Feel like you’re banging your head against the wall trying to figure out why your child won’t eat anything or refuses to eat at all? There are real reasons and ways you can help picky eater kids. Learn how from a feeding expert and mom.
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As an occupational therapist, parents ask me all the time “Why does my child refuse to eat anything?”
It’s frustrating when you try to serve new foods, or worse, when you serve something they’ve eaten before like their beloved chicken nuggets or peanut butter crackers and they refuse to eat!
Most kids will do this occasionally, but some kids are refusing to eat on a regular basis.
What’s going on with kids that almost never seem to eat?
Or, will only eat if you feed them?
Or, the child that won’t eat and is losing weight?
As a parent, it’s scary, confusing, and stressful. You may wonder if you’re just dealing with a picky eater’s preferences that are like shifting sands.
It’s often much more than picky eating – more on that in a minute.
“My 2/3/4+ year old won’t eat anything” – Where to Start
To help kids that are refusing food, we have to start with figuring out WHY they aren’t eating, because consistent food refusal is not a typical part of development.
In fact, when a kid is repeatedly not eating with or without weight loss, it’s a BIG red flag that something more is going on.
It’s time to put on your detective hat and get to the root of the problem so that you have the tools to help your child eat more food, and avoid power struggles at family meals.
5 Reasons Why a Child Refuses to Eat Anything
The truth is that there are A LOT of reasons why kids refuse to eat food. In my experience, as a occupational therapist with a specialized feeding background, I believe that most can be organized into 5 different reasons.
However, we have to be clear that when a child is regularly refusing to eat very little of any food or has only a few favorite foods that they are willing to eat, they may qualify for a diagnosis of Pediatric Feeding Disorder (PFD), which was just added as a diagnosable code in October of 2021.
Another option is Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, however this is closely linked to anxiety. See more in number 5 below for more info!
This is a good thing because children that are struggling to eat have often been described as picky eaters, which isn’t an adequate definition and leaves kids not getting the help they need.
As you read through the list below, look for signs you’ve seen in your child as a possible explanation. It’s very possible that several of the the underlying difficulties below are present in a child that often won’t eat.
Keeping that in mind, let me explain in some more detail.
#1. Physical or Medical Issues
Although this may seem like the most obvious reason kids don’t eat, it is often the most overlooked, or isn’t explored thoroughly. When kids have a well documented medical condition or are visibly sick, it is obvious that their eating is affected.
But, sometimes there are more subtle signs that are incredibly easy to miss. Two of the biggest culprits are silent acid reflux and constipation. Both of these very common problems for kids can put a halt to eating.
Although acid reflux is common in babies, it can also have an impact on kids much older, even if they weren’t diagnosed as an infant.
Unfortunately, many times it’s because kids don’t complain that their stomach is hurting. Many of them don’t even realize it because they have felt that way for so long OR they are too young to put into words how they are feeling.
Read more about acid reflux in children and to find a few natural remedies.
My older son has struggled with constipation since he was about one year old. I have to carefully watch his fiber intake and when he starts to get a little backed up, his eating is greatly affected.
Every time he doesn’t eat well, I have to ask myself, “Does he need to go to the bathroom?” The answer is usually, yes! Managing your child’s constipation can be a huge game changer in helping them eat new foods.
Read more about severe constipation in children and natural remedies to fix it.
If your child’s refusal to eat is more of a phase, you may want to consider teething, not feeling well, or fatigue as possible reasons for not eating.
And sometimes, if your child is chronically sick or tired, then food refusal or picky eating may become a way of life for them.
I strongly encourage you to see a pediatric GI if your child has any physical symptoms, or if you’ve ruled out the other causes listed here because there could be other possible digestive difficulties. There are many other, although less common possibilities such as:
- Food allergies (3-5% of kids)
- Food sensitivities
- Eosinophilic esophagitis (EoE)
- Delayed stomach emptying
- Physical abnormalities in the throat, mouth, or gut
- Tongue, lip, or cheek ties
Some signs that your child may have any of the above medical issues are:
- Eating only small portions
- Difficulty swallowing dry or rough textures
- Dropping a food they used to like such as milk, yogurt, or eggs
- Only wanting liquids and not solid food
- Holding chewed food in their cheeks (pocketing food)
However, each of those signs can have multiple explanations! That’s why that detective hat is important!
It’s a good idea to discuss it further with your doc!
#2. Sensory Processing Causing Food Refusal
For many picky eaters, sensory processing plays a big role in their refusal to eat foods. Simply put, if something feels gross in their mouth or on their hands, they aren’t going to eat it.
The fancy therapeutic term we give for when a child doesn’t want to touch different textures is tactile defensive. And, when they don’t like certain textures in their mouth, or chew/bite/lick everything else but food, it is a sign that their oral sensory system needs some help.
Clues that your child may be refusing foods because of sensory input are: gagging, squirming, or seeming frightened by the sight, smell, touch, or taste of a particular food.
Often, the first signs appear when parents try to feed babies baby or table foods. Sometimes, these reactions start as the taste buds become more developed between 1-2 years old.
And, other times, older kids can develop texture and taste sensitivities that weren’t there when they were younger!
Extreme Sensitivity and Fear of Anything in or Near the Mouth: Oral Aversion
Oral aversion also fits into this category.
