your child is chronically sick or tired, then food refusal or picky eating may become a way of life for them.
I strongly encourage you to see a pediatric GI if your child has any physical symptoms, or if you’ve ruled out the other causes listed here because there could be other possible digestive difficulties. There are many other, although less common possibilities such as:
- Food allergies (3-5% of kids)
- Food sensitivities
- Eosinophilic esophagitis (EoE)
- Delayed stomach emptying
- Physical abnormalities in the throat, mouth, or gut
- Tongue, lip, or cheek ties
Some signs that your child may have any of the above medical issues are:
- Eating only small portions
- Difficulty swallowing dry or rough textures
- Dropping a food they used to like such as milk, yogurt, or eggs
- Only wanting liquids and not solid food
- Holding chewed food in their cheeks (pocketing food)
However, each of those signs can have multiple explanations! That’s why that detective hat is important!
It’s a good idea to discuss it further with your doc!
#2. Sensory Processing Causing Food Refusal
For many picky eaters, sensory processing plays a big role in their refusal to eat foods. Simply put, if something feels gross in their mouth or on their hands, they aren’t going to eat it.
The fancy therapeutic term we give for when a child doesn’t want to touch different textures is tactile defensive. And, when they don’t like certain textures in their mouth, or chew/bite/lick everything else but food, it is a sign that their oral sensory system needs some help.
Clues that your child may be refusing foods because of sensory input are: gagging, squirming, or seeming frightened by the sight, smell, touch, or taste of a particular food.
Often, the first signs appear when parents try to feed babies baby or table foods. Sometimes, these reactions start as the taste buds become more developed between 1-2 years old.
And, other times, older kids can develop texture and taste sensitivities that weren’t there when they were younger!
Extreme Sensitivity and Fear of Anything in or Near the Mouth: Oral Aversion
Oral aversion also fits into this category.
If your child has had medical testing, feeding tubes, severe vomiting, or a physical incident in or around their mouth/throat (even from a infancy), they may be scared to have anything come toward their mouth and be overly sensitive in the area.
On the other end of the sensory spectrum, a child may not be able to discriminate food in their mouth well and they will unsafely stuff a large amount of food into their cheeks like a chipmunk.
This helps give them some feedback as to where the food actually is. These kids lose track of the food easily and can’t chew it well. Soft foods that aren’t easily discriminated (think mashed potatoes, cheese, etc.) are usually refused because they can’t manipulate them well in their mouth.
Sensory is often the hidden link in picky eating and food refusal, and while a lot of parents haven’t heard of it before, it’s critical to address it so that your child can learn to eat a variety of nutritious foods at meal times with the rest of the family.
If you can understand why your child is refusing food from a sensory perspective, well, it changes everything. To understand the connection better, read sensory processing and picky eating.
What May Be Causing Chronic Poor Appetite: Interoception
While frequent snack times and drinking milk throughout the day can spoil a child’s appetite for the next meal, some kids never seem to feel hungry or understand what fullness is.
This is related to one of the hidden senses called interoception. Basically, a child with poor interoception isn’t recognizing signs from their stomach that it’s time to eat or to keep eating until they feel full.
It’s like they’re lost in transmission. The good news is there’s a way to improve this appetite awareness! Learn more in our interoception article.
3. Oral-Motor Skills
We take it for granted, but chewing is a coordinated skill just like walking, talking, and learning to read. It doesn’t come easy for all kids. Therapists call the ability to bite chew, and swallow, oral-motor skills.
Signs that your child may not be chewing well are:
- Choking/gagging after the food is already in their mouth for a few seconds/minutes
- Pocketing food (holding it in their mouth)
- Wants to eat soft or pureed foods
- Spitting out half chewed food
- Food falls out of mouth accidentally
- Can’t remove food or crumbs from lips or corners of mouth with their tongue or lips
- Throwing up food that looks like it has hardly been chewed
- History of difficulty breastfeeding
Often, these signs are apparent in young children because they have a hard time learning to eat table foods or even pureed foods. While kids with any of the underlying causes listed could have a difficult time with weight, kids with poor oral motor skills get tired and frustrated.
They give up on eating quickly and may not get on a growth curve.
