Figure out exactly which sensory issues are making potty training difficult for your kiddo. And, get 29 ways to help your kid with sensory issues learn to use the toilet on their own!
Was she losing her mind?
Surely potty training isn’t that complicated. All of her friend’s kids seemed to have no more than the usual amount of trouble getting their kids potty trained.
Her daughter was now 4 and had barely made any progress. She seemed scared of trying and cried even walking into the bathroom. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was somehow related to her picky eating and strong dislike for getting messy…
And, it just might be.
How is picky eating, disliking getting messy, and having trouble potty training linked together?
The common denominator is sensory processing.
This is just one example of the many stories I’ve heard as an occupational therapist about potty training woes. Kids can have trouble getting the hang of potty training for all sorts of reasons, but sensory processing is often overlooked.
Yet, it’s a factor for a lot of kids struggling to potty train. In this post, I’ll show you the variety of ways sensory can affect toileting and exactly what you can do to help your kid work through it.
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Why Do Kids With Sensory Issues Have Trouble Potty Training?
The sensory system affects just about everything we do and that includes using the bathroom. A child has to feel the sensation that they need to go to the bathroom, they need to be comfortable sitting on a toilet, know how to release their muscles, and experience the sensations of peeing or pooping, which may be painful or uncomfortable.
If you already know that your child has sensory issues, Autism, SPD, or ADHD and your child is having difficulties with potty training, then it’s likely that those sensory needs are affecting their ability to learn to use the toilet instead of a diaper.
However, sensory issues in general are often layered because they involve 8 different senses:
- Tactile (touch)
- Auditory (sound)
- Gustatory/Oral-Sensory (taste)
- Vision (seeing)
- Olfactory (smell)
- Vestibular (movement)
- Proprioception (body awareness)
- Interoception (sensations from internal organs)
Each of these senses can be linked to kids having difficulty with toileting. Your child could be refusing or unable to potty train due to sensory processing challenges from one or more of these senses.
*If you’re not sure if your child has sensory needs, grab this 21 sensory red flags printable for a quick checklist of some of the common signs.
Figuring Out Which Sensory Issue is Causing Potty Training Trouble…
Let’s break it down a little further by each of the senses that affects toileting:
Tactile:
- Likes the wet feeling in diaper
- Dislikes wiping
- Dislikes sensation of peeing/pooping while sitting on toilet
- Likes to feel/touch their feces
- Doesn’t notice when their diaper is wet
Auditory:
- Dislikes sound of toilet flushing
- Dislikes sound of fan in the bathroom
- Dislikes sound of automatic hand dryers in public bathrooms
- Dislikes buzzing of lights
Vision:
- Lights are too bright
- Distracted by possible bright colors, objects in the bathroom
Vestibular:
- Afraid of falling in, doesn’t feel steady, secure
- Difficulty sitting still because they want to be moving
- Feels like they’re going to fall off the side, doesn’t feel balanced
Proprioception:
- Can’t tell where to wipe and may feel overwhelmed or confused
- Difficulty coordinating steps of wiping
- Difficulty coordinating steps of pulling down pants, sitting on toilet, or lifting lid and aiming
Smell:
- Bothered by general smell of bathroom
- Bothered by smell of poop or pee
Interoception:
- Doesn’t notice the internal sensation that they need to use the bathroom
Oral-Sensory:
- Constipated from picky eating that results from sensitivity to eating/tasting different textures
As you look at the above list, consider which factors may be affecting your sensory kiddo. If you aren’t sure, ask them or begin to observe them more closely and when they seem to have difficulty. Then, check out the coordinating strategies below.
29 Tips for Potty Training Kids With Sensory Issues
As you begin to narrow down why your child is having a hard time potty training, choose some of the strategies below to help address those needs. Of course, the best way to address these sensory needs is by improving their sensory processing, whenever possible.
Learn more about how to do that in my free workshop: 3 Expert Secrets to Calm and Focus Kids with Sensory Activities, this absolutely applies to sensory related difficulties with potty training.
Strategies for Tactile Toileting Needs:
- Potty train naked (works well over a 3-5 day period where you shut it down and do nothing at home).
- Potty train in tight clothing to help them feel the wetness better.
- Use a warm baby wipe for wiping (gradually get used to toilet paper over time).
