I’m a pediatric occupational therapist that has spent my career helping kids with picky eating. But, the sheer frustration and overwhelm of having my own son that only ate a few foods, gagged and refused new foods, was a huge reality check.
I knew what to do, but putting it into practice in a way that made sense and didn’t stress me out was hard to figure out. It took a total breakdown for me to have the strength to create a plan to teach my son how to eat meat and fruits instead of the crunchy carbs he was addicted to.
I hope that in reading this article you not only get some of my best strategies that are seriously almost impossible to find anywhere else.
But, I also hope you believe that it’s possible for your child too. Picky eating is a journey. It’s not about a single trick or special recipe.
There will be peaks and valleys over the coming months and even years. When you hit a valley its important to not freak out, as tempting as it may be. But, instead work to make sure it’s not a slippery slope into returning to their picky eating ways.
This article has been updated, as it was written a few years back now, but all the strategies are still my go-to and helped me to create the plan I teach inside of my picky eater program, Mealtime Works.
We are definitely in a valley with Isaac now, with a few red flags that his eating is regressing. I can’t say I’m surprised. The last 4 months were challenging in my house, as I was extremely sick with my third pregnancy.
I was barely functioning and our whole routine was thrown up in the air. My husband did his best to keep up with all of our usual picky eating strategies for our 2 year old, but combined with the shake up in Isaac’s routine, he started refusing some of his favorite foods like rice and grapes again.
Not only did I see him refusing to eat these foods, but when he tried to eat them he shuddered and almost gagged. That was a BIG red flag. I knew we were going to have to regroup and come at this with a strong plan in mind so that he didn’t slip any further back.
When he was 8 months old his picky eating started, and worsed at 9 months old after a stomach virus. For Isaac, the root of his picky eating was because of sensory issues with food.
But, by 1 year old he was eating new foods and mealtimes weren’t stressful. Some of the strategies that got us there are laid out below!
If you’re looking for more make sure you grab a seat in our best resource: the free picky eating workshop, in it I teach you 3 key strategies, that might surprise you!
How Do You Fix Picky Eating?
I get asked this question ALL. THE. TIME.
First, you need to know it’s nothing you did wrong! Kids won’t eat for all sorts of reasons: because of their sensory sensitivities, oral motor skills, food allergies, life experiences, temperament, and other existing diagnoses such as autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
There is no quick fix, but any picky eater whether a toddler or adult can learn to eat new foods. To “fix” picky eating it’s important to understand that there is a reason why your child is picky, and once you figure out what it is, you can start working toward a solution.
And, with a solid routine, offering a variety, and following the other steps below, even extreme picky eating can be greatly improved. So if you’ve thought to yourself,
“Can picky eating be cured?”
The answer is, yes! But you’ll need a plan.
Step #1 of the Picky Eater Plan
For me, the first step was to get back to maintaining the basic eating strategies that I know work and are critical to being able to make any headway at all.
In a nutshell, here are the “rules” that we have always tried to be consistent about for both of our boys:
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- Space Meals 2.5 – 3 hours apart with nothing but water in between for optimal appetite. Count from the start of one meal to the next, this does include snacks.
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- Serve one food that is preferred (one you know they will eat) at each meal.
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- Expose him regularly to new or refused foods by at least having him tolerate them on his plate.
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- Keep mealtimes as positive of an experience as possible. This can be challenging at times and with a two year old, isn’t always possible. We specifically avoid getting into power struggles over food or talking negatively about his lack of variety. That doesn’t mean that we aren’t frustrated at times, but we do our best to keep that from him.
- We specifically avoid getting into power struggles over food or talking negatively about his lack of variety. That doesn’t mean that we aren’t frustrated at times, but we do our best to keep that from him. Using the “division of responsibility” is important for taking the pressure off of not only your child, but you as well.
Step #2: Use Key Picky Eating Strategies
This is where my laziness shines through. I KNOW these strategies work. Besides chronicling them here, I’ve had constant feedback from the families I’ve worked with and students in our picky eating program that these things can make all the difference.
But, I also know that I’m a mom with a variety of balls I’m juggling – just like you – and sometimes this stuff slips through the cracks. When your kid’s eating regresses or never gets off the ground, it doesn’t always mean that you need different or new strategies, but you need to revisit things you know work and be consistent about doing them!
Remember what I said about you not causing picky eating? It’s true, but hard work can help. Here are some key picky eating strategies:
- Keep them seated – For toddlers and preschoolers that often means continuing to use a booster seat with the strap. Many toddlers don’t have the attention span until after 3 and will just flee at a moment’s notice. For older kids they may need a wobble cushion or some sensory activities before they come to the table to help them stay seated.
Isaac does say, “I’m all done and slides down,” sometimes just minutes into the meal. When we strap him in at the dinner table, it heads all this off and keeps him working at his dinner (his most difficult meal of the day) for much longer before we try and offer up some redirection.
We have “lost” many meals because he gets down and it is too difficult to get him back without it turning into a major struggle. If your kid struggles to sit still head to how to keep kids seated for meals for more tips.
- Make a Quick Change – Sometimes kids get stuck in a rut during a meal that doesn’t start off on the right foot and a simple change can get them eating again. This takes little effort, but we have gotten fairly inconsistent about some of my go-to change ups:
- Offering him another utensil (something more fun maybe, like a digger fork)
- Using a toothpick (when appropriate)
- Pulling out a different dip
- Changing the shape of a food on the fly
- Serving Family Style – This simple trick can change the whole mood of the meal, in a good way, and typically gets your kiddo interacting with all the food in some way. Seeing other family members eating foods is often a great way to encourage your child to do the same.
- Cooking Meals Together – Cooking together is a great way to get your kid interacting with and comfortable with new foods. Of course, this does take some planning on your end and, depending on the child, you may need to let them know early in the day that they are going to be helping.
Don’t present it as a choice (You can present what they want to help with as a choice: Do you want to stir or help chop the broccoli?) .
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- Since I have started to implement cooking together again recently, I’m overwhelmingly reminded of its sheer power!
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I’m not saying that your kid is suddenly going to sit down and eat up all of that potato soup he normally doesn’t even look at, BUT maybe he will try it and not act like it is a bowl of poison.
That is what happened with Isaac last week, he tried a few bites without a word from me after helping us prepare all the veggies and witnessing the complete assembly of the soup. That is total success and a great way to get kids comfortable trying new things!!!
If your child won’t participate in cooking with you yet, try getting their input in the grocery store first. I can’t tell you how many times a simple recommendation from a picky kid at the store can help try something new at the dinner table.
Making chicken pot pie together.
Step #3: Sensory Strategies for Picky Eaters
Most of these strategies I have used in the past and use regularly with the families of fussy eaters I work with, but they require a bit more effort and planning. However, with a little organization, all of these strategies are very do-able!
- Daily Sensory Bins – I make this recommendation often and know that it is important. I kind of think of this as a good foundation to prepping their sensory system and helping it develop along. After all, these bins are great for any child, picky eater or not.