Some kids will start refusing to eat foods because they don’t know how to chew it or they are scared they are going to gag/choke/throw up again on the food they literally don’t know how to eat.
This can continue into the teen years, although when left untreated, kids may figure out some workarounds.
But, it’s not uncommon for a 12 year old’s refusal to eat to be linked in some way to oral motor skills. Head over to Oral Motor Exercises to learn more about how to help your child improve their oral motor skills.
Sometimes, oral motor difficulties snowball to include sensory defensiveness too, because when a child hasn’t eaten any other textures in a really long time or ever, they become very sensitive to them.
These other textures may seem strange and even uncomfortable when they touch or feel them.
If your child never transitioned well to crunchy table foods, then you’ll want to check out How to Transition to Finger Foods
4. Routine, the Typical Picky Eating Phase, and the Snowball Effect
I strongly believe that structure and routine around food and meal time is critical to kids eating well.
Because for some kids with average picky eating, changes to the meal time routine can help your child reduce “junk food”, come to the dinner table easily, and eat more of what we often consider “healthy” meals.
There are some kids that will manage to eat well with a lack of routine, but by and large, most kids’ eating habits will suffer greatly without a regular routine.
Without a routine, kids can slide into eating a separate meal away from the rest of the family and may not eat much food when they eat alone.
If you don’t have regular meal times, pay attention to how frequently your child is eating. Do you eat in front of the TV often, and/or mostly let your kids pick what they want to eat?
If they don’t have a wide variety of foods, only want snack foods, or aren’t willing to try foods, lack of routine may be the reason for it… or at least part of it.
I commonly see this compounded on top of one of the other 4 reasons kids don’t eat. When there is a problem with eating, we get overwhelmed and start grasping at straws just to get them to eat.
This is another way the bad habits can begin and then play a role in food refusal.
That’s not to say that you’re to blame, I mean our kids have to eat, right? And, we do the best we can with what we know. Don’t feel guilty about choices you’ve made in desperate situations.
I promise you that even with the pickiest eaters, there is a way out of eating in front of an iPad or them having their own separate meals. It is one step at a time and I’ll show you how in my tips below.
Although many kids that rely on a screen to eat often get to that point because eating is difficult because of oral motor, sensory, or medical issues.
The Typical Picky Eating Phase
One other common factor is that some children start off as good eaters, and then between 1-2 years of age, eating starts to go awry. Annoying, upsetting.. yes!
Like it or not though, it is NORMAL for toddlers to go through a picky eating stage as their taste buds mature and they begin to want to exert some control into their lives. Parents, sometimes, get scared when their child that had healthy eating habits is now not eating as well, and will begin to throw routine and structure out the window.
The Snowball Effect
With parents just wanting their kids to eat anything or at least some healthy snacks, short order cooking is ushered in, among numerous and otherwise well-meaning, but sabotaging techniques, and parents are left with a bona fide picky eater months or years later.
Although the intention was in the right place, the lack of routine can lead to long term eating refusal and difficulties.
I call it the snowball effect because the eating difficulties started off small and grew with momentum over time, just like a snowball rolling down a big hill!
To make sure you have a solid routine, grab our free Picky Eating Essentials printable, it includes 9 important steps to improve eating and 25+ food ideas for picky eaters.
5. Anxiety
Most parents I talk to with kids over 5 think that anxiety is the main factor for kids that refuse to eat, and it is often a component. Kids that have a hard time chewing, get stomach aches or worse when eating, or can’t stand the texture of so many foods are scared to put new or different foods in their mouth.
Eating has often not been enjoyable and filled with negative experiences, so yes they are scared. They are anxious.
But, I don’t consider anxiety the main underlying cause unless it goes into clinical psychological anxiety. In which case, kids will often make the following types of statements:
- I’m scared to eat the spaghetti I might choke
- I really want to eat that, but it might be contaminated with germs
- What if there’s poison in the pizza? I just can’t eat it
With clinical food related anxiety, kids often become irrational. And, they often have clinical anxiety in other areas of their life.
This is different than a child saying, “I’m scared that food is going to feel slimy like the avocado”. That is a sensory based fear and is treated differently.
