In this episode, we’re digging into one of the most important factors for helping extreme picky eaters: they’re struggling because something deeper is getting in the way.
There’s 5 big reasons kids refuse to eat and it’s not because of you’re parenting or that they’re just difficult.
Learn how to identify these signs yourself and how to start looking at your child’s eating through a different lens and why identifying the “why” behind picky eating can completely change your next steps.
If you’ve ever felt frustrated, confused, or wondered why nothing seems to be working, this episode will help you connect some important dots and give you a clearer path forward.
Get a seat in the free picky eating workshop
Constipation strategies article
Key Timestamps
00:00 Welcome and picky eating mission
02:03 Previous episode and workshop recap
09:57 Oral motor skill struggles
11:53 The snowball picky eating
15:50 Physical causes to check
20:35 Anxiety behind food refusal
24:53 Next steps for families
27:34 Gateway food next episode teaser
Read the Transcript
All right, we’re continuing on with our Picky Eating series here on the Connected and Capable podcast. I’m Alisha Grogan, and I am so darn excited, truly, that you are here. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for making the time. I just wanna encourage you that if you know somebody in your life that is struggling with a kiddo that’s a picky eater, whether they’re two or 12, send this their way.
This episode is so important and has been such an important part of our mission in general with our larger company, yourkidstable.com, that Connected and Capable is part of for the entire time since 2012. Because this is the stuff that nobody really tells parents, and this is a game changer. When you understand that your kid isn’t eating to be difficult, but they’re eating because there’s a real… They’re struggling to eat because there’s a real challenge, it changes everything. It changes your capacity to show up for them. It gives you a level of compassion and understanding, and that, we need that.
Oh my gosh, we need that because when you have a kid that’s consistently not eating, it is frustrating. It is hard to keep your cool, and believe me, there have been times that I have failed at that. So, please don’t picture a perfect kitchen here with a mom that has never, like, lost her temper or got upset or said the wrong thing when I’m serving them food. There are times that I’m tired and burnt out and have been really stressed, even though, as the OT in me that spec- specializes in this picky eating, has known and understood better.
But truly, those moments will become so much fewer and far between when you understand what we’re getting into today, which are five reasons that kids don’t eat. Now, I did touch on this in our last episode, which was the first in this series, where I shared more about my son’s personal journey with food, going from a super picky eater to a foodie. So if you missed that, definitely go back and watch.
But most importantly, the best free resource that I can give you is our free picky eating workshop. It’s three keys to turn around picky eating. So make sure that you check that out after this episode. It’s yourkidstable.com/free. That is also in the show notes, and it is going to go into these next steps of, okay, what do I do? What are the actual things that I can do? Because you can make a change wherever you are right now in your life.
These next three things in that workshop, you can start doing, even if you pick just one of them. It’s always about just your next step. Okay? All right, so let’s get into these five reasons. I mentioned this several times in the last episode, the number one reason, and please keep in mind that kids can have several underlying reasons that they’re not eating well, is sensory processing.
Now, I do wanna be clear here, ’cause we also talked in the last episode about how picky eating is more of a spectrum. It’s also this broad, subjective term that a lot of people use. If we are talking about a kid that just doesn’t eat their vegetables, yes, there is a sensory component to this. But for today’s episode, I’m really framing this around very extreme picky eaters. So that would mean your kiddo, if they have less than 20 foods in their diet, and I know some of you listening, your kid has one, two, three, or four foods, they’re definitely in this category of, okay, something else is going on here. This isn’t just, oh, my kid just wants, like, certain types of food.
If your kid is stressed out, melting down, gagging, flipping out when you try to change or present new foods or they, they try to taste a new food, one of these underlying reasons is most likely going on. So we’re really talking about kids that have more of a hard time, whether they are two, three, or four. As I said, my son, gosh, he was even before one, and I’m– one years old, and I knew that there were One of these underlying causes majorly in play, and so that, of course, was sensory.
So let’s talk about what that means. First of all, if you’re listening here, Connected and Capable, you know all of our episodes are around uniquely wired kids, around regulation. And so if you’re listening here and you know, like, “Yeah, my kid is uniquely wired. They are neurodivergent. They have autism. They have ADHD. They have sensory needs in other areas of their life,” it is almost certain that sensory processing is at least one factor for why they are so selective about their foods.
Now, what I mean by that is that when we eat foods, we have to taste a food, we have to smell a food, we have to touch a food, and we have to look at a food. All of that involves our senses, right? That, that is literally four out of our five senses. And you can even argue that you have to hear yourself chewing or eating while you’re doing that, because that can even be bothersome to some people. There is actually a diagnosis called misophonia, where some kids are so bothered by the sound of others or their own chewing. Okay, so this is like a full sensory experience every time we eat.
You might not think of it that way because your sensory system is likely not noticing or it’s having pleasurable experiences. So your sensory system is wired, your brain, your brain is wired in a way that this is, “This tastes good,” “This is pleasurable,” or, “This is neutral.” You know, your brain just isn’t sending off any signal saying, “Whoa, danger, danger, danger.” But if you think about it right now, your brain will send off some signals for danger. There is something in your life you do not like the way it sounds or feels or tastes.
Everyone has that, whether it is nails down a chalkboard, whether it is, you know, listening to somebody tap their pen, that kind of just sends shivers up your spine. Whatever that is, your threshold is likely so much higher. Your, your body’s sending that signal or your brain’s sending that signal to your body, “This is horrible. This feels terrible. This is so uncomfortable.”
Unfortunately, for so many of our uniquely wired kids, as was the case with my son, their brain is sending that signal over something as simple as watermelon or chicken Anything that is different. And so when we see kids gag right as soon as they look at a food, as soon as they taste a food, as soon as they touch a food, this is a huge sign that they have some sensory processing difficulties that are affecting their eating. Now, please hear me, because I do think sometimes people will say to me, “Oh, well, my kid doesn’t have sensory issues in any other area of their life.” Sometimes it is really focused just on the eating.
Now, often as we start to work together, they do end up realizing, “I didn’t know that other weird thing that they did was sensory,” and it is not related to food. That is very possible. But it’s also very possible that, and more likely, that you’re seeing other signs that your kid has sensory challenges in their life, but not, but as well with their food, and it might not be other sensitivities. So, that was the case with my son.
Interestingly, he did hate touching some types of messy textures, so that was something we worked on because I knew that he needed to be able to tolerate getting messy so that he felt comfortable enough to touch foods. If he couldn’t touch the food, he wasn’t gonna be able to taste the food. And so we started with just a lot of play there to help with the sensory component of it. And yes, this is very appropriate for even kids, I will do this even with 10 and 12-year-olds. It just looks a little bit different in how you’re presenting it with them.
But my child’s other sensory signs were kind of the opposite. He was a wild child. He was jumping nonstop, crashing into things, running. And so it was subtle. If I wasn’t an OT, I would not have fully realized, “Oh, he’s-” He’s also having sensory needs in these other areas of his life, especially because it wasn’t a sensitivity as like, “I can’t stand getting messy,” or, “I don’t wanna get dressed,” which are often commonly linked to picky eating, because they all go back to the same sense, that tactile sense, our sense of touch, might be wired to be overly sensitive in your child.
So your child’s brain is just sending off signals like, “That’s too intense. That’s too much. That feels disgusting.” That may happen with food, that may happen with clothes, that may happen with crafts and paint and different things that they’re doing. But it’s also not unusual to see it compartmentalized into certain ar- like specific areas, like just with food. So that’s number one. If you’re seeing those signs with your kiddo, not wanting to touch, taste, look at food, or gagging, shuddering, and even sometimes throwing up, huge signs that, hey, sensory processing is one of the factors underneath.
The second underlying reason that sometimes kids are very picky eaters is because of their oral motor skills. Yeah, I know, that’s, that’s like therapy’s talk. But that is referring to all of the muscles in and around the mouth that are required for eating. So those muscles need to coordinate where the food goes and how it moves around. They need to be strong enough to chew and to swallow.
And so if there’s any part of that that is kinda tricky or hard, kids may be very selective about the types of food that they’re eating. Like, they’re just not gonna eat that piece of meat because it’s just too darn hard to chew. Kids with oral motor challenges, you may see eating very soft foods. There are occasions where they will eat harder foods because they can feel them better and move them around easier in their mouth. They’re not as slippery and slimy. So sometimes they will go for crunchy foods.
Oral motor, you will also see kids maybe drooling a lot, food falls out of their mouth. If it’s only oral motor, because sometimes it’s sensory, and oral motor is underlying causes, but if it’s only oral motor, kids at an early age usually aren’t very stressed about it. It’s just like, “I don’t really know what to do with this. I’ll hold it in my mouth forever because I can’t even get it out. Like, I can’t use my tongue to get it out. I don’t have that coordination or strength.” Or they may pull their fingers into their mouth and pull food out from a young age.
So even if you have a child that’s older now and they’re still not eating well, but you can look back and say, “Oh my gosh, yeah, they did that when they were one, two, and three years old,” that’s an indicator that there might be some oral motor stuff going on, or that they never really learned how to move the food around well in their mouth. So they start to get really selective about what they’re willing to put in there. What’s easier to eat? What can I move around well in my mouth?
That takes us to the third underlying cause, and this one I have dubbed the snowball effect. Now, this is different than what my child experienced. For those of you that listened to last episode, I talked about how my son, from just pretty much right out of the gate, as soon as he started eating, there were just huge signs there was sensory stuff going on. For kids that have this underlying snowball effect, and we’ve had many students in our picky eating program have this as an underlying cause, their kiddos start off at a regular eating pattern.
They’re eating well as babies. They eat well at their first birthday, and then sometime, usually between the time they’re one and two, although sometimes it’s a little bit later, they start to get picky. And it starts off slow at first. You know, it’s, “I don’t want that,” or there are certain foods that they don’t want, and parents understandably get kind of freaked out about that. And so they may cater to the child a little bit more, give it a little bit more attention. “Oh my gosh, I just need them to eat.
If they’re gonna eat those chicken nuggets, I’m just gonna keep making the chicken nuggets, and I’ll feel better that they eat.” And then at some point, there’s this sinking feeling that, oh my gosh, they will not eat anything other than these chicken nuggets now. That’s the snowball effect. It builds over time. It starts, they usually start off as good eaters, and then the picky eating begins at some time in the toddler or early preschooler years When kids get pushed to a point, like if over time they have narrowed their eating so much, it can be hard for them to come out of that.
Typically, we see the average picky eating range go from around one and a half to three and a half to five years old, meaning that it’s in that window of time that most kids get a little bit more selective, and there’s a bunch of stuff happening here developmentally. First of all, their taste buds become more enhanced, right? They’re, they weren’t tasting as much as babies, quite literally, and so their taste buds further develop and they taste them more clearly. Also, toddlers have an intensity for bitter-tasting foods. Guess what’s bitter? Vegetables.
And that is like a evolutionary byproduct, because they have this super tasting for bitter because it was a protective mechanism that they would not eat random things in the wild and potentially die and get sick. So, toddlers are particularly sensitive to vegetables, and the way that they taste. They taste super intense to them. So, that is why we see so many toddlers and preschoolers pulling away from the intense taste that they’re experiencing when they eat a piece of broccoli or cauliflower or zucchini or whatever that is, the vegetable that is in front of them.
However, if we stay the course, if we follow the five steps that we talked about in the last episode, particularly step number one in creating that no-pressure environment and step number two, sticking with our routine and, and really trying to be intentional about those things, if a child enters that natural picky eating phase, they will come out of it. What’s interesting is that depending on which study you read, there are re- some studies report that as much as 50 to 60% of kids are picky eaters.
So again, a lot of this is self-reported, but this shows us that most kids are going through at least some type of average picky eating phase. It is obviously a smaller percentage of kids that are such severe picky eaters that it is causing major distress and turmoil around meals If your child is in the snowball effect, key things that you will know that they are was that they were a good eater, and then you saw it start slow and it got bigger over time
That brings us to our fourth underlying cause, which is physical. This one is the trickiest, and it will involve getting your doctor on board, and I normally suggest that you should kind of rule out the other three that we had just talked about first, and consider then if there’s truly no other underlying cause to this, is there something physical that may be stopping them from eating? And the challenge here is that you can’t always tell.
While there are some signs for some challenges, like reflux, sometimes kids have silent reflux, and it’s coming halfway up their throat and going back down without us knowing, but it’s creating a lot of discomfort. So your child might be s- intuitively selective about what they’re eating because they kinda have this instinctive sense of what’s gonna hurt and what’s not gonna hurt. They’re probably not able to articulate that.
And if your child is seven or eight years old and have always had reflux, or have had it significantly at times and then it’s gone away, their brain might be really trying to protect them from that. But they are, even at seven or eight years old, not probably realizing that this isn’t normal, because it may be something that they’ve always experienced.
Constipation is another major physical challenge that’s very common, and that one you would know about, right? So if your child is experiencing frequent constipation in that they are not regularly having a bowel movement every day, at the most every other day, but again, the goal really is every day, it is very common to see major fluctuations in their eating. So keep in mind that if you have a couple of meals that go really well, and then you have a couple of days that go really bad, this may be linked to that constipation.
If there’s nowhere for the food to go because a child is constipated, their appetite is going to shut down, all right? So it’s important to get the constipation managed. There’s lots of ways to do that. I will link up our constipation blog post in the show notes, because we have a lot of healthy, natural strategies on how to help kids or at least point you to what to be asking, what questions to look for, what questions to ask with your doctor if your child is struggling with constipation.
There are other physical challenges, though, besides reflux and constipation, although those are the most common. It becomes far less common to have other challenges, like sometimes kids have physical abnormalities in their mouth. They may have super enlarged tonsils. I saw a kid that had an odd flap of skin at the top. There was just, like, an extra fold in his esophagus that made it really hard for him to swallow
Some kids have a diagnosis called EOE, which is a narrowing of the esophagus. And that EOE has some clear signs, and we’ve had a couple of kiddos in our picky eating program that actually found out after taking our program that they had it. And those, some of those telltale signs are if your child is dipping their food in liquids and then trying to swallow it, that’s a sign, you know, their, their passage has narrowed so much they’re just trying to get it down.
Or they may take a bite of food, but they won’t take anything else. Again, a sensory kiddo would never do that because it’s so disgusting, they couldn’t even get a bite down. It’s, it’s way more telling that there’s something physical going on when a child is trying to eat and you see some problems with, swallowing or you see a child wincing. And again, sometimes there are no signs, and they have no real way of articulating, even again in elementary age years, what’s really going on here.
And so in that case, that’s definitely worth seeing a pediatrician at a minimum, and if not, and most likely needing to see a pediatric gastroenterologist and really advocating for what you’re seeing in your kid when you feel like, “Oh my gosh, we’ve looked at every other angle of this and nothing, nothing is really making sense.” And then our last underlying cause, and this is the one that I get probably, the most questions about, is anxiety. Because here’s the thing, with all of the underlying causes that we just talked about, sensory, oral motor, that snowball effect, physical sym- physical symptoms and challenges
When eating is hard, it becomes a negative experience for a lot of kids, and that makes their fight or flight cen- center turn on. That likely is re- you know, shooting cortisol into their system and making them feel really anxious around food. So it’s very common to see that your child has an anxiety component along with sensory needs, along with trying to chew and swallow, or these underlying physical causes that you might be unaware of.
So know that that is often a component of it, and as we address these underlying causes, kids start to feel comfortable eating, and that anxiety naturally goes down over time. Now, if a child is older, some of those anxiety kind of pathways in the brain that have developed as a way of protection because the brain has been like, “You know what? I’m not doing that. It’s really uncomfortable. It feels really awful.” The brain is trying to protect again, and again, and again, and by the time a child is a preteen or teen, a lot of those negative thoughts around food are very prevalent.
And so if you are noticing, “Gosh, my kid is just so negative about food. They seem so upset.” A- as preteens and teens, we tend to see that decrease in kind of the meltdowns or tantrums or upsets, and we see more argumentative pushback, shutdown, and that is really a sign that, “Hey, my anxiety is up, and you’re not really getting, like, why this is, is troub- is hard for me.” And unfortunately, the brain is growing and developing.
It has now been in this protective mode around food for years, and so those anxiety thoughts can become very strong, and they can be very strong loops and circuits in a child’s brain that really are becoming a major reason that they’re struggling with eating food. And so it’s important to consider how big of a role anxiety is playing. Again, for younger kids, you often can go and just focus on the underlying cause, and I would say 10 and under for a lot of kids.
Sometimes eight, nine, 10 years old, we have to do some anxiety kind of work around that as well. However, there are times that kids are not eating because anxiety and anxiety alone. These kiddos tend to have anxiety in other areas of their life. They don’t have any of these other underlying causes. They may have been good eat- like a very good eater for years, and when you saw their general anxiety or OCD get worse, it translated now into their eating as well.
Because again, when the brain is pushed to a point where it is in fight or flight, even again, this has nothing to do with food, it’s on high alert all of the time. And so it will start to control all aspects. Anxiety will try to control all aspects of the life that your child is lead- leading because it’s in protective mode. And so when kids are struggling with solely anxiety, we will see them kind of focus on things like contamination of food.
What if this makes me sick? What if this makes me throw up? Even if they don’t have a history of that, there is a A rumination that is happening that is related more to anxiety. All right? So that is something to watch out for. But again, we typically only… we typically see that in isolation of the other underlying causes. Okay, so now what? I know, you might be having to start to think, like, “Gosh, I think that might be one of the reasons,” or, “That might be an underlying cause.” What is, what is the next step?
Well, even once you’ve identified these underlying causes, it is so important that we get started with those foundational steps. Remember, that’s setting the no-pressure environment. That’s creating a routine around meals with having regular mealtimes, trying to have at least one meal a day where you’re eating together. That’s also working towards having your kid have just a small amount of a new food on their plate or near their plate. So often we’re working towards that.
For some kids, our goal is just starting with them tolerating food in the room, them tolerating a different food on the table, them tolerating, pea on their plate. And I love divided plates for that because picky eaters are often worried about their food touching, and that is different than contamination anxiety. Contamination anxiety is more that this is ruined, it’s gonna make me ill, it’s going to, it’s going to make me sick. There’s this kind of irrational fear.
There’s a very practical fear for many picky eaters that, “Hey, if you put that pea on my plate and it touches my chicken nugget, it might taste different, and I am not okay with that, so don’t you dare put that pea next to my plate, or next to my chicken.” And so that is a very practical type of fear, and that’s why the divided plate come in handy. And yes, I even use these with older kids. There’s adult plates. Fiestaware carries adult divided plates, which I love, and we even still, we still use with our kids on occasion just ’cause it’s functionally easy depending on , what we’re eating.
So I want you to get started with these first two steps, but it’s very important to know and have an awareness that, hey, there might be some more going on here that’s underneath the surface. So what can you do practically next? I want you to take the Picky Eating Workshop. If you are looking for more steps, this is the place to go so that you can get our free workshop guide. You can start instilling this no-pressure environment, which may take some time. Remember, this is just about the next step.
We are going to dive deeper into our third and final episode of this special picky eating series. Of course, we will be addressing picky eating here again, but I really wanted to to get foundational episodes in place here. In the next episode, we are gonna be talking about a special recipe and why it’s so effective for so many picky eaters. It is what I call a gateway food, and I’m excited to walk you through that recipe, how you can make it, and why you should make it soon, besides the fact that it’s super delicious and is likely to be something that even your extreme or most super-duper picky eater will eat.
All right, you guys. If you wanna get that workshop, head to yourkidstable.com/free or check it out in the show notes. As always, we love to hear from you, so please let us know, if this episode was helpful. Leave a comment if you’re on YouTube or Spotify. Leave us a review. We are so excited to hear from you, and your ideas. If you wanna hear from a new episode coming up, we’re always taking suggestions. All right, talk soon.
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Feel like you’re banging your head against the wall trying to figure out why your child won’t eat anything or refuses to eat at all? There are real reasons and ways you can help picky eater kids. Learn how from a feeding expert and mom.
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As an occupational therapist, parents ask me all the time “Why does my child refuse to eat anything?”
It’s frustrating when you try to serve new foods, or worse, when you serve something they’ve eaten before, like their beloved chicken nuggets or peanut butter crackers, and they refuse to eat!
Most kids will do this occasionally, but some kids are refusing to eat on a regular basis.
What’s going on with kids that almost never seem to eat?
Or, will only eat if you feed them?
Or, the child that won’t eat and is losing weight?
As a parent, it’s scary, confusing, and stressful. You may wonder if you’re just dealing with a picky eater’s preferences that are like shifting sands.
It’s often much more than picky eating – more on that in a minute.
“My 2/3/4+ year old won’t eat anything” – Where to Start
To help kids that are refusing food, we have to start with figuring out WHY they aren’t eating, because consistent food refusal is not a typical part of development.
In fact, when a kid is repeatedly not eating with or without weight loss, it’s a BIG red flag that something more is going on.
It’s time to put on your detective hat and get to the root of the problem so that you have the tools to help your child eat more food, and avoid power struggles at family meals.
5 Reasons Why a Child Refuses to Eat Anything
The truth is that there are A LOT of reasons why kids refuse to eat food. In my experience, as a occupational therapist with a specialized feeding background, I believe that most can be organized into 5 different reasons.
However, we have to be clear that when a child is regularly refusing to eat very little of any food or has only a few favorite foods that they are willing to eat, they may qualify for a diagnosis of Pediatric Feeding Disorder (PFD), which was just added as a diagnosable code in October of 2021.
Another option is Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, however this is closely linked to anxiety. See more in number 5 below for more info!
This is a good thing because children that are struggling to eat have often been described as picky eaters, which isn’t an adequate definition and leaves kids not getting the help they need.
As you read through the list below, look for signs you’ve seen in your child as a possible explanation. It’s very possible that several of the the underlying difficulties below are present in a child that often won’t eat.
Keeping that in mind, let me explain in some more detail.
#1. Physical or Medical Issues
Although this may seem like the most obvious reason kids don’t eat, it is often the most overlooked, or isn’t explored thoroughly. When kids have a well documented medical condition or are visibly sick, it is obvious that their eating is affected.
But, sometimes there are more subtle signs that are incredibly easy to miss. Two of the biggest culprits are silent acid reflux and constipation. Both of these very common problems for kids can put a halt to eating.
Although acid reflux is common in babies, it can also have an impact on kids much older, even if they weren’t diagnosed as an infant.
Unfortunately, many times it’s because kids don’t complain that their stomach is hurting. Many of them don’t even realize it because they have felt that way for so long OR they are too young to put into words how they are feeling.
Read more about acid reflux in children and to find a few natural remedies.
My older son has struggled with constipation since he was about one year old. I have to carefully watch his fiber intake and when he starts to get a little backed up, his eating is greatly affected.
Every time he doesn’t eat well, I have to ask myself, “Does he need to go to the bathroom?” The answer is usually, yes! Managing your child’s constipation can be a huge game changer in helping them eat new foods.
Read more about severe constipation in children and natural remedies to fix it.
If your child’s refusal to eat is more of a phase, you may want to consider teething, not feeling well, or fatigue as possible reasons for not eating.
And sometimes, if your child is chronically sick or tired, then food refusal or picky eating may become a way of life for them.
I strongly encourage you to see a pediatric GI doctor if your child has any physical symptoms, or if you’ve ruled out the other causes listed here because there could be other possible digestive difficulties. There are many other, although less common possibilities such as:
- Food allergies (3-5% of kids)
- Food sensitivities
- Eosinophilic esophagitis (EoE)
- Delayed stomach emptying
- Physical abnormalities in the throat, mouth, or gut
- Tongue, lip, or cheek ties
Some signs that your child may have any of the above medical issues are:
- Eating only small portions
- Difficulty swallowing dry or rough textures
- Dropping a food they used to like such as milk, yogurt, or eggs
- Only wanting liquids and not solid food
- Holding chewed food in their cheeks (pocketing food)
However, each of those signs can have multiple explanations! That’s why that detective hat is important!