But, I think I may have underestimated it’s usefulness, as it relates to the tactile sense. Recently, one of the families I work with prepared a variety of sensory bins to play in daily and they really followed through.
Their son, who had some serious sensitivities to a variety of textures, almost suddenly started to eat a wide variety of foods after months of weekly therapy. It was one of the biggest jumps I’ve ever seen a child make so quickly and sustain.
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- So yes, I will be aiming for sensory bin play at least 4-5 times a week. For Isaac, the messier the better (think shaving cream and cloud dough).
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If your child is still young and putting everything in their mouth, see this baby safe list.
Large bins, like this one filled with birdseed, that kids can actually sit in will intensify the experience.
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- Playing with Food – That’s right, playing with food! When mealtimes stall, the best way to get kids reengaged is to model some interaction with food in a way that is comfortable for them and encourages them to imitate you.
You have to make time for this at the end of the meal and put your creativity hat on to hook into your kid’s interest. My goal is to work on this 5-6 nights a week at least, because the more I do it, the more improvement I will see. This is commonly used in feeding therapy, which is therapy for picky eaters!
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- Use Fun Tools – Cookie cutters, bento pics, and the FunBites cutter makes small uniform shapes a breeze and kids with sensory and chewing difficulties love the clear, consistent, small pieces of food. Kids love fun tools, even older kids and teens.
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- Food Chaining – We will be making a new list of all Isaac’s foods that he eats and how to make our way towards some groups of foods he doesn’t do so good with like chicken and vegetables. The idea is to start with something they like and start making small changes, slowly changing one food after the next until you build a bridge to a new food.
My goal is to try and think of tastes and textures that he is already moving towards or at least has some familiarity with. For instance, he eats sugar snap crisps (dehydrated) so I will work towards fresh ones and maybe green beans because they are similar in shape and color.
I will serve them together and talk about their similarities and differences. It can take some time to reach your end game and obviously some planning, but it is a very effective tool.
Remember, healthy eating habits start slowly, so building off of preferred foods really help some kids bridge the gap from one food to another.
I will say there are some tried and true foods that many picky eaters will try or have an easier time learning to eat. Head to 27 Clever Foods for Picky Eaters for some ideas!
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- Present Food in a Fun Way – Personally this is probably my least favorite suggestion. It just isn’t my thing and I get overwhelmed by it quickly. Too bad, I know that green beans made into a sailboat are pretty motivating for kids, including Isaac.
With tons of inspiration on Pinterest (See my Kids and Food board), it isn’t too hard to think up some ideas. I will be trying this 1-2 times a week because while it can be helpful in increasing the interaction (and hopefully consumption of) new foods, I also don’t want to turn meals into a constant art exhibit. Kids need to see food in a variety of ways, not just in cool pictures.
My goal is to have something fun 1-2 times a week.
If making food look fun feels overwhelming to you too, start small. Maybe you find a cute child’s plate in your kid’s favorite cartoon character? Or you slice bananas and make a face on top of your kids toast. It really can be that simple!
Whew, that’s my plan. I hope that it wasn’t overwhelming and if it was, break it down into small manageable pieces, and you can follow the outline in a step by step manner if that is helpful… slowly incorporating it all together.
UPDATE on Isaac’s Picky Eating at 12 Years Old
It’s been the better part of a decade since I first wrote this post. Isaac is no longer a picky eater and hasn’t been for some time. But, he didn’t “outgrow it,” as doctors would often have us believe.
It was day after day and month after month, as a 3 year old, 4 year old, and 5 year old. Year after year of being consistent with the step 1 strategies above, and for certain seasons digging in using the other strategies.
After implementing this plan to reverse his picky eating, he began to eat a wider variety of foods once again.
Mostly, progress was slower. He wasn’t eating new foods everyday. But, by age 5 I looked across the dinner table and he was eating a whole piece of grilled chicken. Taking bites off his fork.
He’d never eaten non breaded chicken before that.
That was the gateway to all sorts of other meats. In fact now I can’t think of a meat that he doesn’t eat.
At 6 years old he started to drink smoothies packed with everything you can imagine. He particularly loves to add avocado and spinach in.
At 8 years old he started to eat mixed green salads, and now eats them on the regular.
By 10 years old I realized he may be my most adventurous eater of the three I have. He’s turned into quite a foodie, asking to try unique recipes and often the first to try something unusual at a restaurant when given the chance.
Of course he still has a few foods he doesn’t care for, like seafood, and some plain veggies.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe this is the same kid that gagged when anything other than a cracker or a piece of watermelon was on his plate.
Yet it is, having a plan makes every difference in the world.
This is possible for your kid too!
If you need more help, getting our 9 Steps to Improve Eating freebie that you can save or print out is a great step.
Get More Tips for Picky Eating
When has picky eating gone too far?
Picky Eater Tips for Older Kids
What is PFD? A diagnosis for extreme picky eaters
The Most Amazing Healthy Snacks for Picky Eaters
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 20 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
I’m so glad I came upon your website. I have a 2 year old who is not interested in eating anything but veggie straws, chips, gerber pouches and yogurt. He is not interested in any type of pasta (mac n cheese, spaghetti, etc), no hamburger, rarely he will eat chicken nuggets, no milk, eggs…I could keep going but you get the idea. I have cried and become so frustrated because no matter what I fix, or how I fix it he will not even try it. I think we are dealing with a sensory thing, maybe he prefers more of the crunchy foods?
Sensory is always a possibility, and there are a lot of posts on here that deal with them as well as other picky eating subjects. You can use the search bar at the top of the page to find them. In the meantime though, have you seen my free workshop on 3 Keys to Turn Your Picky Eater Around? It has some tips that I think would be really helpful for you and get you started in the right direction. You can sign up for it here: yourkidstable.com/free
Hi I know this is an old post but I was hoping you had some luck since then? I am currently in the same boat and so frustrated with my son’s eating. What helped you? Any suggestions? Need all the help and guidance you can offer!! Please and thank you! Mama to a 3 year old soon to be 4 picky eater!!
Hey Joanne,
So sorry you are having trouble with your son’s eating. Not sure if you saw our reply, but signing up for our free workshop 3 Keys to Turning Around Picky Eating, can be really helpful to families to get your on track on working on eating! You can feel free to save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hi, I have a 6-7 month old baby who refuses food. She turns her head and pushes the spoon. If i put food in her mouth forcefully she spits it again and again. This is my fourth child. Before this my secone born also refused food in the same way and went on looking wait. At the age of 5 he is the weight of a 3yrs old. Even though he eats now, he doesn’t seem to gain weight. Can you please help me personally for both the kids.
If your older child is still struggling with picky eating, I would recommend my free workshop. The strategies you learn in there will help with your baby too as their getting older. But, I have a post for your baby that I think will be helpful: Click here.
I do wish I had this article 20 years ago when my son was 3… very picky but he is 23 now, still picky but is thin and strong and very energetic and can run a marathon. Yes I wish he would eat better but in the end he is ok.
That’s so helpful Nancy, thanks for sharing!
