Learn how and when to wean off breast milk whether your baby is 1 year old, 15-months-old, or a toddler. OT and mom shares tricks for gently transitioning to milk, stopping nursing to sleep, and other weaning challenges.
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As an OT, I have shared lots of baby and toddler milestone tutorials over the years, including How to Wean from a Bottle.
The topics of feeding and eating can be complicated and stressful for many parents, no matter the age of your child. But when you have a baby or toddler, it can feel even more complex because of how much information is out there.
Weaning from breastfeeding is one area where there are a lot of opinions, and let’s be honest- lots of conflicting advice. You’ve probably read all kinds of information or even gotten advice from friends or family members.
As a mom who has done it three times with my children that were exclusively breast-fed, I’m here to share with you my best advice on how to stop breastfeeding gently, safely, and appropriately.
My oldest, NEVER took a bottle, which was really stressful, and my third would only do it if he had to. So believe me, I know the stress that comes along with this.
Of course, I’m fully aware that this can be a bit of a controversial topic. So, let me say, right now, very clearly, that this post IS NOT about when a mother should stop nursing, although I will share some general info on the topic.
This post is about how to stop breastfeeding, when a mother and child are ready. Women have many different reasons for wanting to wean at various ages. I completely welcome constructive and helpful comments, but let’s be supportive of each other’s very personal decisions.
So whether you are wondering how to wean an 11, 12, 13, 14, 15-month-old, or even an older baby or toddler, read on to hear my best tricks as a mom and occupational therapist.
When to Stop Breastfeeding and Start the Weaning Process
I know I’m leading with the when, even though I just said it is a personal decision, and it is. But, I know many of you aren’t sure when you want to wean, so let me give you some objective information.
Many moms start to wean at 12 months, right around baby’s first birthday.
I will tell you this, around 15 months of age, children enter a new cognitive phase and begin to make strong associations or attachments. Nursing to this point could make it more difficult to wean with some of the strategies I’ll discuss here, but certainly not impossible.
I don’t say that to persuade you towards weaning earlier, but want you to be aware of all the information. While I also fully support mothers that decide to nurse longer, I will caution you to be aware of those feedings affecting consumption at solid food meals.
Some toddlers can handle having “nursings” throughout the day as they please and still sit down to eat their meals, but others fill up on milk and subsequently don’t transition to eating more food.
That can be a slippery slope, as I’ve seen many times. If toddlers don’t get the practice and exposure to eating foods, sometimes they can become very picky eaters throughout childhood. If you continue to nurse, I would encourage you to treat meals as a priority as well and be aware of how recently they have nursed.
Find out other reasons kids become picky here.
For a variety of reasons, I decided to wean my own children around one year old. They were 14, 12, and 13 months, respectively. It was a gentle process that was not traumatic for my children in any way.
I did not transition them to a bottle, because at those ages, they didn’t require one. And, if you are weaning over 12 months, I would recommend phasing out those feedings totally and not substituting with infant formula or milk in a bottle or sippy cup at those times.
If you are weaning before 12 months old, you will need to replace it with infant formula in a bottle or possibly a sippy cup. Check out my complete how-to guide for getting a nursing baby to take a bottle.
How to Stop Breastfeeding – at 1 year old, 14, 15, and even 18 months?
So how do you actually start to end breastfeeding? Well, it is a transition, so there may be a little bit of dancing back and forth on this as you make sure both you and your baby are comfortable.
While some babies naturally wean by going on a nursing strike, many need gentle support to make the transition.
If your baby is 8 months old or older, I would first recommend getting them onto a loose schedule, if they aren’t already. I’m not really concerned with specific times, but intervals or around routines.
For instance, with my third, I always nursed him when he woke up from his naps, the time changed but that routine didn’t. That allowed me to plan our meals in a structured way as well, which gave him exposure to foods and helped him develop an appetite for food, too.
(You’ll find links for sample schedules at the end of this section)
Once your baby or toddler is nursing at regular intervals and not on demand, you will choose one of those times to take away. This should be the easiest time of day, usually one of the nursings in the middle of the day.
Going about this process also allows your milk supply to gradually accommodate the change in schedule so that your milk production continues to match the demand.
Typically bedtime and early morning feeds are more difficult to phase out.
The first few days that you take away those feedings you will want to change the routine a little bit and have food and a drink in a cup ready to go. For instance, when I was taking away those after nap nursings,I would go into his room, pull open the blinds right away and start talking to him real silly to get him distracted.
I’d pick him up playfully and take him downstairs (he typically nursed in his dimly lit room quietly before going downstairs). All the while, I’d be saying, “It’s time for snack! I have your drink, too!”
