What does it really mean for a child to be a picky eater? Find out when it becomes a food aversion disorder, extreme picky eating, or a food phobia and get tips to help turn it around.
Many parents consider one or more of their kids to be a so called “picky eater”. It’s a term we hear EVERYWHERE, spoken on the lips of parents around the globe. But, sometimes the picky eating seems to be more extreme. Like when your child has a sensitive gag reflex when tasting, touching, or even looking at new foods. Or, when they tantrum and even totally meltdown at the suggestion of eating something new. And, when they only have a handful of foods in their diet, that leaves the looming question, “When picky eating becomes more serious, does a child have a food phobia, selective eating, picky eating or food aversion disorder?”
Parents that are living in this extreme stress are often wondering what to do to help their child eat, and a solution seems unattainable. But, there is hope. I know because as a feeding therapist (and mom), I’ve seen many extreme picky eaters overcome it and grow to have a healthy relationship with food.
To understand why a child may be a selective eater, we’ve got to dive a bit deeper into the meaning of picky eating…
What Does Picky Eating Mean, Anyways?
What does it really mean to be a picky eater? If you scroll through the comments on various articles on this site, you will find a range of picky eaters from parents looking for advice for a child that is refusing several vegetables, to one that has a seemingly overactive gag reflex every time they even look at some foods. Surely, all of these kids can’t all just be picky eaters, or can they?
Hardly. It’s actually more accurate to think of picky eating as a spectrum. On one end of this spectrum is the average picky eater, that eats a decent variety of food, but can be particular at times. Most families don’t really notice a disruption to their lives with this mild version of picky eating, even though it can be annoying at times.
On the other end of the spectrum is extreme picky eaters or children with a “picky eating or food aversion disorder”. I’ve seen both in my own home! When my second son was born, as soon as foods were introduced, he gagged and didn’t show an interest. While that can be normal, it persisted. He seemed to have no interest in eating. He definitely fell on the more extreme end of picky eating. I had to use some more targeted strategies and a lot of consistency to turn him around. He had underlying sensory issues with food, and this picky eating thing just wasn’t going to go away on it’s own. You can read about how I got him to go from being a child that won’t eat to one that has a healthy relationship with food.
Totally on the other side of the picky eating spectrum, I’ve watched both of my other two kids go through what I like to call “normal” picky eating. In fact, my 2 year old picky eater is in it right now. This morning he came down for breakfast and hardly ate any oatmeal, his favorite breakfast. A few months ago, he stopped eating yogurt, but for the most part, he has a well rounded diet.
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When Does a Child Actually Have Some Type of Food Aversion Disorder?
There a lot of different terms coined by different researchers and practitioners to describe a child that eats very small variety of foods.
The SOS Approach to Feeding, by Kay A. Toomey, uses the term problem feeders. And, authors Rowell and McGlothlin, in one of my favorite picky eating books, Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating, use the phrase extreme picky eaters to describe these kiddos. You’ll also hear, picky eating disorder, food aversion disorder, food phobia, neophobia, selective eating disorder, and well, the list goes on and on.
To be honest, whatever word you use, there isn’t consistency among professionals like pediatricians and feeding therapists using a diagnosis, even though Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) was added to the DSM-V (that’s the guide doc’s use to give diagnoses).
Even though you may have never heard of any of these terms, the distinction between average picky eating and the more extreme food aversion is important. Generally speaking, picky eating can be a normal part of childhood, albeit annoying and frustrating. Selective eaters are beyond picky eating and usually need the help of a feeding therapist to make progress eating new foods. In these cases, eating is actually a serious problem for the child and can have a big impact on family life.
On top of that, general feeding advice often doesn’t apply to these kids! Besides parents feeling frustrated by that, they often have to deal with well-intentioned, but vastly incorrect, comments about how they just need to give their kids some tough love when it comes to eating. Have you heard the advice, “Just feed them what you’re eating and they’ll eat eventually, when they get hungry!”???
That may work for some kids that fall on the milder side of the picky eating spectrum, but for kids with food aversions, it could be disastrous, even leading to a feeding tube. That may sound dramatic, and although it’s unlikely, it is possible.
I want to get really clear about the definition of an average picky eater and one of a child with more extreme picky eating. My hope is that it gives you some peace of mind, and answers the ever nagging question of your child needing more help!
These are some of the characteristics of Average Picky Eaters:
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- Eats 20- 25 foods on a regular basis. Eats at least a few fruits/vegetables, carbs, and proteins
- Can be coaxed to occasionally try new foods
- Bribes, rewards, and punishment will often work
- Usually will eat foods similar to their favorites. For example, will eat a variety of chicken nuggets or pizza, they will typically not reject different brands or styles
- Sometimes eats foods different than the rest of the family
- Will suddenly refuse a food they have preferred, but will eat it again in the future (Just like my youngest son and the oatmeal)
These are some characteristics of Kids with Food Aversion Disorders/Selective Eating/Extreme Picky Eaters:
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- Eat less than 15 foods consistently, maybe as few as 1-3
- May gag, shudder, or vomit at the site or taste of foods (Just like my second son when he started eating)
- Common picky eating strategies like the “try a bite” rule and punishment often don’t help them to eat more or new foods
- May become emotionally upset when they are encouraged to interact with non-preferred foods
- Refuses large categories of foods (vegetables, meat, etc.)
- Might lose weight or have growth concerns
- Seems to have a sensory issues with the food (the way it smells, looks, feels, etc.)
- May insist on foods being preferred in specific ways or will only eat a specific brand/style of food
- Almost always eats food different than the rest of the family
- Will suddenly refuse a food they previously preferred and never eat it again
- May only eat with distractions like a tablet, TV, or toys
The SOS feeding approach has a great printable here of the differences between picky eaters and problem feeders, and it includes some of the characteristics on this list.
How to Help Children With Food Aversions or Extreme Picky Eating
Please keep in mind that the lists above are just guidelines and if you aren’t sure where your child falls or you feel confident they are an extreme picky eater, consider having a feeding evaluation (click that link for how to set it up in your area). Usually, that is completed by an occupational therapist, like myself, or a speech therapist. If your child is under 3 and in the states, you should qualify for a free evaluation.
I will say this, the one piece of advice that will not work with an extreme picky eater and that you will never see here on Your Kid’s Table is to serve your kid what you’re eating and they will eventually get hungry and eat. This is a huge myth and many well meaning people love to dispense this advice: Moms, Grandpa’s, neighbors, and friends that haven’t had a child with sensory food aversions or extreme picky eating. Many kids with picky eating disorders will NOT eventually eat, they will end up in the hospital because they are starving.
Fortunately, parental instincts tell moms and dads this and they usually don’t try or give up on this approach quickly. That isn’t to say that picky eaters should be allowed to rule the roost, either. In fact, I believe there’s a few keys to create a balance between parents setting up healthy boundaries and kids being treated respectfully, all while helping them to eat more foods!
Want to know what they are? Then, grab a free spot in my free picky eating workshop for parents right here!
It’s perfect for helping you with the average or extreme picky eater!
More for Kids with Food Aversion Disorders and Extreme Picky Eating
What You Need to Know About Sensory Issues with Food
10 Extreme Picky Eating Red Flags that You Need to Know
The Most Amazing Healthy Snacks for Picky Eaters
Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 15 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
Hi, my son is 9 and plays too many sports. He’s a picky eater and notorious fir skipping lunch at school. He gets migraines if he doesn’t eat often yet he still continues to do it his way. I’ve tried the techniques you mentioned but where he gets migraines it changed everything. Any advice? Thank you
Hi Ari! Thanks for reaching out! Check out this blog post with lunch tips, which can hopefully get him to eat lunch at school, and therefore will hopefully prevent those migraines! For more help with picky eating, check out our picky eating workshop!