- Play in sensory bins regularly to get used to different textures like toilet paper (this helps to improve the overall processing of the tactile system).
- Play in sensory bins regularly so they can don’t seek out touching feces.
- Use body brushing under the guidance of an OT (also may help with decreasing desire to touch feces).
Strategies for Auditory Toileting Needs:
- Tell your child to cover their ears when it’s time to flush or you flush after they’ve left the room, although they need to get used to this sound eventually.
- Play soft music or upbeat music depending on what’s motivating or relaxing for your child.
- Turn off fan and other noises if bothered by noise.
Strategies for Vision Toileting Needs:
- Be aware of sensitivities to overhead or noisy lights. Consider a night light only or some other soft lighting.
- Clear clutter and visual distractions from bathroom.
Strategies for Vestibular Toileting Needs:
- Use a toilet seat cushion with handles like this one.
- Support their feet with a stool so their knees are bent and feet firmly planted on stool.
- Try a toddler toilet that’s close to the ground.
Strategies for Proprioceptive Toileting Needs:
- Create a visual schedule for the steps of toileting to put in the bathroom (or grab this one on Amazon here).
- Teach your child to stand and wipe, which may be easier for them to coordinate.
- Practice labeling body parts, including private parts for more accurate wiping.
Strategies for Smell Toileting Needs:
- Ventilate the bathroom as much as possible by opening a window/turning on fan.
- Use an essential oil diffuser in the bathroom or an air freshener before your child goes into the bathroom.
- Swipe an essential oil across your child’s wrist and encourage them to smell their wrist while toileting.
Strategies for Interoceptive Toileting Needs:
- Describe what it feels like to need to go to the bathroom, ask your child to start noticing when they feel that way.
- Tell your child when you need to go to the bathroom.
- Choose a time frame for your child to try and go to the bathroom on a consistent basis (every 2 hours, after eating/drinking, etc.).
- Have them flush poop down the toilet with you from their diaper so they can see they had a bowel movement and begin to make a connection to what their body is doing.
Strategies for Oral-Sensory Toileting Needs:
- Use picky eating strategies to increase tolerance of textures and tastes. Get a boat load of ideas in our picky eating guide.
- Encourage your child to play with their food to help get them used to new foods and expand to vegetables and higher fiber foods.
General Toileting Strategies that are Helpful for Kids with Sensory Issues:
- Pick a time frame when you’re really going to be focusing on potty training. Try to clear your schedule as much as possible so it can be your primary focus.
- Remind yourself that potty training takes time and that for kids with sensory needs it’s usually a process.
- Be consistent about regularly putting your child on the potty. Sensory kids need a lot of repetition and tend to do best with routine.
Toileting with Sensory Issues in Public
Keep in mind that any public restroom or Port-a-John has a ton of different sensations that may bring new challenges for your child. Your child may make great strides at home but need more time to get the hang of it in public. Consider carrying sunglasses, an essential oil roll on, and noise cancelling headphones if lights, smells, or sounds are triggers.
If you have a van or SUV, you also may want to carry a portable kids potty in the back as an option too!
Now it’s your turn.. what potty training tips do you have? Leave any tip no matter how big or small so we can create an awesome resource for every parent that stops by looking for help.
More Help for Kids with Sensory Issues
Here’s a Method to Help Kids That Hate Hair Washing
What to Do When Your Child Is Overwhelmed at Parties and Large Crowds
8 Quick Tips for Kids that Hate Getting Sunscreen Put On
9 Tricks for Kids That Hate Brushing Their Teeth
Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 17 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
My 3 yo daughter can always tell when she has to go poop and has always had success, but never knows she needs to go potty until it’s coming out. Then, she proceeds to get distracted and needs to grab 5 toys before we even get to the bathroom…she’s never had an issue or awareness when her pants are wet, even when she was little she’d climb in her water table fully clothed and unbothered. We start seeing an OT hopefully soon!
Hi Kaly! Definitely sounds like it could be sensory related- seeing an OT will be very helpful!