I have a 14 month old and she just recently started eating solid food without gagging. She has been doing really well and eats pretty good. She started out living hard things crackers cookies etc. we then moved to pastas and she is doing well there. It’s hard to get her to eat veggies though. Any tips on that? She seems to eat some with our daycare provider but never with us even though I cook it the same way. She also developed loving to throw her food on the floor while eating…. we have a dog but even when the dog is locked she throws the food. Any tips is handling that? I’m a new mom and despair for advice. I loved this blog post!
Oh I’m so glad Abby! I actually have a couple of other posts that will be helpful:
Getting Kids to Eat Vegetables
Prevent Toddlers from Being Picky Eaters
Those should answer both questions, but if not, let me know!
Didn’t read every comment here, but I’m seeing a few specific to protein (used interchangeably with the word meat) which got me thinking. If a kid flat refuses a specific group of foods, could there be an underlying immune sensitivity? As an example, I’ve had a grain sensitivity most my life, but was never allowed to be picky about my food. Last year, I got really sick because I’d been eating something my immune system can’t handle for 20+ years. Kids, especially young kids, can’t always understand or express symptoms like what I experienced. It’s possible in some cases “picky” is their only defense.
Absolutely Raidon, that’s a great point, I think for the most point its rarer for this to be the case BUT that’s why I’m a big proponent of not forcing and building off foods they like to expand variety. And as sensory processing improves, many kids readily accept new foods, if it doesn’t it may point to more of an allergy situation- when its isolated as you suggested:)
That’s why I clarified “specific.” Like always refusing beef, no matter how you fix it, or anything with wheat flour in it or what have you. I agree it may be more rare, but it’s definitely something I’ll need to account for when I have kids, since grain sensitivities can run in families, and my husband has a casein sensitivity.
My 1.5 yo won’t eat unless is fruits, oatmeal, cereal….. crackers and his bottles.
I am having a hard time following the Dr’s instructions on offering him the same food the rest of the family eats, and let him “understand” that he can no longer choose his “sweet foods”….. he doesn’t eat meat, fish, chicken, eggs, nor pasta, rice…….. I am desperate here….. on one side I’d like to just let him eat whatever he wants….. but on the nutritional side…. I know he needs to get that protein….. he is still in a good weight but Dr told me he will start getting low because of the food he is consuming/accepting…….
He told me not to force my little boy eating the food we all eat, but also not giving him any other option…… (no water, no snacks, no bottle) until next food time arrives…… He cries and cries and doesn’t eat a bit…
I totally get it Carolina! I’ve helped so many people in your situation before, and have even been in it myself. Let me first say this, I think you need to strike a balance here and offer him new foods, without forcing while always having at least one preferred food. I think this post will be really helpful: The best strategy for picky eaters. And, this one as well: How to Prevent Toddlers from Becoming Picky Eaters. Take a look at those and let me know if you have more questions! But, I will also say that if you are looking for some direct help, I have an online class you can join that will walk you through all of this with direct support for me, if you can find more out about it here.
If your child isn’t eating what you want him to eat, serve it to him again at the next meal and he doesn’t get anything until what he didn’t want to eat is finished. For example, if little guy doesn’t eat his broccoli then fine, but he isn’t getting anything else at the next meal until said cold mushy broccoli is gone. Not only will it completely fix the issue after a day or two, but it will teach your child to be grateful for the food they do have, and also a level of self discipline that most parents don’t provide for their children now a days. Children should be grateful for the food provided to them, especially if it is healthy. It is a LIFE SKILL to eat that way, not something you should beg someone to do after they’re a toddler. Don’t believe me? – try it for a week (without giving in. period.) – and see how much your life changes for the better.
Actually Michelle, I’ve working with many families that have tried the very technique you described and they never did eat. While the majority of kids will eventually eat, around 10% of all kids actually won’t eat eventually and will end up hospitalized on a feeding a tube. Some children, like the many I work with, have serious medical, sensory, or motor difficulties that make eating difficult and not just a behavior. I’m glad you’ve found successful solutions for your children, but this is certainly not a one size fits all strategy.
Thank you for saying this. I hate this kind of tough love advice. I tried, and it was awful for everyone. Waking up in the middle of the night because his stomach hurt. We didn’t get any sleep and everything else became harder. We are signed up for a pediatric dietician now, and I wish I had listened to my gut: my kid will not eat if he doesn’t want it.
Hi April,
That sounds really stressful for you and your little one! It is true that some kids won’t eat, even if they’re hungry. You might want to try to always feed your son a food that you know he enjoys (in addition to the foods you are working on) during each meal. That way you know he won’t go hungry. Our free workshop for picky eating will also give you some ideas to get started. You can save your seat HERE.
Best,
Andrea
Your Kids Table Team
Thanks for your tips! I’m hopeful to try some new strategies as my 2 year old went from eating everything to a very picky list. eg. she used to eat eggs 2-4/week with us for breakfast and now she won’t even look at them! She still has her preferred foods, but they all vary in colour or consistency and I can’t seem to find a pattern. She loves chicken noodle soup minus the chicken, broccoli, sweet potatoes, cereal, cashews, berries and cheese sandwiches. She’s recently decided that she would rather live off of milk.. I’ve limited her to 2 cups a day but there are some days that she barely eats anything and wants the milk- by the end of the day I give her more milk because I feel bad she hasn’t eaten and I want her to sleep. (we also went through a sleep regression stage). It has been a pretty stressful couple of months, but we do not have meal time struggles- if she’s done I don’t push her. I’m afraid I’m being too soft. could her senses have changed that much in just a couple of months?
Love your ideas! Your main picture makes me nervous though because you have uncut grapes on the plate which are extremely dangerous for toddlers because they can become lodged in their throat. It would be awful if someone copied the meal in that picture and caused a tragedy for them.
To be honest when I took this pic I was scrambling just to get an image for this long post. I really wish I would have cut the grapes. It was nothing my son was actually eating at the time, but a staged photo. Yes I always cut grapes until at least 4-5 years of age. I addressed this in an earlier comment and many places on this blog. Thank you for taking the time to make sure people were aware of this choking hazard.
Thank you for replying! I didn’t realize it had already been addressed in the comments above (my crazy toddler only let me read a few of them) 😉 I’m sorry about that!
I’m really excited to try your ideas! My little guy hates to try anything new!
It’s okay! I know how that is! I’m actually pretty neurotic about the choking hazards, I get it! Remember that many toddlers are picky, if you keep the environment no-pressure, provide the structure, and are consistent you will be in good shape. If you can do the extra stuff I talked about here, it will be really awesome. Best of luck!
The grapes freaked me ouuuuut! I choked on one as a child, so I definitely do quarters per the recommendation.