It’s a good idea to discuss it further with your doc!
#2. Sensory Processing Causing Food Refusal
For many picky eaters, sensory processing plays a big role in their refusal to eat foods. Simply put, if something feels gross in their mouth or on their hands, they aren’t going to eat it.
The fancy therapeutic term we give for when a child doesn’t want to touch different textures is tactile defensive. And, when they don’t like certain textures in their mouth, or chew/bite/lick everything else but food, it is a sign that their oral sensory system needs some help.
Clues that your child may be refusing foods because of sensory input are: gagging, squirming, or seeming frightened by the sight, smell, touch, or taste of a particular food.
Often, the first signs appear when parents try to feed babies baby or table foods. Sometimes, these reactions start as the taste buds become more developed between 1-2 years old.
And, other times, older kids can develop texture and taste sensitivities that weren’t there when they were younger!
Extreme Sensitivity and Fear of Anything in or Near the Mouth: Oral Aversion
Oral aversion also fits into this category.
If your child has had medical testing, feeding tubes, severe vomiting, or a physical incident in or around their mouth/throat (even from a infancy), they may be scared to have anything come toward their mouth and be overly sensitive in the area.
On the other end of the sensory spectrum, a child may not be able to discriminate food in their mouth well and they will unsafely stuff a large amount of food into their cheeks like a chipmunk.
This helps give them some feedback as to where the food actually is. These kids lose track of the food easily and can’t chew it well. Soft foods that aren’t easily discriminated (think mashed potatoes, cheese, etc.) are usually refused because they can’t manipulate them well in their mouth.
Sensory is often the hidden link in picky eating and food refusal, and while a lot of parents haven’t heard of it before, it’s critical to address it so that your child can learn to eat a variety of nutritious foods at meal times with the rest of the family.
If you can understand why your child is refusing food from a sensory perspective, well, it changes everything. To understand the connection better, read sensory processing and picky eating.
What May Be Causing Chronic Poor Appetite: Interoception
While frequent snack times and drinking milk throughout the day can spoil a child’s appetite for the next meal, some kids never seem to feel hungry or understand what fullness is.
This is related to one of the hidden senses called interoception. Basically, a child with poor interoception isn’t recognizing signs from their stomach that it’s time to eat or to keep eating until they feel full.
It’s like they’re lost in translation. The good news is there’s a way to improve this appetite awareness! Learn more in our interoception article.
3. Oral-Motor Skills
We take it for granted, but chewing is a coordinated skill just like walking, talking, and learning to read. It doesn’t come easy for all kids. Therapists call the ability to bite chew, and swallow, oral-motor skills.
Signs that your child may not be chewing well are:
- Choking/gagging after the food is already in their mouth for a few seconds/minutes
- Pocketing food (holding it in their mouth)
- Wants to eat soft or pureed foods
- Spitting out half chewed food
- Food falls out of mouth accidentally
- Can’t remove food or crumbs from lips or corners of mouth with their tongue or lips
- Throwing up food that looks like it has hardly been chewed
- History of difficulty breastfeeding
Often, these signs are apparent in young children because they have a hard time learning to eat table foods or even pureed foods. While kids with any of the underlying causes listed could have a difficult time with weight, kids with poor oral motor skills get tired and frustrated.
They give up on eating quickly and may not get on a growth curve.
Some kids will start refusing to eat foods because they don’t know how to chew it or they are scared they are going to gag/choke/throw up again on the food they literally don’t know how to eat.
This can continue into the teen years, although when left untreated, kids may figure out some workarounds.
But, it’s not uncommon for a 12 year old’s refusal to eat to be linked in some way to oral motor skills. Head over to Oral Motor Exercises to learn more about how to help your child improve their oral motor skills.
Sometimes, oral motor difficulties snowball to include sensory defensiveness too, because when a child hasn’t eaten any other textures in a really long time or ever, they become very sensitive to them.
These other textures may seem strange and even uncomfortable when they touch or feel them.
If your child never transitioned well to crunchy table foods, then you’ll want to check out How to Transition to Finger Foods
4. Routine, the Typical Picky Eating Phase, and the Snowball Effect
I strongly believe that structure and routine around food and meal time is critical to kids eating well.
Because for some kids with average picky eating, changes to the meal time routine can help your child reduce “junk food”, come to the dinner table easily, and eat more of what we often consider “healthy” meals.
There are some kids that will manage to eat well with a lack of routine, but by and large, most kids’ eating habits will suffer greatly without a regular routine.
Without a routine, kids can slide into eating a separate meal away from the rest of the family and may not eat much food when they eat alone.
If you don’t have regular meal times, pay attention to how frequently your child is eating. Do you eat in front of the TV often, and/or mostly let your kids pick what they want to eat?
If they don’t have a wide variety of foods, only want snack foods, or aren’t willing to try foods, lack of routine may be the reason for it… or at least part of it.
I commonly see this compounded on top of one of the other 4 reasons kids don’t eat. When there is a problem with eating, we get overwhelmed and start grasping at straws just to get them to eat.
This is another way the bad habits can begin and then play a role in food refusal.
That’s not to say that you’re to blame, I mean our kids have to eat, right? And, we do the best we can with what we know. Don’t feel guilty about choices you’ve made in desperate situations.
I promise you that even with the pickiest eaters, there is a way out of eating in front of an iPad or them having their own separate meals. It is one step at a time and I’ll show you how in my tips below.
Although many kids that rely on a screen to eat often get to that point because eating is difficult because of oral motor, sensory, or medical issues.
The Typical Picky Eating Phase
One other common factor is that some children start off as good eaters, and then between 1-2 years of age, eating starts to go awry. Annoying, upsetting.. yes!
Like it or not though, it is NORMAL for toddlers to go through a picky eating stage as their taste buds mature and they begin to want to exert some control into their lives. Parents, sometimes, get scared when their child that had healthy eating habits is now not eating as well, and will begin to throw routine and structure out the window.
The Snowball Effect
With parents just wanting their kids to eat anything or at least some healthy snacks, short order cooking is ushered in, among numerous and otherwise well-meaning, but sabotaging techniques, and parents are left with a bona fide picky eater months or years later.
Although the intention was in the right place, the lack of routine can lead to long term eating refusal and difficulties.
I call it the snowball effect because the eating difficulties started off small and grew with momentum over time, just like a snowball rolling down a big hill!
To make sure you have a solid routine, grab our free Picky Eating Toolkit printable, it includes 9 important steps to improve eating and 25+ food ideas for picky eaters.
5. Anxiety
Most parents I talk to with kids over 5 think that anxiety is the main factor for kids that refuse to eat, and it is often a component. Kids that have a hard time chewing, get stomach aches or worse when eating, or can’t stand the texture of so many foods are scared to put new or different foods in their mouth.
Eating has often not been enjoyable and filled with negative experiences, so yes they are scared. They are anxious.
But, I don’t consider anxiety the main underlying cause unless it goes into clinical psychological anxiety. In which case, kids will often make the following types of statements:
- I’m scared to eat the spaghetti I might choke
- I really want to eat that, but it might be contaminated with germs
- What if there’s poison in the pizza? I just can’t eat it
With clinical food related anxiety, kids often become irrational. And, they often have clinical anxiety in other areas of their life.
This is different than a child saying, “I’m scared that food is going to feel slimy like the avocado”. That is a sensory based fear and is treated differently.
If a child has clinical anxiety and NO OTHER underlying causes that have impacted their eating and are typically over 5 years old, they may qualify for an Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder diagnosis (ARFID), however I see this diagnosis frequently mis-diagnosed when PFD is more appropriate.
If you aren’t sure, get a few opinions and please feel free to leave us a comment below, we answer every one!
What if My Child is Refusing to Eat Because They’re “Being Bad?”
A lot of people advise parents that kids are being “bad” or that the reason they are refusing to eat is behavior-based. Although behavior plays a role, it is actually a small percentage of kids that actually refuse to eat based solely on behavior.
In fact, with the hundreds of families I’ve treated and the thousands I’ve taught in our online picky programs, I’ve never seen one kid’s picky eating that can be solely explained by behavior.
Now, please don’t mistake me, even the youngest of kids will learn quickly what they need to say or cry or throw to get what food they want.
All kids go through different stages of development when they are testing boundaries and you can bet they will test it at meal times, too. After all, this is one of the few areas where they actually have some control. But, these kinds of little phases are short lived and aren’t severe.
For kids that have a history of being picky eaters, behavior is a piece of the puzzle, but typically, it has evolved from one of the legitimate reasons listed above.
And, when you address the underlying cause, the behaviors around meals decrease!
What to Do When Your Child Won’t Eat
If you can’ tell yet, here at Your Kid’s Table, picky eating is our thing. We have a lot of resources for parents and therapists working with picky kids.
No matter what combination of reasons are causing your child to be a picky eater, you’ll want to start with not pressuring them during meals while putting a consistent routine in place for them like having regularly scheduled meals with no snacking in between to help them start eating.
Then, focus on specifically addressing the underlying cause, whether that is sensory processing, medical, or oral motor skills.
Once you have a solid routine (grab this free printable to help develop one) and are addressing the underlying cause, you can also use some of my favorite picky eating tips. I love to use dips (even if you think your child hates them, I show you how), fun tools like toothpicks (trust me) and divided plates.
Plus, there are lots of novel ideas like making food fun, and I’m not talking about elaborate food scenes that you spend an hour cutting out.
And, my favorite tip that can make a huge difference is cooking with your kids! I know everyone says that and parents think, “Not my kid”. But, hear me out. I show you how to do it, tell you why it’s important, and give you these recipes designed for picky eaters:
- Pumpkin waffles (added nutrition)
- Bruschetta bar (this seriously is the best dinner for ANY picky eater that likes bread)
- High calorie smoothie
- Homemade chicken nuggets your kid will eat! (my special recipe)
- Not-spicy homemade tacos (check out the very motivating taco truck that can come to the table!)
- Banana sweet potato bread
- Roasted Cauliflower (2 of my kids tried cauliflower for the first time with this recipe)
- Crispy Potato Skins (basic recipe that’s perfect for picky eaters, got one of my kids to eat potatoes with this recipe)
For even more food ideas, head over to healthy snacks for picky eaters and healthy recipes for picky eaters (you’ll find a free printable too!)
If you’ve tried a lot of these tips before and want to dig a little deeper (only use these after you have a routine and positive environment), then you can move on to my heavy hitting picky eating tips. These require a little more thought, but can have a huge impact.
Read about how to get your child to explore new foods and build on what they are already eating with food chaining.
Lastly, to save your sanity, find out how to have just one family meal, even with a picky eater (you can do it!) and how to keep mealtimes positive, even when that seems impossible.
I know you may be tempted to feel overwhelmed at this point, but resist! This page is here (pin it so you can come back). Remember, one step at a time!
Getting More Help for the Child that Refuses to Eat Anything
Having a picky eater, let alone an extreme picky eater or child with PFD, can be extremely overwhelming and paralyzing. I’ve experienced it myself and the worry can take over your life. But, there are a few ways to get help from a professional.
Learn more about feeding therapy for picky eaters, and if it would be a good fit for your child. However, feeding therapy is often just once a week, which is why it’s important to have those strategies you can use at home.
Get Help for Free- Today!
I highly recommend learning proven strategies that you can use everyday to start improving your child’s eating, this is possible no matter how picky they are!
There’s so much bad advice out there, but in my free workshop I teach you exactly what 3 strategies to start working on now. That could make a difference, today.
It’s totally free and you can grab a spot now!
You might need the tips and link shared here again. Save it to Pinterest here!
More Articles for the Child that Refuses to Eat Anything
8 Tips to Keep Your Child Seated at the Table
Fun Plates, Forks, and Other Cool Stuff that Get Kids to Eat
8 Things You Can Do When a Toddler Refuses to Eat
Are Food Jags Affecting Your Picky Eater? What you need to know…
Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 20 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
My granddaughter was born with 2 chromosomes that were each missing half on each one. Needless to say she has been delayed with everything from walking at 18 months old and her first teeth coming in after a year old. Her food is put through a food processor with meat, chicken, potatoes, carrots, pumpkin, etc. and that’s what she eats everyday, she will eat grits and yogurts. She will not try anything new and the fear is that she doesn’t chew,,, she just swallow,,, so putting anything in her mouth like a small piece of scrambled eggs is risky,, she doesn’t try to chew, she gags and gets very upset because she doesn’t want to try anything. She drinks only water and milk. Will not try any juices. We would love for her to start chewing and for her to want to try new foods. Any suggestions?
Thank you
Mayra
Hi Mayra,
So glad you reached out. I think there are a couple ways to approach what is going on. First, it sounds like oral motor skills need to be worked on. Check out these ideas or oral motor activities to help working on this.
Once you check that out, make sure you check out our free picky eating workshop to begin working toward new foods.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team members
My grandson has turned 7 and has had eating issues since he was about 2. He eats Iceland SFC chicken pops or fish fingers for his dinners and also eats french fries, macaroni pasta plain (has to be the right shape), multi grain bread with nothing on it, but if it is toasted and cooled, with butter and Bovril, milk, a little orange juice and one particular smoothie etc. In all he eats around 20-25 different foods but they have to be recognised brands and he WILL NOT try anything else. Because it is a reasonably balanced diet the Dr doesn’t worry about it.
He doesn’t like being near other foods and although he does join in family meals, he would rather move away. If he sees a graze board and is hungry, you can see his eyes light momentarily as he scans it for the one type of biscuit he eats, and if it isn’t there, his face fills with fear and disappointment and he turns away. Even if he likes the smell of something, he won’t try it. He has even told his mum he’d rather die than try other food. If it’s a food he trusts, he eats loads of it, so is quite chunky. He seems to prefer salty food to sweet. If you ask him why he won’t eat, he just says he doesn’t know.
Stress undoubtedly makes things worse and my daughter struggles to get him to keep eating his ‘accepted foods’ as he always seems to have an issue with one of them.
He has had other anxiety issues, although mostly overcome now and can be a bit obsessive -eg kinked on lawnmowers. He used to be such a friendly sunshine kid, but following bullying issues at his school, is becoming more insular. He starts a new school in September which is definitely causing further anxiety. Be glad of any help as it’s not something he seems to be growing out of.
Hi Bridgette,
I wonder if trying a food chain/bridging strategy may be a way to slowly get him to open up to the idea of trying something new. It is minor enough that he isn’t having to take a huge leap to a new food, but instead slowly can decrease the mental rigidity he has surrounding mealtimes.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi. My husband and I very concerned about our 10 yr old son. He will only eat a handful of things. Tacos, ground beef only and nothing else on them. No cheese or lettuce. They have to be homemade or from one specific fast-food place. He will eat one specific brand of chicken nuggets, and pepperoni pizza…if prepared the way he likes it. He will eat strawberries, red grapes (no green grapes) certain brands of apples (without the skin) and watermelon. He will only eat toasted sourdough bread, preferably burnt and strawberry yogurt without the fruit. Bacon and certain types of pancakes. He can tell if I buy another brand or even certain food items from a different store. He likes crackers if they are the right one. One cereal without milk. We have tried everything. Introducing different foods, bribing him… punishing him etc. He has done this for years and it is only getting worse. It is starting to affect him physically and I am sure his health is at risk. Just a little background. We adopted our biological grandson at birth as he was born addicted to heroin. He also has behavioral issues and what I would describe as ODD. I don’t know where to turn or what type of help to look for. Can you steer me in the right direction. Every day is a challenge.
Hi Brenda,
Thank you for reaching out! I can tell you guys are working so hard to help your son, he is so lucky to have you advocating for him. Does he get occupational therapy or feeding therapy? I really think this could help and he should qualify given his medical history. But in the meantime, we have a free picky eater workshop and a paid course if you wish to go further that can really help. Lots of kids who have been in similar shoes as him. But start at the free workshop and let me know where we can go from there.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi! My 9 year old son suddenly won’t eat his favorite of foods. His excuse is he doesn’t feel hungry. However he only wants to eat liquid foods. How can I get him to eat his regular choice of food? Also he is very picky.
Hi Angela, it’s possible he is experiencing a food jag due to becoming burnt out on this preference. You can learn tricks to addressing a food jag here!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hello,
My 13 year old daughter is a fussy eater, likes very plain food nothing with sauces. Dinners are the hardest but some unusual food she likes like Whitebait but the main issue is not eating everything on her plate or she will leave a tiny mouthful at the end and refuse to eat it. Its like she has a fear of it, guarantee every meanl there will be something left on the plate. Any help or ideas on meals please as struggling.
Hi,
Same problem with my 9 year old daughter. She eats only plain rice, 2-3 spoons of plain rice, 1 or 2 times a week. And the bad thing is she likes to eat instant noodles everyday for her meal:-(. She also eats white bread with chocolate spread. That’s it. No vegetables, no meat, no fishes:-(. Hope I can get some help here. It’s really stressful and I feel worried about my daughter.
Hi Hayds,
This can feel really stressful. You want to start maximizing these preferred foods if you can. A great strategy is called bridging or food chaining that you can read about and try.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi Katherine, have you checked out this article on older kids and picky eating? Start there, and I am happy to direct you to another resource that may be a better fit, but this is where I’d start.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi, this is really interesting, thank you!
My 3 year old daughter has enlarged tonsils and is a picky eater. It’s a battle to get her to eat without a screen and often she’ll say she’s full but will then finish the meal if fed. She point blank refuses to eat any fruit or veg unless it’s in a smoothie or fruit pouch, as a baby she really struggled with weaning and frequently vomited. She used to pocket food at every meal but this has become less frequent lately. I worry all the time about her not getting enough nutrition, she often says that she is hungry but then refuses to eat or eats very little and I’m really concerned – where do I start? She has an appointment for ENT investigation but not until December. How can I best support her in the meantime please?
Hi Sophie,
ENT is a great move, and there are a few directions to go here. If you haven’t already, start with our free picky eating workshop which goes over the 3 strategies we use to address picky eating. It can feel like distracting and getting her to eat is the way to go but this can actually backfire long term. Once you watch that, I am happy to direct you to a more specific resource, but this is a good start!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi! My husband and I are just about at our wit’s end with our 3.5 year old son. When he was 18 mo old he quit eating on vacation. It’s been 2 years and we cannot get him to try foods. Previously he ate just about everything we gave him. Two years later, we always offer food at mealtime. He will only eat bread (has to be a bun) and yogurt. Otherwise, he will eat any kind of chips or cookies. In a restaurant, he will nibble on a chicken finger and french fries. We have been giving him Carnation Breakfast chocolate milk each evening just to get some vitamins in him. I have taken your webinar about helping kids eat, that’s where I got the idea to offer food and always have something he will eat available. He does ask for foods, but if given he tastes it and says yucky. He says he likes watermelon, but he eats one nibble and done. Any help for this child? Thank you.
Hi Heather. It can feel so frustrating when your child stops eating variety and has such a small number of foods they’ll eat. Great work implementing some strategies like offering foods at every meal, including one food he likes. Have you tried branching off from his preferred foods, aka food chaining? Read this article and see if it helps. I know you said you already did the webinar, but we do have a paid course as well if you feel like you need continued support. Check out this artcile first though and let us know what you think.
Best,
Laura, Your Kid’s Table team member
My son is 11 he does not feed himself and only eats chicken nuggets. My ex wife and I got a divorce and this being one of the reasons. He will refuse to eat. He goes all day in school without eating. I don’t know what to do. He has worked with therapist when he was younger but it didn’t help.
Hey Scott,
We can understand how hard it is, and so sorry to hear that it’s taking a toll on your family! At 11, it’s not to late to start working on picky eating. We do have a lot of resources, and if you haven’t seen yet, I’d start with our free workshop for picky eating. You can click to save your seat. It will walk you through the first steps on what to start working on at home, and does go over the underlying causes of picky eating (which is often missed). I hope it helps, let us know if you have any other questions after watching!
Best,
Desiree
My 3 year old is really picky so we end up having the same 7 meals every week for dinner. (However, come to find out she will eat a lot more stuff at school and with her grandma and grandpa.) So my question is, what do you do if your child refuses dinner then wakes up hungry in the middle of the night? This has happened multiple times before and drives us to keep her full at dinner time. Help!
Hi Morgan! Thanks for reaching out! Here are some tips:
Offer a bedtime snack! Provide a small snack before bedtime, but make sure it’s consistent and nothing too elaborate (think simple, like toast or fruit). Assess portion sizes! Evaluate the portion sizes you are offering your child during dinner. It’s possible that they may be overwhelmed by large portions, leading to refusal. Consider serving smaller portions initially and allowing them to ask for more if they are still hungry. Establish consistent meal and snack times! A consistent routine around meals and snacks can help regulate your child’s hunger cues. Offer meals and snacks at similar times each day to create a predictable eating pattern.
Hope that helps! For even more help, check out our free picky eating workshop here.
Best,
Kalyn
My son is 6 years old. Before he turned six he was just like any other picky eater would only eat snacks pasta rice chicken some ground beef and no vegetables. At about 6 months ago the doctors found out that he lost a pound at his last doctor’s appointment. He had to go see a GI specialist to see if there was any issues with his weight. They said that if you didn’t gain 5 lb by his next appointment which will be next week then they would have to scope him from both ends. Right when winter break started is when he started to not want to eat anymore. He would eat some things but not a lot. Sometimes he would ask for food and when we get it for him he would change his mind and said no he’s not hungry he doesn’t want it. Even with some of the foods that he does like he would change his mind and say no he doesn’t want it. Even with some of the snacks he likes he stopped eating a lot of it all together. I just don’t know what to do because he is very skinny he is about 37 and a half pounds at 6 years old. By now he should be at least 40 or more at his age. Please help what should I do?
Hi Ashley! Thanks for reaching out! We have a FREE picky eating workshop that can offer tons of help, tips, and resources for exactly what you’ve described! If you’re interested, click here to join! In the meantime, keep offering food variety. Try serving meals with 1-2 of his preferred foods, that way he feels more comfortable and may eat the other foods on his plate. And as always, try not to force or pressure him to eat anything. Also, for weight gain tips, check out our other blog post!
Best,
Kalyn
Over the last evening and day my 8 year old Grandaughter has only eaten an ice cream and half a bowl of porridge oats, with a small milkshake, She does not want to swallow any food as she thinks she is going to choke. Even with the soft porridge she still spat one mouthful out. She will drink water. any advice please ?
Hello! Thanks for reaching out. Definitely try talking with her and asking her about her fears. Do your best to calm her fears and encourage her that she will be okay. Oral aversions can be tough! We have a blog post with more tips and information for overcoming them— check it out here.
Best,
Kalyn
as a kid i used to refuse food, i ate a toast with cheese, cup of tea in the morning then same tea and a toast in the evening.
I did have constipation issues and i remember how weird some food looked and i had problem with texture, also i think parents usually had arguments at the dinner table so it might add to the anxiety. It all ended in the adolescence
Hi Le! Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story. A negative environment at the dinner table + anxiety can definitely affect a child’s eating! Glad to hear it got better over the years.
Best,
Kalyn
Hi there! My 8 year old son is on the autism spectrum, high functioning but he’s always been a very picky eater. He has started refusing foods he previously ate, cheese, rice etc. We did feeding therapy for a year with “no pressure to eat” and he made very little progress. Right now we are trying other foods with the promise of dessert, and he doesnt have to swallow if he doesn’t like it. I havet found anything else that works! Hes 8 and needs some nutrition from food- it’s so frustrating. Thanks for your article!