There were a few times where he whined and pointed to the chair he normally nursed in. I would try once more to distract him and if that didn’t work, then I’d nurse him. That is part of the transition.
If another adult were here, I would have them get him out of his crib as well, which helped change things up.
Once I eliminated that first feeding, I would wait 3-7 days before I took away another feeding, depending on how slow I wanted that to go. Then, I would follow the same procedure. I would do that all the way until I was left with morning and night time nursings.
Morning was always easier to get rid of, so I would make sure I had breakfast completely ready, so he could eat right away.
Personally, I always decided to leave the bedtime nursing session for another month or so, but you don’t need to do that. That was more for me, as weaning each of my children was a very emotional time, and I knew I needed to not rush it.
Keeping that bedtime feeding gave me time to really take in those last days of our special connection. After about a month or so, I would make sure they had a really good dinner (serve a favorite food) or a late snack and then I would let Dad do the bedtime routine.
In all cases, my kids just let my husband put them to bed, as if they had never been nursed, while I sobbed in another room. My children were fine, and I knew, for me, for us, it was time.
To sum up what we’ve just talked about, and fill in some blanks, when you’re ready to wean, you’ll want to:
- Take away one feeding at a time
- Eliminate the easiest feedings first
- Offer a meal instead of nursing. All kids should eat every 2.5 – 3 hours, count from the start of one meal to the start of the next
- Give a cup at each meal, and place either breast milk or cow’s milk in the cup. I prefer a straw cup (see how to teach your baby to drink from a straw). From an OT and mom friendly perspective, I love these cups in particular: Playtex Sipsters, Munchkin Flex Straw, and Advent Straw Cup
- The first time you give cow’s milk, mix it with a 25-50% blend of breast milk. This will help them adjust digestively and to the taste. After a day or two of successful consumption, you can continue to add less and less breast milk until it is straight cow’s milk or toddler formula, if you choose.
- Prior to weaning, give your baby water at each meal, which will help them get used to having a drink. Have water available throughout the day in a cup that they have access to once you start serving milk with their meals. Some babies will want to have both at a meal, which is fine for a short transition period.
If you are looking for more specifics on feeding schedules, click on the ages you need: 6-7 months, 8-10 months, and 11 months plus for samples. These, too, are just a guideline, but should give you some direction. Adapt them as needed.
Troubleshooting Common Breast Weaning Roadblocks
Although stopping breastfeeding can be as easy as I just made it sound, sometime parents hit some roadblocks. I’m going to run through some common ones to help you troubleshoot.
With all of the suggestions below, know that it’s important to stay consistent and keep trying. All of my boys ended up loving cow’s milk, but it took a month or so before they were drinking it really well, usually by the time they were completely weaned from the breast.
Keep in mind that once a baby turns 1, they only require 16 ounces of a milk source.Read more here about how much milk your baby should drink.
- What if baby refuses a cup of any type:
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- Try and try again – every day, at every meal, put the milk in the cup and don’t pressure them. Offer it and even demonstrate, but don’t force. You can experiment with serving cold and warm if you like. If your toddler spits it out, that’s okay, it’s all part of the process.
- Try pumped milk – if you are willing and able, pump and offer that milk in the cup. It will seem foreign and some will likely be wasted, but some babies do better with the familiar taste.
- Focus on 2-3 different types of cups – cycle through a few different kinds of cups, maybe some with bright colors or a silly character on it.
- Water in a cup during the day – always have the water in a cup throughout the day. Give it to them in the car, in the bath, outside, wherever.
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- How to stop nursing to sleep:
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- Change up the routine (as described in the previous section)
- Transitional object – if your child doesn’t already have a special object like a stuffed animal or blanket, start encouraging one. Give it to them every time you are nursing, put it in their arms when you lie them down. Every time.
- Well-fed – I don’t want you to overly worry about this, so many parents do naturally, but it will give you peace of mind in knowing that their tummy is full. Serve a later dinner that is a favorite or a bedtime snack, where you can give milk in a cup. Knowing their well-fed will help you feel better if they protest a little and they will be less likely to request nursing.
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- Baby won’t stop nursing and crying:
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- Distract – while I urge you to not push your baby too fast, some will protest a little. This is when you’ll want to change gears and do something really exciting. I remember with my oldest, I always used to feed him on the couch in the middle of the day and I’d rearrange the pillows to support my arm. In the process of weaning, I started to do that just to straighten up and he saw me and thought it was time to nurse. He didn’t cry, but I quickly grabbed him and stood up, saying, “Oh my goodness, did you just hear that car go by?” We went over to the window to have a look and he forgot about it in a second.