If your child has had medical testing, feeding tubes, severe vomiting, or a physical incident in or around their mouth/throat (even from a infancy), they may be scared to have anything come toward their mouth and be overly sensitive in the area.
On the other end of the sensory spectrum, a child may not be able to discriminate food in their mouth well and they will unsafely stuff a large amount of food into their cheeks like a chipmunk.
This helps give them some feedback as to where the food actually is. These kids lose track of the food easily and can’t chew it well. Soft foods that aren’t easily discriminated (think mashed potatoes, cheese, etc.) are usually refused because they can’t manipulate them well in their mouth.
Sensory is often the hidden link in picky eating and food refusal, and while a lot of parents haven’t heard of it before, it’s critical to address it so that your child can learn to eat a variety of nutritious foods at meal times with the rest of the family.
If you can understand why your child is refusing food from a sensory perspective, well, it changes everything. To understand the connection better, read sensory processing and picky eating.
What May Be Causing Chronic Poor Appetite: Interoception
While frequent snack times and drinking milk throughout the day can spoil a child’s appetite for the next meal, some kids never seem to feel hungry or understand what fullness is.
This is related to one of the hidden senses called interoception. Basically, a child with poor interoception isn’t recognizing signs from their stomach that it’s time to eat or to keep eating until they feel full.
It’s like they’re lost in transmission. The good news is there’s a way to improve this appetite awareness! Learn more in our interoception article.
3. Oral-Motor Skills
We take it for granted, but chewing is a coordinated skill just like walking, talking, and learning to read. It doesn’t come easy for all kids. Therapists call the ability to bite chew, and swallow, oral-motor skills.
Signs that your child may not be chewing well are:
- Choking/gagging after the food is already in their mouth for a few seconds/minutes
- Pocketing food (holding it in their mouth)
- Wants to eat soft or pureed foods
- Spitting out half chewed food
- Food falls out of mouth accidentally
- Can’t remove food or crumbs from lips or corners of mouth with their tongue or lips
- Throwing up food that looks like it has hardly been chewed
- History of difficulty breastfeeding
Often, these signs are apparent in young children because they have a hard time learning to eat table foods or even pureed foods. While kids with any of the underlying causes listed could have a difficult time with weight, kids with poor oral motor skills get tired and frustrated.
They give up on eating quickly and may not get on a growth curve.
Some kids will start refusing to eat foods because they don’t know how to chew it or they are scared they are going to gag/choke/throw up again on the food they literally don’t know how to eat.
This can continue into the teen years, although when left untreated, kids may figure out some workarounds.
But, it’s not uncommon for a 12 year old’s refusal to eat to be linked in some way to oral motor skills. Head over to Oral Motor Exercises to learn more about how to help your child improve their oral motor skills.
Sometimes, oral motor difficulties snowball to include sensory defensiveness too, because when a child hasn’t eaten any other textures in a really long time or ever, they become very sensitive to them.
These other textures may seem strange and even uncomfortable when they touch or feel them.
If your child never transitioned well to crunchy table foods, then you’ll want to check out How to Transition to Finger Foods
4. Routine, the Typical Picky Eating Phase, and the Snowball Effect
I strongly believe that structure and routine around food and meal time is critical to kids eating well.
Because for some kids with average picky eating, changes to the meal time routine can help your child reduce “junk food”, come to the dinner table easily, and eat more of what we often consider “healthy” meals.
There are some kids that will manage to eat well with a lack of routine, but by and large, most kids’ eating habits will suffer greatly without a regular routine.
Without a routine, kids can slide into eating a separate meal away from the rest of the family and may not eat much food when they eat alone.
If you don’t have regular meal times, pay attention to how frequently your child is eating. Do you eat in front of the TV often, and/or mostly let your kids pick what they want to eat?
If they don’t have a wide variety of foods, only want snack foods, or aren’t willing to try foods, lack of routine may be the reason for it… or at least part of it.
I commonly see this compounded on top of one of the other 4 reasons kids don’t eat. When there is a problem with eating, we get overwhelmed and start grasping at straws just to get them to eat.
This is another way the bad habits can begin and then play a role in food refusal.
That’s not to say that you’re to blame, I mean our kids have to eat, right? And, we do the best we can with what we know. Don’t feel guilty about choices you’ve made in desperate situations.
I promise you that even with the pickiest eaters, there is a way out of eating in front of an iPad or them having their own separate meals. It is one step at a time and I’ll show you how in my tips below.
Although many kids that rely on a screen to eat often get to that point because eating is difficult because of oral motor, sensory, or medical issues.
The Typical Picky Eating Phase
One other common factor is that some children start off as good eaters, and then between 1-2 years of age, eating starts to go awry. Annoying, upsetting.. yes!
Like it or not though, it is NORMAL for toddlers to go through a picky eating stage as their taste buds mature and they begin to want to exert some control into their lives. Parents, sometimes, get scared when their child that had healthy eating habits is now not eating as well, and will begin to throw routine and structure out the window.
The Snowball Effect
With parents just wanting their kids to eat anything or at least some healthy snacks, short order cooking is ushered in, among numerous and otherwise well-meaning, but sabotaging techniques, and parents are left with a bona fide picky eater months or years later.
Although the intention was in the right place, the lack of routine can lead to long term eating refusal and difficulties.
I call it the snowball effect because the eating difficulties started off small and grew with momentum over time, just like a snowball rolling down a big hill!