Hi Nicole! Thanks for reaching out and sharing your journey- we understand how stressful it all can be! Hang in there- you’re doing great! Sometimes progress is slow, but if you feel unsatisfied with your current feeding therapist, it may be beneficial to find a different one. Hands on assistance with his eating difficulties will still be helpful, given his age and feeding issues. You may also want to try our free picky eating workshop. It has more in-depth tips and information that may also help your son- save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
My son ate everything under the sun and was always willing to try new foods. He had the flu 2 weeks ago and started chewing his food and spitting it out. Currently, he just drinks pediasure, drinkable yogurts, water, juice and ice cream. I will offer him food or make whatever he wants and he might put it to his mouth and then leave. It’s seems like he wants the food, but something is holding him back. The Dr. seem. To have now concerns as he was pooping ok, but I’m still worried.
Hi Adia! Thanks for reaching out! It’s common for kids to lose their appetite after being sick, and may take a while before they fully bounce back. Be patient and keep offering food variety without pressure! We have a blog post dedicated to this with more tips— check it out here and let us know if you have any additional questions!
Best,
Kalyn
My daughter is 7 and has always been a bit of what you’d call a “picky” eater. But she ate everything, albeit in small quantities, when she was a baby/toddler. I have a rotation of about 5 meals she will eat. This list is ever decreasing as there is something on the list she no longer likes. Macaroni cheese used to be a favourite – no more, quiche – gone, even pizza is now not tolerated. Anything with black bits (the pizza had charred bits on the base – from the way it’s cooked in a pizza oven, not actually burnt!), cheese on toast is too cheesy and suddenly butter in sandwiches is a no no. She does eat chicken. For now! Which is one godsend. And of course she likes the usual snack rubbish. And she’s always adored broccoli! Favourite food! She has a wobbly tooth that she just won’t get out – it’s been hanging on for months now. Could this be the reason for the fussy eating? Or is this an emotional cry for help? I’m concerned soon there will be no foods left that she will eat except junk food.
Hi Alex! Thanks for reaching out! It definitely could be related to the wiggly tooth— keep an eye on it and see if this changes once it finally comes out! In the meantime, try serving meals with at least one of her preferred foods and always utilize a no pressure environment! We also have a free picky eating workshop that can help— save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
Hi! I’m glad I came across you’d post! My son just turned 4 two months ago and when he was 1-3 years old he was eating pretty good no issues. Only issue wasn’t eating “enough” so I wouldn’t push it cause I always thought he is a toddler he will out grow it. And my son loves to eat non fatty food. He’s the type to pick cucumbers over chips. But my recent concern is now everytime he is about to eat he gets so scared. He threw up twice within 2 weeks and now is terrified to eat. He will usually say “will I throw up if I eat”. He always brings up “vomiting”. And he is getting over a cough as well he was sick and the cough provokes him to gag at times. Again this literally happened out of nowhere. The sudden change in him switched literally from 1 day to another. And I have bad anxiety because of it now. Please help me.
Hi Jess! Thanks for reaching out! Oral aversions after being sick and vomiting are so common. We have a blog post that can help with some tips! In general, be patient, keep offering without pressure, and talk to your child about their fears.
Best,
Kalyn
Hi, my child is now 3 years old and literally just wanna eat the same cookies everyday no matter how many food is being offered. We dont really presure him so he wont be traumatized but to TBH I am the one feels in trauma now cause I am so worried. He only drinks milk and eat cookies, thats it. We tried decreasing milk but it didnt work, still he wont eat. This started when he was like 18months old.
Hi Michelle! Thanks for reaching out! Definitely continue with the no-pressure environment, however, perhaps trying to implement a feeding schedule might help with his appetite. Try having designated meal/snack times, with 2-3 hours in between each meal or snack. In between that time, only offer water. Hopefully, this will allow him to feel hungry enough to eat something at mealtime, aside from his milk and cookies. For more in-depth help, I highly recommend checking out our upcoming FREE picky eating mini course! Sign up here!
Best,
Kalyn
My grandson had a feeding tube from 9 months until 15 months old. Strict NPO from 9-12 months.
He initially ate well but now at 3 won’t eat anything (except pizza…sometimes). He drinks well some days but not every day.
Troubling is that he doesn’t even seem hungry but is often very moody.
Would he be more at risk for silent acid reflux with his story of g-tube?
Thank you for any help/advice you can give.
Hi Elaine! Thanks for reaching out! I would definitely consult his pediatrician regarding these issues. They could run tests to see if silent reflux is something possible. We do, however, have a blog post regarding silent reflux- check it out here! And for additional help regarding picky eating in general, check out our FREE picky eating mini course that’s starting soon!
Best,
Kalyn
Hi good day I have a 4 year old she refuses to eat anything else she only wants Mac n cheese noodles or chicken and will drink juice but refuse to eat fruits and rice and other foods I need help on what to do
Hi Andrena! Thanks for reaching out! We have an upcoming FREE picky eating mini course that can offer tons of help, tips, and resources for exactly what you’ve described! If you’re interested, click here to join our waitlist! In the meantime, keep offering food variety. Try serving meals with 1-2 of her preferred foods, that way she feels more comfortable and may eat the other foods on her plate. And as always, try not to force or pressure her to eat anything.
Best,
Kalyn
Hi, we’ve been travelling for 5 months and my son started to go off his food and then got covid and now just doesn’t want to eat. He will drink and each days just says have I ate less than yesterday and just doesn’t want to eat. Taken all pressure off but just no desire and will just have soup and custard but that’s it. Lost a lot of weight and tired a lot more. Been to drs and they said wait 3 months
Hi Vicky! Thanks for reaching out! Since you mention he had Covid, it’s possible his sense of smell or taste could have been affected— which could definitely affect his appetite. In general, being sick can snowball into picky eating. Continue to take baby steps, get him to the table for meals, have him help plan dinner for everyone, offer more foods similar to what he likes, continue to put other foods on his plate even if you know he won’t eat it, minimize snacking, and have him help you in the kitchen. For more in-depth tips, check out our free picky eating workshop- save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
Sorry I forgot too add that constipation is the norm usually as well for Tilly.
Kind regards
Sue
Sue, hopefully this blog post can help with easing her constipation!
Best,
Kalyn
Hi, I am in the UK and the grandmother of several grandchildren and although some of them do have niggling food pickiness it is one of my granddaughters aged 7 next month that I am really concerned about, my daughter has tried many times over the years with doctors and everything takes around 2 years here to get referred due to waiting lists. Tilly was showing signs of food issues before she was 6/7 months old as my daughter started introducing home cooked foods and weaning her off baby foods, she refused almost everything except fromage frais and milk, as she grew she was never into finger foods but did like white bread toasted, no matter how much we all tried to coax her she was never interested even if we all went out, she would also react badly to noise and have total meltdowns and one of us would have to take her away until she calmed down, she does have some speech issues and is very thin with bones protruding and her skin is so dry and she has to be held down to even get calpol into her if she’s in pain, after 2/3 years of waiting to see specialists they seem to think after spending just 30 minutes with her on 2 occasions that she’s fine 😥 as she “seems to have lots of energy” she eats white toast, fromage frais, chocolate biscuits (one type only) and two types of crisps and only kinder chocolate eggs, that is everything she eats and she only drinks water nothing else at all, we can’t even get vitamin drops in her without holding her down which makes her really upset. Please can you help as she has barely gained a few pounds in 2 years, she is very pale with dark rings around her eyes even though she sleeps quite well.
Kind regards
Sue.
Hi Susan! Thank you for reaching out! I am so sorry to hear about your granddaughter’s struggles. We understand how stressful it can be. I’m also sorry to hear that the doctor wasnt of much help… I would try to get a second opinion from another healthcare provider, or try to get a referral to an Occupational Therapist/Feeding Therapist! I think some 1:1 hands on assistance through therapy would be great for her. It definitely sounds like she has some sensory sensitivities, which can be affecting her eating. In the meantime, we always recommend continuing to serve meals paired with one of her preferred foods, without any pressure on her to eat anything. The less pressure, the more comfortable they feel with eventually trying new foods. Try some sensory bins and sensory activities with her to see if that helps! Lastly, we have a free workshop for both picky eating and sensory issues. Each workshop would give more insight and tips to help with both of these issues.
Best,
Kalyn
Hi, I’m very happy to come across your site. I have been feverishly googling over the last few weeks in hopes to find something that will help my daughter. As a baby and toddler she was a great eater, lots of different foods and consistent eating. However a week before the start of kindergarten, she completely stopped eating. She tells me that if she eats the food it will then be gone forever. For example, she won’t eat a strawberry because that specific starwberry will be gone forever. I have tried to take pictures, but that doesn’t help. She’s going to a new school and I know she was very anxious about going. She has been there for a week but not much change in her food intake. I have, with good intentions, put pressure on eating, but ignoring it doesn’t seem right either. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have no idea how to help her.
Hi Mollie! Thanks for reaching out! It sounds like she may have some anxiety surrounding food and eating it- maybe some fears about it disappearing. I would try talking to her about this- try asking her more questions to see if you can better understand why she feels this way. Then, you can work with her to come up with some kind of plan- baby steps that she would be comfortable taking to overcome this fear of hers. We have a blog post all about anxiety with eating- check it out here! Hope that helps!
Best,
Kalyn
My 19 month old girl always keeps food in her mouth, all types of food – liquid, smoothie, solid. She can store food there for more than 30 minutes without swallowing. Mealtimes take hours. It’s really frustrating. Any advice please?
Only thing I notice she takes easily is orange, and water:)
Hi Mic! Thanks for reaching out! Food pocketing can be common amongst kids that have sensory issues or difficulty chewing/swallowing- or maybe even other reasons! We have an entire blog post that talks about it and gives tips for stopping it. Check it out here!
Best,
Kalyn
Hi doc my San is 2yrs but he refused to eat from 5months till now
He doesn’t eat nor drink
He loses weight every day
Wat can I do plz
Hi there! Thanks for reaching out! So sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Because of his age, we would recommend reaching out to your pediatrician, who could potentially refer you to a feeding therapist or OT that can provide some hands-on help. It sounds like he could have some sensory sensitivities, which may be preventing him from eating or drinking certain things. Getting to the root of the sensory cause is the best way to improve all other areas. We have a free sensory workshop that goes over all of this and more! Save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
My daughter is 2.5 years old, she loved similac formula until I decided to stop it last week. I tried with other brands but no way she will take it in the form of powder. I am exhausted not sleeping reading and researching how to make her transmission for her age formula.
She likes only banana, rye seeded toasted bread, popcorn, waffles and kids strawberry/bluebery yogurt everything is organic but she doesn’t like any fresh fruits or vegetables in any form prepared or cooked. I am afraid she will lose all her vitamins that she had until she was drinking the ready similac formula.
She has extremely sensitive taste and smell like me and if it is not appealing by texture will not even touch it.
I am at loss.
Hi Loana! So sorry to hear about your daughter’s picky eating- we understand the struggle! It’s always a good idea to consult your pediatrician to make sure she’s healthy and not underweight. In addition to that, we always recommend promoting a no-pressure environment with meals. Serve everyone the same thing at mealtime, but include 1-2 of your daughter’s preferred foods with each meal. This will make her feel more comfortable and more likely to try the other foods she normally refuses. Now that she’s refusing the formula, maybe she will start to have more of an appetite for food. Refrain from forcing her to eat anything or a specific amount. The more pressure we put on them, the more they push back! We have a free picky eating workshop that has more information. You can save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
Hi- My 9 year old recently the last couple months has completely refused too eat any solid food due to the fear of choking. Only thing he will consume is shakes and apple sauce. Anything with texture etc is a no go. He was already thin to begin with and recently he has lost weight and looks very thin which is concerning to the dr because based on his records he is the same weight now as a year ago. He is now complaining of always feeling so tired and really wanting to eat solid food but he can’t because how he’s scared of choking. We’ve talked with his pediatrician and mentioned getting him tested for EOE as what was recommended from the hospital but pediatrician does not feel that is what he has and that it is not necessary. We’ve done lab work and everything is normal. Waiting too see a child psychiatrist and dietitian for help. We’re praying for much needed answers. We are desperate at this point. Have you come across anything like this?
Appreciate the feedback!
Blessings
Hi there! So sorry to hear about the struggles you’re having with your child’s eating. It definitely sounds like there’s anxiety and fear related to eating and choking. Oral aversions due to fears like this can be difficult. I think it’s great that you will be meeting with a child psychiatrist- this should really help get to the root of his fear. And once that fear is tackled, then his eating struggles should improve! It’s possible for your child to get a better handle on their anxiety with food and food phobias with your help, so in the meantime, try some of these tips: don’t pressure your child to eat something he’s not ready for, talk to your child about their anxiety/fear and learn why they feel that way, make a plan for a small step by asking your child what’s one thing they could do with the food(s) they’re fearful of, create a positive atmosphere around meals, brush their teeth with a firm pressure 2-3 times a day (this helps desensitize oral sensory sensitivities and strengthens oral muscles), practice and play with pretend foods and toys, have positive interactions with foods without the expectation of eating (like cooking), play in sensory bins. Check out this post for more tips! Hope that helps!
Best,
Kalyn
My daughter is 7 and she use to eat all food ontil she was 2 now she only eats chicken nuggets and sometime she don’t want to eat at all, she is been saying her stomach hurts or she throws up or her throat hurts , she is been to the hospital and her doctor said she is not worried but I’m so stressed out . She eats cookies ice cream etc but not real healthy food . Please help.
Hi Shirley! Thanks for reaching out! We understand how stressful picky eating can be and we’re here to help! We always recommend starting with a no-pressure environment at mealtimes. This means serving the foods you’re choosing to serve, but allowing your child to choose how much -or how little- she wants to eat, without any force or pressure. Try serving a family meal for dinner, but pair it with at least one of her preferred foods. Seeing her preferred food on the plate will make her feel more comfortable with the other foods. We have a free picky eating workshop that would be helpful- save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
9 year old that eats very few foods. Usually finds one food that works and eats it till he no longer likes it or eats less and less of it. As time goes by he struggles more and more with finding something new to try and is now crying out of frustration of not liking what he used to like. He is unsure as to why he won’t try anything new. He has a very sensitive palate in terms of tasting the difference between waters (tap, bottled, filtered, vitamin drops in water…) for example. Weight is good for his height but also very small for his age. Not sure how to proceed at this pt. Any suggestions would be appreciated
Thank you
Hi Tam! Thanks for reaching out! So sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Because of his age, we would recommend reaching out to your pediatrician, who could potentially refer you to a feeding therapist or OT that can provide some hands-on help. It sounds like he could have some sensory sensitivities, which may be preventing him from eating a wide variety of foods. Getting to the root of the sensory cause is the best way to improve all other areas. We have a free sensory workshop that goes over all of this and more! Save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
Hi my name is lina i have question about my son his almost 6 years old his not eating I offer him so many different food hell say am nt hungry and if he eats hell eat fries and ones a day and nt a lot a very small amount but hell eat fruits and vegetables so my question is .is that normal or I should take him to his dr because his never hungry I have to bag him to eat and hell say no am nt hungry .thank you .
Hi Lina! So sorry to hear about your son’s picky eating- we understand the struggle! It’s always a good idea to consult your pediatrician to make sure he’s healthy and not underweight. In addition to that, we always recommend promoting a no-pressure environment with meals. Serve everyone the same thing at mealtime, but include 1-2 of your son’s preferred foods with each meal. This will make him feel more comfortable and more likely to try the other foods he normally refuses. Refrain from forcing him to eat anything or a specific amount. The more pressure we put on them, the more they push back! We have a free picky eating workshop that has more information. You can save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
Thanks for your articles! Was wondering for this one- you mention kiddos still needing/wanting to be fed but its not mentioned again- where would this fit for picky vs sensory eating issues?
Thank you!
Hey Melanie,
It would depend on the situation and how old they are! If they are wanting you to feed them because they don’t want to touch it, that’s definitely a sensory component. Most picky eaters do have some sensory difficulties!
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
My 4 year old only eat purée food with distraction. Even if hungry will take only chrunchy and very very small bits like bird. He has milk and egg allergy and history of oral aversion. Looking for help. Feeding therapy did not help much. His tounge tie was removed when he was 11months old.
I am at loss to make him eat anything or willingly accepting food even if puree by himself
Hey Sonali,
So sorry for all that you are going through, we know how hard it can be, especially with allergies added to it! We do recommend a no pressure environment as well as getting your child involved in touching and engaging with the foods! We have a free workshop that is a great place to start. You can check it out here.
Best,
Desiree
you’re not alone. My son only eats pureed veggies and gets sooooo angry when I ask him to feed himself. He has no interest and only wants to be fed, but has very poor appetite. I’m sure without me he’d be failure to thrive. His feeding therapy hasn’t done much. She said she felt he needed an appetite stimulant. We tried that and it really hasn’t helped. I’m having him ruled out for autism, but it is all a slow process. In the meantime, with each meal I feel overwhelmed, exhausted and at a loss….as it seems the professionals are too
Hi Amanda! So sorry to hear about your son’s eating struggles. It’s great that you’re working with your pediatrician to test for autism and a feeding therapist! We have a blog post that offers some tips for getting a child to feed themselves. Check it out here!
Best,
Kalyn
My son is 3 years old and he refuses fruits in any form. No juices, milkshakes, cakes or muffins. I have tried everything like keeping fruits where he can reach, buying them with him, slicing, eating myself to set an example etc., fruits will be wonderful option for a quick snack and he hates any type of fruit. Any advice?
Hi Lavita! Thanks for reaching out! We would recommend continuing to offer them in a variety of ways, without any force or pressure. Keep exposing him to them, including him, involving him, getting him hands-on with fruit, etc. Try using dips, fun spears or shapes, for fruits to see if this makes him more interested! Dips can be helpful since they tend to mask the flavor of most foods. Aside from consistency and patience, getting to the root of his picky eating surrounding fruit would be most beneficial. We have a free picky eating workshop that can help with this, check it out here!
Best,
Kalyn
Our 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with a Wilms tumor when she was 22 months old. Her eating habits before then we’re fairly typical, but she ate less and less as the large tumor was growing. She was underweight when the tumor was finally discovered. After major abdominal surgery, she went through radiation and 9 months of intense chemo due to the genetic makeup of the tumor. She had an NG tube inserted and relied mainly on formula tube feeding, but she would nibble a little food throughout treatment. She threw up frequently from treatment and had to have the NG tube reinserted about a dozen times. When treatment was over, I weaned her successfully from the tube and she quickly gained weight, partly aided by some calorie dense food like pancakes made with heavy cream. She got up to the 25th percentile for weight. Although she keeps getting taller, her weight has leveled off and she has not gained weight in a year. She eats a variety of foods, but she eats small bites, slowly, and only seems really interested in the food at the start of the meal. Once she gets past the first “very hungry” part, she gets distracted and just loses interest. She chews for a long time as the meal goes on. We have to urge her through the whole meal (unless it is one of her absolute favorites or she’s particularly hungry) to keep eating. She would come home from summer camp and I would find her lunch uneaten because no one was there to urge her to eat it. She will eat faster if someone spoon feeds her like I did when she was in treatment- the only way she would eat- but she gags if the bites are too big for her or come too fast. We’re seeing a speech therapist and OT now, but they said this is an unusual case and they’re not sure what to do. Again, the range of what she eats is good and healthy, but the speed and quantity is a problem. She’s not gaining weight. Any ideas you have would be much appreciated!
Hi Kara! Thanks for reaching out and sharing your situation with us- it sounds like it’s been a journey! Glad to hear that your daughter has come so far since then, but so sorry to hear that she’s having some issues with eating- it’s completely understandable considering all that she’s been through! Trauma can play a huge factor in oral aversions (more about that here!) It’s great that you’re currently working with a speech therapist and OT. We always recommend a no-pressure environment, allowing the child to choose how much or how little they eat, without forcing. That, along with oral/sensory play, might help make her feel more confident and comfortable with eating foods! Try sensory bins, playing/touching/feeling her food, using a vibrating toothbrush inside her mouth, drinking through straws, or making silly faces- these are all sensory/oral exercises that can help to desensitize her gag reflux/sensory sensitivities and build her oral muscles. Hope that helps!
Best,
Kalyn
Thank you! Her older brother also had an oral aversion, but he was in the “no variety” camp- he’d only eat a few things. We went to an OT and I used a lot of the tricks I learned there to wean her from the feeding tube. Since she’ll eat such a variety, it didn’t occur to me that it could still be in the same family with oral aversions, but you’re right, it absolutely makes sense. I’ll suggest to the speech therapist that we try coming at it from that angle. Just to reassure you a little, we don’t nag her to eat in a mean way, more like reminding her to focus. And the spoon feeding comes when she asks me with a smile to feed her. 🙂 We’ll try not to worry so much about her weight while we work on this- she’ll get there.
Thank you again!
Hello.
I have a 7 year old. I wouldn’t say her diet is terrible but it could be better.
She was born prematurely and had a feeding tube, she had colic, reflux,constipation. As she got older she developed dairy and gluten intolerances. Over time we got over them by slowly re introducing foods. How ever she now constantly gets tummy aches. At least one a week.
It’s like she has developed “safe foods” so she knows which ones won’t make her feel ill so won’t try anything new.
I’m happy with what she eats for breakfast, lunch and snacks and she eats a varied amount of fruit. Veg not so much-carrots&sweetcorn.
How ever dinner time meals I’d love to all eat the same. She will eat pasta, pizza, nuggets, sausages. She hates any type of potato. She doesn’t like combining food eg- she loves tuna and loves pasta but won’t eat tuna pasta. She also doesn’t like “wet” food so lasagne etc. How can I introduce new meals without the cries of “I don’t like that!” Without actually trying it. Or trying a mouse sized nibble and then not liking it.
Hi Michelle! Thanks for reaching out! We understand how stressful picky eating can be and we’re here to help! We always recommend starting with a no-pressure environment at mealtimes. This means serving the foods you’re choosing to serve, but allowing your child to choose how much -or how little- she wants to eat, without any force or pressure. Try serving a family meal for dinner, but pair it with at least one of her preferred foods. Seeing her preferred food on the plate will make her feel more comfortable with the other foods. We have more tips and information here in this post!
Best,
Kalyn
I used to think he was going to grow out of it, but now my son is four years old and is pickier than ever. He won’t eat any meat or vegetables and sticks mainly to plain buttered noodles or mac & cheese, certain types of fruit, and crunchy carbs. I’ve made us all separate meals almost his entire life. Just a year ago, though, he would at least eat meatless spaghetti or baked and breaded chicken nuggets, but now I rarely know what to put on the table for him because he usually has a breakdown if there’s anything slightly different or novel about the food. He developed GERD a few weeks after he was born, and was on medication for that until he was six months old, and subsequently we were terrified to give him anything that wasn’t very neutral tasting because he would have a reaction. So I feel like we’ve created this problem. I don’t think he was ever exposed enough to different types of food as an infant/toddler, and now exposure does nothing. We can expose him to something 15 times over the course of a few months, and he rejects it all 15 times. His daycare tuition covers the cost of his meals, but I almost always have to send him a lunch because he simply won’t eat there. I am at a total loss and feel so sad that I have failed him in some way. I’ve tried so many things I’ve seen on this website, but nothing seems to work.
Hi Chelsea! Thanks for reaching out! We understand your frustration and know how difficult it can be when struggling to feed your child. But you are definitely not alone and we are here to help! First of all, please don’t blame yourself or think that you’ve failed him in any way- it’s simply not true! You are a great mother and are doing your best! It may sound redundant, but keep trying. We recommend serving your child the same food as everyone else at the table, plating the meal with at least one of his preferred foods. Promote a no-pressure environment at mealtimes, making sure he knows that it’s okay for him to not eat something if he doesn’t want to. This will make him feel comfortable with new foods, to the point where he may willingly try them on his own. We have many more tips and in depth information in our free picky eating workshop. Save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
Hi,
My daughter is 6 yrs old. The problem with her is that she never chew food immediately after she take a bite. She keep the food in her mouth until i say to chew. I have to yell at her for eating food and to chew. Till date she has never come and told me that she is hungry. She takes one and a half an hour some times more than that to finish her meals and breakfast. She has this problem only with the food. But she is very much comfortable and happy in eating snacks. She can chew it very well. But I am very much worried that why she do not want to chew the food. She never sit in a place while eating food. I have tried all the varities of food to make her eating time more comfortable. Her this behaviour has made me put in more stress. I do not how to make her to eat and how to change her behaviour.