- Offer another drink – without making to big of a deal about it, provide a drink instead, “Oh, here’s your water.” Notice, I didn’t ask, I just made a statement.
- Cuddles – give lots of these at other times, so they feel that connection with you still.
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Tips for success
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- Don’t feel rushed, watch for your child’s acceptance and adjustment.
- You may be emotional, this is normal. Make sure you are feeling comfortable with your decision.
- Don’t listen to other people’s opinions.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments, I’ll be happy to answer. And if you’ve been through this before, share your tips, it will be helpful to everyone that stops here.
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 19 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
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Thankyou very informative article. I am a mom if two girl the younger one is 1 year old she doesn’t know about bottle means exclusively breastfeed but all of a sudden I got pregnant and my OB is not allowing me to breastfeed 🙁 … But my baby is not leaving she eat everything but she want me after every meal its a very amazing kind of attachment between two of us and I was lonely about doing this to her but after reading your post I found some positive ways and I am happy to found it. Thanks
So happy you found us Fali!! We hope this helps you in your journey!
Best,
Desiree
I’ve tried bottles, 3 different kinds of sippy cup, straws, an open cup, I’m at my wits end.
He will not drink from anything but the breast. He’s 1 year old. My wife has gone back to work and I’m staying home with him. He’ll feed from her before she goes to work and then will not drink ANYTHING until she gets home after work. Including travel we’re talking somewhere between 9 and 9 and a half hours with NO liquid intake. He gets warm/sweaty and is obviously getting dehydrated as the day goes on and just slowly gets worse and worse.
I haven’t swapped these methods quickly or anything, I’ve been trying this for almost two months! He just refuses to even open his mouth for anything but the boob.
Hey Mike,
We are so sorry you are dealing with this, as this can be frustrating! If you have tried the suggestions in the article and nothing seems to help, I’d make sure you are reaching out to your pediatrician to make them aware and have them offer suggestions specific for your child. I’d also maybe reach out to try to have a feeding evaluation, so that you can have suggestions provided by a therapist that is able to see what is happening. This article helps to cover therapy choices HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hello
Sad to hear it.. But try to take your baby outdoors and try to feed him in garden… Or else take him to friends place where his age babies are there.. Looking at them may b he will try to eat…
my daughter is 19mths and i have been wanting to stop breast feeding for a min now she goes to daycare and has had an overnight stay at babysitters so far and they have no issues but when I am around she demands it i am able to distract her most of the time but night time feeding is the one we struggle with we co sleep sometimes as well so she is right next to me and will be looking in her sleep for it, I’m honestly not worried about the day feedings i just dont see how to stop the bedtime ones she also wants to be fed for naps only when im around though she is perfect for everyone else.
HI!!
Yes, this can be very tricky and I can relate!!! It is a hard battle, but as you can see she is able to fall asleep when you are not around. Changing up her routine in the home, as well as trying to find a comforting transitional item can be helpful. Also, I’d look for someone in your house that can put her to bed for a few nights to break up the routine (or have someone come stay with you) so that she breaks that cycle!
Hope this helps, Keep us posted!
Desiree
Hi thank you for the article. My daughter is 11 months and we’ve dropped the 2 midday feedings and replaced with a bottle of bam or formula, but she doesn’t do as well with them, only eats 4-6 oz before refusing. Also, how do you go about dropping the morning feeding? My breasts are very full first thing in the morning, so how do you help your body adjust without being uncomfortable?
Hi Amber,
This definitely is an adjustment, so we can understand how hard this is! For the morning feeding you can look at trying to decrease the amount of time on the breasts to slowly decrease the amount. So if she nurses for 15 minutes, try 10 and slowly decrease from there so that you are less uncomfortable, and she is able to get some of the nursing in, however then have a breakfast as well afterwards to get her full nutrition!!
Hope this helps, keep us posted!
Desiree
This was sooo helpful. Thank you! My daughter is almost 15 months and I’m on day 5 of dropping her middle of the feeding. Going to try and drop her morning one hopefully next week and go from there with the bedtime one a few weeks after. Thanks so much for the help!
Awesome!! Keep us posted!! Happy you are loving the information 🙂
Nicely explained
I want to know how to sooth crying baby in night and demanding breastfeeding only. My baby 1 and half yr old. Wakes up crying 5..6 times at night . Not even allow dady to take her.
I totally understand this can be very tricky during the night. I would try to be looking for a comfort item that is introduced during the day that you would be able to use during the night ie:blanket, small soft object, etc, this can help to replace the comfort nursing, but continue to cuddle. Also, how long has your husband tried to comfort her? Often they will make that connection that Daddy isn’t able to nurse and will calm quicker. Hope this helps, Keep us posted!