To make sure you have a solid routine, grab our free Picky Eating Essentials printable, it includes 9 important steps to improve eating and 25+ food ideas for picky eaters.
5. Anxiety
Most parents I talk to with kids over 5 think that anxiety is the main factor for kids that refuse to eat, and it is often a component. Kids that have a hard time chewing, get stomach aches or worse when eating, or can’t stand the texture of so many foods are scared to put new or different foods in their mouth.
Eating has often not been enjoyable and filled with negative experiences, so yes they are scared. They are anxious.
But, I don’t consider anxiety the main underlying cause unless it goes into clinical psychological anxiety. In which case, kids will often make the following types of statements:
- I’m scared to eat the spaghetti I might choke
- I really want to eat that, but it might be contaminated with germs
- What if there’s poison in the pizza? I just can’t eat it
With clinical food related anxiety, kids often become irrational. And, they often have clinical anxiety in other areas of their life.
This is different than a child saying, “I’m scared that food is going to feel slimy like the avocado”. That is a sensory based fear and is treated differently.
If a child has clinical anxiety and NO OTHER underlying causes that have impacted their eating and are typically over 5 years old, they may qualify for an Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder diagnosis (ARFID), however I see this diagnosis frequently mis-diagnosed when PFD is more appropriate.
If you aren’t sure, get a few opinions and please feel free to leave us a comment below, we answer every one!
What if My Child is Refusing to Eat Because They’re Being Bad?
A lot of people advise parents that kids are being “bad” or that the reason they are refusing to eat is behavior-based. Although behavior plays a role, it is actually a small percentage of kids that actually refuse to eat based solely on behavior.
In fact, with the hundreds of families I’ve treated and the thousands I’ve taught in our online picky programs, I’ve never seen one kid’s picky eating that can be solely explained by behavior.
Now, please don’t mistake me, even the youngest of tykes will learn quickly what they need to say or cry or throw to get what food they want.
All kids go through different stages of development when they are testing boundaries and you can bet they will test it at meal times, too. After all, this is one of the few areas where they actually have some control. But, these kinds of little phases are short lived and aren’t severe.
For kids that have a history of being picky eaters, behavior is a piece of the puzzle, but typically, it has evolved from one of the legitimate reasons listed above.
And, when you address the underlying cause, the behaviors around meals decrease!
What to Do When Your Child Won’t Eat
If you can’ tell yet, here at Your Kid’s Table, picky eating is our thing. We have a lot of resources for parents and therapists working with picky kids.
No matter what combination of reasons are causing your child to be a picky eater, you’ll want to start with not pressuring them during meals while putting a consistent routine in place for them like having regularly scheduled meals with no snacking in between to help them start eating.
Then, focus on specifically addressing the underlying cause, whether that is sensory processing, medical, or oral motor skills.
Once you have a solid routine (grab this free printable to help develop one) and are addressing the underlying cause, you can also use some of my favorite picky eating tips. I love to use dips (even if you think your child hates them, I show you how), fun tools like toothpicks (trust me) and divided plates.
Plus, there are lots of novel ideas like making food fun, and I’m not talking about elaborate food scenes that you spend an hour cutting out.
And, my favorite tip that can make a huge difference is cooking with your kids! I know everyone says that and parents think, “Not my kid”. But, hear me out. I show you how to do it, tell you why it’s important, and give you these recipes designed for picky eaters:
- Pumpkin waffles (added nutrition)
- Bruschetta bar (this seriously is the best dinner for ANY picky eater that likes bread)
- High calorie smoothie
- Homemade chicken nuggets your kid will eat! (my special recipe)
- Not-spicy homemade tacos (check out the very motivating taco truck that can come to the table!)
- Banana sweet potato bread
- Roasted Cauliflower (2 of my kids tried cauliflower for the first time with this recipe)
- Crispy Potato Skins (basic recipe that’s perfect for picky eaters, got one of my kids to eat potatoes with this recipe)
For even more food ideas, head over to healthy snacks for picky eaters and healthy recipes for picky eaters (you’ll find a free printable too!)
If you’ve tried a lot of these tips before and want to dig a little deeper (only use these after you have a routine and positive environment), then you can move on to my heavy hitting picky eating tips. These require a little more thought, but can have a huge impact.
Read about how to get your child to explore new foods and build on what they are already eating with food chaining.
Lastly, to save your sanity, find out how to have just one family meal, even with a picky eater (you can do it!) and how to keep mealtimes positive, even when that seems impossible.
I know you may be tempted to feel overwhelmed at this point, but resist! This page is here (pin it so you can come back). Remember, one step at a time!
Getting More Help for the Child that Refuses to Eat Anything
Having a picky eater, let alone an extreme picky eater or child with PFD, can be extremely overwhelming and paralyzing. I’ve experienced it myself and the worry can take over your life. But, there are a few ways to get help from a professional:
- I highly recommend learning proven strategies that you can use everyday to start improving your child’s eating, this is possible no matter how picky they are! There’s so much bad advice out there, but in my free workshop I teach you exactly what 3 strategies to start working on now. That could make a difference, today. It’s totally free and you can grab a spot in here!
- Learn more about feeding therapy for picky eaters, and if it would be a good fit for your child. However, feeding therapy is often just once a week, which is why it’s important to have those strategies you can use at home.