Best,
Kalyn
Wow I’m happy I found this page, the feeding tube situation sounds scary! I feel like im starving my child, I hope we won’t need a feeding tube! We are definitely in the Extreme category, my toddler will be 4 this December and he only he’s maybe 1-3 foods if that a day and although I may have a list longer of foods I know he likes, it could be months and months between some foods he’s likes, he may like it one week then doesn’t touch it for a long time. So he’s only literally eating 1-3 food items a day in total. He likes milk, I do replace with Pediasure sometimes, then he likes apples strawberries, go gurt in a tube, bacon, apple gate chicken sausages, tortilla land tortillas, chicken nuggets, pizza, mozzarella sticks, string cheese, gold fish, pancakes, cookies, bbq chips, popsicles- This list sounds like junk but that’s it. 15 foods, but only will he 1-3 foods from his fav food list a day. So I feel like I’m starving my child, he won’t even try other food, he won’t put it to his lips at all. I guess I need to do 3 Pediasures a day. Any advise? My child is also speech delayed, he’s speaking on a 2 year old level. Maybe his delay goes hand in hand. He really can’t communicate with me. His vocab is less than 15 words. I just want to pull my hair out. Help!!!
Hi Nicole! Thanks for reaching out! We totally understand how difficult it can be- you are not alone! Definitely consult your pediatrician to rule out any medical issues and to potentially get a referral for an Occupational Therapist, who can offer hands on support! Also, we highly recommend our FREE picky eating workshop that offers additional tips and information to help with extreme picky eating. Save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
Hi!
I am a SENCO and i have been reading a few of your articles. I have a child I’m working with who is 4 and will only eat blended food if they are spoon fed. They do not feed themselves and will not eat any finger foods even at home with parents. The child has picked up a potato wedge and licked it, but that is all. I am struggling to support the parents and unsure how to approach the idea of seeing a specialist to check for sensory issues or other concerns. Id appreciate any advice you can offer!
Thank you for the help!
Hey Danika,
I’d really start to try to work on getting touching a variety of textures, doing sensory bins to get used to touching and food play (with crafts outside of mealtimes). Starting with this, can help work their way up! If you are having trouble getting her to touch any of these things you can discuss the sensory side of it at that point, so they can see concretely. Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Your Kids Table Team Member
I am very concerned about my grandson. He will be six in a few weeks and will only eat certain chicken nuggets, tacos, certain pizza without cheese, pbj but you have to put peanut butter on one slice and jelly on the other slice of white bread, and steak. He devours candy, cookies and Cheetos. He throws a tantrum and is rewarded by being allowed to eat cookies or candy. He did not start out this way. When he started eating he would eat a wide variety of foods. It has gotten progressivly worse as he has gotten older. He has behavioral problems and is now on medication for ADHD.
Hi Dona! Thanks for reaching out! Picky eating can definitely spiral from an inconsistent feeding routine. We have a free picky eating workshop that can help with this! Check it out and save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
I’m at a complete lost! My son was born and had a lip tie and tongue tie that was not found until he was 2! He ate baby food fine and then stopped and started to refuse it. When they released his ties he started to talk! But he will not chew, or use a straw cup. I mean he has a complete cow trying anything else. You can tell he’s trying to chew but it hasn’t been successful because he just wants to swallow the food. He was eating mashed potatoes and apple sauce. Now he’s eating puree toast sticks and completely stopped eating the mash potatoes and apple sauce. I tried to expanded it so he had more then 1 thing but he cuts the other foods out. His food therapist is only concerned on his talking but my son says his whole Alphabet and can talk just fine. We aren’t sure what else to do, we both went through every website and source possible. We are so stressed out by this. When he does take a bite of his french toast we all are eating at the table and all cheer him on so he has some positive.
Hi Jean! Thanks for reaching out! We know how stressful eating issues can be. We definitely recommend consulting with your pediatrician if possible, since they can refer you to a feeding therapist for some hands-on help. Since he’s stuck mainly on purées, he may need help with chewing/swallowing. In the meantime, practice with some sensory and oral motor exercises by using sensory bins, food play, and allowing him to touch/feel/play with his food. Try using a toothbrush to brush the insides of his mouth before mealtimes. Other oral motor exercises include making silly faces, blowing bubbles, sipping from straws, and licking lollipops/popsicles. These exercises will help strengthen his oral muscles, which are what he uses to chew/swallow his food. You may also try demonstrating eating/chewing by having him watch you make the over-exaggerated motions, or even use toys to demonstrate feeding and having him practice feeding the toy. We also have a free workshop that can help with eating table foods- save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
Hello, my 7 year old has always been a good eater. From Spice, curry, lots of different flavours. She loves lots of food and is willing to try things. However all of a sudden out of the blue she has become “picky”. Won’t eat meat because it’s chewy. Wants everything a certain way. Doesn’t like the yogurt I buy only wants a certain type. Pls help. Why all of a sudden? Should I be concerned? I will admit I’ve been going about it the wrong way. Nagging her to eat and hovering over her. She is on the slighter side and I worry about her weight.
My four year old will only eat noodles with butter, popcorn, cheese tortillas, sometimes sandwhiches (only if they are cut into stars), sometimes sliced carrots, donuts or candy. She seems to only like extremely bland foods with almost no flavor.
Most days I spend the ENTIRE day just making meal after meal, trying to find something that she will eat. I have tried putting her in time out, taking away her kindle, even literally begging her to eat. If I list foods to her, she will not answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. I just have to make them and see if she will eat them. If the smallest element is not EXACTLY how she wants it, she will refuse to eat all together, even the things that she likes.
Sometimes she will go DAYS without eating anything more then a cheese tortilla. She throws up sometimes because of it and there have even been a few incidents where she has gone completely pale and lifeless and I could not keep her awake no matter what I did. We just moved from another state right before the pandemic started so she does not have a primary care physician and I am scared to take her to a clinic because of COVID being so rampant in out state. The last thing that she needs is to battle an illness on top of everything. What do I do? I am so scared and desperate and I just don’t know what to do. Please help.
Hi Tina! Thanks for reaching out. We understand how hard this can be! Because of what you described with her sometimes appearing pale and lifeless, we would definitely recommend consulting with a pediatrician once you’re able to do that! Plus, a pediatrician could potentially refer you to a feeding therapist for some hands on help if needed. In the meantime, focus on making meals a positive experience by making sure there is no pressure put on her at mealtimes to eat. I know this might sound difficult, but once they feel that pressure removed, it can have a huge impact. It can be helpful to provide a preferred food at all meals, in addition to whatever the family is eating. This will show her that the entire family eats the same foods, but will make her feel comfortable having a preferred food available. Try to work on getting her involved with helping in the kitchen, to get her touching and engaging with the foods. This can be a really helpful step in moving forward. We have a free picky eating workshop that covers all of this and more- save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
My son is about to be 5 and will not try any new foods. He literally only eats/drinks donuts, marshmallows, danimal yogurts, protein shakes, and milk. We tried to get him to eat what we eat, but he gags and throws up. He also holds his mouth and says that what we eat is nasty. We have no clue what to do! Any advice would be helpful.
He did have a tongue tie, two cheek ties, and a lip tie. We got those fixed two years ago and was told that’s why he wasn’t eating good, but he still won’t try anything new.
Hi Jeralyn! Thanks for reaching out! So sorry to hear that your son has difficulties with eating- we understand how stressful it can be. First, we would recommend discussing this further with your pediatrician, who could potentially refer you to a feeding therapist for some hands-on help. It definitely sounds like he has some sensory sensitivities, especially with the gagging/vomiting issue. Try some sensory and oral motor exercises, like sensory bins, food play, making silly faces, and using a toothbrush to brush the insides of his mouth. All of these things will help strengthen his oral muscles and desensitize his gag reflex/sensory sensitivities. We have a post that talks more about all of this. Check it out here!
Best,
Kalyn
My child used to be such a great eater. He would eat steak, chicken, turkey, ground beef, pork chops, etc. He would also eat white rice, Mexican rice and fried rice. He ate fruits and vegetables with no problem at all. He’s witness a divorce in parents and his biological mother would constantly and consistently provide frozen meals and fast food, every day. This is still occurring. When at home, she would not cook and would allow the kids to eat chips and candy for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, whatever was convenient. The biological father would make different meals on a daily basis when they were in his care. The child never had any issues until recently. Child will now ask for an alternative meal and will not eat what’s made or provided. Now, he does not even eat turkey sandwiches. He has limited his foods to; tuna, fried foods(fast food), eggs, some breakfast foods and the obvious, junk foods(chips, candy). The divorce has been almost 3 years now and the biological mother has been trying to save money so she no longer purchases fast food items daily. She does still have frozen items available. We are all struggling to motivate him to expand his diet or his interest in food items. Today he had a doctors appointment and was advised to stay away from fried and greasy foods, chips, soda, juices. He is considered “obese.” Any advice, please?