Hey! Thanks for reaching out. Focusing on getting your daughter to sit at the table for all her meals and snacks might be a helpful first step (although we know it can be a challenging one!). You might also check out our article on pocketing food. It might give you some good ideas on how to help your daughter.
Best,
Andrea
My kid is 2.9 year old he is used to eat with screen and he likes to eat the plain rice and what ever given he has the hesitation to have the first bite he wants to eat but hesitates to eat
Recently I have started by not giving the mobile even though he is hungry he asks for the food and besides drinks water without tasting it.
Hey Jyothsna,
Thanks for sharing your experience with us! No screens at mealtimes can be such a help in the long run. It sounds like he’s making some improvements, which is great. If he’s still having trouble with picky eating, we have a free online mini course going on right now. It would be a great thing to check out. You can sign up HERE.
Best,
Andrea
Hello, my 7 year old boy doesn’t want to taste any fruits or veggies or even something that he thinks is gross. When he was 3 he was eating, tasting everything almost. He used to chew on celery stick or even green onion stick! When I try to take it back he was crying to not to give them back . Since around 4 year old he start to eat only home made or fast food burgers, chicken , macaroni , etc. For dinner and cheese, pancake , yogurt etc for breakfast and not tries any full apple yet! Or banana. But he eats them if it is pureed puch fruit sells in stores. He eat icecream, chips, popcorn all.kind of chunk food. I did everything putting some in his plate but no matter what I did he doesn’t try or taste fruit or vegetables. Since his taste buds only like more of a bread type of stuff he is getting chunkier and I scare, Please help.
Hey Ozzy!
Thanks for reaching out. We know it can be extremely frustrating when our kids don’t eat a variety of foods! We actually just ran out live mini course targeting picky eaters, that would be a huge help to you. The replays of videos will be up for the next 4 days. You can sign up HERE to receive access to all the videos! It would be a great place to start. Please let us know if you have any questions.
Best,
Andrea
Hi, I have a 4 year old who is refusing to eat only wants milk drinks. Before he ate food and now just stopped. It frustrating and I am loosing my mind. Please help.
Hey Amanda,
we understand how hard this can be! I’d try to focus on setting up a good schedule and environment for eating. You can try to provide him with a small amount of milk during the meal/snack time while he is sitting at the table with family! You can learn all about setting up a great environment in our free workshop! Save your seat here!
Best,
Desiree
Hi I have a six year old that was a healthy eater never had any problem eating until recently. She just stopped eating she says she having trouble chewing and swallowing foods. She can eat chips but not eat regular food like rice and beans, chicken, mash potatoes pasta meats, salad fruit. Her favorite fruit is strawberries and she just can’t eat them
anymore apples she will chew and spit it out please help I need answers and if there is anything I can do to help her eat again she will only drink liquids yogurt or apple sauce.
Hi Rachel! Thanks for stopping by! We understand how stressful it can be. Since she reports difficulty chewing and swallowing, it might be good to have her checked out by a pediatrician, just to make sure everything is okay. But since she is able to eat chips, it might just be sensory or picky eating. Try offering one food she likes with every meal that you serve, making sure to also promote a no-pressure environment. We have a free picky eating workshop that covers all of this and more! Save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
My 9 year old boy choked on a hot dog about 2 weeks ago. He was scared and thought he was going to die. After the incident he ate as usual… chicken sandwich, eggs, hamburger, spaghetti, beans, ham, rice, potatoes, juices milk, etc …then about 5 days ago he became teary and refused to eat. Now he only drinks smoothies, soups, very buttery waffles, chopped up breakfast sausage, strawberry milk with protein powder, and water. What should we do to help him? I’m confused and overwhelmed.
Hello! So sorry to hear about your son’s recent choking incident. Choking can be very traumatic, which can commonly lead to food related anxiety and aversions. Try to encourage positive interactions with food, such as cooking together or grocery shopping. Calmly talk to your son about his fears, making sure to be supportive and patient, while promoting a no-pressure environment. You can find more information and tips here in this post.
Best,
Kalyn
Hi,
I have a 3.7 years old boy. The issue is from last 3 to 4 month he has completely stopped eating homemade solid food. Being Indian we prefer Rice & Indian bread( made out of wheat) along with vegetables, curries,pulses and at times eggs and chicken. We tried different ways and means to make him eat his meals but no luck. Now, he doesn’t eat breakfast nor lunch or dinner. So as worried parents we have started giving him formula food ( mixed with milk) which he drinks as a substitute keeping in mind the fact that atleast he gets the required nutrients out of the formula food(Pedia sure).Though he eats fruits like kiwi, pineapple, banana, guava, orange in small quantities and also dry fruits -almond & walnut. Beside these he only likes to eat cakes, potato chips and chocolates. I have also observed that he picks up things at home, chews and licks them, very fond of eating toothpaste. I feel it’s related to his hormonal changes but I am really worried about his fooding habits. Any help would be highly appreciated.
Hi Bhaskar,
Thanks for reaching out! That sounds really challenging. We suggest offering some new foods along with the foods or formula that he regularly has. Doing this without pressure is a really helpful step! We actually have a free online mini course going on right now. Our next class is today at 2pm EST. It would be a great resource for you. If you miss a class, we also send out the replay afterwards. You can sign up HERE.
Best,
Andrea
Hello, I have an 8 year old son. Who only will eat waffles, pancakes, pizza, and plain chips. He won’t eat any butter or even syrup on his waffles and he barley finishes them. I give him protein shacks every day but he won’t drink them. He smells everything I give him and he won’t even TRY to eat anything I give him. I have tried making pizza with him and adding veggies or meat to the pizza. He will not eat it. He sometimes eats cheese and crackers or jello. I’m doing everything in my power to help him have taken him by many doctors and therapist, they don’t have any solutions!!!!!!!! He’s not growing. He’s very skinny. He tells me he hates food. He has seem videos of kids with tubes being fed. And he is highly considering it!!!!! He will tell me , those kids can still do normal things. I’m at shock, lost for words, sad, I’m so worried about him. He’s so defiant when it comes to food.
Hi Sade,
Oh that sounds really discouraging and heartbreaking for you. We always encourage positive, no pressure solutions to feeding. We have a Facebook Live event going on tomorrow at 2 EST, you can find our Facebook HERE. Be sure to follow along, we have tons of new free picky eating resources coming out. You can also sign up for our email list to get all the latest details. I think they will be a really helpful resource for you guys. Let us know if you have any questions!
Best,
Andrea
Hi my 5 year old son never eat any vegetables or any pulse and he don’t like any fast food also he eat only one or two chapati for day so I am so worried about it
Hey Urvashi,
We know that can be so challenging! We actually have our free online mini course open right now for picky eating. It would be an awesome resource for you! The next part of the class is this Tuesday at 2pm EST, but we send out replays once you’re registered! You can sign up HERE.
Best,
Andrea
Hi,
My granddaughter is a 2 1/2 years old, before her 2 years old moulders were starting, was eating most of her solid foods, when her moulders started, she completely went off her foods. Eats only mum-mums, rice cakes mashed avocado spread onto her bread, goat’s milk & on/off soft-boiled egg. When I offered the food she used to eat, she looks at it and pushes away her plate, without tasting it first. It’s been nearly a year, that her appetite has gone, her stools are soft, sometimes too loose. Sleeps well and is a happy toddler. Yours truly, Josie
Hey Josie,
That sounds really frustrating! We have our free online mini course up for another week. There are 3 different lessons. That might be a great place for you to start to figure out what might be going on with her. Alisha talks a lot about underlying causes and setting up a positive mealtime environment. You can sign up HERE.
Best,
Andrea
Could be a sensory issue . Same with my child till I found out she had high functioning autism . Very hard to find out in girls .
Hi I’m violet my son is a year and 4 months he doesn’t want to eat anything I give him…he will throw the food on the ground for the dogs to eat but he only wants to eat sweets and I give him a surtain amount of sweets daily he gets his daily vitamins but he still doesn’t want to eat he takes a small bite of the food en then he spits the food out what can I do to get him to eat
Hi Violet,
We know how difficult it can be to have your son throw food on the ground and refuse to eat! Toddlers just love that cause and effect game! You can try repeating “We keep food on the tray” when he tosses his food overboard. Sometime the small shift in words can make a difference! We have a post about throwing food that has some other helpful suggestions. We’d love to have you check it out!
Best,
Andrea
Hello, I have an 8 year old son. Who only will eat waffles, pancakes, pizza, and plain chips. He won’t eat any butter or even syrup on his waffles and he barley finishes them. I give him protein shacks every day but he won’t drink them. He smells everything I give him and he won’t even TRY to eat anything I give him. I have tried making pizza with him and adding veggies or meat to the pizza. He will not eat it. He sometimes eats cheese and crackers or jello. I’m doing everything in my power to help him have taken him by many doctors and therapist, they don’t have any solutions!!!!!!!! He’s not growing. He’s very skinny. He tells me he hates food. He has seem videos of kids with tubes being fed. And he is highly considering it!!!!! He will tell me , those kids can still do normal things. I’m at shock, lost for words, sad, I’m so worried about him. He’s so defiant when it comes to food. I gave him a bowl of soup today and he flipped the whole bowl over on my kitchen table :”(
While you’re article was informative, it wasn’t complete. My daughter was such a picky eater that every year her school would call me and discuss her weight and eating issues. It wasn’t until she was 13 that I finally got a professional answer for it. She has ARFID. “ARFID often co-occurs with other mental health diagnoses such as anxiety disorders or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Like any other eating disorder, ARFID is not a choice and is considered to be a severe illness that requires professional treatment.”
So were anorexia and bulimia deal with body image ARFID deals with the issue of not liking to eat. They just don’t like the food or they are afraid to choke on food (not my daughter’s issue).
This is a condition that has only been recently discovered and has some kind of treatment to help with this issue. Personally, it was so intensive and involving (having to take my child out of school three days ever other week) it wasn’t realistic to keep at it.
She stopped the program. While she’s still skinny, she’s still managing to gain weight (covid restrictions being suspect). She’s doing alright but AFRID needs no awareness and more information the public can get is good to get the help to those who need it.
Hey Kayleen,
Yes, we are aware of the diagnosis and when we discuss “extreme picky eaters” on our site this would fall also with someone with an ARFID diagnosis for the information we are relaying. We have a lot of information on extreme picky eating and can’t cover it all in the article. But hopefully you find that it is helpful. We do have free workshops as well that can help for those “extreme picky eaters”. Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Hi, my 4.5 yr old chocked recently. She became cautious after, but continued to eat all the normal foods she loves. Just a couple days ago (weeks after choking incident) she stopped eating anything solid. Her fears of choking again suddenly over took her. I’ve been having to sit with her and help her take nibbles and a sip of liquid after every bite of anything. I’ve tried everything I know to do…talking, giving her lots of different food options, encouragement, praise when she does eat…etc. Her home life is VERY happy, full of fun, both my husband and I are very loving/affectionate parents. I believe the Situation is strictly from the choking incident, nothing emotional. I don’t want to make eating food a negative experience because of all this, but in order to make her eat, I have to sit there and strongly encourage and coax her through the whole meal in order to get any calories in her. I have been making smoothies for her, but I feel like the longer this plays out, the more solidified the issue will become in her mind. I’m trying not to make a huge deal out of it, at the same time I’ve had some serious talks with her about it
Hey Sara,
Thanks for reaching out! We understand how these incidents can leave a lasting impact on kids. We do still recommend a no pressure environment even in this situation for basically helping her to re-trust all these foods. Not sure if you are familiar with providing no pressure but we do have a workshop that might be helpful for you. In your case since she is okay with the smooth foods you’d make sure that you do have that included with every meal as her (preferred). Hope this helps you can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Already planning to see a dietician but maybe I could get some advice here as well. My 4 year old (5 in october) started out eating very well, he would eat his veggies, I didn’t have to cook separate meals, sure there were some small things he didn’t like but that was normal. Then around 2 years old he changed completely, to where he would litterally only eat very limited and specific foods that I very often didn’t want to give him because in large quantities it wasn’t good for him (mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, casadillas, cheese) but of course being concerned that he wasn’t eating enough I caved to his demands so he would eat. Now he eats hardly anything at all and has even started losing weight to the point I can see his ribs! I’ve tried routine, I’ve tried presenting new foods with the old familiar ones to entice him to eat, I took tablet away during meal times and made him sit at the table to eat and still I can hardly get him to eat 800 calories a day! I took juice away, and now he’s only allowed water and milk and still no progress no nothing and his pediatrician has no solution and just constantly guilt trips me because he is underweight….im at my ropes end and now I’m just getting ridiculous amounts of anxiety during meal times because I’m trying so hard not to lose my cool when he doesn’t want to eat! I just want him to be healthy and to grow and nothing I do seems to make it any better. My daughter eats great, litterally everything she can get her hands on and she’s as healthy as an ox. Im just so concerned about when he goes to school next year that he won’t have the energy to learn or he just won’t eat all day. Or even that his teachers will be concerned that he doesn’t have enough food at home because he’s just so skinny. What do I do?
Hey Samantha!
We know it can be so challenging and so scary when our kiddos don’t want to eat! You’re not alone at all! So many other moms have this same challenge! Here is a great list of high calorie foods that we created. We’d also suggest our free picky eating course. It’s a great resource and gives you some ideas to start right away! You can save your seat HERE. Let us know if you have any questions.
Best,
Andrea
For Samantha – my son stopped eating about age 2yrs. Had been fine before that. I, too, worried myself sick about his poor eating habits, for years. A good tip I got from specialist is to cook minced beef with veg (finely chopped onion, grated carrot & courgette, & any other veg u can get in there (grated pumpkin, sweet potato, celery, spinach, mushrooms, etc)! Thicken with a little cornflour/water & allow to cool slightly. I told my son the doctor said he MUST eat mince for dinners (& he ate it !!!). I was bowled over – I cudnt believe it – seemed so simple! He liked white rice, so he had a separate little bowl for that. He seemed to like cute plates & different styles of cutlery. Yes take aeay juice, get on water at mealtimes. Save milk for snack-time (as it takes the iron out of system). It was a start. It has taken years to get to be a better eater. It has always helped to put him at a table with other people, he tries harder eat when he wants to look like everyone else eating around him. School lunches are the worst, but lately he has even tried small wraps with lettuce/ham (v finely sliced). He seems to eat the same thing for ages then gets sick of it & u hv to figure out the nxt thing he’ll eat, might last a year or 10-weeks, but it’s some progress. The mince/veg has all the iron etc they need for a day. I found he just seems to be a slow learner, but if he helps prepare food, set table, has a voice/is heard about what his thoughts are abt foods/textures it helps. He is now growing rapidly & has flesh on his ribs! It has taken yrs, some days no eating but most days at least 2 really rounded meals. Think about the week’s intake of food, perhaps aim for that, rather than daily (to start with). It eases the worry & takes a bit of tension out of mealtimes. Good luck finding the foods they will eat!! It’s a learning curve for everyone!!
We moved to Poland , so whole trip in airport my 4 year old toddler ate only cookies and bananas. One week we are in new country and he still eats the same refusing to eat any dairy or normal meal:( though a little progress he picked up vanilla icecream and at least tried something new .. Im worried how long this adaption will last 🙁
Hey Aphina,
so sorry you are having trouble with your little one during this transition, it can be hard. It does take some time for kids to adapt. I would try to make things the same as possible utilizing the same plate, cup, etc. So he knows that it’s time to eat and has something familiar. Also, make sure you are eating with him and modeling for him. If he ate a variety of foods before, I’d continue to present those with his current preferred food at meals and model eating for him. I’d make sure not to pressure him into eating, but modeling and hopefully getting him to engage in the foods would be really good first steps to get him back to eating!
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
My 7 year old refuses to eat unless its processed food or junk food. She will eat as long as it is that and even refuses to eat stuff she used to. Help!
Hey Jess,
We totally understand how frustrating this can be! I’d try to remove all pressure from mealtimes, as this can really help. We do have a free workshop that walks you through how to remove all pressure as well as looking at the underlying cause of picky eating. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hi.. My baby boy is 10 month old, he used to eat well in his early months but after 8 months he is consistently refusing solids. He is not gaining any weight at 10 months his weight is 6.7 kgs. Now he taste every food but never takes second bite. He starts drooling on & off and whenever his drooling starts he stops eating everything. I am really worried can you plz suggest
Hi Shilpa,
It can be really tough when our little ones refuse solids! You might try to start brushing teeth (gums) twice a day. Sometimes that simple activity can make a big difference in sensitivity for little ones. We also have a free workshop about transitioning to table foods. It might be helpful. You can save your seat HERE.
Best,
Andrea
ARFID. It’s called an eating disorder. I just commented earlier about my daughter having this. I just happened to scroll down and see you post about the fear of choking and that’s a big red flag for ARFID.
“ Behavioural signs of ARFID
Sudden refusal to eat foods. A person with ARFID may no longer eat food that that ate previously.
Fear of choking or vomiting. …
No appetite for no known reason. …
Very slow eating. …
Difficulty eating meals with family or friends. …
No longer gaining weight. …
Losing weight. …
No growth or delayed growth.”
Unlike anorexia and bulimia that deals with body image, people with ARFID just don’t like eating. I’m not a medical professional or anything but I would suggest finding out everything you can about ARFID and see if it might be. I’m not sure the treatment for adults is the same for kids. But I’d research to see if it applies.
Hey sara!
I’m no expert but had the same thing happened to my 10 yr old (9 at the time it happened) last year. He chocked in June 2020 and after that he got cautious while eating. As days went on he started to eat less until the fear of chocking took over and he stopped eating completely. At that point i couldn’t get him to eat anything solid and he was already a picky eater so didn’t like soups. All he was consuming was water, gatorade and gogurts. I was so scared and concerned he was dropping weight really fast. His doctor referred him to a speech therapist so they could work with him. Also recommended to give him pediasure to his diet and to give him vitamins. The vitamins were hard to give him, I couldn’t find anything soluble. He was afraid to eat the gummy kind and the tablets ones i would try to crush them but they wouldn’t really dissolve in the water and he would get scared of the bits of crumbs he would get. By the time his referral was approved from his insurance it was already September when i was finally able to get him in for therapy. His doctor would see him often in the meantime to keep and eye ln his weightless. I’m so glad for the referral by December he was back to eating again his usual foods. Therapy also helped for him to not be so picky. He is now eating more foods including vegetables and fruits which he hated. And is now more open to trying new things before shutting them down. I don’t know if you are still going trough this but if you are I would recommend to see a speech therapist. They don’t only work with speech they help with the oral/feeding/swallowing skills. Which is something I honestly didn’t know. Hooing for the best for you and your kid.
Hi Alisha, My 6year old daughter suddenly stopped eating hard food and started spitting out her saliva. She has never struggled with eating. She complained and said she feels like there is snort in her throat and is afraid that she will choke if she eats, she has gone from normal food to eating only pureed foods that we have to put on the blender. We have taken her to a GP then ENT that did not see anything wrong with her even after x-rays. The ENT suggested that we sit her down and chat to her to see if there’s any trauma she has gone through recently, she told us that she witnessed a child choking in nursery school and she has also had choking episodes and so is afraid of choking, she chews the soft food until it is watery and sometimes swallows and sometimes not. Four days ago, we took her to ER ads she had pain when urinating, the doctor diagnosed Candida (Oral thrush and UTI ) she is currently on medication for 7days . We are now on day 4 and she still refuses to eat solid food. I am so scared as her weight keeps dropping, the only available date that we can get with a therapist is in February due to the Covid 19 and Christmas holidays. She last had normal food on the 30th November.
Hello YB, my daughter is going through the same exact thing. She is also 6 years old and it came on suddenly about a week ago. I would love to chat if possible. MK
Hi my daughter is currently facing this problem too but she is nearly 5 and spits out her food,would love to talk!
My boyfriend’s 6 y/o daughter is going through the same thing! She was peeing ALL the time! She took medicine for that and now just now just REFUSING to eat ANYTHING. The night this started she just started crying that she had choked before and didn’t want to do it again.. That happened days before this started. She has been known to be dramatic before if she doesn’t want to eat or something like that.. but now it’s been over a week. He took her to her doctor last Wed. dr. said it could be a bug or GROWING PAINS! No one I have asked has ever heard of this.. He is very upset and doesn’t know what else to do for her. Any help would be appreciated. Side note: I think it is very strange 4 of us have kids about the same age, all doing the same thing around the same couple of days!
So sorry you are going through this! Having Oral thrush will have an impact on her eating. I’d continue to offer the soft foods and slowly start to work up on foods that are easier to manage ie: meltables such as townhouse crackers. Showing your daughter that these will melt without any chewing (to help with her getting over the choking thoughts) can be helpful. I’d also be engaging her in some play/cooking help in the kitchen to get her touching/engaging with the foods as this is really important to move towards eating (even foods she was eating before).
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Hiya
My daughter is 10 and is struggling to eat at her fathers house. He has recently split from his partner and bought his own house. He has a fairly good set up, regular mealtime and at a table which is something I don’t have (table).
She feels pressured by him and can’t talk to him.
She doesn’t have this issue with me or her aunt. She feels it maybe a ‘table’ problem, although my sister has a table. He was sitting opposite her and now he sits next to her so he doesn’t stare or make eye contact.
She will make any excuse possible not to eat with him but then feels he’s getting angry and will kick off ( which he is known for but is conscious about this in this situation)
She eats at school with no issues either.
Do you have any advice that may help as I haven’t a clue what to suggest or advise him or make her change her thinking.
Hey Maxine,
Thanks for reaching out to us! I’d talk with her father about making sure he is setting up a no pressure environment and what that means. Helping to set rules around mealtimes like: I’m providing food, at least one thing she likes, but that she does not have to eat. And try to have him conversate with her about other things. We do have a free workshop all about removing pressure that may be helpful in this situation. You can save your seat here
Best,
Desiree
My 6 yo has been doing the exact same thing. She will only eat hummus and yogurt for the past week. She says her throat doesn’t hurt but she can ‘feel something different’ in it. Getting ready to schedule an appointment, will keep you posted. Please keep me posted on what everyone else is doing!
Hi there,
We are having difficulty with our 16month old daughter and eating on her own. Since we started introducing solids at 6 months of age, she has never been super interested in eating on her own. With us really trying to get her to eat food we unfortunately created the bad habit of having videos playing to distract her and then she would eat mindlessly as we shoved food in her mouth. At the time we were happy as she was finally eating solid food and thought she would then start to like food. Of course this was not the case. We now have a behavior and routine in place of eating with videos. We just removed videos and are back to square one of no food going in her mouth. She pushes it all around on the high chair and squishes it but never to her mouth. She will put some of her favorite food items in her mouth on her own but only a few bites… So we know she can do it but how can we get her to do it more so that she eats enough at meal time. Do we just continue trying with putting food in front of her and hoping one day she will just “get it”. Everyone says they will eat when they are hungry but she’s not eating alot of food resulting in us still having to do a bottle at night still. Just looking for advice and support.
Hey Taylor,
Thanks for reaching out! We truly understand what you are going through and know how hard it can be. I think it’s great that she is touching and squishing the foods, this is a huge step. I would keep modeling for her while being silly putting the food in her mouth. We do have a free workshop as well that will walk you through some other strategies that can help with getting them to eat. You can save your seat here
Best,
Desiree
We are in nearly the exact same boat. Is your daughter eating better now and did you figure out anything that worked?
