Have a toddler who cries all the time, or an older child who is always crying? Learn hidden reasons why your 1, 2, 3, or 4 year old constantly cries and how to help sensitive kids.
He was probably about 4 years old, and since he was my oldest child, he seemed so much older than my other kids. Being the oldest has some down sides, I speak from experience.
Sam was standing in the middle of the living room crying. Again. I can’t remember what he was crying over, but it’s no wonder that I don’t because he was often crying. I remember thinking that he was getting older and should be growing out of crying over “every little thing.” I’d like to think that I wasn’t mean, but I was being stern with him as he stood there crying.
I was tired and just wanted him to stop.
My mom was visiting at the time and was knitting away on the couch seemingly not paying attention. But, what she said next changed how I parented Sam forever. My mother, observing the familiar scene unfolding yet again, said, “I think he’s really having a hard time, he feels a lot. I felt like that as a child and I was always labeled as a cry baby. It made me feel terrible. I don’t think this is a phase, it’s part of who he is.”
It was a jarring moment that stung a little, but more than anything, I was grateful.
That was a turning point when I began to be on Sam’s team, to try and see what he was struggling with and why.
Why Does Your Child Cry All the time?
What really made the difference in my mom’s words is that I now had an understanding as to why Sam was crying so much, it immediately resonated with me. I knew it was true.
It’s not always this easy getting to the bottom of our kid’s challenges, but we often do have some intuition about it. Beyond being able to understand the crying though is knowing how to help them.
As an occupational therapist, I’ve worked with a lot of crying kids, but constant crying can have a lot of different reasons behind it. The list below is not comprehensive, but does include some little-known causes for a child that cries all the time.
Two factors that can really muddy the waters are when a child has experienced trauma/attachment issues, as well as bigger behavioral issues.
In my experience, these are far more rare, but if you have concerns, discuss them with your doctor or seek the help of a child therapist.
1. Sensory Processing
Sensory issues can affect so many aspects of our kid’s lives, and when children tend to avoid or are sensitive to certain sensations, it can leave them on edge, even physically uncomfortable!
We all have sensory needs and preferences that we are born with, so sensory processing can be a big factor for why your child constantly cries, whether they are 1, 2, 3, 4 or beyond.
It can be easier to dismiss constant crying in younger babies and toddlers, but as I mentioned before, for many kids, crying like this is not a phase and more so a marker for their temperament and personality.
But, having sensory “issues” or needs doesn’t necessarily mean your child has or needs a diagnosis, which is why this can be hard to miss. Some kids can’t stand getting messy, hearing loud noises, or wearing certain textures of clothes.
Lights or smells could be bothersome, and the worst part is they may not know how to tell you, especially young children and toddlers.
That means, if they’re smelling something that they think is awful or lights are buzzing and annoying them, they may cry.
Read more about visual sensitivities and smell sensory sensitivities and how they impact kids.
But, all we see is a 2 year old crying in the middle of Target or an 8 year old that cries at the smallest occurrence after a long day of sensations he can’t control at school. When your toddler or child cries all the time, it’s easy to overlook underlying reasons for why.
To understand more about sensory processing and your child’s unique needs I highly recommend taking our free sensory workshop. You can grab a spot here!
2. Sensitive Personality
While crying all the darn time is annoying, some kids are experiencing emotions and don’t know how to handle them. The outlet is to cry. A child sees the world quite differently than we do and what seems like a small inconsequential thing to us could be very difficult for them.
In recent years, the term “highly sensitive child” has been used more and more to describe this type of kid.
If nothing else, it may be helpful to consider that your crying child needs some extra time and space to deal with everything they’re feeling.
Of course, kids do, at times, use crying to get what they want, and I think as parents, it’s often one of the the first things we jump to, but for our kid’s well being, it’s important to step back and see the bigger picture of what’s going on.
3. Anxiety
In my son’s case, I know that he feels a lot, and as he’s getting older, he probably cries more than his peers. He’s at an age where he’s becoming self aware, and in some situations, he is curbing the instant crying.
I can see that his personality is part of why he tends to cry, but two years ago, we also had to work through our first episode of anxiety.