Best,
Kalyn
Hi my name is Nisa and I have a 5 year old son who’s autistic, along with sensory issues, my son is currently non verbal and doesn’t know how to tell that he needs to go toilet but however there are signs for example standing against wall or hiding away in a corner, when he does this I take him to the toilet sit him down and he will do it with no problem for now but when it comes to no 1 wee wee, he will not sit down on the oilet and can even control his wee for almost 6 hours without even having a wet accident reason being he wants his nappy on to do the wee… I’m really depressed about this as he’s currently at school and sometimes refuses to drink water and also controls his wee for almost 6 hours… pls can someone helpnme with any strategies
My 3.5 year old son has SPD. We’ve tried potty training 3-4 times now and have failed each time. He’s super stubborn and refuses to sit on the potty despite the fact that he doesn’t like sitting in a poop diaper.
We’ve struggled to find anything to motivate him. He’s super picky with food.
We have no idea what to do. Any suggestions for a kid that is stubborn and refuses to listen?
Hi Frank! Thanks for reaching out! Potty training can be such a challenge! So many kiddos have worries about pooping in the potty. It can be pretty scary for them! One trick to encourage him to sit while he poops, is to take it slow and let him sit on the potty with the pull up on and have him poop in the pull up. Then together you dump the contents of the pull up into the potty. Once he’s mastered that, you move towards sitting on the potty without the pull up. Potty training can be really difficult for anyone, especially when sensory difficulties come into play! If you want to check out more about sensory in general, we have a free workshop that you might want to check out. Getting to the root of the sensory issue can help with picky eating as well! You can save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
I feel so thankful I found this post. My girl is almost six years old and has not made noticeable improvement in her potty-training skills since she was three. Sometimes she can feel the need to poop or pee, but honestly most of the time she goes to the restroom just because somebody else (mom, teacher) tells her to go. She has 4 or 5 accidents each week, from little leaks to underwear full of poop. Since the pediatrician has ruled out physical concerns and constipation, he insists it must have a psychological cause, but it does not seem to be the source to me (she is a well-adjusted child in a stable home). On the other hand, she needed therapy when she was younger due to sensory issues, extreme picky eating, difficulty starting to speak and later difficulty staying in a position for even a short lapse of time. Other than making explicit the clues that my body gives me when I need to go to the restroom and ask her how she feels before or after going to the bathroom, is there something else I can do to help her overcome this problem? I really appreciate any clues
Hi Marcela! Thanks for reaching out! We’re so glad you found us! For the first step, we would definitely recommend using the list above of the different type of sensory issues to first determine which category she falls into. You can even ask her some of these questions to see if you can get a better understanding of what she’s experiencing and how she feels. Once you’ve narrowed it down to a specific sensory issue, you can try the strategies we’ve listed in the article for each category. In general, consistency, repetition, and routine are all important factors. If you need help identifying and managing her sensory sensitivities, check out our free sensory workshop! You can save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
I would ask for a whole genome sequence testing, it’s scary, we are going through the same. We had our son diagnosed with ARID1B.
Glad I came across this article really struggling at the moment with out 4 year old boy. He started big boy scoop in September and was half day as he wasn’t fully ready. He was in pull ups. During witsen holidays we was asked for him to get use to the toilet and get rid of the potty and when he goes back to where pant. During this time school had been helping with the transition and was going ok few accident but he was going well. But all of a sudden he won’t even sit or stand by the toilet and try. He is slower than other with speach and also fussy with his food. If he drops his food or drops on him he doesn’t like it and needs to be wiped up straight away. I am know thinking could this be sensory thing. He hasn’t been tested for any autism or anything but schools outing things in place to see if he needs extra support.
Hey Carrie,
We’re so glad you found us! Potty training and sensory challenges can really be a struggle for some families. You’re not alone! Often discomfort with getting messy with food is sensory based. Giving him a damp wash cloth to wipe himself up during mealtimes can be a big help. Our sensory page is filled with some great articles that would be helpful for you. Reach out with any questions at all 🙂
Best,
Andrea
Our campervan broke down on side of the road and cue my 4year old needed a poo. I had a potty for her sibling. I had a brainwave…line the potty with a nappy then once poo was done everything was contained in nappy in nappy bag and potty clean to transport. Might work well for people needing to use potty in public or by side of road
Hey Tricia,
Great idea! Thanks for sharing!
Best,
Andrea
Hi my 4 year old struggles to know when he needs to wee during the day, particularly when he’s anxious or nervous. We’ve spent the last year struggling and he seems to be getting better. His main issue is interoception. How do we transition out of diapers at night. He’ll just lie in bed for hours shivering and covered in wee if we don’t do anything.