My 3year old has gone from eating everything to any wanting fruit or sweets for every meal. When he doesn’t get them he screams, throws things and is refussing to talk. I have tried to wait out this behavior, but he is so strong willed and will go many hours without eating anything. Even to the point of missing up to two meals before I finally give in. This has continued for a couple of weeks. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Please help advise me on this. Thank you
Hey Carla,
So sorry you are going through this, we know how hard the food battles can be! I’d recommend starting to remove all pressure at mealtimes, this can help to have them relax more at mealtimes. We do have a free workshop that walks you through how to do this, plus other strategies for working through this picky eating! You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hi my 3 half year old son was a really good eater ate everything you would give him but then he choked and now will only eat yoghurts that is it I very ywprried as I want h to have a good hot meal like he used to i try not to force him as he is eating something even though its not what I would like him to eat if he gets a taste of anything different than yoghurt he spits it out and wipes his mouth and tongue as he cant bare the taste , he is going through a paediatrician at the moment and he has always has sensory smell problems but this is to the extreme . What should I do to encourage him more to eat other foods or just let him eat when he is ready as he thinks he’s litterally going to choke on everything apart from yoghurt.
Carrie
Hey Carrie,
So sorry you are dealing with this, but love that you aren’t forcing him! Sounds like he is sticking with his safe foods, I would try branching out slowly to similar textures and working your way back up to the foods. So trying a pudding, but talking him through this is soft just like your yogurt. Working your way up to trying a “meltable” like very small piece of graham crackers “look at mommy it melts on my tongue” but again, no forcing. This can help, but will take some time. Make sure to keep offering! We do have a free workshop as well, if you find that he’s not making any progress and you may need it. It can help set up that positive mealtime experience. Save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hi Alisha,
I know you have addressed this in your blog but seeking reassurance! My little one is 14mo old now. History of long standing reflux associated with failure to thrive and previous bottle aversion. Background of some dairy and nut allergy that is slowly getting better. She has always been a nibbler and never eats much food of significance in terms of amounts. (except for fruits! She can chew and swallow this in any shape and form!). In saying that she is still definitely filling up her belly with 240mls of milk x 3 bottles (24oz) all after meals, so I am guessing she isn’t hungry enough for solids with the next meal. She takes water in a straw sippy very well (loves water in fact!). Today I offered milk with her bfast via the sippy and she took about 50mls max without eating any bfast. I got nervous and gave her some milk via the bottle afterwards. Less volume than usual but I went back to the bottle sadly. At barely 8kg at 14 mo, my anxiety about her not drinking milk if not eating enough solids obviously plays up! And of course we do not have that many alternate Calcium options apart from her milk as her food intake is low. (Apart from starting supplements).Do I keep offering sippy with bfast and lunch meal (and not offer bottle afterwards even if she doesn’t eat/drink much) and stick with that? Keen to keep the bedtime bottle as is for now as it helps her sleep through the night. How long does it usually take to see an improvement in food intake when milk intake is cut back? Sorry for the long post!
Hi Vinita! Thanks for reaching out! Due to her medical history, we always recommend consulting with your pediatrician first, but generally speaking, we encourage offering meals with 4oz of milk in an open cup or straw cup and then waiting until the next meal or snack (~2.5-3hrs later) to give another 4oz serving of milk. This schedule will help make sure she is hungry at each mealtime and will therefore eat more of her food, rather than filling up on milk in between meals. We have a blog post that breaks all of this down with a sample schedule. You can check it out here! Hope that helps!
Best,
Kalyn
My 2 year old was very good eater.She eats everything and byherslf.She still breastfeeding with me sometimes especially when she goes to sleeps.But unfortunately everything has been change,when her little brother arrive,she get jealous a lot.Im struggling with her attitude because she have more tantrums and the tiry part is she don’t want to eat and she back to full breastfeeding. If she saw her brother having milk she also wants it or else she cry and shouting.please advice me what to do.im so worried about her because she have medical conditions and she’s not eating anymore just depends on my milk.
Hey Gene,
So sorry you are dealing with this situation. We know how hard it can be! I’d try to find time in the day that can be mostly just you and her, so she can get some 1 on 1 time. For meals, I’d start making sure you have a good space for them and setting up some rules as far as she letting her know “when” mealtimes are and making sure she has preferred foods. You can also try to set limits on when she’s able to nurse, as to make sure it’s not interfering with her eating. We know this transition can be hard for some, take it one day at a time.
Best,
Desiree
Dear Alisa,
My 7 years old daughter wont eat!
This has been going since April when the COVID lockdown took place and she stopped going to school.
In the house, when food time approach, she starts complaining of stomachache and refuses to eat anything, even the meals we use to prepare to her in school. At first we thought that this is because she is messing her classmates (she really loved her time at school) so we tried not to be strict about her food time or habit and decided to go easy on her. we started eating according to the time that she does at school and my wife prepared the same meals she eat at school.this includes preparing her favourites and art-design her dishes to look like her favourite cartoon character. Despite that, there was no improvement. Sometimes she can stay for the whole day without eating a single bite and we tried to be strict about her meals but again with no results.
In late April, we took her to the doctor who ran various tests. she lost some weight and she had a slight iron deficiency. but even so and with the medications, her appetite did not improve and she barely eats.
any advice you can give us would be very much appreciate it. we are really struggling here.
thank you very much
Ben
Hey Ben,
So sorry you are dealing with this, we know how hard it can be! I’d try to be open and have a conversation with her on her eating and other feelings she may have. It is a hard time to adjust for everyone! I’d also try removing pressure from mealtimes, this can be hard, but can be extremely helpful. We have a free workshop that walks you through how to do this and some other steps to take you can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
hello,
I have been on a long journey with my 8 year olds eating. I guess as a toddler you would of labeled her as a picky eater. She had her tonsils/adenoids out in kindergarten. By first grade I knew we were facing some big issues as she would go weeks without wanting to eat, mainly just soft foods and breads . I have continued taking her to doctors trying to figure out how to help her. Now she has just finished 2nd grade. Recently we have been to a GI, speech and will see a OT and counselor soon. She complains of “gunk” in her mouth and says it is sticky and happens when she eats. Currently she is only eating soft foods with smooth textures. Yogurt,pudding, jello, poached egg yellow only. This last year has been difficult for her. Her dad and I separated in Oct. we lost a beloved cat. Then the closing of school has made our schedules uncertain. I want to support her the best I can. Yet her dad wasn’t getting her regularly and only recently has started to see how difficult her eating is. Having her pinky promise him she’ll eat and saying if she doesn’t eat the fast foods he gets her then that’s it. This has created some anxiety as well for her. The Speech therapist we seen says she thinks a lot of it may be anxiety related . She is fearful to try some foods and is doing little licks vs. putting spoon into mouth. Any help or advice is much appreciated.
Hey Candice,
So sorry for all of what you are going though. Sounds like you are really trying to get her on the right path! Anxiety can be very intertwined with feeding difficulties and we see that a lot. I would first be trying to remove pressure off of her during meals, this can be really helpful in moving forward and building that relationship with food. We do have a free workshop that walks you through this and more. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Ben, my daughter is doing the same. It has been gradual. I believe it’s down to not having enough social interactions with her classmates. How can we… and if schools don’t open in September I don’t know what I will do. 😭
Hey Lucie,
We totally understand, it’s such a difficult time for everyone! I’d try to make things as comfortable for her at mealtimes at home as you can! Making sure to remove all pressure from mealtimes as possible. You can learn more about how to do that as well as some other strategies in our free picky eating workshop! Save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
This is exactly same going on with my 10 year old , literally exact same , Igot some those pedia shakes drank one and that was it very concerning and nerve wrecking
We know how hard it can be! Take one step at a time to work on the eating 🙂
Best,
Desiree
I’m really happy to have found your website. And even though you have a ton of resources, I’m still hoping you can offer advice. My son is 14 months old and will not eat any vegetables, regardless of how they are prepared. If they are soft cooked, he just spits them out, or throws them on the floor. If it’s on a spoon he turns his head away. He won’t feed them to himself. He likes 4 kinds of fruit: banana, oranges, soft cooked apples, and pear. He will feed himself things like toast, cheese, scrambled eggs and the above fruit. But won’t eat rice or pasta unless cooked really soft and mashed into sauce. He also doesn’t really like meat. I think it’s a texture thing. (My own mother says I didn’t like meat until I was three.) He loves breakfast, which is usually porridge with fruit mixed in and yogurt and milk. He also likes eating bites of our breakfast: toast, bran flakes. And we let him because we feel, if he wants to try what we’re eating, great! He usually eats a lunch of tuna, or sandwich with meat, cheese and avocado, fruit and milk. I’ve tried offering him veggies at lunch and dinner and he refuses. He also always refuses dinner. We offer what we are eating and he gets upset and just throws the food. The problem we have now is, he doesn’t like us feeding him with a spoon or fork. Which makes it difficult to give things like lasagna, soup, risotto. As a result, we’ve tried teaching him to feed himself and he’s very resistant with his arm. So have tried the food on his tray. Sometimes he touches it, but mostly throws it on the floor. Part of the reason we’ve also tried just putting it on his tray is to let him explore and touch and hopefully move it to his mouth. He won’t do this. The other concern, which has started just recently – if I was cooking dinner or making food, he’d come over and try some off of a fork or spoon I would hold out to him. Now if I get down to his level and offer him something he runs away. I never felt I was forcing him and we don’t follow him, but to me it seemed like he was put-off/scared? I don’t know which of your red flags might be him or how to help him. I know he’s young, and that toddlers wax and wane in how much they eat, but I’d like to work on this earlier rather than later. I don’t expect him to like everything given, but my goals are:
1.) He will at least try the food
2.) Feed himself if he doesn’t want us to feed him.
I know not all toddlers are capable of using a spoon or fork at 14 months and it’s a learned skill that can take time. But if he won’t feed himself messier foods with his hands, what can we do? We’ve even tried sensory bowls of food for him to explore and play with on the floor.
If this persists over the next month or so, I do want to get an evaluation. I just worry with covid-19, therapy or treatment won’t be as easily accessible for awhile. Can you make recommendations?
Thank you!
Hey Rachael,
Thanks for reaching out to us! Sounds like you are doing some great things in making sure not to force him. It does sound like part of it could be sensory related if he’s not really touching or exploring the foods. I’d make sure you are doing some food play (even outside of meal times) so that he is able to touch and explore foods and model for him just touching and playing with these foods. If he’s having difficulties with textures, this is where you can continue to work on so that he feels comfortable touching them when in the high chair. I do think it sounds like you were doing great with teaching him how to feed himself. But here is an article on it, in case you missed it! Read about it HERE
Best,
Desiree
Have you tried vegetable pouches?
I know when we were feeding our dog too much she didn’t want to eat anything. It was just too many calories. And I think kids like hot food. They don’t like cold food. They like starches not meat.
Hello, thank you for your blog. My son was a picky eater from the start. he never ate mashed potatoes, hates yoghurt, anything which is soft. Luckily he eats soups and steaks with pasta (no sauce!!). Because he does not eat enough fresh veggies and fruit he gets constipation. then he gets a psychogenic constipation because of the bad experience at the potty. I can only eat him with some screen in front. Otherwise he would chew 2-3 times and he would leave. He never has the patience to stay and eat at the table. With the screen I can feed him with some soup, but without screen he would only eat rice or pasta. So I keep the habit in order to feed him some healthy food which does not constipate him. Not know what to do more.
Hey Ioana,
If you haven’t yet, I’d recommend taking our free picky eating workshop, you will learn tips on how to work on the picky eating and how to set up mealtimes. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hello! (Not sure if you’ll get this, but we are desperate!) My sensory issue boy, 6 years old, won’t eat while others are at the table. He focuses on on them chewing, and it grosses him out to the point where he gags, and has to eat alone. Any tips here??
Hey Molly,
Sounds like you have done a great job at identifying what he is having difficulties with sensory wise! I’d try to see if you can slowly desensitize this, if it is sound based trying headphones. If it is all visual work on him sitting with others or just 1 person eating something simple like crackers and making sure mouth is closed while chewing and move from there! If you are looking to understand his sensory differences more, we do have a free sensory workshop that can help you can save your seat HERE
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Hi my 4yr old boy has always had trouble with texture. Everything still has to be pretty much mashed for him. But for the last year he won’t eat hardly anything. I don’t want him losing weight he only weighs 16kgs but he is tall. He has been diagnosed with autism.
I’m so sorry Amanda! Have you seen the free picky eating workshop, that would be a great place to start, as well as considering feeding therapy:)
Hi my name is Tiffany and I have a 4 year-old nephew who refuses to eat anything other than certain dry cereals without milk, certain yogurt, candy (of coarse), and only Mcdonald’s french fries.
He says ‘real food’ is gross and the smell of it makes him sick.
My family has tried everything to get him to eat other things. He drinks chocolate nutrition drinks, chocolate milk and juice.
Any advice on what we can do to get him to try other foods?
I would recommend getting started with my free picky eating workshop: 3 Keys to Finally Turning Your Picky Eater Around. The workshop gives you my 3 steps that I feel are the foundation for getting picky eating headed in the right direction. I think it would be very helpful for you and would be the first steps you need to take. You can sign up for the workshop here.
Hi,
My son is a little over 3 years old & isn’t so much a picky eater, as he is just not wanting to eat period. He has always been like this. The doctors have him on lots of high calorie Pediasure & actually just up’d his script to Pediasure 1.5 (with fiber for constipation issues). Regular Pediasure is 240 calories & the 1.5 is 350. They want him on 2 per day. This isn’t the problem…he loves his “milk”. If he had it his way this is all he would take in. A miscommunication between GI, the dietician & his pediatrician, to much milk & not enough food is what caused the constipation issues.
So I hold the milk until after he eats, but he will take just 2 bites of dinner & say he’s full.
I should tell you that he was a small baby of 5.13, but was full term. He was exclusively breast fed from birth & didn’t have any milk intake issues until his hospital stay. He was born with TOF & had OHS at 7 weeks old. Followed by cardiac arrest 4 days later. Ever since he was in the CVICU, they (docs, nurses & OT) would force a much larger amount of formula in him, than I knew he could handle. This was a constant battle with them for 30 days. He would barf it up all day every day. They would change his formula brand, ignoring my pleas of “your giving him too much”. I know “they know best”, but so do I as his mother. Ever since the surgery, he doesn’t like to eat. But this feels more like a “no appetite at all” issue, rather than just being a picky eater. Other than he always wants his pediasure.
His vocal cords were slightly damaged from the prolonged breathing tube, so he came home with an NG tube. This was in from day 1 of surgery until after he was home, so about 2 1/2 months.
I have tried the threats, the bargains, rewards, etc., which actually do work but only some of the time. It’s just so exhausting have this same fight with him all day every day, since he started eating solids. I have doctors to report to & face at his check ups, to which he is doing very well considering his hard start in life. We don’t have any feeding therapists close to us, the closest is 3 hours away & I’ve been told that sessions can be up to 3 times a week.
He has no other health issues & is smart as a whip.
He is 3 yrs & 3 months old & just barely weighs 27lbs. I can’t find pants that will fit him & he is still wearing 18 months pants that are too short! He has no problem growing tall, just not wider, lol.
He just now finally joined the 3 percentile group.
Any & all advice is welcome!
Oh my gosh, you’ve had a quite a journey already and I know it’s so difficult! I believe in having a plan, and I teach the most important steps of that in a free workshop. You’ll also learn about a complete picky eating program I have that pulls all the strategies I have together so you know how to help your child. The workshop will give you a great start though. If you have questions afterwards let me know!
Why just offer your workshop? Give some good sound advice in the comments please.
Hi Melissa,
Thanks for reaching out! We suggest our workshop because it’s gives a lot of hands on useful suggestions. It allows us to help the most families possible! If you have a specific questions about your kiddo let us know and we’d love to point you in the right direction of one of our resources!
Best,
Andrea
Hi Alisha,
My neafly 13 month old has been giving me quite a time with self feeding. She simply will not put anything in her mouth herself, be it toys or food. If i give her give her a bite of a biscuit and put it in her hand, she will either refuse to hold it because she wants me to feed her. Or she’ll just play with it in her hands.
She was generally slow to adapt to solids and took her sweet time. Not a picky eater as such, but eats very little before she’s done.
She had a pincer grip and her fine motor skills are fine. What could be wrong?
Some kids will do this, sometimes they’re sensitive to touching the food, they don’t like the way it feels or aren’t sure what to do with it. I have a post that’s just what you need, you can check out How to Teach Your Child to Self Feed
Hi. I’m having trouble with both of my kids. My oldest won’t eat anything for lunch. We have done all sorts of things to make it fun, we’ve let her choose what she wants to eat. We make it and then she just looks at it and says I don’t like that. The only form of calories she wants are goldfish crackers. She holds out as long as she can to get those goldfish crackers. She used to eat everything. It was never a problem until one morning she decided I’m not going to eat. For dinner we eat as a family. She likes to help cook. She won’t eat any of it. She won’t eat anything!! We’ve even given in and tried making her whatever she asked for. We make it and she still doesn’t eat it. It drives is nuts. We spoke to our pediatrician and she said it’s just a phase and she’ll eat when she’s hungry. Problem is she eats a handful of Cheerios for breakfast, maybe a pancake if she’s feeling like it and whatever she decides to graze on during the day. She goes to bed hungry as she usually does then lays there for an hour or so and then says dad dad hey Dad I’m hungry. She comes downstairs and eat the leftover dinner that she just got through saying she didn’t like. I thought that it could be that we eat too early for her so we made dinner later. That just caused her to be overly tired and a whiny mess. I’m at wits end.
Oh it can be sooo frustrating! The good new is that I think a couple of key strategies can make a huge difference for you. I’ve got two resources for you to check out. One is my free workshop – I think this will help the most, strategy #1 is really important. It will go against traditional advice, but it works. It’s a big mental shift though. You can get a spot here.
The other resource is this post on my best picky eating strategy, it’s a two parter, so look for the second part as well. Take a look at those, it’s definitely where I would start:)
Hi my cousin is 3 years old don’t eat unless noodles, chicken, spaghetti and he doesn’t eat rise ..pleas help …
We know it can be such a challenge to watch our family members refuse different foods! We have have a free course that might be a great starting point to give you more ideas on how to help your little cousin. You can save your seat HERE. We hope that helps!
Best,
Andrea
Hi Alisha,
Thank you for sharing. This is the article i was looking for. My 2 year olds son is very picky eaters. I spent time preparing, cooking and serving a meal and he turn his nose up it and push his plate a way. I feel very stress.
I will try cooking the dishes that you have suggested in this post.
Hope he will like it.
Thank you! I hope he does too! Also, if you haven’t already, check out my free workshop on the 3 Keys to Turning Picky Eating Around. I think the tips in there could really help you out. You can sign up here.
I have a 2 year old well 3 next mo. She will cry and hold her tummy say she is so hungry. But when you set her down with what she has ask for. She takes one or two bites and says I am full I done. she is underweight under her eyes are turning dark. We have spells where she wakes crying in a heated sweat and throws up, or she has diarrhea most of the day. This goes on 2 or 3 days then she is ok for a couple days. Then here we go with constipation. We keep taking her to the Dr to hear she has a virus. I am so sick of that word I know something is wrong. They put her on pediasure she started gaining by my request. But now she is getting taller still very thin. Now she is refusing liquid also. What should I do1/ Desperate please help anyone.
Hey Amanda,
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this and seem to be getting no help from the doctor. I do think you are on the right track with maybe there is more of an underlying medical cause. Have to tried to see if she can get in with a GI doctor for them to check her out. Also as far as constipation here is an Article that helps with foods and other tips.
Best,
Desiree
Hi,
I work in care and we experience lots of kids who find it difficult to eat new foods or seem “picky.” This article is very interesting in explaining how their oral-motor skills, sensory and behaviours may play a part in this. Do you have any advice on being able to introduce new foods to older children?
Thanks
Sure, a lot of the same strategies apply, they just need tweaked a little. I’d focus on family style serving of food, if you can. Let them know they don’t have to eat it, but they need to take it on their plate, this is a great first step. They can take as little as they want. Cooking together is also great!
They enjoy the process of cooking, but have no interest in the actual product (unless it’s cupcakes), even if they see that it is filled with all ingredients that they like.
That can be the case sometimes. It’s certainly just one of many strategies. I’d try picking some recipes they may be more inclined to eat. Also, any touching or smelling of the food they do is a great opportunity. I’d focus on keeping the activity positive and enjoying time together.
My kid is 6 years old and he is a very picky eater since 2 years old. He’s still drink formula milk and won’t eat real meal. Even Happy Meal won’t spark him an interest except the toys they provided within. What should I do?
I know that can be very frustrating! In my free workshop, I give you my best 3 tips to get you started.
Hi I am struggling with my 4 year old. I believe her eating problems are purely behavioral but have been combating it for 2 years now with little improvement. She will eat foods she likes: hot dog, pizza, Mac and cheese, fruit, or crackers no problem but anything else is a battle. We have tried every method possible and she does not care. She would rather be hungry and complain than eat something new. Right now she is being sent straight to bed after dinner but it hasn’t deterred her issue at all. I’m not much of an accommodater. I believe they need to learn to eat real food and be sitting with the family at meal times. Everyone will finish but she will be sitting there still barley touching her food. It causes a power struggle that we are so exhausted with. Any advice?
Hi Jackie, I totally understand where you’re coming from and respect it. I do use a different approach, I wouldn’t call it accommodating, but would say that it is about boundaries. It is based on Ellyn Satter’s research. If you’d like to learn more I teach my 3 core principles in this workshop: yourkidstable.com/free
Hey Alisha, my 4 year old sister only eats mash potato, spaghetti and chicken nuggets from McDonald’s as meals. She snacks on honey sandwiches, homemade jam sandwiches, Nutella sandwiches, twist bars, most fruits and anything sweet like biscuits, ice cream, chocolate etc. she was a great eater for the first year and a half of life, but it has been bad for far too long now. Tonight we had stir fry for dinner. She smelt it, said it smelt good. Licked it, said it tasted good. Then she ate a pea out of it whilst crying and making weird noises even though she said it tasted good AND she always eats peas when she eats Spaghetti. So there should’ve been no issue… I don’t understand and I don’t know how to help her or what our next steps should be. We eat at the table, we encourage her to smell, lick new foods. I don’t know what to do now. Please help
The picky eating thing can be really confusing! I would recommend reading my articles on The Best Strategy for Picky Eating and 5 Reasons Kids Refuse to Eat. I think that will be a big help!
My son is 4.5 year old. He will not eat nothing. His food is very limited. He will only eat peanut butter, chocolate cream cheese and Nutella. He will only eat 2 or 3 time a day 3 to 5 half full of tea spoons ever time. Drinking only water and orange juice occasionally. He will not try or eat anything else. His feeding started to trend down at age 15 months. I have attended for years all the workshops, worked with OT, resource consultant, took him to the doctor, now I am working with feeding clinic at sick kids.
He is growing, and he is not getting any better with the feeding. He is starting to loose weight and his feeding is getting worse. Until today no one knows what is wrong with him. I am looking for help.