You might need the tips and link shared here again. Save it to Pinterest here!
More Articles for the Child that Refuses to Eat Anything
8 Tips to Keep Your Child Seated at the Table
Fun Plates, Forks, and Other Cool Stuff that Get Kids to Eat
8 Things You Can Do When a Toddler Refuses to Eat
Are Food Jags Affecting Your Picky Eater? What you need to know…
Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 19 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
We are in a similar situation. Daughter 3 and still doesn’t eat solid food (mainly chewing problems & sensory issues), but we are seeing the light. However, I should say we have had early intervention therapists (OT, Speech & Behavior) since age 1 & is seen at a private practice 3 times a week. I wish I would have found a site like this a couple years ago!!! I heard time after time that she was/is “stubborn”, “just put food in front of her”, “eventually she will get hungry”, etc. The fact is that will not work and just isn’t the case. We simply couldn’t accept that and knew she needed feeding therapy. The hard part was to find feeding specialists…OTs/Speech that had enough experience in this area. …and I should say we added a Behavior Specialist at the end of Early Intervention. I was reluctant to add this specialist because I always argued that this was simply not bad behavior. This specialist just helped us come up with positive reinforcements, ideas on how to recover after a really bad meal, etc. She actually was a big help to us. Anyhow, thank you for your posts. I will keep reading!!!
I should say a nutritionist helped as well to keep the calories on. My daughter is on the smaller side.
Hi Alisha,
My daughter is 3 years old and she is a terrible fussy eater or rather a non eater I would say. She is on just 11.5 kg from past 1 year . I have consulted many pedestrians but they end up giving me advice or some appetizer . After reading your article I think my daughter has mechanics problem she simply doesn’t chew her food she stores them in her cheeks for long time then spits it out. If I made a semi solid mushy food she doesn’t open her mouth wide she eats like a bird. I offered her many different kinds but nothing seems to work out. She doesn’t even want to eat junk food which most of the kids like. I left my job for her sake . now am feeling really miserable as am not able to improve her eating habits . I have lost the battle . At my home emotions keep flying high at every single meal. Bribe her . plead her scold her pamper her , She won’t budge . please help . please tell me how do I go about this.
Thanks in advance
Helpless mom
I’m so sorry- this is a very challenging situation. I would highly recommend the direction of a feeding therapist- I’m assuming you aren’t in the states so I’m not sure this is an option. I would read my posts transitioning your child to table foods. There are two parts and you can find them in the article index in the menu bar or in the sidebar under popular posts. This goes through some of the basics of teaching the child how to chew. However, there are likely multiple layers to her difficulty eating. There is so much info on here, I would start reading under feeding basics also in the menu bar. I would avoid scolding, she has something legitimate going on that makes it difficult for her to eat. There is no pressure, but I’m also available for consults where we could go over her history and discuss in more detail. You can find info for that in the menu bar also. Please let me know if I can help out in any other way!
You have so many good ideas here, but could you please do a post for parents on how to depersonalize the picky eater situation? I have tried everything–preferred foods, sample bites, variations on preferred foods, getting kids to help prepare a meal–and nothing has worked. They enjoy the process of cooking, but have no interest in the actual product (unless it’s cupcakes), even if they see that it is filled with all ingredients that they like. I am at my wit’s end, and dinner has become my absolute least favorite time of the day. (I have a 3-year-old and a 7-year-old.) I love to cook, and this is positively sucking all the enjoyment out of it. I always put a small portion of what I make on their plates–sometimes they try it, sometimes they don’t. I don’t want dinner to turn into a power struggle, but neither am I willing to make them separate meals or let them live on pancakes. Help!
Hi Alison, I totally hear you and sometimes if your kids are beyond picky eating, those strategies might not be enough. Look at the article index at the top menu. Read When Picky Eating Has Gone Too Far, if they are beyond picky eating seeking additional help will be very beneficial. Also, there are several posts about keeping mealtimes positive, expanding variety, and exploring new foods that should be helpful. There is no pressure, but I am available for consults where I can give specific advice. Let me know if I can be of more help.
Hi Alisha!
Thanks so much for this super informative article! Im wondering if you have any tips if we suspect a mechanical issue. Our 13 month old was a puree eating champ. He would eat any and every veggie or fruit with the exception of banana. Loved pouches, even combo flavors. I was raised eating what my mom cooked (“adult” food, no short order cooking) from the beginning and feel very strongly that our son will eat what we eat as well. We love food and want him to love food also. Our problem is, he is refusing solids. Foods that he gobbled up as purees get spit out in the real food/cooked form. We consistently offer whatever we are eating, as well as cheese, cooked veggies, soft fruit, etc and he almost instantly spits out most, others he will suck or “chew” for a bit and then spit out. I dont think its the taste because it isnt even in his mouth long enough. He happily eats cherios, mum mum crackers, teething cookies, cheese, pasta, and eggs (eggs 50% of the time). Anything else (squash, carrots, sweet potato, peas, corn, pears, peaches, strawberry, banana, blackberry, zuchinni, green beans etc etc) gets spit out. He loved any kind of meat for about 2 months and now spits that out too. He got teeth very late (first one at 11 months and now has two top and two bottom) and we made the mistake of giving only very soft things in tiny cut up bits because we thought he needed teeth to chew (i know now this isnt the case). Im starting to think he is scared to swallow or doesnt know how to chew things up properly? Other than the hard carrot idea or showing him our own chewing, where do I go from here? Im so discouraged that I keep resorting to mum mums and cookies and cheese but I dont know what to do. If he can chew those things is it just that he doesnt like the soft things? Some things like oranges I can tell he likes the taste of because he will keep it in his mouth and mull it around but ultimately doesnt swallow. Same with eggs the other 50% of the time (sometimes swallows eggs). I see photos of my friends with similar age children eating normal size bites of strawberry and pancakes and I know he isnt getting enough food at a meal. He of course wants to self feed and slaps spoons away but lately is interested in spoons and forks if he can hold them but still spits out what is on them. Help!