I didn’t realize that’s what it was at first, and on top of the constant crying, there was now a fear too. For Sam, this showed up as separation anxiety, even though I had never seen that in him before.
That fact made it even harder because I thought he needed to snap out of it.
But, anxiety is tricky and younger kids may not be able to express how they’re feeling and why. The result we see is a lot of crying or “being sensitive”. If you suspect that your child is struggling with anxiety check out this incredible resource from my good friend and child therapist Natasha Daniels.
4. Lack of sleep
Be careful not to skim past this one, because many kids aren’t getting the recommended amount of sleep daily. Some kids will only sleep for a certain amount of time despite their parents best efforts and that becomes the norm for them.
But, over time, that constant sleep deprivation can have a big effect on their behavior.
Again, this can show up as frequent crying. Check out this recommended sleep guide for kids and also check out How to Help Your Child Sleep.
5. Poor eating
Similar to sleep, poor eating can also have a big effect on behavior and mood. When kids aren’t getting the calories, fat, and nutrients they need, they may feel irritable, but again, don’t have the skills to tell us that.
This is easy to miss with extreme picky eaters who struggle to ever eat well. Get more help for picky eating!
6. Communication skills
Children and toddlers that cry all the time and don’t have a lot of words or communication may be crying out of frustration. They can’t express themselves!
As an occupational therapist, I’ve said countless times to kids, including my own, “Use your words,” when I see frustration building. Sometimes this is a helpful cue, even if they’re using a bit of sign language.
Other times, it can make matters worse if they’re too upset to focus on speaking, or your child has a speech delay. Visuals can be a big help in these instances, or moving straight into some grounding activities to help them calm down.
What if Your Toddler Cries All the Time?
It’s quite common for toddlers to cry all the time, especially when there’s a speech delay. But, even if there’s not, toddlers are learning to manage their emotions. They’re also testing reactions and figuring out how to navigate their environment.
As difficult as it can be to listen to, the frequent crying is something well within normal toddler behavior.
However, there are ways you can help them learn to regulate their emotions, often this starts with helping them communicate better. Try teaching your toddler some basic sign language for common phrases like “All done” and “more.”
Lastly, follow the steps listed below, they work perfectly for toddlers too!
Are they really crying all the time?
For me, the constant crying that I also later experienced with my third child as a toddler, grates badly on my sensory system. If I’m tired or trying to focus on something, it’s even worse.
Can you relate?
Kids are incredibly perceptive and sometimes our own impatience, emotion, and arousal state can leak into our kids’ behavior. If your 3 year old cries all the time, it can feel exhausting and put us on edge.
When kids cry frequently, our patience level is depleted and all we focus on is the crying. And, in truth, some kids do cry a lot, but it may be helpful to think about the times your child isn’t crying, as well as look for patterns when they are.
What feels like excessive crying could be either developmentally normal, or just be what you see because you’re focused on it. Trying to identify when it’s happening can help.
For instance, you may notice that it’s at certain times of day and can connect that to an overwhelming daycare environment, being hungry, or tired.
How to Help Crying Kids
So how do you help your child and maintain your sanity when you have a child that cries all the time? Let’s talk about some basic strategies you can start using today:
1.Have a Mindset Shift – We’ve already talked a lot about this, but think about seeing your child as needing your help instead of the crying being a problem. Crying is a form of communication, whether we like it or not, and once we start to see it that way, it gives us reserves of patience to rely on.
2.Comfort Your Child – For generations, kids have been raised to “shake it off”. While I think there’s some wisdom in that, we have to be careful we’re acknowledging our child’s feelings and letting them feel heard.
However, it’s just as important to teach them how to manage their feelings as well.
3. Teach Them Coping Strategies – Depending on your child’s age, the coping strategies could vary widely from teaching deep breaths, to modeling a calm down song. Older kids may benefit from journaling, while younger kids may need some snuggles.
No matter what age, kids can be taught to retreat to a private safe place and then talk it out when they’re calm. You can even consider providing them a sensory room or space to calm down. It doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive!