Hi Melissa! Thanks for reaching out- we understand your concerns. It’s hard when a child has different routines and different foods from different households. Consistency is key! We like to encourage promoting a no-pressure environment. This means, not pressuring the child and allowing him to eat as much or as little as he chooses. The food, however, will be your choice. Serve him the same meals as everyone else and have him sit at the table for the entire duration of mealtime. You can always start by offering one of his preferred foods in addition to the meal, so that he feels more comfortable with the food on his plate. We also have a post that talks about encouraging healthy eating the right way. Check it out here!
Best,
Kalyn
I don’t have any toddlers but I do have a teenage daughter who only eats soup for breakfast (ramen noodles with ALL the salt included) we suggest she eat other breakfast foods but she refuses and doesn’t eat most things. She doesn’t eat lunch at school and when she does take lunch it’s the same Nutella sandwich and nothing else. Although she does manage to eat dinner when I cook she prefers to eat frozen food. I’m at a loss here because my two youngest daughters (6,8) have a very healthy diet. -Signed a worried Stepmom
Hi Tahereh! Thanks for reaching out. Picky eating is very frustrating, especially when it continues into teenage years. Try meal planning with her in preparation for the week- even if it’s for just one meal out of the day. Having her help you in the kitchen to prepare these meals will also help expose her to more food variety. For more tips and information, check out this blog post to help with your teen.
Best,
Desiree
My nephew will not eat food all he eats is bacon ,french fries, chips, popcorn, sometimes he will eat bread bananas and apples but very rare when he does. Thats his meal plan every day it’s been the same for the las 3 to 4 years he will no try no food at all
Hi Jennifer! We’ve definitely heard all of this before and know how stressful it can be! We have a free picky eating workshop that may help with your nephew’s eating habits. Let us know if we can help with anything. Save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
I finally feel seen – thank you for this wonderful resource!
You are so welcome! So glad this was helpful for you! Thanks so much for the feedback!
Best,
Desiree
My almost 3 year old eats basically nothing all day. When he does it’s either goldfish, dry cereal, french fries, shortbread cookies, and sometimes popcorn. He is still drinking lots of milk and water. He doesn’t even like juice or Gatorade (diluted or not). He used to eat more at a younger age like meats, beans, yogurt, and oatmeal. He will not eat off a spoon or fork anymore. He’ll turn his head away or say no. I know picky eating is common, but I feel like this has gone too far.
Hi Erin! Thanks for reaching out! We would recommend continuing to offer food in a variety of ways, without any force or pressure- making sure to serve him the same food as everyone else. Try including one of his preferred foods at mealtime- this might make him feel more comfortable to try the other foods on his plate. Keep exposing him to different things, including him in the cooking process, involving him, getting him hands-on with food, etc. Try using dips, fun spears or shapes to see if this makes him more interested! Dips can be helpful since they tend to mask the flavor of most foods. Aside from consistency and patience, getting to the root of his picky eating would be most beneficial. We have a free picky eating workshop that can help with this, check it out here!
Best,
Kalyn
I have a almost 3 year old she’ll turn 3 in September, when she was a baby she ate everything we gave her after she was about 10 month old would go trough phases that she would only eat avocado for every meal and it would last about a week or two. When she turned 1 she started being picky would sometimes eat everything and sometimes wouldn’t eat for days only drank milk. The dr said she is doing fine hight and waight wise so there’s no worry anyway long story short now she only has 5 foods and that’s it nothing more but if I give her chiken nuggets that she likes but will not have it again for afew days, some days she eats nothing at all she can go up to a week with only water and some milk
And refuses to eat at all. The dr doesn’t do anything and says she’s fine even though she has lost so much waight now she is the same waight as my 9 month old son.
I would appreciate you help
Hi Nora,
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re daughter is having these struggles. We know it can be concerning for parents! It can be helpful to provide a preferred food and milk with meals, so they is more inclined to sit down with the family and engage a little. Our free picky eating workshop would be a helpful place to start. You can save your seat HERE.
Best,
Andrea
Hi, My toddler is almost 3 years old and when I started to feed him on his 6 month he kept gagging and I had a problem feeding him since then. I breastfed him until 2 years of age and had to force him to drink formula milk to substitute, he doesn’t eat much. I have to cook soup and mushed rice to feed him. I’ve tried introducing new food but he kept gagging or sometimes cry when I ask him to eat. I also tried to stop feeding him formula milk to give way to solid foods but it didn’t work. He’s sensitive to texture, color or smell. I’ve been feeding him same food everyday. I’ve been trying to feed him vegetables but I need to mush every thing before he eats it but not always. I’m lucky if he eats what i’ve prepared. Now that he is 3 his weight is only 14kg. I’ve been so stressed ever since. What should I do? I really need your advice
Thanks for reaching out! It can be really stressful when our little ones don’t get the hand of eating solid foods. It can be helpful to try to start with dissolvable solids (such as graham crackers or Gerber baby puffs). They are great for learning to chew. We also have a post about teaching children to chew that might be a helpful place for you to start! I hope that helps get you started!
Best,
Andrea
You have a typo there. it’s “ARFID” not “AFRID”
Thanks so much for pointing out this typo! We have updated it 🙂
I think my son is more on the side of food aversion…. he is almost 9. and 43 lbs. His 7 year old sister is catching up to him in height and they weigh the exact same. (she is the polar opposite of him. She will eat anything… requests salads and devours pretty much any meal I make with little to no complaints. She’ll ask for hummus crackers and cheese for lunch, lobster in the summer… salmon and shushi. She’s got a very grown up taste)
He has always been afraid to try new things although I have gotten him to eat different kinds of chicken (fried, baked, roasted, grilled) but if I make a chicken pot pie for example he’ll only eat the chicken… no veggies. The One and only veggie he will touch/consider eating is corn. He’ll begrudgingly eat steak…but wont touch beef stew. He’ll eat pork in various ways but never pulled pork….Italian sausages he’ll eat too. He’ll spit out any meat that is chewy, charred, imperfect in looks.
BUT everything MUST be covered in Ketchup. Like unhealthy/disgusting amounts of ketchup. Even pasta with sauce or macaroni and cheese… ketchup. Grilled cheese.. dipped in ketchup… tacos drizzled in ketchup. It is his one major vice. If we run out of ketchup I panic.
He also eats only toddler sized portions…except when it comes to pizza.. then he can down 3-4 slices easy. This by the way is the one and only food he doesnt need ketchup on. (other than fruit which by the way he does like thank god)
His older brother was ultra picky too…but at about this age finally started opening up to trying new foods and now I dont generally have an issue with him. He is 12. But I legit remember training him to eat more foods before he went to his first summer of over night Boy Scout Camp 1/2 week at just the age his brother is now (or will be next summer… the summer before 4th grade). After that camp is where he turned around his habits.
PLEASE HELP!!! I am so over it all.
Hey Stephanie!
We get it!! It can be so hard and frustrating watching how picky they can be! I’d try to get him involved in the kitchen with helping with any meals as best as you can. This can help them get exposed to the other foods and make them more comfortable. We do also have a free workshop that is a great start at working on picky eating. If you haven’t seen it yet, save your seat here
Best,
Desiree
Thank you! I need all the help I can with this one
Hi, my son in 5 years old and hasn’t eaten a vegetable or anything ‘new’ in a year. He eats a few different cereals, cheese, salami, yoghurt, pears, saladas and corn chips. For dinner he will eat sausages, plain rice, plain pasta, or chicken nuggets.
That is it!
He will not try anything new despite bribes etc. if I so much a place something new on his plate (the other day I put one pea, one corn, one carrot) and he lost it, he wouldn’t eat until it was removed from his plate.
This has been going on for year. He won’t even get close enough to the food smell, touch or taste it.
I thought it would be a faze but it doesn’t seem to be.
It doesn’t apply to just veg etc, he won’t eat a corn chip if it is a different flour or shape, won’t try pizza despite loving cheese and salami, he doesn’t eat chips or even ‘junk food’ if he hasn’t had it before. Unless it’s sweets, he will almost always try new sweets.