I’m so sorry to hear all of that angham. It must be very overwhelming. I do have a comprehensive picky eater program, that would teach you how to use my techniques at home and get to the bottom of what is going on. You can find out more at yourkidstable.com/mealtime-works
My son is 4 years old , very thin. always unhappy. he is not eating enough means if he gets break past then he will not take lunch. he also suffers from pain in his legs even if he stayed at home all day.
give him some ice small pieces
it will open his appetite
chicken pieces and long noodles you have to play with it,give him vanilla shake ,water and aloe vera drink with straw you suck it making noise and don’t look at him he will mimic
Do you have any insight on throwing up? Our 20 month old is currently in intensive feeding therapy (behavioral method). He was born with a cleft lip & palate and due to surgeries at a young age – he has developed oral motor delays and has sensory issues with eating. He has been g-tube fed since 9 days old due to aspirating thin liquids. We were able to start purees at 5 months old and he did great! Then he had his palate surgery at 9 months old and he had some eating restrictions while he recovered. He went back to purees when the restrictions were lifted. We then started thickening pediasure when he turned 1 year old & he started refusing the purees as we were transitioning to table foods…he started out great… but then a downhill battle began when he started drinking all of his calories and wanted nothing to do with table foods. When we enrolled in the feeding program, he was eating about 5 bites of meltable solids a day and drinking 24 oz of 1.5 pediasure while we did 15 oz of water flushes through the g-tube. After 3 months of feeding therapy he is learning how to chew and he now accepts purees again. We give him 12 oz of 1.0 pediasure, 12 oz of thickened water, and 16-20 oz of pureed table foods spoon fed to him per day. Unfortunately – he has started vomiting at least one full meal (8-10 oz) while he is eating per day for the last 8 weeks. We are so lost and we aren’t getting much feedback/help from the feeding team. We made an appointment with a GI (he never had one before)- but won’t get in for at least another month. He doesn’t give us any signs that he is about to throw-up until about 30 seconds before it happens…. and he will go right back to eating right after he does. Any ideas???
**Sorry – meant 16 oz of thickened pediasure**
Daycare, family members, etc. think he’s just getting “too much”… Nutritionist says he needs all the calories… Therapists don’t know why…
Throwing up is something I’ve seen before! Have you tried tracking what meal it is? Also, are you force feeding (no judgement) or using distractions to feed him? Its possible he’s getting overly full, even if it doesn’t seem he should be. Is it possible to get a second opinion from a nutrionist or spread his meals out more so that he isn’t eating as much at one meal? Is their any chance its allergies to dairy, a particular fruit, soy, etc.? I’ve seen that response due to allergy as well.
My son was what I would call a normal picky eater up until about 6 weeks ago. He would eat okay. Wouldn’t try manynew foods but had a solid list of things he would eat regularly including 5-10 fruits. He doesn’t eat anyvegetables. About 6 weeks ago iur whole family had a stomach bug and we ate very little. It seems since then he eats less and less types of foods. He now will only eat applesauce, no other whole fruits that he did before. He is picky about the crust on nuggets and spits out some foods at the end of chewing saying he can’t swallow. He is a very stubborn 5 year old and low weight. I am just not sure if this will improve with some of these strategies or we need more intervention from a feedimg specialist. Its very stressful.
Oh Marcie, that’s a tricky situation and sometimes this happens after a major illness. Try to keep up with your normal routine. I’d also really look into the sensory aspect (click through those links in the post). Helping him get used to textures could be really helpful. Also, get him to help cook, tell him in the morning he’s going to help that day and give him a few reminders. That can be great for getting him used to foods again.
As for feeding therapy, its a tough call, it never hurts to get him looked at! Let me know if you need more help!
My son is 5 years old and he don’t want to eat for 4 days now. All he can eat is just snacks & and he than develops behaviour changes of crying every night & some times insulting my mother when he I’d insists to sleep with the lights on at night. He’s not staying with me as a mother but with my mother. Pls help.
Hi Anna, so stressful, I get it! Did you see the second part of the post for How to Get Kids To Eat- I just updated, but I’d take a look at that closely. There are a lot of links in there. I’d take you time and look at one at a time, focusing first on the positive eating and routine. I know it sounds silly, but getting these two down pat can be total gamechangers.
My son is Autistic, he’s just turned 4 and he refuses to eat. He only eats oats in the morning, 3-5 spoons, 25mmls full cream milk (out of a bottle and teat) in between and sometimes 2-4 spoons of porridge and when he eats well he’ll have 15 spoons. But this is not consistently, some days he will just have his milk 4-5 days a week. Is this enough for him?
Sorry that should be 250mls of milk
Its hard to say, I’d ask if he is growing well- your pediatrician would tell you if he wasn’t. Is it 250 ml’s just once a day? I will say most kids benefit from about 16 oz a day when they are eating a varied diet. Of course there are often many layers to a child with autism not eating. I know it can be very overwhelming to say the least. Is feeding therapy an option? I’d also recommend clicking here, I have several articles organized there for kids in your son’s situation with eating that may be helpful. Lastly, did you see the free workshop for picky eaters, I’m doing two live next week!
4 year-old only eats baby food and junk food. Won’t touch table food like fruit, veggies or meat. Tried daycare where the food was ALL that was offered for 12 hours, with other kids (and it was good, catered food) and she refused it. This was at 20 months. At 17 months she stopped eating, just stopped. Baby formula, still, so she does not get anemic! She is 4 now. Will she really outgrow it? She screams if she smells food or is near it. Nobody pays much attention as she has 6 siblings. She has never had dinner with us. She eats mostly cheese. That is the one thing she does like that’s not total junk. 98 for height and weight. She does not eat a healthy diet, and I can see she will struggle with being chubby at this rate. I hate that she won’t eat any healthy food. She eats baby food and it’s $1.50 for every big slurp of a puree pouch. Otherwise she would never get any fruit or vitamins from fruit. She costs more to feed than all the other kids!
I’m so sorry, I know how stressful this is, truly! I’ve worked with so many kids in similar instances. I don’t like when people say they will outgrow, many won’t, and if its possible I’d look into getting her some more help- one or more of these underling issues are probably in play. I have a new article that might be of some help, everything about feeding therapy. Also, I have A LOT of resources on this site, if you want to start working on it home, I’d start here.
Take a look at these and let me know if you have any questions!
My wife had serious childhood eating issues. She would refuse to eat and was malnourished as a young child. I remember my in-laws saying jokingly(pretty sick) that my wife would only eat ice-cream for about 3 years. I think this may have had several causes. 1. My mother-in-law didn’t like cleaning up after small children ate, so she would repeatedly tell her kids they were messy/bad. 2. My mother-in-law would often refuse to cook, and my father-in-law and mother-in-law would argue about this in front of the kids. When this happened, my father-in-law would just grill burgers. I have heard my wife and brother-in-law say that they ate hamburgers almost every night for dinner as kids. To this day my wife will not touch a hamburger.
Thanks for your sharing. Now, I know some tips to help my little brothers.
Didn’t find any point that would answer our situation. Teeth were not mentioned at all. So my dd (5yo) had stuck some meat in between her teeth, that wasn’t possible to floss out untill it rotted (two visits at dentist..) then it was confirmed a cavity was formed (on a third visit). Dd started to avoid meat altogether. Iron level droped dramatically. Now she is moody, taking iron drops, looks like a skeleton and even tho is hungry refuses to eat what is served (by her own choice). I am lost at how to get her back to eating.
Hi Laura- this would fall under medical, there are so many medical issues that it would be impossible for me to list them all. It sounds like the pain from the cavity causes a negative association with food. I have so many resources here for picky eaters, click on the this and you will find a few articles to take you through. Take a look and let me know if you have any questions!
Hello and thank you so much.
My 3 year old daughter is spitting out her food. She used to eat rice, pasta, grilled chicken, even at places like Chili’s and Olive Garden. Lately, she started to chew on her food and spit it out after it is in liquid form.
She has stopped eating crackers and bread which she loved. Now, she is just eating baby cereal, yogurt, milk, pediasure, and fruit puree. She is energetic about getting the food in her mouth, but chews and chews to then spit it out.
We’ve shed so many tears lately because we don’t know what to do. Any help will be really appreciated. Thank you.
Hey ,
I am in the exact same situation about a week ago my daughter(5) who is a good eater and loves her fruits and veggies refuses to eat hard foods she says she feels like she is going o choke when it is going down, she has never been like this and she is chewing any food she is eating for ages before she swallows it . I am starting to worry 🙁
Hey Caroline, I’m so sorry, I’m sure this is tremendously stessful. Have you had her checked by the doctor? Her throat could be sore, her tonsils or adenoids could be enlarger as well. I’d get an appointment scheduled- hope that helps!
I’ve just stumbled across your site and I’m excited to learn more about how to help my 2.5 YO eat better. I think his issue is a combination of mechanics and sensory. He used to struggle with fast let-down when he breast fed and now he will chew chicken, meat or pasta and then spit it out or gag once the broth/juice is gone. He loves fruit and veggies. Don’t get me started on him gagging on butternut squash or beets. The weird thing is when he was on an appetite stimulant last month because he was ill, he was eating anything and everything. Does this mean it’s not a mechanics issue? I tend to default to him being stubborn but your website has helped me understand that’s not the case. I’m just having trouble zero-ing in on what his issue(s) is/are. He has to be entertained in order to eat and is more likely to eat if he’s on the couch watching TV but I won’t fall into these bad habits. Thanks in advance.
Hey Nancy! I know you’re in the Mealtime Works Lite class now, which is going to be so great for you, BUT I wanted to answer you here too! This is really interesting… you know it sounds more sensory to me, but I’m sure is coupled with some learned behaviors. Mealtime works is going to give you a solid plan, for sure. If you put everything in place and still feel like there’s room for more improvement let me know (as we talked about in the email) because the modules that you’re missing are for those underlying issues. So glad you’re in class Nancy:)
Thanks for the great post. after reading this i feel i still have hope that my son can start eating coarse foods. My son is 21 months and do not eat coarse foods. When i blend the food to a paste he eats it. When i give him biscuits/crackers he will take a bite and chew but will not swallow. if i give him rice blended a bit coarse he will use his hand to remove the food in his mouth and will not swallow it. After reading this I really could not see where my son fits 🙁
It’s great article. Many Thanks I thing it’s very important mom to know all solution of feeding problems and I already write it in my blog.
My son stop eating his normal food and more likely to fond of junk food like chips, normal bread and apple juice only. His normal food behaviour was normal which has been changed last 2 months. Good thing is, he still active and drinking lots of water and his digestion seems pretty good. In that case to change his food behaviour what we can do?
I would always offer other alternatives. Don’t let him choose his own foods, but always have one food at a meal that he eats at least 50% of the time. I think it would be very helpful for you to head to the “start here” button in the menu bar. You will find step by step tips to get you started on the right track. Take a look at that and let me know if you have questions!
Your place is valueble for me. Thanks!…
Thank you for sharing. It can be frustrating to help your child eat their food. For me, my eldest loses her appetite right before a growth spurt, and once it passes she starts eating like crazy again and asking for seconds or thirds. This started when she was about 2.5 years. She is now 3.5 years. Most recently we’ve dealt with constipation issues with her, so it’s a challenge to decifer sometimes why she’s not eating.
I don’t know if other children go through appetite loss,but I thought I’d share in the event another mom struggles with that.
Thanks that is helpful, and very intuitive of you!
You forget something: also mostly overlooked by most doctors is the reason for most acid reflux cases, stomach pain and all kinds of vague symptoms, namely a FOOD ALLERGY (most common cowmilk). So only the symptom is treated, not the cause, and since most kids overgrow their food allergy after a year, the inital culprit is never identified. Later on, there kids will often get tubes in their ears, and other problems that are mostly not linked to the cause.
Wow, look at all these comments! I’m definitely going to pick this website apart for help, but I have one question for you in the meantime. My almost 4 year old “front-loads” his calories (meaning he eats almost non-stop until about 2 pm and then will not eat after that no matter what. Well, that was the case for about 2 years. I think he has finally gotten through that but is stuck in the habit of it. So eating dinner is still a major issue almost every night. Can you recommend any tips to get him eating dinner? This kid was born in the 95th percentile, and stayed that way. Now he has been 37 lbs for a year straight. Any tips are appreciated! Thank you!
My child has been a “picky eater” since birth, and I’ve never been given good advice how to deal with this. The blame/fault has always been placed on us as parents, when nothing I’ve tried has ever worked. It wasn’t until one of my patients (yes, I’m in medical field, but I think sometimes the pediatricians ignore our mother instincts more so) who was a pediatric therapist, talked to me about picky eating, and the light bulb went off. My child has sensory issues! So, my question is, now that she’s already 7, would it still be worthwhile to try therapy of some kind?
Thanks for your comment, I hear similar stories all the time! I have a whole post now on sensory processing and picky eating, you can find that by searching in the side bar or hitting the article index in the menu bar. To answer your question though, no she is definitely not too old. Just make sure you find an experienced therapist, don’t hesitate to interview the company you go with ahead of time to make sure they will be a good fit.
I just read this site because of my daughter behavior ,i like this site,am having a serious problem with my 1 year 10 months daughter is,i have to force my child to eat,she run alway anytime she sees food,she love drinking water more than food,she can keep all the food in her mouth without swallowing it,but when it to comes to eating fish , meat and chicken she will eat it,she hate vegetables and the only fruits she eat is banana and orange ,she can finish 5liter of water in 3 to 4days ,am worried because she keep losing weight and the doctor said there’s nothing wrong with her,she love yoghurt and water more than anything,please what should i do.
Hey Ruby,
So sorry you are having trouble with your daughter. I’d first work on allowing her to complete some play with the non-preferred foods outside of mealtimes to get her used to touching/engaging with them (this is the first step to eating). We do have a free workshop as well that would be helpful information for you! You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hi Alisha. My daughter is a former 27.5 weeker preemie, she’ll be 5 in April. Up until about a month ago, she was a fabulous eater…especially with veggies and steak. All of a sudden she basically stopped eating. She doesn’t have any particular thing she likes anymore except protein drinks…and all beef hot dogs some days. She’s losing weight and I’m very concerned that she’s withering away quickly. She claims she “hates food” but when I ask her why, she says she doesn’t remember. I know with her being a preemie she’s apt to have sensory issues, but I don’t understand why all of a sudden. Any input would be greatly appreciated!!!
I have to say that is fairly unusual, and my guess would be that either something negative happened during eating or there is something medical going on. She may have choked or gagged unexpectedly on a piece of food, which would have created a negative response and then she started to refuse food. Now she is in the habit and can’t remember why it started. Medically, she could be constipated, have stomach pain (possibly from reflux), a loose tooth that is painful, or molars erupting. Try to dig a little more to see if you can get to the route of the problem but don’t obsess over it. If you can’t figure it out and this continues I would consider having her seen by a GI docotor just to rule anything out more serious. In the meantime, offer her regular meals, including some of her most highly preferred foods. Don’t pressure her at all and eat together talking about other things. I wouldn’t even praise her for eating well, because that can be pressure to. Good luck, I hope that helps!
I didn’t read all the comments, so this may have been mentioned. My kids will stop eating a food if it’s hard for them to get it into their mouths. For example, my son will eat a bowlful of soup if I feed it to him but stop after a few bites if I leave him to it. He will eat a good sized sandwich if I hold it and help him take bites, but will leave it on his plate if I don’t. I decided I don’t want eating to be a test of whether or not he can hold his food! He’s nearly 4 and I’m more than willing to help him finish food he truly likes by holding the item or utensil for him. He’ll learn eventually (and of course I always have him try a few bites himself too).
Also, consider food allergies (and this may be related to reflux). I firmly believe that sometimes (not always) children will refuse a food they know will cause some kind of reaction, whether it’s just digestive discomfort, mouth itchiness, or true allergy.
Yours are great tips and thanks for opening up this conversation! Let’s quit making food a battleground 🙂
Thanks Diane, yes good points to consider! I think if the helping with feeding is okay with you and it is working for your family that’s great!
As a pediatric OT as well I feel this is a very well written article….BUT there is one CRITICAL piece I feel is missing that would make it even better! 😉 Food sensitivities! “You are what you eat” is true and I have spent the last 5 years of my practice educating myself on what is in foods today and how it is affecting our brains, bodies, development etc. and then guiding families through elimination trials. I have seen even the pickiest of eaters turn around sometimes dramatically in only a few months, constipation and reflux stop when milk is eliminated, sleep and diarrhea stop when wheat and gluten are removed, sensory defensive seem to disappear with eliminations, kids begin to eat new foods and enjoy foods, ear infections stop completely after milk is eliminated….I could go on and on. you said that your son’s constipation started at a year and interestingly I hear that often because it’s when most kids start on cow’s milk–timing is everything. I also often hear that ear infections begin shortly after a year. Overall, what is in our food today is appalling. I would highly recommend the book “Cure Your Child with Food’ by Kelly Dorfman for more insight–nope I have no affiliations with it at all, but I have recommended it to many families and then guided them through implementing some of the recommendations with great success 😉 Thanks for this article!…Just wanted to share that with you though as another piece to the puzzle 😉 God Bless.
Thank you so much Bridget for sharing that!!! This post was written a few years ago, and I should update it again to include this. I am much more aware of these dietary issues now. I found Kelly’s book earlier this year and featured it in a constipation series, it was wonderful. My older two boys now only have milk seldomly and surprise, surprise the constipation issues have nearly resolved! I’m curious, did you take any continuing education courses in particular that you would recommend regarding the food sensitivities? Thanks again!
I would like some help thanks
My child is 9 years old she hasn’t eaten or drinking or talking for 5 days now, I just need help
Can you give me a little more information… Have they been sick? Are they a picky eater?
My 6 year old niece came to stay at my house for a couple of days but she has trouble eating and she is anemic as well. I am worried because she simply refuses to eat solid food. For example i ordered pizza and she started crying after we told er to eat it, she continued to pick apart to pizza when we asked her what she was doing she said that she didnt like the sauce so she wouldnt eat it. Another example of this is she doesnt like egg whites even if they are scrambled she will cry and refuse to eat. The only thing she will eat is junk food which we dont allow her to eat but it is really stressful because her nose has been bleeding and i want to know if someone else has this problem with their child.
It sounds like she has some picky eating difficulties. I would get in touch with her parents and see what they normally do. I would expose her to as much as possible, but have at least one food there that she likes. Some kids will not eat eventually, they will go hungry.
My 6 year old niece came to stay at my house for a couple of days but she has trouble eating and she is anemic as well. I am worried because she simply refuses to eat solid food. For example i ordered pizza and she started crying after we told er to eat it, she continued to pick apart to pizza when we asked her what she was doing she said that she didnt like the sauce so she wouldnt eat it. Another example of this is she doesnt like egg whites even if they are scrambled she will cry and refuse to eat. The only thing she will eat is junk food which we dont allow her to eat but it is really stressful because her nose has been bleeding and i want to know if someone else has this problem with their child.
są łatwe odzwierciedlić całość rzeczy ślubnych, sumarycznie spośród bliskimi, jeżeli czekają iż naznaczenie się na nie dostarczy im zaobserwowaną pociecha.
Istnieją diabelnie nieszczere a gdyby racja wówczas potrafię ugadać – stałe.
W 4 trafach na 5 dobitnie kandydaty zostawieniem uregulowań do zbitego inwentarza.
My 4 year old son will only eat ready made meals for 1-2 year old children, and a selected few other foods, he was always a great eater however he developed repeat tonsillitis and as a result had his tonsils removed. After the opp he stopped eating as he in my option associates food with pain? We have tried everything we can think off getting him to spend time with other kids his age at meal times, talking to him getting him to help prepare meals etc.
I consider his issues to be physiological and wonder if any body has been through a similar situation?
Gary, this can happen as well. Kids will have a negative experience and then they get stuck in a rut, as they are scared to branch out. I just did a review on an awesome new book, very easy to read that I think would be really helpful. See the article index in the menu bar or the home page: Helping your Child with Extreme Picky Eating. Try removing all pressure for him to eat other foods, make sure he always has something he likes at all meals, and eat with him so he sees other foods being eaten. Also, serve all foods family style so that he can take as little as he wants and begin to interact with it in a positive way. You may see changes in a few days or few weeks. Anything new is progress.
My 1.5 yo has always been on the picky side. Whenever I would make something new it never was a big hit. And when I seemed to find something she liked, the next time i would make it for her, she wouldn’t take a bite. Well she went through the teething process a bit earlier than most babies so most of the time I would write it off as that. I feel like now there’s always at least one meal a day that’s a struggle. One thing that I find has helped was to not make her so much food at once! I felt like it was necessary to try to have one thing from every food group for each meal, trying to over compensate for the nutrition she wasn’t getting. Well, if I make her only 2 different things for a meal I find that she eats a lot better than if she has an abundance of food in front of her. Hope this tip can help a momma out there! I think it would be a great read if someone did a follow up on this article on tips to help your picky eater for each of these categories!
Thanks Candice for the tip and suggestion. If you are looking for more on picky eating, see the article index in the menu bar… you will find A LOT more strategies there.
You may have just given me the answer. My son HATES fruit. People are constantly frowning at me and trying to force me to force my son to eat fruit. Most kids love grapes, melon etc., not my son. Even when he was a baby he would spit it out. When he was old enough he would tell me “it’s slimy Mum. It’s yucky”. When I read the sensory processing section, it all just clicked. Now, at the age of 7, nothing has changed and I have given up on the fruit completely. There is list of other things that are forbidden as well but I can usually incorporate them into other dishes that he will eat. I try to get him those vitamins he is missing out on through kids vitamins, fruit bars etc. For everyone else out there going through this, I feel your pain. Hang in there
Thanks so much for your comment Carmen, and good job being patient and understanding with you son!
I am now 19 years old. I LOVED fruits and veggies as a toddler, but somewhere around 5 I stopped altogether. I am very big on texture issues (ex: rice) and smell. I have tried fequently to eat healthier and integrate suvh things back into my diet, but nothing has truly stuck. It is a HUGE concern of mine, and since I am older, I do know tastes change. Have any of you experienced this yourself or your children?
Thanks so much for sharing your experience Amy! I’m curious have you experienced any other sensory sensitivities? Do you not like getting dirty or do certain types of clothes bother you? It is a little unusual for sensory preferences to change at that age, but you may have had an experience that left an impression and it kind of created a “rut” in the way you process that information since then. For example, if you were sick and vomiting a lot.
Aisha, it is definitely hard to say. I have had depression since I was 7, and developed more mental health issues that could have also led to this. I know around that time I still ate school lunches, sanwhiches and freezer foods, and even home cooked meals. I also remember just sleeping at the table or crying until I threw up if anyone tried the “wont leave the table until you eat these …”. I can not remember anything severe enough to inprint these habits, except maybe medicines (that were definitely NOT cherry/grape). I really wish I knew!
Thanks for the reply Amy. I was just wondering because it helps give me insight into the feelings that kids may be experiencing, but can’t articulate. And that is why I never recommend instituting that rule! Wishing you the best.
hello, I googled “my kid is not eating” and i have been reading through different websites looking for answers.
I see your post was written about 2 years ago, I hope the blog still works. I am commenting all the way from Nigeria Africa. My two year old stopped eating abruptly, its my first child so im getting a little worried hence why i turned to google. He was a great eater who ate everything and just as he was turning 2 in april just suddenly stopped. I thought maybe he was ill but he’s energy level hasn’t dropped, he is a super active boy. I read your article but i cant seem to place him under any category seeing as he just stopped eating suddenly. I dont know what to do sometimes i get so frustrated and start crying. please help!!!1
Hello from Nigeria! I am still here! First, have you checked with a doctor just to make sure that there isn’t anything medical going on. Second, I would encourage you to keep things consistent by offering regular meals- see my eating basics tab in the menu bar. Give him a highly preferred meal and keep it positive, no stress, no pressure. Hopefully, this will pass, but you don’t want to make it worse. Let me know how it goes.
Non of these articles helped me figure out what my daughters problem is.. she is 2 1/2yrs.. still don’t chew anything solid.. there ia nothing she likes to eat.. we have tried in many different ways.. routine and non routine.. with other kids.. alone.. infront of tv .. but nothing works.. she just hate food.. only thing she like is her milk bottle at bed time around 6pm and at early morning around 6am. Even doctors give this same advice in this article.. but i dont know what to do anymore
I’m sorry this hasn’t been helpful to you. If she isn’t chewing food there is likely a sensory component or a difficulty with chewing. Sometimes these difficulties aren’t obvious and require the help of a professional. I have worked with many families in similar situations and know how stressful the situation is. Even though a routine isn’t going to help anything over night it is the first step. If you are able I would strongly recommend seeing an OT or SLP that specializes in feeding. Please feel free to email me if you have more concerns (alisha@yourkidstable.com) Lastly, there is a new book that I will be reviewing next week: Helping Your Child With Extreme Picky Eating by Katja Rowell- I highly recommend it.