4. Take Care of Yourself – Even with a mindset shift, the crying can get to be A LOT, and making sure you’re taking care of yourself may be the best thing you can do for yourself.
That might mean hiding in the bathroom for a minute to catch your breath or having a cry yourself. It’s always a good idea to pay attention to your own levels of regulation to both model it for your kids, but to also “fill your own cup” first if needed.
21 Sensory Red Flags that are Easy to Miss
If you’re suspecting that sensory processing difficulties or sensory processing disorder could be at least one of the reasons your child cries frequently, grab our free printable 21 Sensory Red Flags. You’ll find some of the most common sensory “issues” that kids display and go unnoticed.
More for Sensitive Kids
Create a Sensory Diet with this Template: Free PDF
8 Secret Strategies for Sensory Issues with Food
5 Ways to Stop Mealtime Tantrums for Toddlers and Kids
11 Fun Weighted Lap Pads to Help Kids Sit Still
Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 20 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
Please help as well! My 20 month old non stop cries. He cries sometimes upward to 75% of the day when I’m around. When I’m not around, people say he’s an absolute joy! Plays with toys, laughs, the whole 9! But when I’m around he wants me not only to hold him but if I’m not standing up, he screams and throws his head back and just will over all not calm down. I love him so much and spend as much time as I can playing with him but I have another child who feels left out. On top of that I have a house to clean, dishes to do, laundry to fold and make meals. I have a job from M-Th 7:30-330. I took this position to spend more time with my kids. So it’s not like I’m an absent parent that he doesn’t get to spend a lot of time with. My first child wasn’t like this so I just need help! Please send advice!
Hi Britt,
Does your kiddo have any other behaviors that may be indicative of the reason for crying? Like sensory sensitivities, allergies, etc.? 75% of the day is a lot, I’m wondering if something else is going on. I would definitely check out some calming proprioceptive activities, which almost all kids find regulating. Start there and see if it helps give him some sensory input that he’s craving.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
You’re not alone! Mine is the exact same way. Im at a loss for what to do. Has anything helped you with your son?
It is so hard… my 20 month old son has recently start nursery and he is so miserable since then. He is now always crying and unsettled. Since he wakes up in the morning he cries and gets upset with every little thing, he ask for milk and then he doesn’t want it he starting eating cookies but he wants cookies (completely nonsense…) I am so frustrated, exhausted, depressed… my husband is so temperamental so I tried to be around all the time as I think he gets fed up quickly with our son and let him cry (he thinks he is crying to get things and if we “give it” to him we are not doing him any favor…)
How can we help my son? How long this process will take?
Hugs, Maria. This can be so hard. Especially at this age, it can be very common for more sensitive kids. Have you looked into calming sensory activities that may help him? It may be the transition that he will slowly adjust to, but I would start with sensory activities and go from there.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
What activities can I give my 1 year old please? I’m at my wits, she does not sleep very well aswell. No doctor or pediatrician can give me the right advice or tell me what is wrong.
I’m so sorry this has been tough, Lindi,
I would definitely start with calming proprioceptive and gentle vestibular input, though it will be a bit of trial and error to see what helps calm her and what she responds to. Things like deep pressure to her joints (you can Google joint compressions or search on our page) and gentle linear rocking, we have a whole post on vestibular input). Have you read this article on sleep? They have to be adjusted a bit for younger kids but the concepts are very similar. If you haven’t taken our sensory workshop, I would also make sure you do that to help start understanding the types of input and how.
Please let me know how it goes!
Laura
Very useful. I was a crybaby myself. Now I understand better why. I have a teenage son who also cries, but we have identified his sensory needs and are looking for balance. Thank you so much!