I am so happy to have found this site through Pinterest. My youngest just turned 9 and still is limited in the foods he will eat. Peanut butter and yogurt are his only sources of protein. He will not eat meats of any kind, nor will he eat beans, nuts or cheeses. He likes cheese flavored crackers, but not actual cheese. He was a great eater up until he turned two and learned the word no. Immediately, he began to refuse foods he’s eaten and loved. He never had any choking episodes, but his picky eating turned into full blown aversion and to this day will vomit if a food smells strongly or if we make him try a bite. I have spoken with his pediatrician, who immediately dismissed my concerns and explained to him that he needed to take as many bites of a new food as he was old. (he was four at the time) After having spent many times cleaning up the dinner he’d thrown up when we’d given him new foods to try, I explained to his doctor that just telling him to try bites wasn’t going to work. She shushed me, told me she was speaking to my son & I left her office in a fury. I’ve gotten no help from any other doctors since. I’m assuming that the smell is part of the sensory issue with him, and I’m pretty sure texture is another one. I just want to help him have a healthy life & not grow up eating peanut butter off a spoon & living on crackers, berries and a few random veggies. I will go back and read all the posts to figure out a good spot to begin. I am so thankful to learn that we’re not alone!
Forgive me for taking so long to reply. Sadly your story is so common, many pediatricians have little or no feeding training. They often dispense ill advise. As you will see on my site, around 10% of kids will not eat non preferred foods. Sounds like your son is in that category. He is not too old to have feeding therapy if that is an option for you, and I would certainly interview the therapist in advance to make sure you like the therapy route they will take. As far as this site goes, make sure you check out the article index in the menu bar, you will see a full list of all posts. Oh, and, yes, both smell and texture can be sensory related.
Good morning. I’m grandmother to a two and half year old granddaughter. Very fussy about food. She doesn’t eat porridge when she’s with me. I’ve tried all sorts of porridge. One or two spoons, then don’t want anymore. Lunch dinner the ssame, she would ask for noodles and love french fries. She’s tiny and has a very fast metabolism. I try all styles and ways to make eating pleasure.
Hermie
Hi Hermie, thanks for stopping by. I would also make sure that you have something at the meal that she likes, eat with her at a table, and space her meals so they are 2.5-3 hours apart. I would have her help you cook as well, this gives her a chance to interact with the food. Try not to pressure her and make a real routine out of the meal. If you aren’t with her a lot it will be hard to make significant changes but this will help.
Well done! As a behavior consultant with a strong interest in sensory issues, I think you’ve covered it all! It can be difficult to be so objective with your own child, but you have addressed each area logically and thoroughly, with a solid plan for making change. Although you didn’t specifically say this, you realize that YOU are the one who needs to do things differently, make a change, in order for your child to change. 🙂 That’s a critical aspect of a behavior plan that many adults don’t want to hear; they want the child to magically change on their own. Abracadabra never works in real life!!
Awww, thanks Cindy! That is so nice to hear! And, yes, I have often found the same to be true!
My daughter isn’t so much a picky eater but she does not like feeding herself. She is 1 and I’ve been working with her with a sippy cup and using forks and spoons but she refuses majority of the time to feed herself she will not drink unless it’s held for her she will eat with forks and spoons but only if someone else is doing the actual feeding. She will feed herself cut up chicken nuggets, cheerios, and puffs but that’s about it.any advice on getting her more comfortable self feeding ?
I love these ideas and believe some of them would work with my 12 year old, who still to this day is the pickiest eater. He has a serious gag reflex and is very reluctant to try anything new
As fat as I can tell he has no other sensory issues. We’ve worked with him since infancy (where all of this started). Would love to hear any ideas you may have for me. Great info here
Hi, thank you for this post! My son has been a picky eater ever since so we can definitely incorporate these tips. One question – where did you get that cool placemat from?!?!
Toys R Us.. they come personalized too!
thank you for this post. I wonder, have you had any time where none of the above written ideas worked. That is where we are today. My daughter is getting worse at liking the few foods she even will eat now; so even putting one favorite in the meal is turning into less and less for us to choose from. No meats now, one pasta type food, 3 fruits, one specific frozen pizza, and cereal with milk are all that is left on her list. I don’t know what to do as you can tell. If you have any further ideas I would love them. thanks!
Do you have suggestions for infants? My daughter is 11 months old and shows zero interest in picking little bits of food up or eating anything other than pureed baby food. She also has severe reflux, which has led to poor weight gain. We’ve seen countless doctors and specialists and can’t seem to get any answers on how to make meal time more pleasant, or how to work with her on self-feeding.
Forgot to mention: she refuses to eat textures and makes herself gag with even the smallest pieces of cut-up food.
Hi Cory, Sorry for the delay in this response. I would see the article on how to self feed to start, which you can find in the article index in the menu bar. Keep mealtimes short and add calories to whatever foods she is eating. Think about drizzling olive oil into pureed foods, for example. Demonstrate and start by just getting her to interact. If you are in the states she may also qualify for free in home feeding therapy- see the article Help for infants, early intervention. Let me know if you need more help!!
Thanks so much for this post! I found you by Google and read your “How to Get Your Kid to Eat Meat” post. I have a 3 almost 4 year old that refuses to eat meat. He used to love peas and pasta, but now refuses to eat that. He has Down Syndrome and is in a PPCD class, and I am afraid that he’s regressed a little. He used to have great habits, such as using his spoon and fork appropriately, and now he is back to using his hands or the opposite side of silverware. Dinner is the most frustrating time for me, and the weekends. He literally only eats fruit cups, yogurt, graham crackers, Nutrigrain bars, bananas, oatmeal, cereal, & hot dogs. It’s shameful to me because I feel like I am failing him! He recently tried (and devoured) sliced strawberries, but I am concerned because he is almost 4 and refuses to try anything. We use the sauce trick – he loves ketchup and will eat it on anything (even graham crackers-*shudders*). Lately, we’ve had to coax him to eat his hot dogs, and I know they aren’t very healthy but it is a solid choice right now. This was a very informative post and I want to check out those Funbites! Thanks!
Thanks Viktoria, it sounds like you are doing a great job, don’t be so hard on your self! I think a lot of the ideas in this post will be helpful for you. Also, don’t worry to much about the healthiest food choices. Goal number one is to get him eating, plus you can buy some fairly “healthy” hot dogs. Best of luck!
This is a great post. It makes me feel that I am not the only person struggling with a massively fussy eater. When people say they have a “fussy eater” I often want to give them my son for the day to experience my world. Tobias had sever reflux as a baby and spent a long time on medication. I have been told that this is where his lack of interest in food began although I have my doubts. He has always been small (0.4th percentile for height and ranging between 0,4th and 2nd for height) he is now 3 and wears 12-18 or 18-24 month clothes. His appetite is tiny. 3-5 teaspoons for breakfast. 1/4 of a sandwich and some crisps for lunch with some cucumber and carrot sticks and hummous and a small amount of dinner (curry, chilli con carne or fish fingers and chips……possibly spag bol but he will not eat anything else. He has no snacks. He will not try any new foods…………he will not touch them, tolerate them near him and if any new item is placed in his vicinity, he will not eat at all. We went hard-line a year ago and tried to insist he ate new foods. He stopped eating completely. We relented but he didn’t and was hospitalized and put on a nasal feeding tube as he lost 1kg in 3 weeks 1/8 of this body weight). The only way to get him to sit at a table is to read books. This makes food time difficult as I have to juggle reading, feeding him when he decides to stop (usually after 1 mouthful) feed my 9 month old and try not to let my 5 year old feel too left out……..oh yes and try and eat myself. I have tried so hard to get him to eat. He finds it very hard to touch food and we have been working on desensitizing him. I try and do messy play as often as possible and play with food………….but it is soul destroying to have been working on this for 2 years and to have got what seems such a short distance………..I feel I have tried everything…………any pointers…ideas…………..anything you could offer would be great. He is now seeing a OT but I see no improvement in diet or volume of food.