I have been researching information about why my daughter doesn’t eat, and I came across your page. It was the best breakdown about why a child wouldn’t be eating that I have found. My daughter will be 3 in 2 months, and has always been an “okay” eater. I think that she would fall into the “mechanics” area because she has always held food in her cheeks, spit it out, sometimes gagging and throwing it up. Once I realized what she was doing I would limit how much she would have in her mouth, make the pieces/sizes smaller so it was easier to chew, and she did better. I would show her how I chewed, and then swallowed once it was chewed. She seemed to be doing a lot better. However, this past week she has slowly declined. She has seems upset/anxious if she has eaten the “bad” part of the food and that it is still in her stomach. (Her vocabulary is quite large, and so she does explain herself half decent.) When I tell her she ate the good part, she still cries and tells me she ate the bad part. This has happened every day for the past week, and this scenario (eating, worrying/crying, comforting her, eating the same thing, wanting to get it out of her). She is at my mother’s and MIL’s house when I work part time during the week, so I don’t know if something was said to make her afraid of eating a bad part. I have talked to them, and they have said she does the same thing, but they can’t think of what would have been said. For the last day and half she refuses all food, and says she will only drink chocolate milk. I give her foods she normally loved, and she refuses them saying “I don’t want to eat anymore.” I don’t know if this is a phase, if I should contact her pediatrician, or something more drastic. Please help. I would appreciate it!
It sounds like she may have had a bad experience with food or heard something as you expected. She is so young so reasoning with her will probably not get you far. I would try to change up the routine by eating out or having a picnic- something fun. Also, keep mealtimes no pressure at all and talk about something else. Tell her it is her choice if she eats (which it really is), but you are going to sit down for the meal. Make sure she has some highly preferred foods there as well. That doesn’t mean you have to totally cater to her though. The goal right now is for her to feel no pressure and have positive experiences at meals. Let me know how it goes after a few days.
I am at a loss. My 6 year old refuses to eat anything, his favorite foods, snack food, candy anything. This has been going on for a long time. The only way we get him to eat is to sit with him and literally tell him to take a bit, chew, swallow, take another bite, and on. It’s to the point he is not gaining weight and his pediatrician is concerned because he hasn’t gained weight in a year. Physically he is fine we have run just about every medical test to confirm there is nothing wrong which are all normal. We are now giving him an Ensure Plus shake with 2 extra scoops of Ensure powder in it every night before bed just to get calories into him (which again we have to tell him take a drink and swallow, and another). We have talked to nutritionist with no help. He sees a therapist for his ADHD and ODD and his eating is discussed but it doesn’t change. We’ve had people he looks up to talk to him about it but nothing changes. I am at a complete loss. The Dr is talking about a feeding tube if something doesn’t change. I am looking for any suggestions or things to try because I am at a complete and utter loss on what to do.
Oh my gosh Nikki, I’m so sorry. I can imagine how difficult this situation is. Has he always been this way or did it change at some point? Have you ever seen an OT or speech therapist that specializes in feeding? There is no pressure, but I am available for consults, you can find out more in the menu bar.
Hi, I’ve been going through so many eating articles where ever i can find them, and basically all the advice boils down to is “they’ll eat when they are hungry”. This is so frustrating, when you don’t have a frame of reference as to gauge for how long you can let this go on, or if there’s really something else you should be looking into. My son now almost 4 was born at 7 months. We followed all the guidelines given by his doc and he gained weight and was on track by 12mnths. I gave him all types of food (yes ALL) when I fed him. Then when he started finger foods, he was really good at it, eating even noodles by himself. Ofcourse i still fed him most of the food in between. But at 1.5yrs, he stopped everything. Wouldn’t sit at the table, wouldn’t eat hardly anything, I had to continue baby food for longer than I wanted to. for about a year, he would only eat either store bought fries, chips, plain pasta/speghetti/noodles, fish/chicken. He survived on milk/yoghurt/juice till he was almost 2.5 yrs. Things have improved a lot now. He eats a wider range of things. But now, its been a struggle getting him to feed himself. few days ago I decided I can’t keep on feeding him, and told him he can either eat himself, what he’s given for meals, or not. I was not going to make substitute meals and I was not going to feed him. two days now, he refuses lunch and dinner altogether. wakes up in the middle of the night from hunger and keeps me awake. The second night I offered the banana he didn’t eat at dinner, and he refused. So I said, fine, if you’re not hungry, you can go back to sleep. He was awake and crying till dawn!. This is so hard to see. How long do I keep this on for? My husband can’t tolerate seeing him going to bed hungry, and it’s really hard for me too. 🙁
He’s always been fussy with textures ever since we started feeding him. He can take crunchy food, or semi-liquids like yoghurt, but never mixed together. Like even now, he won’t eat yoghurt with fruit bits. All his food needs to be separated, Rice, chicken, veggies. Unless I force feed him, he will not take two types together most of the time, but will eat them separately. And it takes aages for him to try a new food. But I have no idea how this sensitivity to textures has anything to do with his willingness to eat.
Please help.
Hello, I totally understand your frustration, but wanted to see if you have read a lot on my site. I do not advocate just letting them go hungry, ever. There is a TON of info on here. I would ask you to start with the eating basics tab in the menu bar and then click on the links at the end to get started with more advanced strategies. I encourage you to follow a slower approach instead of going cold turkey on the feeding. Read that article and then get back to me if you need more help. Also, make sure you ALWAYS have one food he likes at every meal, serve him the rest of what you are eating as well and try to make this coordinate with the rest of your meal.
Hi, I’ve been going through so many eating articles where ever i can find them, and basically all the advice boils down to is “they’ll eat when they are hungry”. This is so frustrating, when you don’t have a frame of reference as to gauge for how long you can let this go on, or if there’s really something else you should be looking into. My son now almost 4 was born at 7 months. We followed all the guidelines given by his doc and he gained weight and was on track by 12mnths. I gave him all types of food (yes ALL) when I fed him. Then when he started finger foods, he was really good at it, eating even noodles by himself. Ofcourse i still fed him most of the food in between. But at 1.5yrs, he stopped everything. Wouldn’t sit at the table, wouldn’t eat hardly anything, I had to continue baby food for longer than I wanted to. for about a year, he would only eat either store bought fries, chips, plain pasta/speghetti/noodles, fish/chicken. He survived on milk/yoghurt/juice till he was almost 2.5 yrs. Things have improved a lot now. He eats a wider range of things. But now, its been a struggle getting him to feed himself. few days ago I decided I can’t keep on feeding him, and told him he can either eat himself, what he’s given for meals, or not. I was not going to make substitute meals and I was not going to feed him. two days now, he refuses lunch and dinner altogether. wakes up in the middle of the night from hunger and keeps me awake. The second night I offered the banana he didn’t eat at dinner, and he refused. So I said, fine, if you’re not hungry, you can go back to sleep. He was awake and crying till dawn!. This is so hard to see. How long do I keep this on for? My husband can’t tolerate seeing him going to bed hungry, and it’s really hard for me too. 🙁
He’s always been fussy with textures ever since we started feeding him. He can take crunchy food, or semi-liquids like yoghurt, but never mixed together. Like even now, he won’t eat yoghurt with fruit bits. All his food needs to be separated, Rice, chicken, veggies. Unless I force feed him, he will not take two types together most of the time, but will eat them separately. And it takes aages for him to try a new food. But I have no idea how this sensitivity to textures has anything to do with his willingness to eat.
Please help.
Greetings from Slovenia. I came across your article and could not help but wonder if you have some experience and suggestion how to transition from the feeding tube back to eating normally. Our daughter, who has autism, suddenly stopes eating, presumably due to a GI infection. Although al the test came back negative, doctors still suspected infection, because od the symptoms. She was eating plenty before. Somewhat strict a out the texture of food (preferred smoothies and dried fruit and pumpkin seeds — two extreme ends of the solid specter of food)
However, she suddenly refused to eat and needed an NG tube.
She has had the tube now for a few months and we are exploring ways in helping her transition back to eating. Do you have any suggestions and experience in overcoming this sort of aversion?
Many thanks!!!
Very good question and something I haven’t covered here. I have a little bit of experience with this. It is important to give oral feedings with the tube feed so they can begin to make the association that when they have something in their mouth they feel full. Keep it really positive and take your time.
My son is 2 1/2 and he seems to be on a one food diet. He used to only eat peanut butter sandwich for a while, but he now refuses it and will only eat eggo(waffles). I don’t think he has problems with chewing and swallowing as he is fine with crackers and cereal. He drinks 2 cups of milk a day, loves yogurt.. I keep giving him new foods for him to try but he refuses to open his mouth and runs away. He isn’t underweight or short for his age buy I’m worried about his health. He does get constipated often but I’m thinking that’s due to eating only carbohydrates. I’m really at a loss as to what to do. I’ve spoken to nutritionists and all they say is to keep introducing foods and be patient, but for how long???
I know how frustrating this. Unfortunately, I don’t have an easy answer for you. I would recommend starting with the eating basics tab and the articles I recommend at the end. That will get you started. If you want to talk in depth see my consulting services also in the menu bar.
My son is 2 years old and these last couple of months he is not eating well. First he stopped eating lunch, than started skipping breakfast and now dinner too. lt might be a reaction to the baby (3 months old) but whatever the reason I don’t know how to make him eat. He drinks a lot of milk but that’s it. I could really use some advice. Thanks.
I have a TON of information on this site. See the eating basics and article index tabs in the menu bar for lots of detailed info to get started. After reading some of those articles don’t hesitate to ask other questions OR see the consulting services tab for individualized specific help.
Very good article! Thank you for sharing. I think most of us deal with one picky eater in the family. I used to be one myself.
Daniela
http://www.aznannies.com
Hi I know this post was written a while ago but I have only just stumbled across it as I’m frantically searching for something to help me get my son to eat.
He is 15 months old and the battle we have each day at every meal time is so overwhelming that I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
We started him on solids at 5 months of age and he has never taken to it. Even now I can’t get him to eat puréed foods. I’m constantly offering him different things in different textures, purée, mash, finger foods but he puts up such a fuss. Unless he is extremely distracted, he will not open his mouth (and sometimes distraction doesn’t work). He moves his head away, put his arms up, swats the spoon away. I’ve tried giving him his own spoon too and shown him what to do but he throws it on the floor.
A lot of your post sounds familiar. He had reflux up until about 11 months (undiagnosed but he was throwing up about 25 times a day so I assume that’s what it was), he gags a lot with food in his mouth, finger foods have to be cut up very small or he shoves the whole thing in his mouth, he will chew for a bit then spit out and most of the time he won’t even try it but just throw it straight on the floor.
The only thing I know he will eat are rice puffs and sultanas.
I live in Australia so unfortunately can’t get you out to see us.
I’ve had a speech therapist review him which was hopeless and my doctor just says to keep persisting which of course I am.
Can you make any suggestions or perhaps know of someone on this side of the world or some profession that may be able to help us.
It’s very upsetting and I too get from everyone “he will eat when he’s hungry” but he IS HUNGRY.
Some days I resort to giving him formula throughout the day so that he doesn’t cry for hours.
Hope you can help. Sorry for the long post.
You definitely have your hands full and I think some help would go a long way. Your story isn’t uncommon for me to hear. I don’t know anyone in Australia but have done several consults there via skype or facetime. See the tab in the menu bar for information. Also see the article index, there are a ton of articles on here that will help. You are very right that some kids won’t eat when they are hungry, make sure he always has one food he likes to eat at each meal and don’t allow snacking. Please let me know if you have other questions!
you forgot to mention medications. My son has a loss of appetite when on his meds, and it is very frustrating. so every bite that goes into his mouth has to be very nutritious
Thank you for replying and your advice. He has cows milk protein allergy and is ill a lot of the time with variety of things from hand,foot and mouth to croup to severe eczema. I took him to the doctors and they looked at his throat and all is fine that they can see. He wants to eat i can see this because he puts things in his mouth chews a little and instead of swallowing he spits it out. He is currently surviving on 2x Weetabix and 6oz of aptamil pepti 2 formula twice a day and lots of water. Getting him to take the weetabix is a trick but i feel its got to be done. X
Hi in in desperate need of some help, my son is 11months old and has eaten well since 6months old when we self weaned him with advice from weaning nurse. Within couple months we were told he has cows milk protein allergy but carried on eating fantastically until a month ago when he now puts everything he is given into his mouth chews/gums (as no teeth), then when he is supposed to swallow he spits it out. Buy carries on with next piece and repeats this over and over which is heartbreaking to watch. Any help would be great xx
Did he have any vomiting or illness before he stopped eating? Often and event like that can cause an aversion. I would also have him looked at by a doctor to make sure he doesn’t have swollen adenoids or any throat issues that you can’t see. In the mean time keep meals positive and demonstrate chewing and swallowing as much as possible. Leave your mouth wide open so that he can see what you are doing. Also, give sips of water or milk to help him swallow quickly before he spits food out.
my 2-year-old daughter chooses not to eat whatsoever the only time she eats is when she has a PB&J she tears it apart and just eats the jam and peanut butter out of it, she chooses not to eat whatever we make she looks at it plays with it and then says she’s done, she’s a little under weight so what can I do to help this.
I would start off with the eating basics tab in the menu bar. Try to start implementing all of those strategies if you haven’t already then look at the links at the bottom. There are articles with really good starting points listed at the end. Picky eating can be quite complicated!
I know this is difficult! Honestly it is hard to say if it is a phase or he had/has some type of bug. I would not do anything too drastic at the moment. Try to keep up with your routine and keep mealtimes as positive as possible. If it continues I would consider getting an evaluation by a feeding therapist or setting up a consult so that his difficulties can be thoroughly explored.
Hello Alisha,
I am So relieved to know I am not the only one going through this. My 4 year old son (almost 5 in 2 months) has stopped eating like he used to. He has never been a big big eater but he ate enough before always would he was hungry when mealtime was approaching for the past month he started saying he wanted to throw almost all foods that we fed him. I have tried everything to get him to eat and nothing is working…..please any suggestions or ideas ? I am driving myself thinking …..is he physically sick, is there an underlying issue, is he sick of eating certain foods, is it a phase? I am stuck and don’t know what to do . The doctor said it a stomach bug and he would be fine. Thanks for having this blog.
Hi Alisha, thank you for your reply. Yes my little boy has SPD among other issues(hipermobility and low muscle tone) I have read your blog about sensory bins and we have started playing with dry foods first. I will introduce sticky foods at a later stage.
I think his chewing is getting a little bit better now, if I tell him “show me how you can chew and swallow your food like a big boy” he will actually do it quickly and then we’ll give each other a high five or a kiss/cuddle.
The distraction part it’s going to be difficult for me, specially in the mornings when I have to drop his sister to school and then drop him off to preschool. But I will try. He just can’t sit still tough.
Thanks again for your reply. I think I’m becoming an expert reading all your blogs. You are a great help Alisha. Thank you so much x
Greetings from England. I feel sooo relieved I’m not the only patent that’s going through this!! My little boy is 2.5 and his diet is VERY limited. He will only eat chips, a slice of garlic bread, a chunk of cheese, maybe some cucumber but that’s it. He is pretty good with fruits though. We have been using an electric brush and having fun blowing bubbles but I wonder for how long do I need to do all this? It’s very tiring and frustrating. He will eat a cheese sandwich if I distract him by playing with his car and eating at the same time, is this a good idea? We have been playing with food but i don’t know for how long shall I be doing all this. It feels like it’s never going to end!! I wish you were based in the uk!
Any good books you could recommend. Thanks so much x
I think that you are doing some good things to help his eating, but you are right there is probably more that would need to be determined on an individual basis. I would avoid distraction, I know that is tough, but it will hurt more in the long run. Do you suspect that there may be sensory issues? If so get him playing in sensory bins. Also, see the article index in the menu bar and look under picky eating you will find a ton of information there as well. I do consults with Europeans all the time- see my menu bar.
Trust me, you are not alone. Unfortunately, we all get judgmental when we don’t understand. Good luck with your daughter, there are lots of tips here to help!
My daughter is 4 and has become a picky eater in the lady year and a half. Before that she’d eat anything we put in front of her. I try not to make her feel pressured about eating or make her “pickyness” an issue because I believe it will pass, buy I get so much critics from other people. I am so tired of hearing “what is wrong with your child?” simply because she doesn’t scarf down enough food in one sitting to feed a grown man. Why does it have to be an issue? My pediatrician says she’ll grow out of this phase and be just fine.
Hi Alisha,
I guess I am also with the little issue right now about my lil girls eating. She is three. She used to eat loads and very good, always healty and so on. It all started about two months ago, after she finished her kindergarten. She started to eat like a bird even her favourite food, now it is soo hard to feed that she refuses everything. She is picking up all the bad food habits from our family friends kids what is choking, storing food, vomiting, spitting all over the place. We had routine and everything, but since she went to kindergarten it is changed. She is not snacking. I tried the way that I let her not to eat till she asks, but she could go without food all day and she would be fine. Have tried everything what’s on the list, but nothing seems bring results. I am expecting new babes in next five weeks, I just hope I can resolve some part of this problem.
Thank you
Regards
Ilze
Hmm, that is a really unique situation. I would try and talk to her teacher and if she is still eating with these children, I would try to avoid that at all costs. Get back to your basics and routine. Also see the eating basics in the menu bar, follow all of these steps. It will take some time and diligence on your part, but you should be able to get her back on track!
Hi Alisha,
My daughter is nearly 4 yrs. She only eat wheatabix, porridge, toast, rice, pasta, yoghurt and various kinds of meat. She doesn’t want fruits and vegetables and eggs at all. She doesn’t want to try new foods. I do eat with her and encourage her to try but she always tells me that she doesn’t like them because it’s for adults not for kids. I don’t know how best I can help her to try other foods. Whatever she likes, she does eat it very well. She weighs 18kg and she looks healthy but I know she is not getting a balanced diet especially when she is not eating fruits and veggies.
Getting your kid to eat new foods can be really challenging and take some time. I would first recommend reading the Eating Basics tab in the menu bar and then checking out the articles I mention at the end for some more specifics. Tell her she doesn’t have to eat it, but needs to take some on her plate. Then, try to get her to interact with the food in a way that is comfortable for her. I explain this in more detail in Exploring New Foods- one of the articles. Let me know if you need more help!
I came on this page while looking for more options to feed my son who is 2.3 years old. Well i used to be very anxious 8 months back when i shifted to new apt and there he suddenly stopped eating. he would vomit and had lost lots of weight. Here i want to point out something, My neighbor had a son who was 5 months younger than my boy (with really good appetite). Initially my son would go to play at his house and would eat fruits with him. Slowly he developed stomach upset, diarrhea, constipation etc etc over the months. It would kill me seeing him not eating at all and some times eating on alternate days. I realized that my neighbor had hygiene problem. Though her son is fine all the time. And i am going to sound orthodox but I realized that every time I feed in front of my neighbor it hasn’t gone down well with him. As soon as she points out “oh he can eat this, my son should eat too” the very next day my son will stop eating at all. So correlating such incidents that has happened hundreds of times i stopped feeding my son in front of any outsider. And it works.
That’s very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
My grandaughter is 9-1/2 years old. She’s a very picky eater. She only eats chicken nuggets from McDonalds or hash browns, noodles, toast, fruits , chocolate milk, apple juice and Pediasure. She also takes vitamins. If we ask her to eat other foids she starts crying. Will she change her eating habits?
She will likely add some new foods, eventually, but this could take a while. I would recommend that she see a feeding therapist to help her get out of this, there are likely some underlying issues.
I have a 9 year old who refuses to eat after having several choking episodes. She has lost about 11 pounds in three weeks. I offer her anything she wants just to get her to eat and she asks for ice cream almost always and holds it in her mouth and refuses to swallow, then spits it out into paper towels or the toilet. She’s had a sleep study and just barely an upper gi because she wouldn’t swallow the contrast stuff. I been to see if her tonsils need to be removed , I was told they are not really enlarged. I don’t know what else to do.
Hi Kizzy, I’m glad you reached out. First of all feed her whatever you can, as you are in kind of a critical state. There are some extreme situations, like your daughters where gagging/choking/procedures to the throat can cause complete aversions to food. I would highly recommend seeing a feeding therapist, where you can be set up with a desensitization program. If you need help looking for a therapist please let me know!
My daughter is going through the same thing. She is afraid she is going to choke and refuses to eat. she too had list so much weight and is falling very weak. I don’t know what to do. We have been to the doctor, dentist, and we have had many conversations with her. Please give me advice.
How old is she? How long has this been going on?
Hi i have a 4 year old son who barely eats. when he does eat it has to be a ham and mayonnaise sandwich or chips. and he usually doesn’t even eat half of one. he was with foster parents for a year due to some trouble i got into and his foster parents even got him to try sushi! now he’s here and refuses to eat anything. he is happy and playful but I’m wondering if maybe the events of the past year have something to do with his refusal to eat?
It is possible that the transitions have made it difficult, but I would make sure you are setting up a really good routine- not that I’m trying to insinuate that you aren’t. Structure meal time as much as possible and continue to keep it positive. Eat with him and make sure he has one thing at each meal he prefers. Check out eating basics in the menu bar at top for more ideas! Good Luck!!!
One other thing I would add to the list is supertasting. 35% of women and 15% of men have more taste buds than the average person, so they taste “gross” tastes much more intensely than other people. If your child is at the point where they would rather sit at the table all night staring at their green beans than eat them, they may be a supertaster. Being a supertaster myself, I can tell you how frustrating it was when my parents would force me to eat foods that literally tasted so bad I wanted to vomit. It was incredibly freeing when I started living on my own and choosing my own foods. Just another thing to consider!
Thanks- yes,taste buds are on a spectrum and some are more sensitive than others!
We are in a similar situation. Daughter 3 and still doesn’t eat solid food (mainly chewing problems & sensory issues), but we are seeing the light. However, I should say we have had early intervention therapists (OT, Speech & Behavior) since age 1 & is seen at a private practice 3 times a week. I wish I would have found a site like this a couple years ago!!! I heard time after time that she was/is “stubborn”, “just put food in front of her”, “eventually she will get hungry”, etc. The fact is that will not work and just isn’t the case. We simply couldn’t accept that and knew she needed feeding therapy. The hard part was to find feeding specialists…OTs/Speech that had enough experience in this area. …and I should say we added a Behavior Specialist at the end of Early Intervention. I was reluctant to add this specialist because I always argued that this was simply not bad behavior. This specialist just helped us come up with positive reinforcements, ideas on how to recover after a really bad meal, etc. She actually was a big help to us. Anyhow, thank you for your posts. I will keep reading!!!
I should say a nutritionist helped as well to keep the calories on. My daughter is on the smaller side.
Hi Alisha,
My daughter is 3 years old and she is a terrible fussy eater or rather a non eater I would say. She is on just 11.5 kg from past 1 year . I have consulted many pedestrians but they end up giving me advice or some appetizer . After reading your article I think my daughter has mechanics problem she simply doesn’t chew her food she stores them in her cheeks for long time then spits it out. If I made a semi solid mushy food she doesn’t open her mouth wide she eats like a bird. I offered her many different kinds but nothing seems to work out. She doesn’t even want to eat junk food which most of the kids like. I left my job for her sake . now am feeling really miserable as am not able to improve her eating habits . I have lost the battle . At my home emotions keep flying high at every single meal. Bribe her . plead her scold her pamper her , She won’t budge . please help . please tell me how do I go about this.