If a child has clinical anxiety and NO OTHER underlying causes that have impacted their eating and are typically over 5 years old, they may qualify for an Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder diagnosis (ARFID), however I see this diagnosis frequently mis-diagnosed when PFD is more appropriate.
If you aren’t sure, get a few opinions and please feel free to leave us a comment below, we answer every one!
What if My Child is Refusing to Eat Because They’re Being Bad?
A lot of people advise parents that kids are being “bad” or that the reason they are refusing to eat is behavior-based. Although behavior plays a role, it is actually a small percentage of kids that actually refuse to eat based solely on behavior.
In fact, with the hundreds of families I’ve treated and the thousands I’ve taught in our online picky programs, I’ve never seen one kid’s picky eating that can be solely explained by behavior.
Now, please don’t mistake me, even the youngest of tykes will learn quickly what they need to say or cry or throw to get what food they want.
All kids go through different stages of development when they are testing boundaries and you can bet they will test it at meal times, too. After all, this is one of the few areas where they actually have some control. But, these kinds of little phases are short lived and aren’t severe.
For kids that have a history of being picky eaters, behavior is a piece of the puzzle, but typically, it has evolved from one of the legitimate reasons listed above.
And, when you address the underlying cause, the behaviors around meals decrease!
What to Do When Your Child Won’t Eat
If you can’ tell yet, here at Your Kid’s Table, picky eating is our thing. We have a lot of resources for parents and therapists working with picky kids.
No matter what combination of reasons are causing your child to be a picky eater, you’ll want to start with not pressuring them during meals while putting a consistent routine in place for them like having regularly scheduled meals with no snacking in between to help them start eating.
Then, focus on specifically addressing the underlying cause, whether that is sensory processing, medical, or oral motor skills.
Once you have a solid routine (grab this free printable to help develop one) and are addressing the underlying cause, you can also use some of my favorite picky eating tips. I love to use dips (even if you think your child hates them, I show you how), fun tools like toothpicks (trust me) and divided plates.
Plus, there are lots of novel ideas like making food fun, and I’m not talking about elaborate food scenes that you spend an hour cutting out.
And, my favorite tip that can make a huge difference is cooking with your kids! I know everyone says that and parents think, “Not my kid”. But, hear me out. I show you how to do it, tell you why it’s important, and give you these recipes designed for picky eaters:
- Pumpkin waffles (added nutrition)
- Bruschetta bar (this seriously is the best dinner for ANY picky eater that likes bread)
- High calorie smoothie
- Homemade chicken nuggets your kid will eat! (my special recipe)
- Not-spicy homemade tacos (check out the very motivating taco truck that can come to the table!)
- Banana sweet potato bread
- Roasted Cauliflower (2 of my kids tried cauliflower for the first time with this recipe)
- Crispy Potato Skins (basic recipe that’s perfect for picky eaters, got one of my kids to eat potatoes with this recipe)
For even more food ideas, head over to healthy snacks for picky eaters and healthy recipes for picky eaters (you’ll find a free printable too!)
If you’ve tried a lot of these tips before and want to dig a little deeper (only use these after you have a routine and positive environment), then you can move on to my heavy hitting picky eating tips. These require a little more thought, but can have a huge impact.
Read about how to get your child to explore new foods and build on what they are already eating with food chaining.
Lastly, to save your sanity, find out how to have just one family meal, even with a picky eater (you can do it!) and how to keep mealtimes positive, even when that seems impossible.
I know you may be tempted to feel overwhelmed at this point, but resist! This page is here (pin it so you can come back). Remember, one step at a time!
Getting More Help for the Child that Refuses to Eat Anything
Having a picky eater, let alone an extreme picky eater or child with PFD, can be extremely overwhelming and paralyzing. I’ve experienced it myself and the worry can take over your life. But, there are a few ways to get help from a professional:
- I highly recommend learning proven strategies that you can use everyday to start improving your child’s eating, this is possible no matter how picky they are! There’s so much bad advice out there, but in my free workshop I teach you exactly what 3 strategies to start working on now. That could make a difference, today. It’s totally free and you can grab a spot in here!
- Learn more about feeding therapy for picky eaters, and if it would be a good fit for your child. However, feeding therapy is often just once a week, which is why it’s important to have those strategies you can use at home.