I keep reading “be consistent/keep trying” but we are going on four months of consistently offering different table foods at every meal and them getting spit out. I know its not that he fills up on crackers and other stuff. After 2 months of refusing solids, we introduced pouches out of desperation for him to eat something and very recently introduced teething crackers and mum mums (in the past few weeks) when he has lost interest in pouches.
Hi Caralea, I can completely understand how frustrating this. First, stick with more crunchy foods, if he is having difficulty chewing he will get more feedback from the chewing. You could also try holding a long piece of food like cheese curl and holding one end while you put the other end on his gums in the back- if he will allow you. I would also look into getting an early intervention evaluation, if you are in the states. See the article index for the article titled: Early Intervention Services. I would also make slow changes to foods he is eating, buying different brands and flavors. Lastly, read the post Exploring New Foods with Your Picky Eater. It talks a lot about the importance of play.
There is no pressure at all, but I am available for consults. It sounds like there are some underlying issues going on, that I would need to investigate more to give you specific info. I hope this helps a little. Let me know if I can do something else!
Very frustrating, my daughter turned 4 on 11/10 and since 11/12 she had not a thing. We have taken her to 2 emergency rooms and they say a behavior issue…I disagree I have an appointment with a GI dr Monday…Monday will be 14 days no food, when we ask her if something hurts she says yes and points to get belly button..we told the er about it but they say all test came back normal but she has been in the verge of dehydration 2 times during this time…I hope the GI dr will give us some answers.
Yes, very right to follow your instincts. Did they do an endoscopy, colonoscopy, or stomach emptying test in the ER. If not than they can’t say there isn’t a reason. Right now give her whatever and however to get her to eat or drink anything. I would consider following up with a feeding eval as well.
I’m going thru the same thing right now with my daughter an I had taken her to the er and they said everything is normal with all her blood work they told me she is constipated an just give her suppositorys for it an I did but she still not eating 🙁 my poor baby girl I feel so bad for her
I know, it is terrible!!! See the links I just added in this post, I actually have two post on constipation solutions, it might be helpful
Hi Alisha,
Thank you for you article!! it is very helpful and interesting.. Our daughter turned 1 year a few days ago, and she has never ever eaten more than 2-3 teaspoons (if we are lucky…) of anything. What ever goes into her mouth just gets pulled straight out. we have established she seems to prefer savoury to sweet tastes. Her appetite has definately increased for the past few weeks but she is just demanding more formula bottles instead if actually eating anything. Since birth we have struggled with constipation, that seems to get even worse when she is teething. She even refuses any kind of juice/rooibos tea. She is very stubborn by nature but I dont think its a behavoural issue. She seems healthy and happy, but she has not gained any weight for the past 3 months. 2 Peadiatritians have said she does have unusually large tonsils, could this affect her swollowing? How do we go about testing for oral aversions or tactile defensiveness? Please could you give us some advise.. Many thanks!! Mom&Dad Tinkler
Hello! You would see some red flags for tactile defensiveness by her either being uncomfortable with being messy, refusing to touch certain textures, and/or gagging at the sight, smell, touch, or taste of foods. Oral aversions may develop because of a past event: feeding tube, episode of throwing up, etc., and kids will outright refuse to eat. Her behavior is not typical- but I don’t want that to alarm you. I would push the constipation issue more with your doc for other solutions. Consider seeing a GI doc, if you don’t get answers there. Lastly, I would consider an early intervention eval if you are in the states.I have more on that here: http://www.yourkidstable.com/2013/09/help-for-infants-and-toddlers-early.html There is no pressure at all, but I’m available for consults- if you have any other questions about anything, please let me know!
My son squrims through out his eating when I’m feeding him no matter what i seem to do im out of ideas on how to get him to eat, and most of the time he will only eat table food if it is comming directly off of mommy or daddys plate what to i do?
How old is he? I would let him eat off your plate for now and keep it really positive. It’s important that he associates eating with something positive. Did anything from this article jump out at you as a possible reason your son is having a hard time?
Hi, I think I can relate to this with my 13 month old also in similar case. When you say to give a whole carrot & celery – should it be cooked?
Definitely raw! The point is for them to move it around in their mouth like a teether, if they can get any pieces off, take it off of them. Let me know how it goes!
Hi there from Nigeria. I love this whole carrot idea. I gave my baby peeled cucumbers whole when she was 9 months and she loved them. I Nam here for my 4 year old nephew and god son. I have subscribed to your newsletter and I am gaining some insight as to what to do. I think he has the sensory challenge because he looks at food either with disgust or total lack of interest. Never curious about anything on the table. I would try to have him more involved, like join me in preparing a mean of his choice. Wish me luck.