Hey Angie,
Thanks for reaching out! I’ll just start off by saying that many kiddos, especially boys, are able to be potty trained during the day but still need pull ups or diapers for quite a while as slightly older kids. Check in with his doctor, but many times it’s just fine to take a bit longer at the night time training. Looking into addressing interoception would also be a great place to start. Making note for a week of when he typically has an accident at night can be helpful, then it might be possible to anticipate it ahead of time and have him get up to use the potty to get his body used to it. This can be tough!
Best,
Andrea
Ok. Mom w two kiddos. My daughter 15 had pooping issues where she would flip n hold it now MY SON is 4-1/2. Spd. He gets his we in the potty but he stands right up n poops. No pull up during the day so in the morning he will poop in pull up when he gets up. Then I change him n have been putting a pull up on in middle of night. Now he was sitting right up on the potty but now. Not even the slightest. I’ve freaks out we have been looking for more tips tricks anything really to help us.
Hey Keaghan,
Potty training can be such a challenge! So many kiddos have worries about pooping in the potty. It can be pretty scary at first! One trick to encourage him to sit while he poops is to take it slow and let him sit on the potty with the pull up on and have him poop in the pull up. Then together you dump the contents of the pull up into the potty. Once he’s mastered that you move towards sitting on the potty without the pull up. I hope that makes sense!
Best,
Andrea
My almost 5yo can poo in the toilet and has awareness as has done many times but on the whole either stool withholds for days or poops in his pants whilst standing. I’ve tried bribery… It is shortlived!
Hey Emma,
That sounds so challenging! It may be the case that he isn’t always aware every single time he has to go. This happens a lot when kids are focused on other things. If he is holding it for days, some of these suggestions for constipation might be helpful as well.
Best,
Andrea
I’m a single mom of two boys and so glad I came across this article!! I thought I wasn’t doing something right! There were a couple of things I noticed on this list for my now 6yo who struggled (and still does occasionally) with toileting. My oldest son also had this issue when younger, but not as long.
I’ve been doing more studying on sensory connections to my 6 yo’s behavior. Having this information helps me to explain what is going on to other parents who don’t see his behaviors as “normal” (i.e., touching feces). He still struggles with pooping in the toilet, going when he notices the feeling, and wiping after pooping. Occasionally, he experiences day-wetting, but he has gotten much better.
Thanks for the info! Came at the right time for me. I’m training my just turned 3 year old now, started Friday. Pooping is a big issue. My other children pooping came easily as it’s more of a feeling you get. But this guy has control issues with his poop. And bowels are NOT regular due to his picky eating.
My tip is M&Ms. One for pee, two for poop and dry morning. Yup, Bribery. It helps, a lot. Clear jar with a lid on the back of toilet with the big bag of candy in it. These are small enough that they don’t cause a meal problem.
Hi Kelmikis,
Thanks for sharing! We’re so glad you found the post helpful! Potty training can be really difficult for anyone, especially when sensory difficulties come into play! If you want to check out more about sensory in general, we have a free workshop that you might want to check out. You can save your seat HERE.
Best,
Andrea
My almost 3 yo was sitting on the toilet mornings and evenings just fine. But he eventually started to run away when we noticed a BM starting (Bc we’d run him to go potty). And on the potty one night, he was so upset and started hitting his head. So we’ve backed off of potty training. Do you advice or insight?
Oh that sounds so tough! Some kids do get really overwhelmed, particularly by bowel movements. Sometimes starting off by dumping the contents of the diaper in the toilet with him nearby can be helpful in gettings him used to the idea. I also love using tons of potty books and videos to help kiddos be a little less overwhelmed. I hope that helps!
Best,
Andrea
What stuck out the most to me is that my already potty trained 5 year old doesn’t like to wipe him self after pooping. He is ready to learn but gets overwhelmed.nhow to help him with this?
Gloves to keep hands clean?
Hi Nikeisha,
It is so common for this to be the last thing for kiddos to learn! Sometimes using the flushable wipes can be helpful at first, it requires less wiping- which a lot of kiddos avoid at first. Another suggestion is to practice a bit when he hasn’t actually had a bowel movement. That way he can get used to the motion at first! I hope that helps!
Best,
Andrea