You might need the tips and link shared here again. Save it to Pinterest here!
More Articles for the Child that Refuses to Eat Anything
8 Tips to Keep Your Child Seated at the Table
Fun Plates, Forks, and Other Cool Stuff that Get Kids to Eat
8 Things You Can Do When a Toddler Refuses to Eat
Are Food Jags Affecting Your Picky Eater? What you need to know…
Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 19 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
You may have just given me the answer. My son HATES fruit. People are constantly frowning at me and trying to force me to force my son to eat fruit. Most kids love grapes, melon etc., not my son. Even when he was a baby he would spit it out. When he was old enough he would tell me “it’s slimy Mum. It’s yucky”. When I read the sensory processing section, it all just clicked. Now, at the age of 7, nothing has changed and I have given up on the fruit completely. There is list of other things that are forbidden as well but I can usually incorporate them into other dishes that he will eat. I try to get him those vitamins he is missing out on through kids vitamins, fruit bars etc. For everyone else out there going through this, I feel your pain. Hang in there
Thanks so much for your comment Carmen, and good job being patient and understanding with you son!
I am now 19 years old. I LOVED fruits and veggies as a toddler, but somewhere around 5 I stopped altogether. I am very big on texture issues (ex: rice) and smell. I have tried fequently to eat healthier and integrate suvh things back into my diet, but nothing has truly stuck. It is a HUGE concern of mine, and since I am older, I do know tastes change. Have any of you experienced this yourself or your children?
Thanks so much for sharing your experience Amy! I’m curious have you experienced any other sensory sensitivities? Do you not like getting dirty or do certain types of clothes bother you? It is a little unusual for sensory preferences to change at that age, but you may have had an experience that left an impression and it kind of created a “rut” in the way you process that information since then. For example, if you were sick and vomiting a lot.
Aisha, it is definitely hard to say. I have had depression since I was 7, and developed more mental health issues that could have also led to this. I know around that time I still ate school lunches, sanwhiches and freezer foods, and even home cooked meals. I also remember just sleeping at the table or crying until I threw up if anyone tried the “wont leave the table until you eat these …”. I can not remember anything severe enough to inprint these habits, except maybe medicines (that were definitely NOT cherry/grape). I really wish I knew!
Thanks for the reply Amy. I was just wondering because it helps give me insight into the feelings that kids may be experiencing, but can’t articulate. And that is why I never recommend instituting that rule! Wishing you the best.
hello, I googled “my kid is not eating” and i have been reading through different websites looking for answers.
I see your post was written about 2 years ago, I hope the blog still works. I am commenting all the way from Nigeria Africa. My two year old stopped eating abruptly, its my first child so im getting a little worried hence why i turned to google. He was a great eater who ate everything and just as he was turning 2 in april just suddenly stopped. I thought maybe he was ill but he’s energy level hasn’t dropped, he is a super active boy. I read your article but i cant seem to place him under any category seeing as he just stopped eating suddenly. I dont know what to do sometimes i get so frustrated and start crying. please help!!!1
Hello from Nigeria! I am still here! First, have you checked with a doctor just to make sure that there isn’t anything medical going on. Second, I would encourage you to keep things consistent by offering regular meals- see my eating basics tab in the menu bar. Give him a highly preferred meal and keep it positive, no stress, no pressure. Hopefully, this will pass, but you don’t want to make it worse. Let me know how it goes.
Non of these articles helped me figure out what my daughters problem is.. she is 2 1/2yrs.. still don’t chew anything solid.. there ia nothing she likes to eat.. we have tried in many different ways.. routine and non routine.. with other kids.. alone.. infront of tv .. but nothing works.. she just hate food.. only thing she like is her milk bottle at bed time around 6pm and at early morning around 6am. Even doctors give this same advice in this article.. but i dont know what to do anymore
I’m sorry this hasn’t been helpful to you. If she isn’t chewing food there is likely a sensory component or a difficulty with chewing. Sometimes these difficulties aren’t obvious and require the help of a professional. I have worked with many families in similar situations and know how stressful the situation is. Even though a routine isn’t going to help anything over night it is the first step. If you are able I would strongly recommend seeing an OT or SLP that specializes in feeding. Please feel free to email me if you have more concerns (alisha@yourkidstable.com) Lastly, there is a new book that I will be reviewing next week: Helping Your Child With Extreme Picky Eating by Katja Rowell- I highly recommend it.
