For many parents, feeding their kids is a bit overwhelming, especially in the beginning. It’s really straight forward when they are babies, right? Milk, then baby food. Simple. Things start to get a little tricky when real food is introduced and the bottles and baby food are weaned away. Those babes turn into toddlers and the eating transition can be challenging. I’m not just talking about how to get them to start eating table foods, I’ve already covered that in: How to Transition Your Baby to Table Food. It’s all the other things that come along with this transition like when, what, and where to feed them…. when and how do they feed themselves… how long should they sit in a high chair… etc.
Okay, if you weren’t overwhelmed already, I am probably overwhelming you now! Obviously, I am going to walk you through the most common mistakes parents seem to make and how you can avoid them to get your kid’s eating started with a good foundation. As an early intervention occupational therapist, these have been common problems I’ve helped parents with over and over again, and they are mostly simple things that the Pediatrician doesn’t have time to tell you or may not even know.
Staying on Baby Food Too Long
Going to get this one out of the way first. Generally speaking babies should be starting to eat table foods around 8-9 months and should be done eating baby food by their first birthday. Of course there are exceptions to this, especially if your child has developmental delays. Each child is an individual and I do want you to follow their lead, BUT often I see parents sticking with baby food way too long because it is easier or THEY are uncomfortable exposing their child to more table foods. You may think, where is the harm in it? Although most kids will move onto table foods fairly easily, some can get stuck in a rut and refuse table foods if they are kept on baby food for too long. If you need more help with this transition check out part one and two of How to Transition Your Baby to Table Food.
Abandoning the High Chair
I know the big high chairs can be cumbersome in kitchens and the trays are annoying to keep cleaning, but these seats and their ability to confine, ahem, I mean keep you child safe are the best bet for a while. Babies have learned to associate eating with this chair and toddlers are notoriously distracted. If you try to have them eat at their own little table or at a big table before the age of 2.5, you are most likely going to be in a constant struggle just to keep them sitting at the table and their eating habits will surely suffer.
There is nothing wrong with keeping your kid in a high chair or booster seat with a strap until they are 3. If you never stray from this, they won’t ever know the difference, sitting in a high chair or booster is all they have ever know. Once you let them kneel on a big chair or don’t strap them into the booster, it could be very difficult to return to the original set up.
This is my favorite strapped booster seat, I’ve used it for all my kiddos, until 3 years old and beyond really. Plus, it’s portable!
Once you do move to strap-free eating situation, lay the ground rules quickly about staying seated. If you child insists on getting down, meal time is over for them. Make sure they understand this and follow through. Click here for more info on setting up a schedule and spacing meals apart.
UPDATE: Check out 8 Steps to Keep Your Child Seated at Meals and to make sure your child is positioned correctly in the booster you are using, you’ll definitely want to head over to The Best Seated Position. You’ll find helpful pictures and the high chairs and booster seats I use and recommend.
Constant Snacking
I have to admit, this is probably my biggest pet peeve and the most prevalent error parents make. (Warning: stepping onto my soap box) Somehow our culture has evolved to constantly feeding our kids, most of the time we do this to pacify them. We hand them crackers or cookies in grocery stores, doctor’s offices, cars, parties, and even church to keep them quiet. It doesn’t always stop there. In the beginning, it can be hard to find a schedule for eating that works and leaving food out all the time can seem logical, or meal times become stressful and schedules are abandoned because it seems easier. It may be easier in the short term, but in the long run, it will become more difficult to get good eating habits established.
When kids are given snacks endlessly, the message sent is that we don’t need to sit and eat together (yes, even if it is just a snack) and that we can eat whenever we want. I think it is important to teach kids to respect meal time in it’s own right, so they can develop healthy eating habits for life. Constant snacking totally defeats this, and as I have discussed previously, snacking usually ruins their appetite. To learn 5 ways to increase their appetite, click here.