Hey Natalie,
Thanks for reaching out to share your story with us! I’d try to start to remove all pressure from the table, this can be a big step for picky eaters to feel more comfortable within their home. You can learn all about how to remove pressure in our free workshop! Save your seat here
Best,
Desiree
Hi, I have 4 years old boy who is a extreme picky eater. Till the age of 1 year and half he was a good eater he used to eat everything. Since then he is drifting away and became picky eater. And now he is at the stage where he just drink pediasure 2 times a day and milk three times a day. And sometime he eats little rice, he doesn’t eat fruit or vegetables or any meat. I m very worried, don’t know what to do. Help would be highly appreciated
Hi, I have 4 years old boy who is a extreme picky eater. Till the age of 1 year and half he was a good eater he used to eat everything. Since then he is drifting away and became picky eater. And now he is at the stage where he just drink pediasure 2 times a day and milk three times a day. And sometime he eats little rice, he downs tear fruit or vegetables or any meat. I m very worried, don’t know what to eat.
Thanks for reaching out! We totally understand how difficult this can be. I’d first try to work on getting him involved with helping in the kitchen to get him touching and engaging with the foods. This can be a really helpful step in moving forward. We do also have a free workshop that is a really good first step towards opening him up to picky eating. You can save your seat here
Best,
Desiree
My 9 year old nephew does not eat veggies or fruits. The only meat is chicken nuggets. He only eats items like pb and j. Pancakes, cereal, etc. He has gained alot of weight in the past year and a half. What options do my sister in law have? She just lets him eat this way and it is out of hand.
Hi there!
We recommend working on the underlying cause of the picky eating and then work on expanding the foods that he’s eating. It does take some time, but this workshop can be a great place to start! You can save your seat HERE.
Best,
Desiree
My 5 yr old had gotten sick a while back and ever since then he has not wanted to eat like he use to he will take little bites of some things and that’s it he will just want to drink milk I ask him are you hungry and always says no Im not sure what else to do besides take him to the doctor he needs to eat more
Hey Caitlin,
So sorry you are dealing with this, we get how hard it is! I’d try to make sure there is a no pressure environment for him, this can be extremely helpful in getting kids to eat. We do have a free workshop on how to do that, as well as other tips and items to try. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Well this is more about my self I am 14 years old almost 15 years old and I have always been a picky eater but it’s getting worse like now I won’t eat some foods that I used to like so I’m having the same meal as I hate a lot of thing or haven’t tried them for instance I’ve never tried pizza cause I’m afraid to the same as a burger etc. So what should I do a she now my parents are sick of my being very picky and saying I must now try new stuff but I mm afraid what should I do and what would u call that I have like is it a picky eating disorder or something please resond with a answer
Hey Charly,
Thanks for reaching out to us, we know that it’s not easy being a picky eater. Check out this article for teen picky eaters and I’d share with your parents as well. There are some tips in there to work through as well as a link for describing “extreme picky eating” which is what we term the more severe picky eaters. You can read it here
Best,
Desiree
Hi! I have a 2yo who is extremely picky eater with chronic constipation and also egg & milk allergy.
I am honestly at my wits end cause he dont eat proper food at all.
He basically eat something today only once and will refuse anything alr after. He only likes banana. And will refuse the next few days. He was once a very VERY good eater before this.. but everything just change as he grow and now he is getting skinnier everyday. It worries me alot and its been going on for quite some time now. What should i do. 😔😔
We understand how hard this can be! I’d try to make meals a positive experience with making sure there is no pressure put on him at mealtimes to eat. We are just going to be starting our free picky eating video series today, where you will learn all about this and other strategies to help you picky eater. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
I have a 4 year old who has suffered with chronic dairy allergy and reflux since he was born. The reflux controlled with some degree of success but at other times not at all. It’s now under control but I think it’s left a severe anxiety around eating. He will eat dry cereal, ready brek (kind of like porridge) plain pasta, plain rice, occasionally bread or toast. Mini sweetcorn peas and sweetcorn but no other veg and
Absolutely no meat or fish unless chicken nuggets or fish cake. Mash and potato letters. He’ll drink fruit smoothies but that’s the only way I get fruit and veg in him.
He’ll declare he doesn’t like food or just throw it. I put new things on his plate but if he doesn’t want them then the plate can get thrown. I don’t ask
Him to eat them and try and remove any pressure. I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m exhausted. Can you help? Thanks Clare
Hey Clare,
We know how hard this is! But we are here for you! You mentioned removing pressure this is a HUGE first step! I’d also be working on getting him involved in the kitchen with helping prep some meals or cooking fun, as this can help them relax around mealtimes as well. We do have a free workshop that is full of tips for where to start and getting them to move forward. You can save your seat here
Best,
Desiree
Hi there,
I have a 31/2 year old who can eat quite well on his own and likes all foods. He refuses to eat himself unless we tell him 100 x then he’ll take one bite then be completely distracted until we tell him again and again. If we spoon feed him he eats much quicker which is of course as two working parents has been our solution.
Hey Liane,
We understand how hard all these situations can be. I would try to remove all pressure from eating (it can be hard as parents, but once they feel that pressure removed, it can have a huge impact). We are starting our free video series soon, which will walk you through some great information and where to go with your child, even though he eats/likes all food, being able to remove the distractions and him feeding himself could be helpful. I think this workshop can help get you there. Save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
I have a 16 month old, I tried the messy plays, introducing with gerber luffs and some other meltable food.. but for some reason we are stacked on that step. For 4 weeks now, when we introduced other meltable food, he doesn’t like the other yoghurt melts and puffs. Now he just wants sweet biscuits. I can’t move with some other step as he is refusing the other puffs from which he seems to like before. I tried giving small pieces of soft bread but he will take 3-5 bites only. Also, we can only feed him whilst playing or having a tablet to watch. If he doesn’t have anything he’d play on his hands, it’s so tough for us to feed him. We think he has a big sensory Defensiveness and will only eat/pick Food he likes. I tried reaching out to my pedia but the only advise I got is to wait it out. He’s very slow in his growth and below than the regular weight for his age. I’m not sure how can we reach or get evaluated or reach for a feeding therapist. Coz I really need some advice on what to do.
Hey Frances,
So glad you are working with the meltables and moving your ways up, so great job with that. I would continue to do the playing with food/messy play outside of mealtimes, but including the new foods that you are going to want him to play with to get exposure and work on him touching it and getting used to it. Also, if you have not seen our free workshop it is full of great information on setting up mealtimes for this age. Save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
What should I do when my husband is a picky eater as well?? He won’t eat any fruits or vegetables (does mashed potatoes count)?? When I serve my 2 children and husband vegetables for dinner, my husband makes a face and gags, so I believe that my children are following his lead. With my children, I have served sweet potatoes (for example) different ways – as fries, little squares, mashed, etc., yet they won’t even try 1 bite. I’ve even referred to sweet potato fries as “suntan fries” but that doesn’t work either. Got any advice? My husband also won’t eat rice, tacos, or salads too.
Hey Mary,
This is a common issue that we do hear about! I’d read over this article on parent picky eaters and have your husband read it as well. There are some tips, so maybe he can get on board or at least meet you in the middle so he’s not making faces in front of your kids 🙂 You can read about it HERE
Best,
Desiree
Нey there this is somewhat ߋf off topic Ьut I was wondering if blogs use WYՏIWYG editors oｒ if you have to manually code with HTML.
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Hi There, My son is 3 and a half years old. He eats around less than 5 foods, no fruit, no meat, no chicken, no veggies… although he used to eat chicken. I’m based in South Africa, please advise what I should do and who I should take him too? I have a suspicion it has to do with his tonsils… although I’m not positive. I know his tonsils is a problem though. Do I take him to a dietician?
A dietitian may be able to help, just make sure that they also are able to advise with feeding, not just nutrition. I’d also look into an occupational therapist, like myself, or speech therapist – as they can specialize in feeding.
However, tonsils can play a big role as well, and having a GI doctor look at him would also be helpful! I hope that helps!!
Hi Alisha, I have an 18month old. He hasn’t taken a morcel of food in the last four and a half months. He used to like his purees and transitioned to table foods. Me being an Indian, rice and vegetables are our staples. He would eat them too until one fine day when just said no and that was it. No amount of coaxing, distracting, pleading, luring has helped. He just wants milk all day. Have tried all varieties of foods that people generally offer to toddlers. Nothing has helped. Eats biscuits, plain cornflakes (no milk) and chips. Cucumber occasionally. Needs everything to be crispy. Doesn’t even touch any other food. His growth has slowed down. Height and weight much below average. Me and my husband end up fighting almost every other day. Pediatrician agrees that it is a form of extreme picky eating but unfortunately we get no help with that. Therapies for such issues is almost nonexistent here in India. Badly in need of help.