I think as parents we want the perfect baby, toddler, preschooler, youngster, preteenager and teenager… My son up until he was three (3) would eat everything you put in front of him, then over night he stopped this only eating five items it was concerning… After months of many different speculations and doctors appointments I was told by a professional that my son will not starve they don’t know how to, though they do however observe us… You wouldn’t eat all so why make your son… Thanks to local markets where you can try so many different foods… By the time my son was starting kindergarten age five (5) he was eating more sustainable… My son is nineteen (19) now and eats well…
I need help for a 6, 9 & 13 year old! Seriously =) I see posts like this and get excited, but it’s always for young kids. I need help for older kids!
Hi Erika, yes most of the information on here is geared for 6 and under, but many of the strategies and foundation types of things I’m talking about can be applied to older kids. Also, scroll through the above comments because there are a few other ideas for older kids. If there are underlying sensory issues with older kids they still need to be addressed. Maybe the sensory bins can be combined into art projects or as part of more productive activities. For example instead of a bin of dirt maybe they help plant some new flowers. I think I need to write a post for older kids!
Put the food on the plate. If they don’t eat it you put it in the fridge and serve it at the next meal. Keep it up and eventually they get the message that the parent is in charge. No junk food in the house. Meals only. Nothing but water in between. Get a grip here, they need to learn the world does not revolve around them.
Please tell me you don’t have children.
I really think if you haven’t been there you just won’t get it. I have a 13 year old who did just fine and I now have an almost 3 year old who cries that he’s in pain if he gets sticky. For some kids its not stubbornness or just choice. If the textures/shape/feel us wrong you’ll be cleaning up more vomit than anything. You can rewarm that plate till the cows come home. All you’ll end up doing is throwing it out and not sleeping for weeks on end cuz they are in pain.
Thank you!!! I think I’ve read your complete website by now : ) what a wonderful resource and REAL tips I can actually try – thank you! I’ve been hesitant in the past about always offering a preferred food – my girls eat plain pasta or rice and would love to keep it that way, but now I have a strategy – small steps and they will get the new foods on their plates and I’m sure they’ll eat them one day : ) Last night I offered plain pasta as well as the tuna pasta bake the family was having. 3yo initially wanted the plain pasta but asked for the tuna pasta bake after she had some grated cheese (another preferred food). And ate it all up without commenting about the peas, corn and carrot in it!!! What a great start : ) (Let’s not talk about the 5yo who started with the tuna pasta bake and changed it for the plain pasta after 3 bites-lol! Sometimes I think they do the opposite from each other to assert their independence… Perfect example is burritos – 5yo has meat, 3yo has tomato, lettuce and cheese : )
That’s great! Thanks so much for your kind comment. Sounds like you guys on the right track!
I dif fun presentations of all healthy foods for my one picky child and made it into cool things and called it fun friday or wacky Wednesday or terrific tuesday or whatever . I might make a story up about how his favorite dinosaur would love to eat the broccoli tree or whatever and for the most part it worked. We also let him pick out seeds and he helped plant them and when they started growing we would make a big deal about HIS veggies and then when they were ready he was more apt to eat them
That’s great! Thanks so much for sharing!
My son is 2 year old he hardly eats solid food..its very difficult to feedhim rice and other solid food..moreover he vomits everythg he ate..so i am feeding him porridges that also he vomits sometimes he burps and after that vomit everythg
I would highly recommend talking to your doctor about this and if possible finding a feeding therapist. Please let me know if you need more help.
This is a great article! I will definitely be trying the sensory idea. My son is almost 2 and still on formula. He used to eat baby food & yogurt melts all the time before he was 1 and just stopped for no reason. He is still on toddler formula for nutrition but will only eat cheetos, crackers, etc. Anything crunchy. Anything else I try, he gags and I can see discomfort. How would I go about this since he cannot yet tell me that he doesn’t want anything and can only say some words?
If you are in the states I would highly recommend an early intervention evaluation, it sounds like he has some underlying difficulties. It is very common for me to see kids only want crunchy foods. Try to expand on that giving him a lot of different types. He could really benefit from exercises to help him learn to chew. You could also seek out a private therapist through your insurance and I’m available for consultations- no pressure. Let me know if you need more help with any of that.
Thanks for this. My eldest started refusing new foods around age 7-8 months. At age 8, he hasn’t changed one bit. Since he could barely chew when it started, each new step was a struggle and all the standard techniques failed miserably. They only seem to work on normal childhood pickiness… and being told them like they will revolutionize my world by people who don’t understand the struggles is beyond irritating at this point! I now tell people, “if your child didn’t take at least a year to try a new shape of pasta, I don’t want to hear your ‘tip’ because you don’t know what I’m dealing with!”
The biggest thing we struggle with is inability to do most of the standard suggestions. Forget “favorite dips” because mine won’t touch condiments. Period. Forget putting peanut butter on it, they won’t touch it. Forget adding soft cheese, they won’t touch it. Putting it on pizza? Neither will eat pizza. In pasta sauce? Not that either!
Did I mention their IQs are around 150? They are not fooled by things like “food scientist” (although that was a great idea).
Our biggest food struggle is protein and fat. Aside from a tiny bit of cheese, I can’t get much into them. Chicken strips work sometimes, but only for one of my two. Any advice in those lines would be GREATLY appreciated (links?). My kids are older – 5 and 8.
One thing that has helped a tiny bit now that they are older is rewarding for trying ANYthing new. New cookie? Yup! New flavor ice cream? Yup! New activities count too. We have chore charts and “extra” stuff gets ten cents (most things get beads in the bead jar). So, trying a new food a day gets $0.70 a week. I also “forget” if it’s been a while and will pay things they haven’t tried recently.
P.S. I found this via FB from a post by Happy Hooligans. So glad I did! 🙂
Hi Shannon, take a look at the tab in the menu bar for eating basics first, I do feel really strongly that all of these steps are a very important foundation for setting up better eating for picky eaters or problem feeders. See the articles listed at the end there as a good starting point. Also, in the menu bar is the article index where I have every post listed. Look for the post how to get your kids to eat meat for some additional strategies. Remember that all of the strategies I share take time and a lot of consistency. I’m so glad you found your way here!