You’re having some great insights and are on the right track! Be as patient and consistent as possible, you’ll get there. Let me know if you ever have questions!
I’m very frustrated at this point. My 9 year old refuses to eat and at her own detriminte. She even lost weight which is how I noticed that she refuses to eat.. She wants us to feed her every meal and will stare holes in the wall that is how stubborn she is! So definately behaviour and I definately agree on the constipation I have had problems with that before. She’s epileptic so I’m not sure if her meds play a role in supressing her appetite as well. Just annoys. Me how it may change so all of a sudden.
I’m so sorry Pamper Box Salon- I know its sooo hard! It is unusual for a child her age to suddenly refuse to eat. I would explore the constipation issue more- you can use miralax. If you would like to talk I do offer consultations.
After reading many of your blog articles, I believe our 1 year old (June 21 she’ll be 13 months) has some mechanical issues with foods she needs to chew. I continue to offer her a variety of chewing foods and it is all she gets at day care now. At dinner and weekends if she does not eat enough which is all the time, I am still giving her pureed and preferred chewing foods (cheerios, puffs, yogurt drops, lil’ crunchies, ravioli, tofu, eggs, some veggies and fruit cut up as long as they’re soft, sometimes she’ll eat a little bread with butter and/or cheese, small bits of mozzarella cheese, a few small bits of pizza, likes chewing on pizza crust, and a few small bits of pancake). Will she grow out of these mechanical issues? Gagging, spitting out half-chewed food, and even vomiting from gag reflex (last was 2 weeks ago). Really like your site and will consider a consultation if she does not improve more in the next couple months. Thanks!
Hi Jess, well she has some real strengths going for her. She has a decent variety. The gagging and vomiting are red flags. It is hard to say if she will grow out of it, a few kids do. However, it may make it difficult to move on and some of those muscles she’ll need for speaking too. Keep trying! Demonstrate how to chew with a wide opened mouth, so she can see what you are doing. Also give her whole carrots and celery, yes the big long pieces, to mouth on. This will help build up some jaw strength and decrease her gag reflex. You can give these to her before or while you feeding her purees! Of course, I’m here for a consult, but consider getting in touch with your states early intervention program. They should be able to get you some help in your very own home! Let me know if you need more help with this!
So my son who is now 20 mts old was the best eater in the world! And I am talking about eating everything…I used to think sometimes that he is eating too much for his little tummy…well those good times are gone ;( couple of months ago he just stop eating…all of the sudden he refuses to eat everything and anything …I am having a hard time it is so hard and frustrating …I am going crazy and don’t know what to do! I think that his problem is bad behavior but not sure how to handle it..I need help
Well, it may be one of two things. First, did any event happen, an illness or gagging on food. It might seem like something small, but even a small event like this can trigger a sensitization toward food.
Second, it is likely just the developmental stage your son is in. Around 1 years old their taste buds begin to refine, this can bring out a lot of “picky eating”. Stay consistent, offer foods at regular meals with no snacking in between. Check out my new post, too, so that you have your bases covered there. http://www.yourkidstable.com/2013/05/common-mistakes-parents-make-how-to_20.html
Hi Alisha! Greetings from Lisbon!
So I´m in the same situation as mentioned above. My 18mts old boy would eat this world and the next if we let him, but now that is past. He is still having milk for breakfast, doctor recomendation, the lunch and dinner are now a war zone to say the least. Everyone tells me DO NOT force him to eat, but I just can´t help to force him a bit or else I know that he will have only breakfast milk on him for the day. Our routine is lunch kinda adult meal, with meat, pasta or rice, and veggies, finishing with a spoon of vegetable soup, followed by fuit. Dinner is the same but with fish on the main meal. Yes its a 3 course meal but we only want him to eat a small amount of each. Now that the food war has arrived we are only managing him to eat 3 or 4 bites of his meal, sometimes only half the soup and we are giving the fruit in the morning or afternoon snacks. He is now also rejecting almost all the new things that we give him to try. He refuses! Around here soup is a very important thing but I keep having the feeling that giving him only the soup we are talking the easiest road. Now Im quite lost. Force him? Not force him? Drop the soup? Insist in new things? Let him be when I know that he has eaten so little all day?
Thank you for your time.
Hello! So exciting that you are reading along in Lisbon! First and foremost don’t force feed, I know where you are coming from- I get it, but it is going to get you nowhere fast. Click on basic strategies in the top menu for more on this. Keep the soup, always serve at least one food he likes and keep presenting new foods. There is a ton of info on this blog, also in the menu bar is an article index, look at the Picky Eater articles particularly How to Expand their Variety and Getting Your Picky Eater to Explore New Foods. Right now just get him comfortable having the new foods. Keep things as positive as possible. Also, I am available for consults which we could do through skype, facetime or email if you want some more specifics- more on that in the tip menu bar, too! Hope this gets you going in the right direction- let me know if I can help more!
Hi, how is your son now, is he still picky eater.
Hi, thanks so much for asking, he is is 4 now and doing really well. He has drastically improved how many foods he eats, but still has some preferences. I’m very happy with his variety.