Falls sick so often. Hospitalization is becoming the order of the day. Please help
Hi Ashwini,
First off you are doing great!! You are reaching out for help and recognize there is something going on!! Let’s start off by having you complete our quiz on What kind of picky eater that you have!! This will help you put into a category and provide with some suggestions!
Best,
Desiree
My son is 10 and his eating habits seem to fall under extreme. He is a adhd, odd, mood and anxiety disorders. He naturally loves sugar and i have cut most of that back but he refuses to try new foods only likes things made a certain way. I have a hard time having a relationship because I get told my son is spoiled or picky or out of control. I really want the best but have no clue how to change him.
Oh Ashley, I’m sure this is so hard, and I’m sure you’re doing a great job. Any of those diagnoses are challenging and yet he’s facing so many of them. Most people don’t understand:( If you feel like picky eating is a major concern right now, one resource I have is the free picky eating workshop. You can watch it here.
We also have a sensory workshop, that is going to be bigger picture for all of his challenges. The link for that is here:
I hope that helps!
I’ve also heard my son is spoiled, I do get desperate and will give my child sugar foods just to get him to eat. But then I also think, I have 2 boys, completely different from each other… I’m the same mom to both. Kids are different, it’s not always just about the mom/ parent. I can completely feel your frustration, pain and anger… know it very very well. Good luck and a hug
My son is 7 and reading several articles from your website has confirmed to me he is not than “just a picky eater”. He only eats a handful of foods and discriminates againsy those (1 brand of nuggets, milk has to be from a sippy cup not open mouth, etc) and it’s only getting worse. Is he too old to see an earring therapist? Every day I stress that he isn’t getting enough nutrition
Absolutely not Amy! He’s absolutely old enough to go to feeding therapy. I’d look into that, but also check out my free workshop, I teach you three critical strategies that every picky eater needs to start eating new foods. You can sign up here.
What about a 9 year old problem eater? She has only recently come into my life, no one has ever worked with her on this and recognized it as a problem. Her list of foods is easily under 10 items and she is painfully thin. What are the chances of teaching her how to have a health relationship with food at age 9?
Yes, definitely! It may take a little bit longer, but it can definitely be done. I’d start here with my free picky eater workshop!
My daughter is 15 and I despair of her ever eating like a normal person. She still eats like she did when she was 5. Her pediatrician kept saying her taste buds would change when she hit puberty, but they never did. I’m at the end of my rope.
It’s not too late to look into feeding therapy, but you’ll have to look for someone that specializes in teenagers. I’d check out this post on feeding therapy, as well as my favorite book for extreme picky eaters.
I registered for the Alisha Grogan’s 2:00 pm webinar, but never received an email with the link.
Oh no Karen, sorry I’m just seeing this. Did you end up getting through?
Link to basic strategies to eating isn’t working. Would love to check it out if still available.
Fixed it Andrea, thank you!
My four-year-old son that has Asperger’s only eats cheese sandwiches with ketchup and a slice of cheese it has to be cut into tiny little strips with no crust. Not sure how to help him get to where he eats food again. He stopped eating all the foods that he seem to love after he gag or they tasted different.
Hey Sherece,
We totally understand where you are coming from and know how hard it can be! I’d work on trying to get him interacting and touching of foods to get him more comfortable around them, this can be very beneficial. We just recently opened up sign ups for our free picky eating video series, where we will be walking through where to start with picky eaters. I think it’ll be full of some great information for you! Sign up HERE
Best,
Desiree
Thank you so much for this post!!! I see it’s a few years old and I wish I had found it back then. My daughter got really sick on me when she was 11 months old with stomach issues for 3 1/2 weeks. I was told that it was probably a stomach virus that lingered in her because she was so young. She refused to eat baby food, or table food. All she wanted was her formula that lucky was soy based. She was not a picky baby before that and after that it was like she was tramatized, if we offered food she would go for it then before she grabbed it she would reacted with a sick look in her face and shake her head no, sometimes even have a phycial reaction like the shivers. Dr kept telling me it was her being picky and to just let her be that she will eat when she was hungry. I would try and after 1-2 days I would couldn’t stand doing it to her. As she got older she got worse, they told me to do the same thing and to be tough. I would try it and it was heart breaking having my 2 year old tell me “mommy I’m hungry” but not be able to eat what I laid out for her. I tried different shapes, sizes, bribes, treats, tough love, nice and compassionate and nothing worked. She only at 5-6 foods and at times would get sick of them herself from eating them so much. She was sent to get evaluated last year with a problem called birth to 3 that does therapy including feeding and they said she was to advance in everything else and didn’t qualify under the eating spectrum. They said I was doing great and to keep doing everything I was doing. That it was probably one of those times that I would have to wait for her to grow out of it. They felt so bad for me, they said because they felt like there was nothing else they could tell me to try that I had not done already. Since then my daughter started to have bowel issues. She couldn’t go for Day the most a week and a half and then would scream bloody murder then she would finally go these monster size movements. They finally sent her to a GI specialist in December of 2016 (she’s 3 now) and he’s telling me the same thing the pediatrician was. They have her on miralax and laxative to help her be regular and want her eating more. He told me to go “old school” and take everything she eats away and she “won’t starve herself” she will eat. I feel like a bad parent either way, because if I don’t do it I’m enabling her bad habits and it’s harming her system and if I do it she’s starving herself. For the past two weeks I have been trying the “tough love” and my daughter won’t eat. She cries constantly, I have tried everything from bribes with toys and food, being nice and loving to being tough and taking things away. Every fiber in my body is telling me this is doing more harm then good and after reading your article I was right. I’ve tried to force my daughter to taste food and she will cry for 20-30-40 mins and when she finally takes a bit she gags and throws up. She is literally starving her self and I’m scared to death she’s going to end up in the hospital. I’m so lost and glad I found your article! She’s has an evaluation with eating therapist the 22 of march and it could not come fast enough at this point. Thank yo again for this article, and the work you do with children and families!
Hi Darleen, I’m so sorry for the struggle you’ve been though. Its one I’ve heard so many times! I’m so glad she’s getting an evaluation, that should be really helpful.
Also, I’m getting ready to be offering 2 free workshops (they will be live) all about picky eating. I think it will be really helpful for you, you can sign up here
I highly recommend that you DO NOT take her foods away, as you’re now seeing. Its so hard when professionals tell you otherwise! I have a ton of info on here that I think will be really helpful, you can click start here to find more! Let me know if you have more questions or need more direction
Thank you so much I will definitely looking into both link. I gave her back the food the next morning and she’s been so much happier and has actually had a crazy appetite.. she’s trying to eat everything she can from what she eats. I am doing all the research I can do I can go in prepared and with information also to present to her pediatrician and her GI specialist. Thank you again for sharing all this information! I finally feel like I have answers and I was right that my daughter had something else going on then just a typical picky eater.
That’s wonderful Darleen! I’m so glad to here that, truly!!! I’d be cautious with serving the same food again, just so it doesn’t seem like punishment, but if its working then great! Let me know how everything progresses!
Reading through this made me realize we have gone beyond picky to problem with my 2.5 yr old autistic son. He will not eat any kind of dip or sauce, he will not eat rice or noodles or veggies… let’s list what he will eat, American cheese cut inton6 pieces, mini pancakes, peanut butter jelly sandwich but only if he makes it and no jelly ever leaks out whole, chocolate cake donut holes but will hold in his mouth for an hr at least, gummy fruit snacks, banana bit must be whole, clear liquids in sippy cup only, his special formula milk, cookies, crackers unless it breaks then it gets crushed, on occasion a bite of a dino nugget, randomly hashbrowns and scrambled eggs maybe 1x a month. That’s it folks.