In my day job (as an occupational therapist), I see huge changes in a child’s eating when the family moves to structured, spaced out meals. At home, I also see a dramatic difference in my kid’s eating when they have snacked too frequently.
Toys at the Table
No toys at the table might seem obvious to some of you, especially parents with babies that aren’t really trying to pull this stunt yet. I assure you there will be a day when your toddler is insistent and will ultimately throw a tantrum just to have the truck or doll at the table with them. In the moment, it is very easy to give in because you are exhausted and don’t have the battle in you. However, this is a battle worth fighting, even though that toy may be keeping them in their chair, it will mostly distract them from actually eating. Sometimes it helps to place the toy in a spot where a child can see it (sometimes that makes it worse!). Either way, once your kiddo knows that you mean business about no toys coming to the table, they will stop trying.
*If your child is receiving feeding therapy, some therapeutic strategies employ the use of toys at meals.
Eating Alone
Eat with your kids. Often when we start babes out on baby food they are on their own schedule and we focus just on feeding them at their own meal time. This should be short lived, if ever a scenario at all. If possible, it is a great habit and benefit to the baby to eat meals together. As they start to eat multiple times a day and begin table foods, try to find a way to have your eating schedules coincide. Serving your kids solo means them missing out on a variety of social interactions, as well as the powerful tool of modeling. These mini-me’s just want to emulate us, and while we all know that they observe everything that we are doing, we often forget to apply that to eating. They notice that the broccoli is on our plate and what we like to eat. Not to oversimplify, but If your kid never sees you eating the broccoli, they might not eat it either.
Please don’t fret if you have already begun some of these habits, my hope is that this information will empower you to make some changes that will lay the groundwork for good eating habits throughout your child’s life. Although it may take a little more time to undo some of what I discussed here, you can get back on track by slowly making changes. Pick one thing to focus on at a time and be patient! If you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, click here for some more tips.
If your looking for more help on establishing good eating habits, click here, here, and here. Follow me on facebook for quick tips and ideas.
As always, I would love to hear from you! Leave a comment, let me know what you’re thinking or any questions you may have.
Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 17 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
So much thanks for the sharing. I was looking for that and this is very important for me. Thanks! I thoroughly appreciated your post!
Thanks for reading, Justin!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi!
My daughter is 11 month old. She has been a great eater till 9 month but it’s been two month her meal time become a real struggle for me. In start I thought she is on teething that’s why she lost interest in food but after her teeth came out she still don’t show any interest in food. She refuses whatever i offer her. She is on spoon fed till 9 month then she don’t want to be fed. I tried to give her food to eat herself but she throws everything. Then I tried to distract her by screens she ate for a week and then back to not eating at all. Now my question is, do babies follow baby led weaning at 11 month or is it too late for them to eat themselves now ??
Hi Fatima,
She is certainly not too old for baby led weaning. We have a ton of resources on this age and some of the issues you are describing. I’d start with our free workshop on toddler and baby solids. It’s a good starting point! Let me know if you have any questions.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
This article sheds light on a crucial topic that many parents encounter: instilling good eating habits in their children
Hi Kalyn,
Thanks so much for this informative article. Very interesting! Our daughter is 10 months and is currently being weaned. Since 6 months, she has had a mixture of BLW and chunky purees etc.
I have two questions which I hope you could potentially help with please –
1. She has recently started to become “lazy” and won’t eat finger foods anymore, and will only eat when she is being fed. She is busy teething, but I suspect that her laziness has gone on longer than the teething. Do you have any recommendations on how I can stop her from being “lazy”? And
2. She has never liked an array of foods in front of her. If there are loads of things on her plate/high chair tray, she almost “loses her mind” and starts bashing all the food and chucking it onto the floor. Have you ever heard of / seen this type of behaviour, and if so, what can I do to make her comfortable with a “plate of food”?
Thanks in advance!!
Adel
Hi Adel! Thank you for reaching out! So glad you found our post helpful!