I’ve noticed that many parenting magazines fall short in the area of picky eating. There is a difference between your everyday picky eater and a child with food aversions which can stem from sensory disorders, autism, medical problems at birth/infancy. My son battles severe picky eating (see http://www.foodaversions.blogspot.com) When I read an article that just doesn’t get it I just assume they are speaking to the average run of the mill picky eater. Likely the writer has had zero experience with families of those with severe picky eating issues. Yeah for everyone who wrote a letter helping them to see the light. There should be some sort of disclaimer on the article stating to whom it is geared towards. Severe picky eating is a real issue that is highly discouraging for the parents especially those without resources.
Yes- you are very right! I have been meaning to write a post for some time on picky eaters vs. problem feeders, the latter being what you experienced with your son. Most of the advice I give really applies to both scenarios and when it doesn’t I do try to highlight that. I think there should be a disclaimer, too- most people don’t realize just how severe feeding problems can be.
Great post. After being tube fed from birth until 21 months my little girl has got rid of her tube at last although still has prescribed milk fom a baby bottle a few year on as although she does well with food it is a limited variety and volume.
People who said she would eat when hungry and should withhold the bottle and insist a cup or nothing irritate me. She has never known hungry with continuous feeds and has progressed very well in a year.
That is wonderful news- I know that achievement comes with a lot of work! Unfortunately, most people don’t understand. Keep up the good work and try to tune out other’s opinions.
My 7 years old daughter doesn’t like to eat anything. I make many things for her, she show her interest to eat but she doesn’t. She even doesn’t take her breakfast. After many hours even she doesn’t feel like eating anything.
Physically she is perfect and active too. She keeps playing and running around the house but again she doesn’t get hungry. First I used to ask her if she wants to eat something but now I left asking because she never says she wants to eat something. Without asking I give her food but she doesn’t eat. I am so worried about her. I visited a doctor also they have given some energy and nutrition syrups. But nothings works. I am so helpless what to do now.
Hey!
I’d start with our free workshop first it will walk you through setting up a no pressure environment. This will be really helpful in moving forward. Also, making sure you are serving her preferred foods. You can have her provide some input into what she may like on the menu for the week as well! You can save your seat for the workshop here
Best,
Desiree
Great post. After being tube fed from birth until 21 months my little girl has got rid of her tube at last although still has prescribed milk fom a baby bottle a few year on as although she does well with food it is a limited variety and volume.
People who said she would eat when hungry and should withhold the bottle and insist a cup or nothing irritate me. She has never known hungry with continuous feeds and has progressed very well in a year.
Your post made me cry. I cannot thank you enough! My son is nearly 3 years old and has spent most of his life in daily therapy for oral aversion and oral hypotonia. The result was a combination of medical and sensory issues and ongoing months of not eating cause behavioral issues that had to be overcame. It is exhausting and disappointing to read an abundance of articles in parenting books, magazines, and blogs that say “He’ll eat when he’s hungry”. Not my child. Thank you for writing the truth behind the issues that our children may face with food.
Thank you so much for bringing up “they will eat when they want to”. That is a total myth and research proves it. Most kids will eat, eventually- but not all of them. Hence why some kids end up on a feeding tube! I should have commented on that in the post!
Good luck with your son and I hope you kind find some support and new strategies here 🙂
hi
my daughter is nearly 1 year ,she start good with solid food but now she start teething and that affect her daily table food she lost here appetite at all yes I know its due of teething but I can not believe how she can spent all the day without eating anything except breastfeed (4 times per day)
I need help plzzz
Breast feed 2X a day and give a cup 2X a day. Teething can decrease desire to eat. Offer food she likes, soft like oatmeal, ice cream, etc.
Can some one tell me why my 5 year old boy has not eaten anything for over 5 days now? We have been giving him pediasure just to make sure he is getting some kind of protein in him but we can’t do that for much longer, n we haven’t been giving a reason from a doctor or no one to why is will not eat. He says he isn’t hungry but he drinks down them pediasures one after another do he had to be hungry. He won’t even eat his favorite foods that he usually eats everyday. If anyone has any good info, it would be greatly appreciated if they could please respond back. Thank you.
It sounds like he is game playing and your anxiety feeds it. As you point out “he had to be hungry”. Was he ill before this,is he constipated, is he competing against a sibling for attention,any problems in school. Offer regular food that he likes, don’t worry if he doesn’t eat it and offer the Protein drink (which is very filling), 2 X a day for 2 days and 1 X a day for 2 days and then none.
Hey JoaAnn, I have the exactly same situation with my son- 3.5years. he is an active child but for the past few months refuses to eat almost anything in this world stating he is not hungry. but he actually is and demands milk all the time which he is able to finish. I have spoken with a medical practitioner and she says is could be due to slack liver – reason being he falls sick too often and has to b given antibiotics to recover. it is a vicious circle. I am hoping things improve slowly. Good luck to you too.
Thanks so much sharing, I have to admit I’m not familiar with that. Stop back and give us an update. Best to you!
I know this is an old post but was there anything that helped? I’m going through the exact same thing with my five year old. She hasn’t eaten any solids in a week. Just pediasure.
Does your child normally have eating difficulties or did this come out of the blue? IF it is the latter, have you talked to the doctor? If it is following an illness, it can take a few weeks to get back on track. Keep offering regular meals and stick to a routine even if she doesn’t eat. Keep it positive and don’t force or pressure.
I had similar problem with my baby
please log in to babycareadvice and take help from Rowena Bennet
her consultaion helped me a lot.