I am a parenting social worker in Australia and many of my clients have intellectual disabilities along with children with cognitive delays. All your tips are fantastic but my clients would find them too complicated and overwhelming to implement. I am wondering what your one or two absolutely top tips to follow would be in order to keep it really simple? Thanks 🙂
I totally understand! I would look at the eating basics tab, they should be able to follow most of those and they are really foundational to good eating. In particular focus on setting up a schedule where they eat every 2/5-3 hours with nothing in between but water. Second, eat together at the table.
Any tips on getting older kids to eat better? My kids are 5 and 9 and it’s STILL a constant challenge with them. I feel like I screwed up by not nipping this in the bud when they were much younger but I just thought they would outgrow it. My daughter (9 yo) won’t eat much protein. It’s a constant challenge to get meat into her. My son (5 yo) is a little better but not much. They are both great about fruits and veggies but protein is a big challenge for us. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!
It is a little trickier when kids are older and you are right you do need to use some different approaches, however 5 is still young enough for most of what I talked about here. Getting kids involved in meal planning and cooking can be really helpful, as well. Older kids will also buy into being “food scientists” and taking some “data” on new foods. Lastly, see the article index in the menu bar, I have a post there on how to get kids to eat meal that should help.
I ended up here via Longest Shortest Time and I just want to say thank you! What a resource you have created! We have a 3-year-old foster son who struggles mightily with eating. He has mild cerebral palsy and a repaired cleft palate, which, combined with his difficult early life, make mealtimes so hard for him. We have made some progress, and have had some good guidance from early support people and a nutrition/feeding clinic, but I’m always looking for new things to try. One of the most helpful things to read here is your notes on how long each of these things may take to “work.” It’s not something that can be fixed easily; it will take time. That’s something I know deep down, but it’s easy to forget and feel like you can just do this one thing and everything will magically be better. So, thank you for the reality check too!
Hi Sarah, thank you for your kind comment. I have to remind myself all the time that it is a process, that is why when they do something new, however small we need to acknowledge it as progress. Best of luck!
I have 6 children and the oldest was a “picky” eater but the youngest has major eating issues. He only eats some spicy foods, some fruit, and meatballs and bacon. By accident the other day his new babysitter gave him a hotdog (not realizing he has never eaten one even after it has been offered over 50 times). He ate the entire thing! It made me think that maybe someone else besides me offering a food he won’t eat might be less threatening. So I tried it a few weeks later when his grandparents came to town. I specifically left at dinnertime and gave my dad instructions to offer him meat. He ate an entire plate of rotisserie chicken! We have gone years putting items on his plate with hardly any new foods being added. (especially proteins) I have a new strategy! 🙂 I also agree with the fact that you are the mom and know best. Just because a doctor tells you to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it. Glean from others what works for you in your situation. Every family and every child is different. Try new strategies but know that in the end you have to do what works for your family.
Thanks so much for your helpful comment. It is really supportive for other parents!
How about if your child is 11 years old? Don’t sweat it if your toddler is a little picky. My son ate fine at that age. Now he eats about 5 things. Cooking and shopping together doesn’t help. Forcing him doesn’t help. Not giving him options doesn’t help. Hiding food in other food doesn’t help.
You are kind of in different territory at this age. The variables are just different. It is interesting that he ate well when he was younger. Some of the strategies I talked about here may be applicable, but additional more tailored strategies would likely be needed. How concerned are you? Do you suspect any underlying issues, like difficulties with sensory processing? A private evaluation could be immensely helpful and at least give you some direction. Let me know if you need more help.
Thank you for this post. I have 3 year old twin boys that both have eating issues related to sensory problems. We recently moved and have had major food regression partly due to that. Also I loved that you wrote about how you got lax, it is hard to always be thinking about different ways to introduce foods and stuff. I’ve had a problem with with be lax /overwhelmed about it and have been trying to get a plan together to get them back on track. Thanks for the ideas!
It is so true Louise that you have to find this balance. Some days you have to let it go and sometimes other life circumstances prevail! Thanks for your comment!
Thanks for this post. I have 3 picky eaters. Don’t think it’s sensory in nature…just good ‘ole fashioned pickiness. 😉 The consistent sized bites makes a lot of sense. My husband and I each cut up things differently and in different sizes so I can see how that would mess kids up. I will say: it makes me shudder to see whole grapes on a toddlers plate…they are notorious for serious (sometimes deadly) choking accidents. A tomato knife cuts them in quarters very easily and quickly. Same goes for hotdogs and carrots.
I don’t mind different shapes and sizes unless you notice that your kids consistently do better with the small sizes. Sometimes it is good to experiment though and try other shapes, the novelty just might be the hook. I totally agree with the choking hazard and have been meaning to write a post on that. To be honest I just threw those things on there to take a quick pick, my younger one started refusing grapes 2 months ago so I knew in that moment he wouldn’t touch them.
I love finding stories like this one. As a child, I was a very picky eater. I wouldn’t eat fruits or vegetables of any kind (corn and potatoes don’t count). The texture of these foods would cause me to gag. I always thought it was in my head. And of course so does everyone else. I knew that when I started having kids that I’d have at least one picky eater on my hands…turned out to be my first. When we started with pureed foods, I was excited because she ate pretty much everything we fed her. As she got older and started eating solid foods is when the problems started. At 18 months, I still have to puree her fruits and vegetables for her to eat them. Luckily, that’s the only problem. But I’ve noticed that she gags on foods of different textures as well. I’ve been trying to slowly puree less and less, but if something is too chunky she just picks around it. She’s started refusing new foods more and more. I just don’t want her to get to the point I am…I still can’t eat most fruits and vegetables…but I don’t know what more to do.
The important thing is to stay consistent. Keep offering and keep everything about foods positive, her interactions, your comments, etc. It is normal at her age to become more picky as her taste buds develop more. Don’t give up on foods she refused, keep offering them!
Thank you so much for this post! It is so heartening to know others are going through exactly what I am. My child is not crazy! I am not alone! 🙂
Hang in there Yvette! I’m so glad you found your way because you are definitely not alone!
Great post!! I have a daughter who will be 4 the end of September. She started having a difficult time with food about a month after I started giving her solids (11 months). She has a very sensitive sense to tastes. She was also speech delayed and had some sensory issues. I was a Special Ed teacher so I had her assessed for her speech delays at 20 months. She started receiving services in our home by a teacher and a speech therapist. After about 4 months of those services I requested a sensory evaluation because she seemed to be so sensitive to so many things. She qualified and started getting OT services as well. I also took her to a food clinic because I was concerned about her eating. They weren’t as helpful as I had hoped. They basically said she didn’t have a textural issue because she ate a variety of textures. So, here we are almost 2 years since she started getting services. I am proud to say her speech has improved so much and most of her sensory issues are no longer there, however, she still hates being dirty! LOL But, her eating has not improved, in fact I think it has gotten worse. Reading your blog tonight has come in the perfect time! I have been feeling at a lose of what to do with her. I tried to “force” her to eat and it didn’t work and to be honest I don’t want to have any more nights like that again….it was awful!! My thoughts are that she has a fear of food and she still has some sensory issues with food. She will ask about food and what we are eating and when she is ready she will ask to try food. But, it has to be when she is mentally ready. I am going to try these things that you listed. I know we need to try some new strategies. Thankfully, she is healthy and at a normal weight. Right now she is probably only eating 10 different types of food. She doesn’t like sweets, juice, ice cream, cupcakes, or most “normal” kid food. She still eats baby food oatmeal with the baby food fruit mixed in it every morning for breakfast!! I tried adding a small teaspoon of regular oatmeal to it so I could slowly change it out and she took one bite and said, “I don’t like it!”. I’m telling you, she can tell even the slightest changes! Anyways, sorry for the long post! You blog has been encouraging and I’m feeling a little more hopeful in getting her to add some new food to her diet! 🙂
I think you have a lot of good insights here. I think implementing a plan similar to the one I described here will be really helpful. Good luck and let me know if you need more help.