Thank u so much
Will try this
Thank you Alisha… It’s really helpful as today i am just starting to stop my child to breastfeeding… She’s of 15 months but she mostly reallyon mother feed… It has been very painfulfor me specially at night, after reading your article i got some courage to make her avoid orherwise i was feeling embarrassing n getting emotional about it…
There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m so happy the article has helped you. Remember it’s a process and using the tips in the post will help.
I love your website!! And this article was very helpful!! I just wanted to clarify, you mentioned that but after 12 months toddlers only need 16 oz of milk a day. So it can’t be either breastmilk or Cows milk until she’s is weaned? So it’s ok to only give her 16 ounces of breastmilk?
12 oz is what the AAP recommends, but I’d definitely check with your doctor. Most young toddlers need a transition period and being over 12 oz is usually okay.
Hi! I am 4 1/2 months pregnant and I have a 12 month old little guy. The issue I have is that around 2 months ago my milk dried up and which time I got my little guy adjusted to taking bottles. However, the comfort nursing has remained. I’ve eliminated random nursing for the most part. The only time I really let him comfort nurse is right before a nap 2× a day (He doesn’t nurse after waking up, just before to fall asleep), to go to bed and throughout the night if he happens to wake up. And in the morning if he is still tired and is trying to fall asleep. I feel sad because he just isn’t ready to give up our nursing moments. But it’s also hard on me because I am sensitive and my breasts are hurting at times. Anytime I try to not nurse he has a huge tantrum moment. How do I wean my little guy. He loves bottles, foods, water. He can drink from any cup or sippy cup. He just wants the connection I think.
I know it’s so hard, especially when your pregnant! I think it’s a personal choice, and I’d encourage to follow your instincts on stopping, but giving him a transitional object and snuggle time could be really helpful. Check out more above for other ideas:)
Help me!
I go back to work in 3 weeks, and have EBF my 11 month old until recently.. The last few days I have tried dropping her feeds before naps, and am always offering cows milk through the day. She will drink here and there, but not nearly enough. I then nurse her before bed, and 2-3 More times through the night. Am I on the right track, or should I nurse through the day because she is refusing to drink the cows milk..?
She is self fed, and eats solids very well. Advice please!
Well, that depends, she’s just at the age to start this so she might just need a few more weeks. I would still nurse her during the day if that fixed the sleeping issue. I’d focus on creating meals out of the nursing so she isn’t snacking on you all day as well, this will help develop her appetite. Have you tried putting some pumped milk in with her cows milk?
HI, my baby is 1 years old and does not want to fall asleep without breastfeeding. I am trying to stop breastfeeding but this seems to be the only roadblock because this is the only time she wants to feed.
I’m having the exact same issue as Tyler. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!
I know this can be so hard, if she is just 12 months you have some time, a couple of months, but if she’s older or your ready to be done, then it can be really effective to have someone else put her to bed. You could try a bedtime snack so that her belly’s full if you’re worried about that aspect.
My daughter is struggling to wean off of nursing. she will be 13 months on the 9th and I am over breast feeding. I need her to sleep with a full belly she sleeps through the night. She refuses to take a bottle from me, always has. She likes her almond milk but never drinks enough to help fill her up. I am a single mother so there is no dad to lay her down at night so i am really struggling with how to get her to sleep without the assistance of someone else. Any suggestions other than that? every blog I’ve read says have dad lay them down, what about the single mothers?
Absolutely! I get it. It’s possible that you could give her more of that almond milk right before your bedtime routine and then not offer her breast milk at all, there’s a good chance she’ll just go to sleep and still sleep through the night. Another option is to have a family member or friend come over that your baby is comfortable with for a few nights.
Hi, thanks for this. Do you suggest replacing nursing with a cup of milk for a child over 12 months? My 2.5 year old still has a cup of milk first thing in the morning (he only has water for rest of day) and I’m about to wean my 13 month old girl – she only nurses first thing in morning and at bedtime – but don’t know I give her cow’s milk in a cup in place of the breast at these times? Any advice would be most welcome. Thanks
Hey!
Thanks for reaching out! You might actually introduce milk at another time (mealtimes are a great option) first before you replace a nursing session with it. Once you see that she is able to drink milk well, then you can go ahead and drop another feeding. Dropping the one in the morning first and lastly the one in the evening. Kids usually have the hardest time letting the bedtime feeding go, so that’s usually the one to hang onto for a bit longer. I hope that helps!