I don’t feel like this helped at all. Because it’s not just one thing with my grandbaby and I’m the one practically raising him because his parents work all the time I’m exhausted, overwhelmed ice cream myself most the time because I cannot handle it he this has been from the beginning he screams and cries from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed, he does not gesture he does not speak. He does not communicate except to babble he destroys everything. He throws all of his. I can’t get anything done. It is all focused on him. I cannot feed myself. He’s screaming right now and has been since 8 o’clock this morning, put him on the floor he screams give him his toys to play with. He screams Take him outside he screams take him to the zoo. He screams and cries. That’s all he does. You can’t take him anywhere you can’t get on the phone. If you take him into a restaurant they ask you to leave if you go into a store, they ask you to leave taking him to the zoo. They asked us to leave because he won’t stop screaming And crying and screaming and crying trying to let him play by himself because I have other things to do like I’m diabetic I have to eat. It is now 4 o’clock in the afternoon and I just ate while he screamed and cried. I can’t feed my animals because he screams and cries so no nothing in your thing help because it gives specifics to oh well if he does this or if he does this no my grandson does it all it’s all insanity. I have never in my life seen a cry child scream and cry like this you give him a bath. He screams and cries, and he enjoys his bath. It doesn’t matter what you do. He screams and cries the entirety of it I don’t wanna play with him. I don’t wanna do anything with him at all because I don’t want to listen to somebody I have sensory issues I can’t stand certain noises I can’t take this like I’m getting ready to just be homeless and go F and live homeless because I’d rather have peace then I have to listen to a screaming, crying baby 24 hours a day seven days a week since he was born and there’s no one that will help. We tell the doctors we tell the therapist we try to get help and they just say it’s normal. No this is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal.
Karen,
No, what you describe sounds well beyond what we would consider “normal” crying. I can tell how exhausted you must feel. If your doctors, therapists, etc are brushing off your concerns to get to the bottom of this, I would highly recommend seeking a new pediatrician who can assist you in determining a cause. Without knowing age, things like food intolerances, medical concerns, or others are first on my mind.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
It is so helpful to see traits in our kids and give them support that we wish we had. You’re doing an incredible job!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
My daughter is about to be 4 in September. Since she was about 2 or 3 I noticed that she’d cry so easily. I put her in her swingswing her and go to step away (to keep an eye on her brothers 1&5) she gets so upset and cries and the cry turns into a SCREAM! Other moms who play with us outside have asked me and my daughter “why are you /is she crying like that?” I respond every time with “She’s highly sensitive”. I have wondered if she has autism because it takes me a hot minute to get her to stop and calm down, and after something upsets her ANYTHING will set her off to cry again, so I eventually have to bring her in from play time and try her on something else.
Hi Shelby! Thanks for reaching out! To determine if she has autism, we recommend consulting with your pediatrician! It could also be that she has sensory sensitivities. We have a post that talks more about what that means and how that looks. Check it out here, and let us know if you have any questions!
Best,
Kalyn
My daughter is 2 yrs old. I’ve been noticing constant crying over anything and everything. If she wants something and I don’t give it to her at the time. Or if I try to persuade her instead of saying NO all the time. I don’t know if the tantrums are behavioral issues or simply being naughty. I’ve come to the point of feeling helpless or feeling like I don’t know how to handle my own child.
Hi Mila! Thanks for reaching out to us. We know it can be so challenging to have a toddler that cries a lot. It can really feel impossible to handle sometimes. It’s helpful to think of your toddler trying to tell you something about their needs, often sensory needs, rather than just trying to push your buttons. Even though it can feel like that. If you think your little one might be having some sensory challenges, THIS ARTICLE can be helpful in helping you figure out what else might be going on. Let us know if you have any questions.
Best,
Kalyn
Hi
My 2 year old son cries alot for me every time I leave. For no reason he cries after me which is very frustrating at times when I am tired. I am trying to figure out the cause of his constant cries and through my search online I came across your article. Is this normal or something is wrong with him?
Thank you
Hi Elizabeth, at 2 this is very very normal for many kids, depending on their temperament. He will likely grow out of it, but working on secure attachment throughout the day can help. So giving him small little “breaks” where you leave to go do something and quickly come back (a minute or 2 at first) can help solidify his understanding that you will come back and he doesn’t need to be scared. But at this age it is quite developmentally normal.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
My girlfriends 3 year old is constantly crying. In my case, I believe I know why. It’s because she’s not getting her way but it doesn’t change the fact that she cry’s non-stop.. she’ll point and basically tells us what she wants but even after getting what she wants she go to another room and want whatever she wants from someone else.. what I wanna know is there anything we can do to try and help her without giving her her way?