I have been researching information about why my daughter doesn’t eat, and I came across your page. It was the best breakdown about why a child wouldn’t be eating that I have found. My daughter will be 3 in 2 months, and has always been an “okay” eater. I think that she would fall into the “mechanics” area because she has always held food in her cheeks, spit it out, sometimes gagging and throwing it up. Once I realized what she was doing I would limit how much she would have in her mouth, make the pieces/sizes smaller so it was easier to chew, and she did better. I would show her how I chewed, and then swallowed once it was chewed. She seemed to be doing a lot better. However, this past week she has slowly declined. She has seems upset/anxious if she has eaten the “bad” part of the food and that it is still in her stomach. (Her vocabulary is quite large, and so she does explain herself half decent.) When I tell her she ate the good part, she still cries and tells me she ate the bad part. This has happened every day for the past week, and this scenario (eating, worrying/crying, comforting her, eating the same thing, wanting to get it out of her). She is at my mother’s and MIL’s house when I work part time during the week, so I don’t know if something was said to make her afraid of eating a bad part. I have talked to them, and they have said she does the same thing, but they can’t think of what would have been said. For the last day and half she refuses all food, and says she will only drink chocolate milk. I give her foods she normally loved, and she refuses them saying “I don’t want to eat anymore.” I don’t know if this is a phase, if I should contact her pediatrician, or something more drastic. Please help. I would appreciate it!
It sounds like she may have had a bad experience with food or heard something as you expected. She is so young so reasoning with her will probably not get you far. I would try to change up the routine by eating out or having a picnic- something fun. Also, keep mealtimes no pressure at all and talk about something else. Tell her it is her choice if she eats (which it really is), but you are going to sit down for the meal. Make sure she has some highly preferred foods there as well. That doesn’t mean you have to totally cater to her though. The goal right now is for her to feel no pressure and have positive experiences at meals. Let me know how it goes after a few days.
I am at a loss. My 6 year old refuses to eat anything, his favorite foods, snack food, candy anything. This has been going on for a long time. The only way we get him to eat is to sit with him and literally tell him to take a bit, chew, swallow, take another bite, and on. It’s to the point he is not gaining weight and his pediatrician is concerned because he hasn’t gained weight in a year. Physically he is fine we have run just about every medical test to confirm there is nothing wrong which are all normal. We are now giving him an Ensure Plus shake with 2 extra scoops of Ensure powder in it every night before bed just to get calories into him (which again we have to tell him take a drink and swallow, and another). We have talked to nutritionist with no help. He sees a therapist for his ADHD and ODD and his eating is discussed but it doesn’t change. We’ve had people he looks up to talk to him about it but nothing changes. I am at a complete loss. The Dr is talking about a feeding tube if something doesn’t change. I am looking for any suggestions or things to try because I am at a complete and utter loss on what to do.
Oh my gosh Nikki, I’m so sorry. I can imagine how difficult this situation is. Has he always been this way or did it change at some point? Have you ever seen an OT or speech therapist that specializes in feeding? There is no pressure, but I am available for consults, you can find out more in the menu bar.