Oh well, I just typed out a huge reply and got an ERROR when posting. Anyhow thanks for the post. I bet it will help a lot of people 🙂
So sorry for the error Joanne- glad the post was helpful!
I had 2 children 18 months apart, both feed and weaned in exactly the same way, child one ate everything offered, infact everything in sight! Child 2, was much pickier from the start, but I persisted. By the time she was 3 every meal time would result in a huge drama ‘I’m not eating that’ I ignored her, eventually she would return to the table and pick away, but if I attempted to get her to eat meat she would rather go hungry and not eat again until breakfast.
Don’t believe the ‘they won’t starve themselves’ or ‘they’ll eat when they are hungry hype’ she could easily go from breakfast one day to breakfast the next with nothing inbetween, which was not acceptable.
When she was 5 I decided to try a week without giving her meat with her meals, it was like a miracle, no complaining, no fuss, cleared her plate every night, she has been vegetarian ever since, she is now 10.
I have had all sorts of reactions most common is ‘I should have made her eat meat’, ‘to let her become vegetarian at such as young age was wrong’ or she is labelled as an extremely fussy eater, but she just doesn’t like meat and her diet is far more varied than many of her friends, who are not considered so fussy because they do eat meat.
She eats pretty much any fruit or veg I serve and is always willing to try new ones, eats rice, pasta, potatoes, dairy, all sorts of nuts etc. It was the best decision I ever made.
Child no, 1 still eats absolutely everything in sight!
Thanks so much for your helpful comment. As I mentioned earlier I think it is important to trust your instincts. I wish as mothers we could all respect each other more often than we do.
Thank you for this post. I have a 6 year old daughter with a lot of sensory issues. She is an extremely picky eater still and gags very easily. I have struggled with this since she was very little. I will try some of these suggestions on her and hope it will improve her eating. Her pediatrician told me to make her eat atleast 2 bites of everything we offer… but that just does not happen because of the gagging and vomiting at times. I thought about getting an OT evaluation.. maybe that would really help.
I have to say that I would disagree with that advice. I think it is more helpful to expose and encourage the interaction as I described in the post. I would highly recommend getting a feeding evaluation.
Thanks so much for this post. My 2 1/2 yr old has always been a pretty good eater but has regressed a bit lately after we had a new baby. These suggestions are great and I will definitely be implementing them… Especially the sensory bins!
You are so welcome! Thanks for the kind comment!
I get upset when people suggest I ‘make’ my son eat. Do they really think we are just lazy? If I put a new food in his mouth he either gags, shudders or vomits it up. Or he will keep it in his mouth for HOURS. If force worked no one would have this issue. Having a child who is a fussy eater is very stressful as a parent trying to juggle thehealth and wellness of 6 kids. Please don’t suggest we are just not being tough enough… its like telling a parent of a disabled child they have just been too soft and the kid is just bunging it on!
I agree 100% with you. The previous comment was obviously from someone who has no experience with a child with sensory issues and was insulting…
I agree, my little one is disabled. He used to eat everything for the past year every mealtime is s struggle he has no speech and will literally throw the food, gag, vomit and become inconsolable. Some is the lovely independence struggle wanting to self feed without the co-ordination and upper limb stability to be able to do so. The rest is sensory, i have tried similar plans some days we have success others we don’t the biggest help from the blog is knowing others are experiencing similar issues and that its not down to my personal failures as a mother, which is how it feels most days. Thank you for your blog.
My son is 2 and he used to like everything now hes going off so much he will only eat chicken or chicken curry and beans. I put different foods but he just wont touch it and pushes it away. Its so frustrating as he used to love everything
Thank you for the post. This is so my son and it has been the hardest thing about parenting. I think as a mom it is your basic instinct to feed your child. I have watched my son gagging and throwing up from eating and it is sad. I will fly food airplanes, and cut it into dinosaurs and stand on my head if need to, so that he will not get a feeding tube… as for the comment above, clearly never has been in this situation and lucky you, how about just don’t read it, instead of leaving rude comments.
How about if you don’t ALLOW them to be picky?????????????? You introduce, and if rejected, try again later. It’s amazing to me how younger moms seem to think this is acceptable and the norm!! They are playing you and you write a blog about it………really??? I’m not trying to hate, but just because your child doesn’t do what you want, when you think he/she should or YOU would like, doesn’t mean that you need to blog, facebook, act like it’s the worst thing in the world happening to you!!! I have 2 kids, 4 step kids, and 4 grand kids. There has never been a reason for me to post the fact that my kids won’t eat stuff……….ever!! Woman UP ladies……..be a MOM and stop letting your baby/child rule your life!!! You can bet your ass that your Grand Mom did!!!
My first 2 children ate or at least tried everything. And i would see people talking about making separate meals for their kids. I thought it was nuts. But with the same parenting my 2 youngest have stuggled. They have ssensory issues. My 3yo will not eat any sort of meat except hot dogs (is it classified as meat lol). But i now understand how difficult it can be. All children are different. And all situations are different
I’m not sure how much you’ve read through the post, but many of these kids have serious underlying issues. As an occupational therapist, I see kids that have been put on feeding tubes because they have so much difficulty eating. Of course, in “typical” kids there are ups and downs to eating and staying consistent and re-offering is very important. Picky eating is a source of major stress for most parents that find there way here and although I write about other topics as well, I feel blessed that I’m able to offer some support and strategies.
To the comment immediately above, thank you for sharing. It is all too easy to over-generalize and you couldn’t be more right, every child is different. Thanks for sharing!
As childcare provider for 25 years, grandma of seven, and mother of five I’ve seen a lot. There are more children these days with sensory issues when it comes to eating. It is normally not the parenting, believe me I’ve seen it all. These are real issues and it is unfortunate there are people out there that would make ignorant and unhelpful comments like that. If like to encourage parents and other caregivers to seek help early if they believe a child is struggling with eating for whatever reasons.
I thought this way back when I was an expert on parenting (you know, before I actually had kids). Now I have a two year old who used to eat everything but has stopped eating all vegetables for at least 6 months now. I don’t coddle him and offer a bunch of other foods instead, and I don’t feed him junk food. I still put veggies on his plate every single day and encourage him to try them. I would love to know exactly what I should do to “woman up.”