Best,
Andrea
Hi 🙂
I am breastfeeding my one year old and just found out i’m pregnant again! I need to wean him ASAP because its too much for me to keep up with… im having a lot of weakness and im CRAZY hungry all the time! How should i go about with this? Should i just stop completely and see how that goes? Any suggestions?
You could try that, but it may be really uncomfortable for you. You can wean him in about week though, or even less using the steps above!
Hi, my son is 15 months old and wakes up like 3 to 4 times at night to breastfeed. After feeding I have to pat him to sleep as he doesn’t go back to sleep on his own. I am really exhausted and want some tips. My husband have a late night job so he can’t help me that much.
Hi Saba, I understand. Have you tried the tips in the article yet?
Hi, please help me!! My little boy, who is turning 2 years old this week, is still breastfeeding on demand. I’ve had so much trouble getting him to eat solids, everyone in my breastfeeding group told me he would get over it and start getting more interested in food but he barely has. He’s never been interested in putting much things in his mouth, not even toys. He has never even allowed me to brush his teeth no matter how many times we’ve shown him by example. I think straight down he doesn’t really like to put “weird” things in his mouth.
He eats terribly, he refuses to even try foods and sometimes just drinks water, milk or juice. He still only likes yogurt, marshmallows, and a very few foods but I couldn’t exactly call them favorites because even though he sometimes eats them and tastes them like a champ, most times he won’t even look at them. There are days when he doesn’t eat solids at all. I’ve been preocupied for this for a while and I’ve surfed your blog and found out I actually do most everything wrong because I myself have an awfull relationship with food. I never sit to eat, I don’t have a schedule, I sometimes starve and sometimes eat just for confort even when I’m already full. I’m trying to change for him of course and to change things at home so he’ll have a normal relationship with food and grow up and develop. In my country there is no such thing as Feeding Therapy except for kids with disabilites and even then it’s quite expensieve. Despite everything he is growing at a normal rythm, he is tall for his age and he is super smart and just a happy kid. I think breastmilk has somehow aided to his growth but still after reading this I think it might be also the reason he doesn’t eat that much. Where do I start? With the “Eating Basics”? With weaning? What favorites do I include in his meals if he has none he will eat consistently except for chocolate covered marshmallows?? (If it was up to him thats all he would ever eat)…. help please!
I know it’s so hard, I wouldn’t beat yourself up, as hard as that is! It sounds like he had some underlying difficulty going on with eating which is why he’s still dependent on breast milk. However, it’s kind of a catch 22. I’d try to keep his feedings on a schedule, preferably after meals. I’d also read how to transition your toddler to table foods, that is going to have some specific advice for you!
hi thanks for advise i will try it cause i was trying method of ale on the breast but it did nt works please help
Yes Christina, start with the tips from the post to get started.
I know it’s hard Celeste, you find what you’re comfortable with, but the pattern will likely continue if they know you’ll give in. You could try serving dinner a little later, they may be hungrier then. You could also try to have a scheduled bedtime snack. In my house, we occasionally do a snack, but I’m firm most of the time with no food til breakfast.
Hi, thanks for the article.
I’m wondering if I need to a to give my 12 month old breast milk or cows milk to replace the feeds I am removing? He is EBF and I have cut out one afternoon feed (aftern nap) and just replaced it with extra snacks. I would like to cut out the midday feed (after 1st nap) in the next couple weeks. I don’t know know if at that point i should express so he can have bottle at daycare or go without altogether.
Isn appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks!
I’d definitely consult your doc and see what they’re recommendations are. But, you want to think about keeping it slow. Maybe start the process when he’s not in daycare so you can monitor? This feeding schedule will be helpful too!
Thank you for this article. It’s the most helpful thing ive been able to find. My son has just turned one and we are both ready to stop breastfeeding as he wakes 4/5 times in the night for comfort feeds. I don’t feed him in the day anymore which he doesn’t seem To mind. He only wants me at bedtime and during the night.
He will only sleep during the day if i feed him to sleep, in the car or in his pushchair. Otherwise he will scream until he gets my milk. ANy advise would be greatly appreciated please
I’m in the same situation. My son is about to turn 1, nurses to sleep for 2 naps and wakes 1-3 times a night for comfort feeds. Nurses to sleep at bedtime usually, but if my husband is home he tries to put him to sleep for me to avoid that. My issue is that my husband works nights so I’m not sure how to get my son back to sleep in the middle of the night without nursing (he will scream and try to RIP my shirt off….). I’m the first in my close family to breastfeed anywhere close to this long, so any advice is so appreciated!!
It can be tricky! I’d try some of the suggestions from the post. Keep in mind, you’ll have to try again and again, most likely. It’s a process.