Thanks in advance
Helpless mom
I’m so sorry- this is a very challenging situation. I would highly recommend the direction of a feeding therapist- I’m assuming you aren’t in the states so I’m not sure this is an option. I would read my posts transitioning your child to table foods. There are two parts and you can find them in the article index in the menu bar or in the sidebar under popular posts. This goes through some of the basics of teaching the child how to chew. However, there are likely multiple layers to her difficulty eating. There is so much info on here, I would start reading under feeding basics also in the menu bar. I would avoid scolding, she has something legitimate going on that makes it difficult for her to eat. There is no pressure, but I’m also available for consults where we could go over her history and discuss in more detail. You can find info for that in the menu bar also. Please let me know if I can help out in any other way!
You have so many good ideas here, but could you please do a post for parents on how to depersonalize the picky eater situation? I have tried everything–preferred foods, sample bites, variations on preferred foods, getting kids to help prepare a meal–and nothing has worked. They enjoy the process of cooking, but have no interest in the actual product (unless it’s cupcakes), even if they see that it is filled with all ingredients that they like. I am at my wit’s end, and dinner has become my absolute least favorite time of the day. (I have a 3-year-old and a 7-year-old.) I love to cook, and this is positively sucking all the enjoyment out of it. I always put a small portion of what I make on their plates–sometimes they try it, sometimes they don’t. I don’t want dinner to turn into a power struggle, but neither am I willing to make them separate meals or let them live on pancakes. Help!
Hi Alison, I totally hear you and sometimes if your kids are beyond picky eating, those strategies might not be enough. Look at the article index at the top menu. Read When Picky Eating Has Gone Too Far, if they are beyond picky eating seeking additional help will be very beneficial. Also, there are several posts about keeping mealtimes positive, expanding variety, and exploring new foods that should be helpful. There is no pressure, but I am available for consults where I can give specific advice. Let me know if I can be of more help.
Hi Alisha!
Thanks so much for this super informative article! Im wondering if you have any tips if we suspect a mechanical issue. Our 13 month old was a puree eating champ. He would eat any and every veggie or fruit with the exception of banana. Loved pouches, even combo flavors. I was raised eating what my mom cooked (“adult” food, no short order cooking) from the beginning and feel very strongly that our son will eat what we eat as well. We love food and want him to love food also. Our problem is, he is refusing solids. Foods that he gobbled up as purees get spit out in the real food/cooked form. We consistently offer whatever we are eating, as well as cheese, cooked veggies, soft fruit, etc and he almost instantly spits out most, others he will suck or “chew” for a bit and then spit out. I dont think its the taste because it isnt even in his mouth long enough. He happily eats cherios, mum mum crackers, teething cookies, cheese, pasta, and eggs (eggs 50% of the time). Anything else (squash, carrots, sweet potato, peas, corn, pears, peaches, strawberry, banana, blackberry, zuchinni, green beans etc etc) gets spit out. He loved any kind of meat for about 2 months and now spits that out too. He got teeth very late (first one at 11 months and now has two top and two bottom) and we made the mistake of giving only very soft things in tiny cut up bits because we thought he needed teeth to chew (i know now this isnt the case). Im starting to think he is scared to swallow or doesnt know how to chew things up properly? Other than the hard carrot idea or showing him our own chewing, where do I go from here? Im so discouraged that I keep resorting to mum mums and cookies and cheese but I dont know what to do. If he can chew those things is it just that he doesnt like the soft things? Some things like oranges I can tell he likes the taste of because he will keep it in his mouth and mull it around but ultimately doesnt swallow. Same with eggs the other 50% of the time (sometimes swallows eggs). I see photos of my friends with similar age children eating normal size bites of strawberry and pancakes and I know he isnt getting enough food at a meal. He of course wants to self feed and slaps spoons away but lately is interested in spoons and forks if he can hold them but still spits out what is on them. Help!
I keep reading “be consistent/keep trying” but we are going on four months of consistently offering different table foods at every meal and them getting spit out. I know its not that he fills up on crackers and other stuff. After 2 months of refusing solids, we introduced pouches out of desperation for him to eat something and very recently introduced teething crackers and mum mums (in the past few weeks) when he has lost interest in pouches.
Hi Caralea, I can completely understand how frustrating this. First, stick with more crunchy foods, if he is having difficulty chewing he will get more feedback from the chewing. You could also try holding a long piece of food like cheese curl and holding one end while you put the other end on his gums in the back- if he will allow you. I would also look into getting an early intervention evaluation, if you are in the states. See the article index for the article titled: Early Intervention Services. I would also make slow changes to foods he is eating, buying different brands and flavors. Lastly, read the post Exploring New Foods with Your Picky Eater. It talks a lot about the importance of play.
There is no pressure at all, but I am available for consults. It sounds like there are some underlying issues going on, that I would need to investigate more to give you specific info. I hope this helps a little. Let me know if I can do something else!
Very frustrating, my daughter turned 4 on 11/10 and since 11/12 she had not a thing. We have taken her to 2 emergency rooms and they say a behavior issue…I disagree I have an appointment with a GI dr Monday…Monday will be 14 days no food, when we ask her if something hurts she says yes and points to get belly button..we told the er about it but they say all test came back normal but she has been in the verge of dehydration 2 times during this time…I hope the GI dr will give us some answers.
Yes, very right to follow your instincts. Did they do an endoscopy, colonoscopy, or stomach emptying test in the ER. If not than they can’t say there isn’t a reason. Right now give her whatever and however to get her to eat or drink anything. I would consider following up with a feeding eval as well.
I’m going thru the same thing right now with my daughter an I had taken her to the er and they said everything is normal with all her blood work they told me she is constipated an just give her suppositorys for it an I did but she still not eating 🙁 my poor baby girl I feel so bad for her
I know, it is terrible!!! See the links I just added in this post, I actually have two post on constipation solutions, it might be helpful
Hi Alisha,
Thank you for you article!! it is very helpful and interesting.. Our daughter turned 1 year a few days ago, and she has never ever eaten more than 2-3 teaspoons (if we are lucky…) of anything. What ever goes into her mouth just gets pulled straight out. we have established she seems to prefer savoury to sweet tastes. Her appetite has definately increased for the past few weeks but she is just demanding more formula bottles instead if actually eating anything. Since birth we have struggled with constipation, that seems to get even worse when she is teething. She even refuses any kind of juice/rooibos tea. She is very stubborn by nature but I dont think its a behavoural issue. She seems healthy and happy, but she has not gained any weight for the past 3 months. 2 Peadiatritians have said she does have unusually large tonsils, could this affect her swollowing? How do we go about testing for oral aversions or tactile defensiveness? Please could you give us some advise.. Many thanks!! Mom&Dad Tinkler
Hello! You would see some red flags for tactile defensiveness by her either being uncomfortable with being messy, refusing to touch certain textures, and/or gagging at the sight, smell, touch, or taste of foods. Oral aversions may develop because of a past event: feeding tube, episode of throwing up, etc., and kids will outright refuse to eat. Her behavior is not typical- but I don’t want that to alarm you. I would push the constipation issue more with your doc for other solutions. Consider seeing a GI doc, if you don’t get answers there. Lastly, I would consider an early intervention eval if you are in the states.I have more on that here: http://www.yourkidstable.com/2013/09/help-for-infants-and-toddlers-early.html There is no pressure at all, but I’m available for consults- if you have any other questions about anything, please let me know!
My son squrims through out his eating when I’m feeding him no matter what i seem to do im out of ideas on how to get him to eat, and most of the time he will only eat table food if it is comming directly off of mommy or daddys plate what to i do?
How old is he? I would let him eat off your plate for now and keep it really positive. It’s important that he associates eating with something positive. Did anything from this article jump out at you as a possible reason your son is having a hard time?
Hi, I think I can relate to this with my 13 month old also in similar case. When you say to give a whole carrot & celery – should it be cooked?
Definitely raw! The point is for them to move it around in their mouth like a teether, if they can get any pieces off, take it off of them. Let me know how it goes!
Hi there from Nigeria. I love this whole carrot idea. I gave my baby peeled cucumbers whole when she was 9 months and she loved them. I Nam here for my 4 year old nephew and god son. I have subscribed to your newsletter and I am gaining some insight as to what to do. I think he has the sensory challenge because he looks at food either with disgust or total lack of interest. Never curious about anything on the table. I would try to have him more involved, like join me in preparing a mean of his choice. Wish me luck.
You’re having some great insights and are on the right track! Be as patient and consistent as possible, you’ll get there. Let me know if you ever have questions!
I’m very frustrated at this point. My 9 year old refuses to eat and at her own detriminte. She even lost weight which is how I noticed that she refuses to eat.. She wants us to feed her every meal and will stare holes in the wall that is how stubborn she is! So definately behaviour and I definately agree on the constipation I have had problems with that before. She’s epileptic so I’m not sure if her meds play a role in supressing her appetite as well. Just annoys. Me how it may change so all of a sudden.
I’m so sorry Pamper Box Salon- I know its sooo hard! It is unusual for a child her age to suddenly refuse to eat. I would explore the constipation issue more- you can use miralax. If you would like to talk I do offer consultations.
After reading many of your blog articles, I believe our 1 year old (June 21 she’ll be 13 months) has some mechanical issues with foods she needs to chew. I continue to offer her a variety of chewing foods and it is all she gets at day care now. At dinner and weekends if she does not eat enough which is all the time, I am still giving her pureed and preferred chewing foods (cheerios, puffs, yogurt drops, lil’ crunchies, ravioli, tofu, eggs, some veggies and fruit cut up as long as they’re soft, sometimes she’ll eat a little bread with butter and/or cheese, small bits of mozzarella cheese, a few small bits of pizza, likes chewing on pizza crust, and a few small bits of pancake). Will she grow out of these mechanical issues? Gagging, spitting out half-chewed food, and even vomiting from gag reflex (last was 2 weeks ago). Really like your site and will consider a consultation if she does not improve more in the next couple months. Thanks!
Hi Jess, well she has some real strengths going for her. She has a decent variety. The gagging and vomiting are red flags. It is hard to say if she will grow out of it, a few kids do. However, it may make it difficult to move on and some of those muscles she’ll need for speaking too. Keep trying! Demonstrate how to chew with a wide opened mouth, so she can see what you are doing. Also give her whole carrots and celery, yes the big long pieces, to mouth on. This will help build up some jaw strength and decrease her gag reflex. You can give these to her before or while you feeding her purees! Of course, I’m here for a consult, but consider getting in touch with your states early intervention program. They should be able to get you some help in your very own home! Let me know if you need more help with this!
So my son who is now 20 mts old was the best eater in the world! And I am talking about eating everything…I used to think sometimes that he is eating too much for his little tummy…well those good times are gone ;( couple of months ago he just stop eating…all of the sudden he refuses to eat everything and anything …I am having a hard time it is so hard and frustrating …I am going crazy and don’t know what to do! I think that his problem is bad behavior but not sure how to handle it..I need help
Well, it may be one of two things. First, did any event happen, an illness or gagging on food. It might seem like something small, but even a small event like this can trigger a sensitization toward food.
Second, it is likely just the developmental stage your son is in. Around 1 years old their taste buds begin to refine, this can bring out a lot of “picky eating”. Stay consistent, offer foods at regular meals with no snacking in between. Check out my new post, too, so that you have your bases covered there. http://www.yourkidstable.com/2013/05/common-mistakes-parents-make-how-to_20.html
Hi Alisha! Greetings from Lisbon!
So I´m in the same situation as mentioned above. My 18mts old boy would eat this world and the next if we let him, but now that is past. He is still having milk for breakfast, doctor recomendation, the lunch and dinner are now a war zone to say the least. Everyone tells me DO NOT force him to eat, but I just can´t help to force him a bit or else I know that he will have only breakfast milk on him for the day. Our routine is lunch kinda adult meal, with meat, pasta or rice, and veggies, finishing with a spoon of vegetable soup, followed by fuit. Dinner is the same but with fish on the main meal. Yes its a 3 course meal but we only want him to eat a small amount of each. Now that the food war has arrived we are only managing him to eat 3 or 4 bites of his meal, sometimes only half the soup and we are giving the fruit in the morning or afternoon snacks. He is now also rejecting almost all the new things that we give him to try. He refuses! Around here soup is a very important thing but I keep having the feeling that giving him only the soup we are talking the easiest road. Now Im quite lost. Force him? Not force him? Drop the soup? Insist in new things? Let him be when I know that he has eaten so little all day?
Thank you for your time.
Hello! So exciting that you are reading along in Lisbon! First and foremost don’t force feed, I know where you are coming from- I get it, but it is going to get you nowhere fast. Click on basic strategies in the top menu for more on this. Keep the soup, always serve at least one food he likes and keep presenting new foods. There is a ton of info on this blog, also in the menu bar is an article index, look at the Picky Eater articles particularly How to Expand their Variety and Getting Your Picky Eater to Explore New Foods. Right now just get him comfortable having the new foods. Keep things as positive as possible. Also, I am available for consults which we could do through skype, facetime or email if you want some more specifics- more on that in the tip menu bar, too! Hope this gets you going in the right direction- let me know if I can help more!
Hi, how is your son now, is he still picky eater.
Hi, thanks so much for asking, he is is 4 now and doing really well. He has drastically improved how many foods he eats, but still has some preferences. I’m very happy with his variety.
I’ve noticed that many parenting magazines fall short in the area of picky eating. There is a difference between your everyday picky eater and a child with food aversions which can stem from sensory disorders, autism, medical problems at birth/infancy. My son battles severe picky eating (see http://www.foodaversions.blogspot.com) When I read an article that just doesn’t get it I just assume they are speaking to the average run of the mill picky eater. Likely the writer has had zero experience with families of those with severe picky eating issues. Yeah for everyone who wrote a letter helping them to see the light. There should be some sort of disclaimer on the article stating to whom it is geared towards. Severe picky eating is a real issue that is highly discouraging for the parents especially those without resources.
Yes- you are very right! I have been meaning to write a post for some time on picky eaters vs. problem feeders, the latter being what you experienced with your son. Most of the advice I give really applies to both scenarios and when it doesn’t I do try to highlight that. I think there should be a disclaimer, too- most people don’t realize just how severe feeding problems can be.
Great post. After being tube fed from birth until 21 months my little girl has got rid of her tube at last although still has prescribed milk fom a baby bottle a few year on as although she does well with food it is a limited variety and volume.
People who said she would eat when hungry and should withhold the bottle and insist a cup or nothing irritate me. She has never known hungry with continuous feeds and has progressed very well in a year.
That is wonderful news- I know that achievement comes with a lot of work! Unfortunately, most people don’t understand. Keep up the good work and try to tune out other’s opinions.
My 7 years old daughter doesn’t like to eat anything. I make many things for her, she show her interest to eat but she doesn’t. She even doesn’t take her breakfast. After many hours even she doesn’t feel like eating anything.
Physically she is perfect and active too. She keeps playing and running around the house but again she doesn’t get hungry. First I used to ask her if she wants to eat something but now I left asking because she never says she wants to eat something. Without asking I give her food but she doesn’t eat. I am so worried about her. I visited a doctor also they have given some energy and nutrition syrups. But nothings works. I am so helpless what to do now.
Hey!
I’d start with our free workshop first it will walk you through setting up a no pressure environment. This will be really helpful in moving forward. Also, making sure you are serving her preferred foods. You can have her provide some input into what she may like on the menu for the week as well! You can save your seat for the workshop here
Best,
Desiree
Great post. After being tube fed from birth until 21 months my little girl has got rid of her tube at last although still has prescribed milk fom a baby bottle a few year on as although she does well with food it is a limited variety and volume.
People who said she would eat when hungry and should withhold the bottle and insist a cup or nothing irritate me. She has never known hungry with continuous feeds and has progressed very well in a year.
Your post made me cry. I cannot thank you enough! My son is nearly 3 years old and has spent most of his life in daily therapy for oral aversion and oral hypotonia. The result was a combination of medical and sensory issues and ongoing months of not eating cause behavioral issues that had to be overcame. It is exhausting and disappointing to read an abundance of articles in parenting books, magazines, and blogs that say “He’ll eat when he’s hungry”. Not my child. Thank you for writing the truth behind the issues that our children may face with food.
Thank you so much for bringing up “they will eat when they want to”. That is a total myth and research proves it. Most kids will eat, eventually- but not all of them. Hence why some kids end up on a feeding tube! I should have commented on that in the post!
Good luck with your son and I hope you kind find some support and new strategies here 🙂
hi
my daughter is nearly 1 year ,she start good with solid food but now she start teething and that affect her daily table food she lost here appetite at all yes I know its due of teething but I can not believe how she can spent all the day without eating anything except breastfeed (4 times per day)
I need help plzzz
Breast feed 2X a day and give a cup 2X a day. Teething can decrease desire to eat. Offer food she likes, soft like oatmeal, ice cream, etc.
Can some one tell me why my 5 year old boy has not eaten anything for over 5 days now? We have been giving him pediasure just to make sure he is getting some kind of protein in him but we can’t do that for much longer, n we haven’t been giving a reason from a doctor or no one to why is will not eat. He says he isn’t hungry but he drinks down them pediasures one after another do he had to be hungry. He won’t even eat his favorite foods that he usually eats everyday. If anyone has any good info, it would be greatly appreciated if they could please respond back. Thank you.
It sounds like he is game playing and your anxiety feeds it. As you point out “he had to be hungry”. Was he ill before this,is he constipated, is he competing against a sibling for attention,any problems in school. Offer regular food that he likes, don’t worry if he doesn’t eat it and offer the Protein drink (which is very filling), 2 X a day for 2 days and 1 X a day for 2 days and then none.
Hey JoaAnn, I have the exactly same situation with my son- 3.5years. he is an active child but for the past few months refuses to eat almost anything in this world stating he is not hungry. but he actually is and demands milk all the time which he is able to finish. I have spoken with a medical practitioner and she says is could be due to slack liver – reason being he falls sick too often and has to b given antibiotics to recover. it is a vicious circle. I am hoping things improve slowly. Good luck to you too.
Thanks so much sharing, I have to admit I’m not familiar with that. Stop back and give us an update. Best to you!
I know this is an old post but was there anything that helped? I’m going through the exact same thing with my five year old. She hasn’t eaten any solids in a week. Just pediasure.
Does your child normally have eating difficulties or did this come out of the blue? IF it is the latter, have you talked to the doctor? If it is following an illness, it can take a few weeks to get back on track. Keep offering regular meals and stick to a routine even if she doesn’t eat. Keep it positive and don’t force or pressure.
I had similar problem with my baby
please log in to babycareadvice and take help from Rowena Bennet
her consultaion helped me a lot.
Believe me i had lost hope.i had given up.i spent months crying.visits to pediatricians were useless n one day i came across their website and the testimonials written by otger parents about their children and how Rowena helped them get out of the feeding aversion completely changed our life.i am so happy i consulted her..
I had similar problem with my baby
please log in to babycareadvice and take help from Rowena Bennet.you have to desensitize him to food.and i would recommend that u stop giving her pediasure and offer food with at leat 4-5hrs gap and do not force her and offer only twice and if he refuses try after 4hrs.do not give pediasure in between meals even if he hasnt taken anything.
rowena’s consultaion helped me a lot.but every child is different
Believe me i had lost hope.i had given up.i spent months crying.visits to pediatricians were useless n one day i came across their website and the testimonials written by otger parents about their children and how Rowena helped them get out of the feeding aversion completely changed our life.i am so happy i consulted her..
Hi I’m just reading ur post about ur son you say he’s had daily treatment how is ur son now does he eat. I’m asking because I need help as my 3 year old son has not eaten our food for 2 and a half years and I need help thanks
He does eat quite a lot. He is still picky about some things, but we don’t let it interfere with his or anyone else’s meal. There is a ton of info on here. See the menu bar and click on Article Index then see the first category of picky eater. If you are able also look into private feeding services. I’m available for consults as well.
Hi, I have 3 years old who eats just few things. He is goggling when sees food or someone else eating . How long it will be I don,t know.
Hi my son 8yrs and he is not eating and can you please halp me thank you
Hi Vesela, head up to the menu bar and click start here, follow those steps, until you get each one implemented. They are simple but could take some time. Let me know how it is going once you do that and I’ll give you more direction
Can I ask what you did to get h to eat. I’m going threw the same thing, should I take him to the frs
Thank you so much for putting behavior at the bottom of this list! I recently read an article in Parenting magazine about picky eaters that disturbed me so much, I actually wrote a letter to the editor. One of the statements used was,”picky eaters are made, not born.” My son is 4 and has issues with sensory processing. He is very restrictive about what he will eat. It is a daily battle. I appreciate this post very much!
Oh my that is disturbing! I usually love how Parents handles eating advice. I am looking into this and am going to write a letter, too! Thank you for your comment and hang in there. Keep up all the hard work you are putting in!
halmathama123@yahoo.com
hello .i want ask about my child.my daughter doesnt like food .the doctore saw her for 3 time but not change her
If you feel in your gut that something more is going on like I talked about in this post you might want to get a second opinion. You could also look into feeding therapy- see the link in the post.
I know this thread is old but hopefully I can get some help on what to do. My 9 year old son choked on cheese from a quesadilla around june 10-11 (I can’t remember the exact day that it happened ed). He got really scared. After that he was eating fine. Then on Sunday June 14 we bought him and his sister Pizza. For some reason they put too much cheese on it ( I didn’t order it with extra cheese), and it triggered something in him and he started taking off all the cheese and pepperoni off it because he said he was scared to choke. So he ended up eating just bread. Between monday and Wednesday he was still eating his usuals just taking a lot longer and letting his food sit in his mouth for too long because he didn’t want to swallow. Yesterday Thursday he refused to eat solids and only ate gogurt. I usually don’t buy them fast food during weekdays but decided to give it a try and get them McDonalds to see if he would eat. He ordered a burger and was eating on his way home. But come to find he was only chewing it and then spitting it out on the wrapper. He said he wants to eat but is scared to swallow. So since yesterday he hasn’t eaten anything but gogurts. I don’t know what to do. He used to have a faze when he was 2-5 yrs old that he was surviving out of danimals and junk food. He finally grew out of it when he started school. Now I’m more scared for him since he is way older and I don’t think is healthy for him to live off water, juices and gogurt. At this point I’m ok if he wants to eat just chips and cookies but he doesn’t want to eat that either. And COVID has me debating if I should pay his doctor a visit. I feel very concerned and helpless.
Hey Alexandra,
Thanks for reaching out! Sounds like there is a lot of anxiety with him over the eating of foods. I’d focus on trying to find ways to work on treating the anxiety. We do have a post with an expert in anxiety that might be helpful you can read about it HERE
Best,
Desiree
My 2.6 year old baby suddenly refusing to eat meat, fish and egg at all. Previously from 9 months to 2.5 year, she used to have 2 piece meat/fish at lunch and another 2 at dinner. She barely ate rice / other carbohydrate. I was satisfied with this. However , after 2.6 years, upto 3 months , she has not being eating any meat any fish and any type of egg. Only she eats milk, some fruits, nut and snacks (pancake, custard, vegetable fry) etc. That’s all. I am super worried about her meal time that I am losing myself. I can’t figure out what can I serve her at meal time. All she eats snacks and milk and sweet foods. She previously could eat spicy food, now, she can’t even tolerate a little bit of spice (not even chicken fry or pizza)
What should i do?
Hi Shaolin,
I can imagine that your daughter refusing food can make meal time so frustrating! She is definitely within the age range of when picky eating naturally can begin. Try serving her a protein, carbohydrate and fruit/vegetable at every meal and be sure to include at least 1 food that she will almost always eat on the plate as well. Rotating these foods is also helpful! We have a free picky eating course to help you get started. You can save your seat HERE!
Best,
Andrea