Background lip tie, oral phase dysphagia, overactive gag reflex, acid reflux, allergies galore. All sorted by 18m. Ate normal and everything from 18M to 24m than stopped gradually accepting food to where we are now. Ot said not sensory based, speech said not mechanically based, aba said not just behavioral so now we’re lost:(
Oh my Kimberly, I totally hear you, I’ve worked with so many kids in similar instances, truly! To be honest, I’d get a second opinion and take a look at this post: 5 Reasons Kids Don’t Eat– you are familiar with a lot of these, but it may give you some new insights. I also have a comprehensive picky eating online course, that I cover everything you just mentioned. You can look at that here. Let me know if you have any questions!
Yes! This is what I hear all of the time when I tell someone about Liam only eating PediaSmart via bottle. They say, “I know how it feels to have a picky eater.” Well, yes he is picky but he also has other stuff going on sensory related and possibly behavioral related. He will be 2 next month and has JUST now started to put toys in his mouth. He will take pureed foods on a very rare occasion and sometimes a strawberry banana smoothie via bottle. We’ve been in OT since he was 13 months old and are trying to do more feeding therapy. He is being assessed for Autism as well. Any input on an inpatient feeding program like at Kennedy Krieger? I’ve heard good and bad and am wondering if this would potentially help my son. He has other developmental delays like speech and oral-motor for sure.
Hi Olivia, yes, you have your hands full. I have had treated kids like your little one. I think an inpatient can be really helpful, I’m not particularly familar with KK’s program. But, I know it isn’t for everyone. I know this is going to sound cliche, but it is true- what is your gut telling you? Get more info, a lot actually, take a tour if you’re able. If you don’t go that route, go to outpatient feeding therapy 2x a week, if you’re able to and have in-home 1-2x a week. These therapists need to be solely working on feeding. It’s fantastic that hes putting stuff in his mouth, encourage that often!
Thank you! Our OT that we have private is 100% focused on feeding. She went to a great training class and learned a lot of techniques to encourage him to do things with food. He will play with any texture and doesn’t seem bothered but it NEVER makes it to his mouth. On the occasion that he does put it at his mouth, we can’t see him do it or he will stop. We are working with the county program to see about getting some behavioral motivations for him but we shall see. He doesn’t talk either so that makes it hard. We’ve been tested for EOE and other things and all have come back okay. We are on the waiting list for KKI and shall see how that goes. Thanks for your input.
Hey, I have a just turned 3yr old preemie (3lb 9oz) at birth NICU 2 MONTHS.She has been hospitalized many times with respiratory issues,RSV and pnuemonias many times,with RSV, a NG tube feeding was a must bc she was starving n not eating or drinking.The last 6 months she has evolved into a problem feeder.She is on Zantac for Acud Refux meds but WILL NOT EAT AND STARVES,IM LOST AND SO SCARED THEY WILL RESORT TO A G OR PEG OR JG TUBE AND THAT WILL BE AWFUL,SHE ALSO SLEEPS SOOOO MUCH…..WHAT COULD THEY OR I BE MISSING…PLEASE HELP,ITS BECOME SERIOUS AS TO LIFE ALTERING/THREATENING.
Hi Melissa, I can only imagine how overwhelming this all must be, and I totally get it. Do you like the GI doctor? Do you feel comfortable with the plan in place? It sounds like you are covering all your bases from a medical standpoint. Here’s the thing though, once a child has had some very negative food experiences they get stuck in that rut and operate out of a place of fear. Is your child in feeding therapy? I would recommend that. I also have a program that might be helpful for you, you can check it out here: http://www.yourkidstable.com/join
Let me know if you have any more questions!
Hi Alisha, thanks for this informative article.
For further clarification, I’d like to understand what these numbers of food that kids eat mean.
Are these numbers based on a certain food or a dish prepared with it?
For example, my kids eat potato salad, baked potatoes and french fries, does that count as 1 food or 3 foods?
Or for example they love tuna pasta with pesto sauce, does that count as 1 food, or does it count as 3 foods (pasta, pesto sauce and tuna)?
My other questions is: what is then the definition of normal eater in terms of the number of items which I know is not the only criteria but still curious.
Thanks so much
Ahu
Hi Ahu, that counts as 3 foods! ANything that is different, no potatoes in general. I would try to expand on the pasta and maybe to the same pasta but with salmon or chicken or another type of fish.
You know I don’t have an exact number for “normal eaters”. My guess is, it would be over 40 foods. Don’t caught up there though. If you are over 20-25, your kids are doing great. Keep exposing them, keep it positive, encourage experimentation and messy play. Have them help you prepare food.
Sounds like you’re doing great!
I just found this site and I want to say thank you. My autistic son is definitely a problem feeder, but my youngest child, who is not autistic, is trying to follow suit. He constantly only eats the same food because we have to cook my autistic son a different meal from the rest of us. My youngest son ends up eating what my autistic son eats. It’s almost like youngest is learning from my oldest, and we are doing everything we can to combat this, but it’s really turning mealtimes into battles. I’m lost on what to do, but this advice really helps. Thanks so much
I understand that this is correct in some instances, but each circumstance is different. My 8 year old daughter is a problem feeder, but it is also self induced. She knows she don’t get away with it with me, however if mom is home she don’t eat anything she don’t want and she knows it. I can cook something for lunch when mom is gone and she will eat it with little to no complaining. I could make the exact same thing when my wife is there and she will gag before she even gets it into her mouth. If there are any people around she will make a complete spectacle of it. Yes I’m sure there are mental problems but just remember there is just the spoiled child also.
Hello, I just found this website and I would love to hear some type of advice. I have a 9-year-old daughter, she’s always been a problem eater but for the last two months it just got worst. She only eats French fries and soup (Mexican style). I am taking her t two doctor her regular pediatrician and another doctor in Mexicali. So far all the testing they’ve done comes out negative, telling me that is more mentally. Decided to take her for a psychological examination and is receiving therapy but she continues the same. She can last up to three days without eating telling me and crying over saying that even what she liked before grosses her out. I don’t know what to do, I am in a moment in which I am so concerned that I keep Reding articles trying to get more advice and haven’t been successful. I’ve been told that it might be something seasonal but this is moving on to three months, she only weighs 50lbs and its justo si overwhelming not knowing what to do. Whatever advice i can get will be great. Thanks!!!
Hi Maria, I totally understand how stressful this! I would highly recommend reading the book, “Help for Extreme Picky Eaters.” If you look in my menu bar you will see the article index. Click through there and look for a full review of the book.
Also, take a look at the eating basics tab, and start making those changes. Take a look at some of those resources and let me know if you have more questions!
I am so grateful that I stumbled across your website. My son is 3 years old and he is most definitely a problem feeder. He was diagnosed with failure to thrive when he was 7 months old and getting him to gain weight is such an uphill battle and we struggle with it everyday. I have talked to so many doctors and I constantly hear the same things and there has been no strategies that have consistently worked for us. Meal times are always a struggle and if I try to get him to eat what my husband and I are eating he will refuse to eat. I can’t help him gain weight if he won’t eat! He is so picky about what he eats that I am at a loss as to what to feed him at every meal. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Do I just feed him what I know he will eat or give him new foods that I know will end up in the garbage? Often times when I put new foods on his plate with some of his preferred foods he will refuse to eat anything because he doesn’t wan’t the new foods. Do you have any strategies to help with that? I am going to try to and find an OT who can help us but I would really love and appreciate any tips if you have them!
Hi April, as you can see from these comments, you are not alone! I know this site can be a bit overwhelming with the amount of information, but I would begin to go through it. You will find lots of information that will be helpful. I would also recommend the book: Help for Extreme Picky Eaters (You can find that by clicking on the article index in the menu bar). Generally, I can tell you to just take the pressure off him, just let it go. But, require that he take some of what you are eating at the meal, have him serve himself and allow him to take as little as he wants. Try to keep non-preferred foods small, thin, and crunchy, obviously you can’t do this with everything. Allow him to eat what he wants, but keep a tight schedule and don’t allow snacking at any time. Space meals 2.5-3 hours apart, with nothing in between but water. I have written about all the tips, a lot, and you can find in various articles. Wishing you the best, let me know how it goes.
Hoping you got notified of the above comment, April. There was a little glitch with my response system.