1. If your baby isn’t making any effort to use their fingers to feed themselves, make sure you’re giving them opportunity to try and try again, even allowing them to struggle a little. That is how they learn! Sometimes they can get “lazy,” but keep trying! Here is a blog post with tips for this!
2. Throwing food is totally normal for children between 8 and 18 months old. This happens for a variety of reasons. I would start by offering less food at a time, which will help minimize the throwing, since she will feel less overwhelmed. Here is a blog post with more tips for this!
Hope these answers are helpful 🙂
Best,
Kalyn
In the morning sometimes I’m not hungry and I just make food for my 3yearold I will sit down at the table with him just not eat, my wife doesn’t like this and feels like I’m being a bed role model for my son. So my question is if I’m not hungry do I still need to just eat at the same time as my son?
Thanks for amazing content. I think it is very helpful for new born babies.The post is very informative and creative. I Loved it.Carry on
Thanks so much for sharing your feedback! So glad you found this post helpful!
Best,
Kalyn
This is the first article I’ve read on your site and I wished I had found you sooner! The reason I even got to your site is because I live with family, and once my baby transitioned to solids (at 5/6 months – she is now 12 months old) they kept throwing toys in front of her during mealtimes. And over the last 6 months of feeding, they’ve continued this and have always advised me “she needs to be distracted” or will just come and distract her “for me”.
From the start, it didn’t sit right with me just like giving no-screen time (I don’t let her watch tv or play games on phones, etc). Thankfully, she doesn’t watch cartoons to eat like many other babies. But because I was constantly being told to distract her, I thought maybe it’s something she did need and it’s something I’m not doing right as a new mum. Noe at 12 months, she isn’t a great eater and I constantly have to put new things in front of her to distract her and spoon food in her mouth. She picks up food to feed herself that she likes sometimes but will only have a little bit before she’s distracted again.
And now I’ve come across your article and knowing something didn’t sit right, I wish I just trusted my gut. Please can you advise on what to do instead during meal times? Thank you so much.
Hi May! Thanks for reaching out! Try not to be so hard on yourself, you’re doing a great job! Here are a few tips to try to break that habit of distraction with toys: Demonstrate eating, sit and eat together and over-exaggerate your own eating motions. Utilize different, fun baby utensils for her to use to feed herself- you can even pre-load the utensils and set them in front of her so that she can pick it up and bring it to her mouth. Slowly decrease the time that you distract her at mealtime- The idea is that you either delay giving her toys so she has a chance to start the meal without it, or you take away the toy before the meal is over so she can finish the meal without it, you can start by delaying giving her the toy for 2-3 minutes and then gradually increase as days go on. That last tip is a tool usually used for screen time, but it may help in your situation! For more tips, we have a free table food workshop, you can save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
I REALLY need your help :'(
Is there specific 1-2-1 sessions that you can do, as soon as possible?
Hi, our son is just over 7 months, weaned early at 5 months on medical advice and has happily been on 3 meals a day, full pouches/portions, previously was having 8+ bottles a day. The past couple of weeks he’s lost interest in his meals and clamping his mouth shut after just a few spoons but is still hungry and will eat it if you give him fruit or yogurt. He has just had 2 teeth come through, is that linked? Do I persevere or give him bottles again? He’s got no interest in finger food, puts everything else in his mouth apart from food. Slightly baffled!
Hi Fran! He’s 7 months old and weaned off formula? Does he get any breast milk or formula at all? Since you mentioned he was weaned due to medical advice, I would refer to your doctor. However, generally speaking, babies should be getting either breast milk or formula until 1 year of age. It’s great that he’s been a good eater with table foods and different textures. Teething can play a big role in any feeding regressions, and in that situation, offering more formula or breast milk would be helpful. If you didn’t want to reintroduce the bottle, you can always put formula or breast milk in a sippy cup. Hope that helps!
Best,
Kalyn
I think you’ve completely misread my post unfortunately. He was weaned onto food early, still on 5 7oz bottles a day. Lost interest in food and absolutely no interest in finger food.