Hi, I’ve been going through so many eating articles where ever i can find them, and basically all the advice boils down to is “they’ll eat when they are hungry”. This is so frustrating, when you don’t have a frame of reference as to gauge for how long you can let this go on, or if there’s really something else you should be looking into. My son now almost 4 was born at 7 months. We followed all the guidelines given by his doc and he gained weight and was on track by 12mnths. I gave him all types of food (yes ALL) when I fed him. Then when he started finger foods, he was really good at it, eating even noodles by himself. Ofcourse i still fed him most of the food in between. But at 1.5yrs, he stopped everything. Wouldn’t sit at the table, wouldn’t eat hardly anything, I had to continue baby food for longer than I wanted to. for about a year, he would only eat either store bought fries, chips, plain pasta/speghetti/noodles, fish/chicken. He survived on milk/yoghurt/juice till he was almost 2.5 yrs. Things have improved a lot now. He eats a wider range of things. But now, its been a struggle getting him to feed himself. few days ago I decided I can’t keep on feeding him, and told him he can either eat himself, what he’s given for meals, or not. I was not going to make substitute meals and I was not going to feed him. two days now, he refuses lunch and dinner altogether. wakes up in the middle of the night from hunger and keeps me awake. The second night I offered the banana he didn’t eat at dinner, and he refused. So I said, fine, if you’re not hungry, you can go back to sleep. He was awake and crying till dawn!. This is so hard to see. How long do I keep this on for? My husband can’t tolerate seeing him going to bed hungry, and it’s really hard for me too. 🙁
He’s always been fussy with textures ever since we started feeding him. He can take crunchy food, or semi-liquids like yoghurt, but never mixed together. Like even now, he won’t eat yoghurt with fruit bits. All his food needs to be separated, Rice, chicken, veggies. Unless I force feed him, he will not take two types together most of the time, but will eat them separately. And it takes aages for him to try a new food. But I have no idea how this sensitivity to textures has anything to do with his willingness to eat.
Please help.
Hello, I totally understand your frustration, but wanted to see if you have read a lot on my site. I do not advocate just letting them go hungry, ever. There is a TON of info on here. I would ask you to start with the eating basics tab in the menu bar and then click on the links at the end to get started with more advanced strategies. I encourage you to follow a slower approach instead of going cold turkey on the feeding. Read that article and then get back to me if you need more help. Also, make sure you ALWAYS have one food he likes at every meal, serve him the rest of what you are eating as well and try to make this coordinate with the rest of your meal.
Hi, I’ve been going through so many eating articles where ever i can find them, and basically all the advice boils down to is “they’ll eat when they are hungry”. This is so frustrating, when you don’t have a frame of reference as to gauge for how long you can let this go on, or if there’s really something else you should be looking into. My son now almost 4 was born at 7 months. We followed all the guidelines given by his doc and he gained weight and was on track by 12mnths. I gave him all types of food (yes ALL) when I fed him. Then when he started finger foods, he was really good at it, eating even noodles by himself. Ofcourse i still fed him most of the food in between. But at 1.5yrs, he stopped everything. Wouldn’t sit at the table, wouldn’t eat hardly anything, I had to continue baby food for longer than I wanted to. for about a year, he would only eat either store bought fries, chips, plain pasta/speghetti/noodles, fish/chicken. He survived on milk/yoghurt/juice till he was almost 2.5 yrs. Things have improved a lot now. He eats a wider range of things. But now, its been a struggle getting him to feed himself. few days ago I decided I can’t keep on feeding him, and told him he can either eat himself, what he’s given for meals, or not. I was not going to make substitute meals and I was not going to feed him. two days now, he refuses lunch and dinner altogether. wakes up in the middle of the night from hunger and keeps me awake. The second night I offered the banana he didn’t eat at dinner, and he refused. So I said, fine, if you’re not hungry, you can go back to sleep. He was awake and crying till dawn!. This is so hard to see. How long do I keep this on for? My husband can’t tolerate seeing him going to bed hungry, and it’s really hard for me too. 🙁
He’s always been fussy with textures ever since we started feeding him. He can take crunchy food, or semi-liquids like yoghurt, but never mixed together. Like even now, he won’t eat yoghurt with fruit bits. All his food needs to be separated, Rice, chicken, veggies. Unless I force feed him, he will not take two types together most of the time, but will eat them separately. And it takes aages for him to try a new food. But I have no idea how this sensitivity to textures has anything to do with his willingness to eat.
Please help.
Greetings from Slovenia. I came across your article and could not help but wonder if you have some experience and suggestion how to transition from the feeding tube back to eating normally. Our daughter, who has autism, suddenly stopes eating, presumably due to a GI infection. Although al the test came back negative, doctors still suspected infection, because od the symptoms. She was eating plenty before. Somewhat strict a out the texture of food (preferred smoothies and dried fruit and pumpkin seeds — two extreme ends of the solid specter of food)
However, she suddenly refused to eat and needed an NG tube.
She has had the tube now for a few months and we are exploring ways in helping her transition back to eating. Do you have any suggestions and experience in overcoming this sort of aversion?
Many thanks!!!