Yes I did, thank you! And thank you again for all your help!
oops you weren’t talking to me, ha ha 😉
I can’t tell you how excited I am that I have found your website! I have scoured the internet looking for a good resource to help me with my full-blown problem feeder but nothing I found really applied to our struggle (until now!) I worry so much about my little guy who won’t eat one single vegetable or ever eat what we are having for dinner. The only meat he likes is breakfast meat (bacon and sausage) but he loves anything snacky (crackers, pretzels, etc) as well as bread (plain) and some fruits. He goes to OT but and will occasionally try something new there but then I can’t get him to eat it at home. He has also regressed and will no longer eat rice or peanut butter. I am going to start going through your website but if you have any tips you can give me or links that you think would help me I’d appreciate it so much. Thank you!
It can be hard sometimes to bridge that gap between therapy and home. I would recommend reading “exploring new foods” and “picky eater tip: expand on what your child is eating”. They can both be found in the article index in the menu bar under picky eating category. Also, see eating basics in the menu bar as a good starting point. Let me know if you have any questions after looking around!
I will read those, thanks so much 🙂 !
My child is no doubt a problem feeder. I said yes to all of the bullet points. We have had this problem since she started eating table food and she is now 3. I called her pediatrician last week to get a referral to see a feeding therapist and he denied the request. He says she is a healthy weight and has a healthy BMI. I agree she does not look unhealthy. However, she only eats 5 things and I supplement her diet with an organic drink like pedisure. We have a well baby appointment at the end of the month and I plan on talking to him face to face about this. I would like to be as prepared as possible. Do you think healthy weight is a reason not to be concerned about this? Any advice you can give would be great. Thank you!
Oh Lindsay, I am sooo glad that you reached out to me. I am so disappointed to hear a doc say this, but I’m not totally surprised! I strongly disagree with this opinion, and would really push for it when you see him in person. If he still won’t budge, I would consider finding a new doctor. I know that may seem harsh, but her getting treatment is that important. I would also recommend pulling my website up on your phone or printing out the page you read. Let him know I’m a licensed, practicing OT, and this isn’t some random opinion you found. She may be a good weight, but her eating is in a bad way that could get worse. Doctors, aren’t trained in feeding, and often don’t know how to respond otherwise. Let me know if I can be more help!
For 6 and 1/2 years I’ve been told my child is a just fussy eater and we need to either not worry about it or try harder to get him to eat. Reading this makes me want to weep with relief. I knew it was more than that. Even as a baby he wasn’t interested in food and often gagged. His whole life he’ s gone through stages of eating only about 10-15 foods and then one day suddenly refuses a food and it’s banished forever. At almost 7 he eats toast (one type only), eggs (scrambled only), one type of chocolate muffins, banana bread, most meats (thank goodness!) but they have to be cut up, banana milkshake with almond milk and pizza. I cook almost everything from scratch and we’re always offering new feeds trying to add nutrition to the foods he’ll eat, I always feel a bit slack that we do let him fall back on his safe foods. On advice from others we’ve tried cold turkey, but after two days I was the one to call it quits, not him. Thus was he’ll fir our entire family and we’ll never consider it again, I am still furious with the ‘expert’ who (mis)guided us through that process. He’ll often go to bed without tea if he doesn’t like it. He’s at full time school now but refuses to tea at school (doesn’t like cold foods and won’t eat eat foods when I took time off work to deliver then). Gluten gives him terrible leg cramps at night so he’s been off that for 3 years which has helped a lot with his mood. While he refuses must foods he spends most of his day telling me he’s hungry. Any ideas would be so gratefully appreciated! I wish you lived closer!
Sorry off all the typos should read ‘he refuses to eat at school’, ‘the cold turkey was hell for the entire family’ ‘won’t eat hot foods delivered’ and ‘refuses most food’. Oops!
No worries on the typos! I’m glad that the article gave you some comfort, because I can assure you that you are certainly NOT alone. If you haven’t had a chance yet I would start looking at the article index in the menu bar under picky eaters. You will find a lot of help there. Also, I’m available for consults world wide via skype, phone or facetime- find more on that in the menu bar, too!
I wish I had a simple answer of everything that will help your son, but it is usually more complicated. The basics are making sure he has one safe food at every meal, but having him serve himself some of the other foods (any amount and he doesn’t have to eat). Try to make meals positive and as no pressure as possible. Let me know if you have questions after looking at everything!
Sorry off all the typos should read ‘he refuses to eat at school’, ‘the cold turkey was hell for the entire family’ ‘won’t eat hot foods delivered’ and ‘refuses most food’. Oops!
I’m having so much trouble posting comments – it keeps telling me I’ve ‘already said that!’
I appreciate your insights. I don’t have problem eaters, but my 3 year old (who has always been a good eater) will do just about anything to skip real meals and get by on his favorite treats right now. It’s frustrating.
I wonder if you have any answers to this question–there are many children in the world who don’t have access to the vast variety of food American children do. (Even some American children don’t get enough to eat.) Do these children starve themselves because their parents can’t always provide their “preferred foods?” Is picky/problem eating a cause of sickness and death among less privileged populations? I’m not asking this to demean the difficulties of feeding children. It is a question I have pondered many times–is picky eating a first-world problem, or does it have just as much presence among children whose diets are very limited? My own food budget is very tight and I’m just grateful my kids don’t have preferences that I can’t afford!
Hi Carolyn, you know you are bringing up something I have thought about many times. I will tell you that I have received questions and scheduled consultations quite often in Europe, Australia, and Asia. I think that the picky eating nation does seem to have some cultural tie-ins. This is just my opinion, but I think as Americans we have a lot of issues around food. I doubt that in third world countries this is as much as a problem because those cultural issues would be non existent. For those kids with real underlying issues, maybe some do die or their families overcome it in some way. Unfortunately, I don’t have any data on this!
I have to agree that we have issues with food in America! There is such a barrage of advice on what not to eat and what to eat, lest you die, that it seems the only “safe” route is not eating anything. Thank you for your response. I have had friends and family who really struggle with their kids eating, and allergies too, and I am glad there are people like you who give their time to help.
my son is 3. He has never been adventures when it comes to food. Everybody tells me he’ll grow out of it, but I’m not so sure. He’ll eat red rice, cereal, yogurt, breads. The only meat he eats is mcdonalds chicken nuggets. I can’t put anything on his plate but what he likes, it grosses him out. He’ll just sit there and cry. I’ve tried the “you can’t have anything else till you eat this”. He’ll just not eat at all. His ped said he just needed some tough love, but that’s not working. Should I see an OT or just hope he outgrows it?
I’m glad I came across your website. I have a 3 year old that we have been struggling with since around 15 months when it comes to eating. It seems like out of nowhere he suddenly became extremely picky about eating and then it has just worsened as time goes on and according to your list I think he may be a ‘problem eater’. He refuses all meats, baby carrots and broccoli are the only veggies he will eat, he does pretty good with a variety of fruits, will drink milk and eat yogurt but refuses cheese, will eat bread or toast with PB or cream cheese and likes cereal but won’t eat other carbs like tortillas or any kind of noodles and he has very strong reactions if he does actually taste something new (he will gag and become very upset once it’s in his mouth). He also will only eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. He does the best with breakfast in terms of variety. Dinner is usually a complete loss and he’ll refuse it altogether most nights. I feel bad because I have definitely let my stress and frustration about his eating show which I know doesn’t help anything and I’m beating myself up that my battles over food with him have made him worse. I always end up just giving him some healthy snacks before bed (like apple slices or banana with peanut butter or some whole wheat crackers) but I don’t know if that reinforces him not eating dinner. I just feel so terrible putting him to bed without something in his stomach. Sorry about all my rambling, I am at a loss about what to do at this point. Any suggestions??
I totally understand your frustration, it is so hard!!! I would look at my eating basics in the menu bar and see the posts I suggested at the end as a starting point to start implementing some specific strategies. Also, if you have insurance he would be able to receive some feeding therapy. There is no pressure but I’m also available for consults- see the menu bar. As for the snacking before bed it is okay if it has been at least 2 hours since dinner, also make sure there is always something at dinner that you know he likes- it can be just one thing. If he doesn’t eat it, that is one him. It is true that he will learn he doesn’t have to eat dinner if he knows a snack is coming soon!