Hi Javier! Thanks for reaching out to us. We know it can be so challenging to have a child that cries a lot. It can really feel impossible to handle sometimes. It’s helpful to think of your child trying to tell you something about their needs, often sensory needs, rather than just trying to push your buttons. Even though it can feel like that. If you think your little one might be having some sensory challenges, THIS ARTICLE can be helpful in helping you figure out what else might be going on. Let us know if you have any questions.
Best,
Kalyn
Nurse told me that hers cry a lot and she took baby to pediatrician and he order a neurologist. They discover small tumor. He was on treatment and now baby is good.
We have to tell pediatric about crying. And insist on see an specialist
I am on the same boat as you. I also think sometimes that is Autism.
Question my granddaughter is 5 almost 6. She cries over frustration and anxiety and we are not sure how to handle. For example we are in the car and her siblings are buckled but she is having issues and starts crying without asking for help. Another example is having a meltdown because she cannot open a water bottle. He step father yells to stop crying. Her mother tells her to calm down and use words but then she just loses it until her step father gives her the count of three which works. She doesn’t eat much and isn’t growing. Doctors tells my daughter she is a girl and will just be on the small side but I am worried this all has a connection somehow.
Hi Korey, this could be a few things, but since you mentioned anxiety, I wanted to pass on information about our favorite anxiety resource Anxious Toddlers. It is not just for toddlers, but kids of all ages. There is a sale going on right now for their anxiety and OCD courses, but her website also has a ton of free information on working through childhood anxiety.
I hope this helps!
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
I have a child that I have 50/50 custody and I’m to the breaking point. He is 4 year’s old and cries for hours when he’s with me, cries so much that his cheeks puff up and eyes get irritated from rubbing them. I can’t even have a relationship with him because all he does when he isn’t crying is ask 4 or 5 different questions about his mother and won’t do or talk about anything else without crying.
Hey Jake,
So sorry you are dealing with this, it can be hard on children to understand what is happening. I would try to remain calm with him and answer questions that he is asking. I’d also try to ask him about something that he would like to do (possibly providing 2 choices for him to choose from), so that he can feel in some control.
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
I clicked on the sensory red flags link and it said it will be sent to my email. It never came. Can I get that link please
Hey Amrita,
We’re so sorry you’re having trouble with the Sensory Red Flags Printable. Have you checked your spam or junk folder? Sometimes our pintables like to hide out there. If you still can’t find it, let us know and we can send it to you!
Best,
Andrea
I’m guessing its to do with mobile fones there not getting enough attention back when I grew up it was always getting involved to do things together but kids now a days are given a few toys to play with and no interaction with parents
Hey Tina,
Thanks for reaching out. Cell phones certainly do create some distraction on the parents part. It is a constant balance for almost all parents. Typically the kiddos we’re referring to have some additional challenges going on. One of the most common is sensory challenges or sensitivities. Here are some great activities to use when kiddos are feeling overwhelmed.
Best,
Andrea
I’m at my wits end my two year old cries constantly I can’t take it anymore. My pregnancy wasn’t planed and I wanted an abortion (I was talked out of one twice) now I’m stuck alone with a Whitney two and a half year old who just cries from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to sleep (and sometimes in his sleep) sigh what do I do
Hi Crystal,
Thanks for reaching out to us. We know it can be so challenging to have a toddler that cries a lot. It can really feel impossible to handle sometimes. It’s helpful to think of your toddler trying to tell you something about their needs, often sensory needs, rather than just trying to push your buttons. Even though it can feel like that. If you think your little one might be having some sensory challenges, THIS ARTICLE can be helpful in helping you figure out what else might be going on. Let us know if you have any questions.
Best,
Andrea
We are running into a situation where our 5 year old cries about EVERYTHING!!! Especially when she can’t get or do whatever she wants. We don’t want to baby those type behavior because we don’t want her thinking if she cries she can get whatever she wants, but when she goes to her grandma house and pulls the same thing she gets EVERYTHING she wants. So we get frustrated a lot. Don’t know what to do in this situation.