I understand what you mean by not letting them be picky, but there is a distinct difference in ones who are just being picky for an independence issue or those with a texture issue. My son is a picky eater, but when we have tried to force him to try certain foods, he literally would gag. Foods that my husband and I eat with no problem would cause him to gag. A friend of ours actually said it looked painful for my son. We have worked with him a great deal and do not feel as though I am less of a mom for not shoving it down his throat.
You are not less of a mom, sounds like you are doing great! Many people don’t understand some of the underlying difficulties that can affect picky eating. You are so right, it is almost painful for some of the these kids. Hope this post helped you.
Yeah my parents tried that. Ha ha. I’m 40 and still one of the pickiest eaters I’ve ever met. I got really good at sneaking food off my plate that I didn’t like. From putting it in napkins, putting it back in the dish when no one was looking, sitting at the table for hours, missing deserts, having the same food for the next meal… etc. I think if someone is a picky eater, not much is going to change that. Luckily for me I only have one child that is a picky eater.
Hi, sorry, I was led here by Facebook as something informative to read before bed, and my son is also named Isaac 🙂 …but I was puzzled by this section: “…at 8 months he was still barely eating…I worked with him intensely for 3-4 months to get him eating. I was pleased by 12 months…” I struggle to see what was wrong here; children do not need food surely at this age and are just experimenting? “Under one, food for fun” etc. Interested in your views on this matter and why you were concerned as such a young age. My Isaac is approaching 13 months and hardly eats much and still has a lot of milk, but enjoys most foods he does and is growing like a bean stalk xo
I agree with this. 8 months is way too young to be worrying about a child eating a variety of foods. Most children have few teeth at that age. That’s natures hint.
Thanks for your comments ladies and although I understand where you are coming from and there is some truth to what you are mentioning it is a huge red flag if you have an 8-9 month old that isn’t interested in eating at all. There is a window of time between then and 11 months where children naturally and instinctively learn to chew, if they miss that window it can lead to many feeding difficulties. In some of the most extreme cases, I’ve seen kids end up on feeding tubes by two if there mother’s milk dries up. Many of the consults I have are with parents that missed this window and now have a two year old that doesn’t eat. Now, if your child is seeming to enjoy eating little bits and just isn’t eating a lot, it is a different thing and I do believe every mom should trust their instincts. In my case, it was very clear to me as a mother and OT that there was an underlying sensory issue, and I have seen (as I talked about here) the sensory issues throughout. Gagging and shuttering at the sight and touch of foods is an indicator of this. Also, babies don’t need teeth to eat, their gums are completely sufficient, although many people understandably think this. The first teeth they get and have for a while are the front teeth, which aren’t used for chewing anyways. They should be chewing in the back and they may not get those teeth until 18months or later, you wouldn’t want to wait that long. I hope I answered your question, SJ, if not please let me know.
Thank you for your reply and clearing the matter in my mind… I think my Isaac is just a small eater for now 🙂
Sorry but I disagree. We did BLW and my son had no interest until he was about 14 15 months hes 2.5 now and a great eater. Quite happy to try new textures flavours. So this missed opportunity I personally don’t believe in. Even the health visitor and the GP both agreed thatas long as I was offering a varied diet they had no concerns. He wwasn’t dropping 8n weight and he was reaching his milestones early.
Again, as I said in the post, I know baby led weaning for some kids, but I have worked with numerous kids that it has not and they are in feeding therapy as a result. I’m glad it worked for your child.
Thank you for these tips! I am going to start right away implementing them. A brief history: my son had some feeding delays. He was sucking his food instead of chewing and swallowing and therefore gagged on most everything. He never picked up food off his highchair tray (still doesn’t want to be messy) and it was not until 14 months that he started eating something chunkier than puree. He’s moved past that with a little help from food therapy, but I fear we’ve skipped some steps in eating as a result he’s somewhat limited in what he eats.
Can you tell some language and strategies to use to encourage actually trying the food. I always offer a new food and my son, (now 3), will say, “No thank you,” and I have always respected and want to continue respecting his “No.” So, should I just wait for him to try these foods? Do I offer something in return for trying a bite?
I get my son to SMELL the food. And after that he can try a tiny bit if he feels like it. sometimes he does, often he doesn’t.
Also, anytime we have soup or pureed anything, I might include a tiny bit of something new – blended in. So little that I can’t taste it consciously. And over several weeks/months, I add a tiny bit more everytime until I can taste it. It seems that this way his tastebuds get used to the new thing slowly, subconsciously. And then when I ‘officially’ introduce the new food some weeks/months later (and let him smell it again and again if needed) he is more likely to try it/like it. Sometimes to his own surprise 🙂
And during a meal, apart from the odd compliment on the cooking (or similar), we do NOT talk about food, but on purpose talk about anything else, the more lighthearted and fun, the better. To get him away from the constant topic of food.
Hi Apryllee! I understand, but turn it around on him and say.. Okay, but what color is it, or what do you think it sounds like when you bite it? You could hide it in your mouth? Look, I can make mine fly like an airplane… You just want to get him engaged, start with easier tasks and don’t spend too much time on this unless he is really getting into it. I totally agree with Yasmin’s comment that it is good to talk about other things too.
Yasmin- thank you so much for that very helpful comment, I love what you are doing!!!
Thanks! These are great suggestions I will try! Last night, we had good success with serving family style. He loved helping himself! We’ll see if the novelty wears off tonight!
I just discovered your blog a few days ago and I am SO excited! My sister is an OT and we talk about things like this all the time, but to have all of your knowledge documented and easy for me to reference is amazing!
Thanks so much for stopping by, and leaving such a kind comment! I really appreciate it! I put so much time into sharing this information for others.
Thank you for this post! I have been going crazy trying to get my son to eat. He used to be the best eater until he learned the word no. I am going to implement the sensory bins a lot more and try to be more patient with him. And the presentation idea looks great!
Thank you for the comment Nancy! By the way, kids eating will go up and down, it is good that he was a good eater. Stay consistent and keep offering those foods! Good luck!
Thank you for this post! My 3 year old is so picky and I honestly didn’t know what to do. All of my kids were like this but my middle out grew it and eats well. However my oldest still has a minimal list of 3 foods and several fruits. If you have any tips for a 13 year old with the same issues please let me know!
There is a ton info on picky eating here, beyond this post. See the article index for even more ideas. A lot of these basics can be applied to a 13 year old as well. Instead of asking him to play with his food, talk about the properties from a science point of view (i.e.: how hard is it, how many times do you need to chew it, does it dissolve, etc.) Good luck!
My daughter in law and I both bought the Funbites cutters and were very disappointed. They don’t cut well and the food sticks in them. We have found small cookie cutters work much better.
Thanks for the comment Loraine, I’m sorry you didn’t have a good experience. I think cookie cutters work great too, especially if they are small. I have several of the funbites myself and if you use the insert it came with it allows you to easily push the stuck food out. Also, for stringy meats you do need to rock them back and forth with a lot of pressure. What I really like about the funbites is that the shapes are really small, which some kids really need.