Alisha, my 7 1/2 year old ate evrything I put in front of him as a baby and toddler. Fruits, vegetables, small amounts of meat, fresh baked bread, gluten free items, nuts seeds, if it was healthy he was shocing itbin his face. Then around three, I began letting him stay at his grandmas house. She fed him chocolate milk, freezer pancakes, buckets of ice cream, donuts (she evn called ahead to the bakery so that his favorites would not be sold out) spaghettios, well you get the picture. Also, my older son who was about 7 at the time began gaining weight like crazy. The younger all but stopped eating at ALL. I could not figure out what was happening! My MIL made the boys swear not to tell me about the “fun goodies” or they wouldnt get them anymore. It would be two years of diarrhea, weight loss for one son and weight gain for the other before I figured it out. Grandma was junk fooding my kids to death. We are still working hard to recover. Both boys were diagnosed with a milk allergy so theres where the diarrhea came from. The youngest refused to eat at home and passed out in the bathroom. He then realized he had to eat something and it was chicken nuggets. He still refuses fruits and veggies except apples without skin and baby carrots. He was eating watermelon and now says no thanks. Every day is a struggle thanks to the selfishness of one person. If there is anyonebout there who child is struggling and you cant figure out why, start investigating their diets when away from home. It might just save your childs life.
Oh my goodness, what a terrible situation. I hope you can find some helpful tools here. Thanks for sharing your story.
My mother does something similar and I cant get her to stop. My almost 5year old son weighs only 36lbs and i feel that anything that we can get him to eat should be highly nutritious. She thinks calories are calories and doesn’t pay any attention to the nutritional value of the food. My younger son just turned two last week and is 30lbs. I am trying to keep him from turning “picky” too.
Hello, my son is borderline picky eater/problem feeder. He will eat any type of bread, noodle, carb. He is a carb a holic. I can’t complain too much though because he still eats black olives, applesauce, yogurt, raw carrots-not cooked, corn, grean beans, peas, and pretty much any kind of bean minus refried. He will not touch meat, chicken, sausage, brisket whatever kinda meat you can imagine. He will eat chicken nuggets, but not chicken strips-because when he bites into it, the white strings as he calls it are all stringy and he thinks its gross. So, do you think I’m alright with what he does eat? Should I be thankful he even eats that? I myself have texture issues, so I get it…But. I also feel like his food is the only thing he can really control in his life, so he pushes it to the extreme. Usually every single meal I have to make him something different. Its a pain! Help!
He does have a decent variety of food and meat is notoriously difficult for a lot of kids. I actually have a post devoted completely to that, which you can find in the article index in the menu bar at the top under Picky Eaters. I think you’ll find a lot of helpful tips there. I would strongly recommend setting up a meal and not catering to him. Try to eat together and have one food you know he will eat at each meal. Let him know that if he doesn’t eat that is fine, but he won’t be having anything until the next meal. I cover a lot of this in Eating Basics in the menu bar. If you can make the changes I talk about there it is very likely you will see some nice progress. I do totally agree with you about the control, which is why it is important to not let meals turn into a power struggle. Let me know if I can be of more help!
Thanks Alisha. The list of foods my son will eat just grew now that I know each type of deli meat, or yogurt flavor he eats counts individually. Unfortunately I cannot bake the peanut butter into anything. When they do testing he has to consume 1/4 tspn of pure peanut butter 4 times througout a 1/2 day testing. I am currently trying soy butter and sunflower butter on diff types of crackers/breads, but with no luck.
Right, I know they want you to get that amount in, but with a picky eater that can take time. I know it won’t help for their specific test, but it would still give you good information if he eats pb in any form. Using it in cookies and breads will help him get used to the flavor. Also, have him help you cook with it- a severe reaction would show up if even touched it. This will also help him get used to the smell and texture and closer to eating it. Keep trying consistency is the key.
I have a two year old son who most classify as a picky eater including his pediatrician. However, I am not so sure. When your describe of 20 vs 30 foods (problem vs.picky), does deli meat count as one type or would diff types of deli meat classify individually? He was diagnosed at 1 to be severely allergic to eggs and tested positive for a nut allergy (both a RAST and Blood test). This Jan he took the peanut component panel allgery test and the results came back negative. Our allegergist wants him to do a food challenge, but I know he won’t eat peanut butter and am trying to get him to broaden his pallet so we can get real answers to his allergy. Any suggestions? The Allergist is afraid the longer I wait the more harm I am doing to his possibility of outgrowing his peanut allergy.
Every individual food is counted as a specific type and goes towards the total, BUT if you have more concerns I wouldn’t hesitate to get a feeding evaluation and get another opinion. Pediatricians are in a tricky position with picky eaters- they don’t have a lot of training in this area and see kids all day long that aren’t eating well but seem to be growing. I have seen so many kids that desperately needed help and it was delayed because a doctor said they would grow out of it. As for the peanuts- will eat a peanut butter cookie, cupcake, or the sandwich cracker? Some trace of pb just needs to be in the product as a first step.
I loved reading your articles. It an certain I have a problem eater ohand. He wasn’t always like this though, as a baby he had a huge appetite and loved eating off my plate. At 6 month, he got dysentery resulting in food aversion. I still managed to purée foods and feed it to him while playing and singing. Again at 13 month he got the stomach flu, where he was hospitalized with severe vomiting and dirreoah. There was blood in his stool and the blood test revealed he was anaemic with below normal levels for iron and vitamin D. The doctor put him on multivitamins. However, feeding from that point on has been a nightmare. As a mother, I panicked. Against my better judgement, I started force feeding, using the TV and only giving him puréed food till he was two. Slowly,I started sneaking chicken and veggies in his food while I distracted him with puzzles and crayons. The birth of my second child aggravated his disorder. Now at four, he only eats buttered rice, Nutella with bread and some fruits. He is averse to textures and sauces, even ketchup. The hardest thing on my plate is to feed him chicken and eggs. The food therapist suggested the cold turkey method, but he has gone days without eating. Please help.
Oh boy, well, I wouldn’t want to go against something a feeding therapist said, especially since I am not working him directly. However, I can’t think of an instance that I would recommend going cold turkey. I am going to be honest, when you have a problem feeder it takes a lot of time to make real changes. Start slow, with my Basics to Eating Tab at the top of the page. Then go to my article index, see the posts on Picky Eating: Expand What Your Kid is Already Eating and Exploring new foods. I’m not sure of where you are located or if it is possible, but if so I would consider getting a second opinion. There is no pressure at all, but I’m also available for consults, which would allow me to get a complete history and give more specific strategies. Let me know how it goes!
I recommend you look into A/RFID. Sounds exactly like it.
Oh momma I can relate!!
Peanut Butter and jam, some bland pasta and occasionally strawberries…that is all….No meat, Vegetables, sauces of ANY kind…he is 4 and a half. I get so much negative feedback from people who know nothing and need to worry about their own life, not ours.
As you can see, I still get all fired up about this!!
Touchy topic.
My 7-year old is on the threshold between picky and problem. I suspect sensory issues play a part. And she will go hungry if we don’t provide the foods she will eat. Thankfully, over time, she gets a somewhat balanced diet over time with fruits, rice and quinoa and dairy. A huge blessing occurred this fall with her acceptance of peanut butter- another healthy fat and protein! I took her to an OT who supposedly specialized in children with eating issues. It was disastrous. My daughter and I both left crying, and I got the unhelpful advice to offer her more of what the family eats. Thank you for delineating the difference, and confirming that the methods to manage their diets are different as well. Blessings
I’m so sorry that your experience wasn’t helpful either. It sounds like you guys are making good progress, but keep in mind there are good therapists out there that might be a better fit for you and your family. They would hopefully be able to resolve some of those underlying sensory issues. Make sure you check out my Basic Strategies to Improve Eating and the article index, where there are a lot of strategies to improve variety. Thank you for your comment!
Thank you so much for finally saying what I already knew about my 5 year old son. So many people tell me to be strict, don’t allow him to get up from the table, give him what is for dinner and nothing else. My poor son would starve if I did this and I try to tell them and they do not seem to understand. People look at me like I’m crazy when I would let him eat oatmeal cookies for breakfast just so his tummy would be full. As he gets older he is more accepting towards foods and he is growing into a picky eater but there was a time around age 3 when popcorn and apples and dry cereal was the menu for the day! The children’s hospital feeding team was no help either he just basically had to grow out of it! Thank you for this article though it was really helpful.
Thank you for your comment- so many people share with me a similar story! I’m glad it is getting better and so sorry that the feeding team wasn’t any help. There are a lot of good feeding teams and therapists out there though, if you ever want to get a second opinion.