Believe me i had lost hope.i had given up.i spent months crying.visits to pediatricians were useless n one day i came across their website and the testimonials written by otger parents about their children and how Rowena helped them get out of the feeding aversion completely changed our life.i am so happy i consulted her..
I had similar problem with my baby
please log in to babycareadvice and take help from Rowena Bennet.you have to desensitize him to food.and i would recommend that u stop giving her pediasure and offer food with at leat 4-5hrs gap and do not force her and offer only twice and if he refuses try after 4hrs.do not give pediasure in between meals even if he hasnt taken anything.
rowena’s consultaion helped me a lot.but every child is different
Believe me i had lost hope.i had given up.i spent months crying.visits to pediatricians were useless n one day i came across their website and the testimonials written by otger parents about their children and how Rowena helped them get out of the feeding aversion completely changed our life.i am so happy i consulted her..
Hi I’m just reading ur post about ur son you say he’s had daily treatment how is ur son now does he eat. I’m asking because I need help as my 3 year old son has not eaten our food for 2 and a half years and I need help thanks
He does eat quite a lot. He is still picky about some things, but we don’t let it interfere with his or anyone else’s meal. There is a ton of info on here. See the menu bar and click on Article Index then see the first category of picky eater. If you are able also look into private feeding services. I’m available for consults as well.
Hi, I have 3 years old who eats just few things. He is goggling when sees food or someone else eating . How long it will be I don,t know.
Hi my son 8yrs and he is not eating and can you please halp me thank you
Hi Vesela, head up to the menu bar and click start here, follow those steps, until you get each one implemented. They are simple but could take some time. Let me know how it is going once you do that and I’ll give you more direction
Can I ask what you did to get h to eat. I’m going threw the same thing, should I take him to the frs
Thank you so much for putting behavior at the bottom of this list! I recently read an article in Parenting magazine about picky eaters that disturbed me so much, I actually wrote a letter to the editor. One of the statements used was,”picky eaters are made, not born.” My son is 4 and has issues with sensory processing. He is very restrictive about what he will eat. It is a daily battle. I appreciate this post very much!
Oh my that is disturbing! I usually love how Parents handles eating advice. I am looking into this and am going to write a letter, too! Thank you for your comment and hang in there. Keep up all the hard work you are putting in!
halmathama123@yahoo.com
hello .i want ask about my child.my daughter doesnt like food .the doctore saw her for 3 time but not change her
If you feel in your gut that something more is going on like I talked about in this post you might want to get a second opinion. You could also look into feeding therapy- see the link in the post.
I know this thread is old but hopefully I can get some help on what to do. My 9 year old son choked on cheese from a quesadilla around june 10-11 (I can’t remember the exact day that it happened ed). He got really scared. After that he was eating fine. Then on Sunday June 14 we bought him and his sister Pizza. For some reason they put too much cheese on it ( I didn’t order it with extra cheese), and it triggered something in him and he started taking off all the cheese and pepperoni off it because he said he was scared to choke. So he ended up eating just bread. Between monday and Wednesday he was still eating his usuals just taking a lot longer and letting his food sit in his mouth for too long because he didn’t want to swallow. Yesterday Thursday he refused to eat solids and only ate gogurt. I usually don’t buy them fast food during weekdays but decided to give it a try and get them McDonalds to see if he would eat. He ordered a burger and was eating on his way home. But come to find he was only chewing it and then spitting it out on the wrapper. He said he wants to eat but is scared to swallow. So since yesterday he hasn’t eaten anything but gogurts. I don’t know what to do. He used to have a faze when he was 2-5 yrs old that he was surviving out of danimals and junk food. He finally grew out of it when he started school. Now I’m more scared for him since he is way older and I don’t think is healthy for him to live off water, juices and gogurt. At this point I’m ok if he wants to eat just chips and cookies but he doesn’t want to eat that either. And COVID has me debating if I should pay his doctor a visit. I feel very concerned and helpless.
Hey Alexandra,
Thanks for reaching out! Sounds like there is a lot of anxiety with him over the eating of foods. I’d focus on trying to find ways to work on treating the anxiety. We do have a post with an expert in anxiety that might be helpful you can read about it HERE
Best,
Desiree
My 2.6 year old baby suddenly refusing to eat meat, fish and egg at all. Previously from 9 months to 2.5 year, she used to have 2 piece meat/fish at lunch and another 2 at dinner. She barely ate rice / other carbohydrate. I was satisfied with this. However , after 2.6 years, upto 3 months , she has not being eating any meat any fish and any type of egg. Only she eats milk, some fruits, nut and snacks (pancake, custard, vegetable fry) etc. That’s all. I am super worried about her meal time that I am losing myself. I can’t figure out what can I serve her at meal time. All she eats snacks and milk and sweet foods. She previously could eat spicy food, now, she can’t even tolerate a little bit of spice (not even chicken fry or pizza)
What should i do?
Hi Shaolin,
I can imagine that your daughter refusing food can make meal time so frustrating! She is definitely within the age range of when picky eating naturally can begin. Try serving her a protein, carbohydrate and fruit/vegetable at every meal and be sure to include at least 1 food that she will almost always eat on the plate as well. Rotating these foods is also helpful! We have a free picky eating course to help you get started. You can save your seat HERE!
Best,
Andrea