Hey! It can be frustrating when other caregivers don’t always respond the same way we would. It might be encouraging to know that most kids will start to realize on their own that rules can vary slightly depending on where they are (school, home, grandparents, etc). Keep staying consistent at your house. It’s also possible that she may be crying when she is becoming overwhelmed rather than a behavioral reason. Our free sensory workshop might be good to see if any of the ideas might be helpful for your daughter. You can save your seat HERE.
Best,
Andrea
Have a 3 yr old constantly crying
I’m beginning to think of all this has to be with something in the food or water. Kids didn’t use to be like this. I am a Grandmother and I remember going up and when I had kids it was like this either. Now all of a sudden there are a lot of issues with the children which saddens me.
*****Corrected********
Sorry I guess next time I need to proofread.
I’m beginning to think of all this has to be with something in the food or water. Kids didn’t use to be like this. I am a Grandmother and I remember *GROWING up and when I had kids it * WAS NOT like this either. Now all of a sudden there are a lot of issues with the children which saddens me
Hi Mimi,
Thanks for reaching out. There actually has been an increase in sensory challenges and related diagnoses more recently. At this time, no one has quite pinpointed the reason yet. One good thing is that we also know so much more about how to help kiddos with these challenges now. So that makes such a difference!
Best,
Andrea
I know this is old but anyone come up with strategies? My 2.5 year old is killing us, he wails from the moment he gets up and doesn’t let off until he finally falls asleep in the evenings 😩😩
Oh goodness! We know this can be such a challenge to have day in and day out for everyone! Sometimes it can be sensory related. Our article about tantrums vs meltdowns can be really helpful in distinguishing the difference! Please reach out to us if you have any questions!
Best,
Andrea
From my personal experience I came to know that when ever the kid s crying out cranky or adamant and even violent., The best strategy to deal with them will be patience and calmness . Unending warmth that we show in any situation to them will really shape their character and will show them the path of behavioral change that they should follow the entire life. With or without reason they cry. But for anything ur only response should be silence , a smile, patience , cool mind too think of deviating their mind. Follow this consistently for a month. U can see visible change in them and also in you. All the best. This phase to will pass.
Hey Ramya,
Thanks for sharing! You’re right, it’s so important that we stay calm and keep our kiddos feeling safe.
Best,
Andrea
welcome to my world
Nice ideas but I think hiding in the bathroom to cry is hypocritical. Kids aren’t oblivious, what message does that send your child if you feel shameful to express your own emotions? Are we going to go to great extents to validate our child’s feelings but express our adult needs as an embarassment or worse like they don’t matter as well. Part of family living is understanding everyone has feelings and role modeling healthy management of them.
Hey Melissa,
Thanks for your thoughts on this! We do understand your point of view. We were just trying to get across that if we do need a minute to ourselves that we can take it, and that’s okay. But it is great and important to talk about our emotions and let our children see our emotions as well!
Best,
Desiree
This was such a big help! My 6 year cries alot when he feels overwhelmed I believe. He also cries when he’s having to explain himself or doesnt want to do something we asked him. It can be a but overwhelming
Thanks for this. A lot of parents need this info to know what there kids want and to avoid the unneccessary daily tears.
So true Mike!
What a helpful article. My eldest child is always crying! so helpful to know some strategies to use to help her. I have signed up to the anxious children webinar too.
One thing she always cries about is when her younger sister cries? Is this possibly something to do with the pitch of her crying as other loud noises don’t bother her? She often says ‘it gave me a fright’ .
Oh I’m so glad Lorraine, Natasha is amazing! I took an anxiety course of hers for my son and it saved us from needing therapy, not that that’s a bad thing. But, it was so empowering to know how to help him myself.
As for the crying when her sister cries, that does sound like sensory, at least in part, sometimes that’s an emotional charge though too if she’s a particularly empathetic child. Anxious kids are often VERY empathetic and don’t like seeing others upset.
That’s helpful. Thanks
It’s great to see photos of a caring Dad! Article was once again a help, too!
It’s true, we don’t see enough that, do we?!