Very good question and something I haven’t covered here. I have a little bit of experience with this. It is important to give oral feedings with the tube feed so they can begin to make the association that when they have something in their mouth they feel full. Keep it really positive and take your time.
My son is 2 1/2 and he seems to be on a one food diet. He used to only eat peanut butter sandwich for a while, but he now refuses it and will only eat eggo(waffles). I don’t think he has problems with chewing and swallowing as he is fine with crackers and cereal. He drinks 2 cups of milk a day, loves yogurt.. I keep giving him new foods for him to try but he refuses to open his mouth and runs away. He isn’t underweight or short for his age buy I’m worried about his health. He does get constipated often but I’m thinking that’s due to eating only carbohydrates. I’m really at a loss as to what to do. I’ve spoken to nutritionists and all they say is to keep introducing foods and be patient, but for how long???
I know how frustrating this. Unfortunately, I don’t have an easy answer for you. I would recommend starting with the eating basics tab and the articles I recommend at the end. That will get you started. If you want to talk in depth see my consulting services also in the menu bar.
My son is 2 years old and these last couple of months he is not eating well. First he stopped eating lunch, than started skipping breakfast and now dinner too. lt might be a reaction to the baby (3 months old) but whatever the reason I don’t know how to make him eat. He drinks a lot of milk but that’s it. I could really use some advice. Thanks.
I have a TON of information on this site. See the eating basics and article index tabs in the menu bar for lots of detailed info to get started. After reading some of those articles don’t hesitate to ask other questions OR see the consulting services tab for individualized specific help.
Very good article! Thank you for sharing. I think most of us deal with one picky eater in the family. I used to be one myself.
Daniela
http://www.aznannies.com
Hi I know this post was written a while ago but I have only just stumbled across it as I’m frantically searching for something to help me get my son to eat.
He is 15 months old and the battle we have each day at every meal time is so overwhelming that I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
We started him on solids at 5 months of age and he has never taken to it. Even now I can’t get him to eat puréed foods. I’m constantly offering him different things in different textures, purée, mash, finger foods but he puts up such a fuss. Unless he is extremely distracted, he will not open his mouth (and sometimes distraction doesn’t work). He moves his head away, put his arms up, swats the spoon away. I’ve tried giving him his own spoon too and shown him what to do but he throws it on the floor.
A lot of your post sounds familiar. He had reflux up until about 11 months (undiagnosed but he was throwing up about 25 times a day so I assume that’s what it was), he gags a lot with food in his mouth, finger foods have to be cut up very small or he shoves the whole thing in his mouth, he will chew for a bit then spit out and most of the time he won’t even try it but just throw it straight on the floor.
The only thing I know he will eat are rice puffs and sultanas.
I live in Australia so unfortunately can’t get you out to see us.
I’ve had a speech therapist review him which was hopeless and my doctor just says to keep persisting which of course I am.
Can you make any suggestions or perhaps know of someone on this side of the world or some profession that may be able to help us.
It’s very upsetting and I too get from everyone “he will eat when he’s hungry” but he IS HUNGRY.
Some days I resort to giving him formula throughout the day so that he doesn’t cry for hours.
Hope you can help. Sorry for the long post.
You definitely have your hands full and I think some help would go a long way. Your story isn’t uncommon for me to hear. I don’t know anyone in Australia but have done several consults there via skype or facetime. See the tab in the menu bar for information. Also see the article index, there are a ton of articles on here that will help. You are very right that some kids won’t eat when they are hungry, make sure he always has one food he likes to eat at each meal and don’t allow snacking. Please let me know if you have other questions!
you forgot to mention medications. My son has a loss of appetite when on his meds, and it is very frustrating. so every bite that goes into his mouth has to be very nutritious
Thank you for replying and your advice. He has cows milk protein allergy and is ill a lot of the time with variety of things from hand,foot and mouth to croup to severe eczema. I took him to the doctors and they looked at his throat and all is fine that they can see. He wants to eat i can see this because he puts things in his mouth chews a little and instead of swallowing he spits it out. He is currently surviving on 2x Weetabix and 6oz of aptamil pepti 2 formula twice a day and lots of water. Getting him to take the weetabix is a trick but i feel its got to be done. X