I’m a little ashamed that I haven’t written this post sooner, as an OT I have shared lots of baby and toddler milestone tutorials, including How to Wean from a Bottle. But, I haven’t addressed stopping breastfeeding, and how to get it done safely and appropriately, even though I have done it three times with my children that were exclusively breast-fed. My oldest, NEVER took a bottle, which was really stressful, and my third would only do if he had to.
Of course, I’m fully aware that this can be a bit of a controversial topic, which is probably why its taken me this long to write it. So, let me say, right now, very clearly, that this post IS NOT about when a mother should stop nursing, although I will share some general info on the topic. This post is about How to stop breastfeeding when a mother and child are ready. Women have many different reasons for wanting to wean at various ages. I completely welcome constructive and helpful comments, but let’s be supportive of each other’s very personal decisions.
When to Stop Breastfeeding
I know I’m leading with the when, even though I just said it is a personal decision, and it is. But, I know many of you aren’t sure when you want to wean, so let me give you some objective information. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for one year, and most American doctors would support that. At one year, a baby’s nutritional needs change and they no longer *physically* need breast milk, not that it couldn’t still be beneficial. The World Health Organization and UNICEF recommend until 2 years of age.
This conflicting advice leaves some mom’s unsure of what to do. I will tell you this,around 15 months of age children enter a new cognitive phase and begin to make strong associations or attachments. Nursing to this point could make it more difficult to wean with some of the strategies I’ll discuss here, but certainly not impossible. I don’t say that to persuade you towards weaning earlier, but want you to be aware of all the information. While I also fully support mother’s that decide to nurse longer, I will caution you to be aware of those feedings affecting consumption at meals. Some toddlers can handle having “nursings” throughout the day as they please and still sit down to eat their meals, but other’s fill up on milk and subsequently don’t transition to eating more food. That can be slippery slope, as I’ve seen many times. If toddlers don’t get the practice and exposure to eating foods, sometimes they can become very picky eaters throughout childhood. If you continue to nurse, I would encourage you to treat meals as a priority as well and be aware of how recently they have nursed.
For a variety of reasons, I did decide to wean my own children around one year old. They were 14, 12, and 13 months, respectively. It was a gentle process that was not traumatic for my children in any way. I did not transition them to a bottle, because at those ages they didn’t require one. And, if you are weaning over 12 months, I would recommend phasing out those feedings totally and not substituting with formula or milk in bottle or sippy cup at those times.
If you are weaning before 12 months old, you will need to replace with formula in a bottle or possibly a sippy cup. Check out my complete how-to guide for getting a nursing baby to take a bottle.
How to Stop Breastfeeding
So how to do you actually start to end breastfeeding? Well, it is a transition, so there may be a little bit of dancing back and forth on this as you make sure both you and your baby are comfortable. If your baby is 8 months old or older, I would first recommend getting them onto a loose schedule, if they aren’t already. I’m not really concerned with specific times, but intervals or around routines. For instance, with my third, I always nursed him when he woke up from his naps, the time changed but that routine didn’t. That allowed me to plan our meals in a structured way as well, which gave him exposure to foods and helped him develop an appetite for food, too. (You’ll find links for sample schedules at the end of this secion
Once your baby or toddler is nursing at regular intervals and not on demand, you will choose one of those times to take away. This should be the easiest time of day, usually one of the nursings in the middle of the day. Typically bedtime and morning feeds are more difficult to phase out.
The first few days that you take away those feedings you will want to change the routine a little bit and have food and a drink in a cup ready to go. For instance, when I was taking away those after nap nursings. I would go into his room, pull open the blinds right away and start talking to him real silly to get him distracted. I’d pick him up playfully and take him downstairs (he typically nursed in his dim lit room quietly before going downstairs). All the while, I’d be saying, “It’s time for snack! I have your drink, too!” There were a few times where he whined and pointed to the chair he normally nursed in. I would try once more to distract him and if that didn’t work then I’d nurse him. That is part of the transition. If another adult were here, I would have them get him out of his crib as well, which helped change things up.
Once I eliminated that first feeding, I would wait 3-7 days before I took away another feeding, depending on how slow I wanted that to go. Then, I would follow the same procedure. I would do that all the way until I was left with morning and night time nursings. Morning was always easier to get rid of, so I would make sure I had breakfast completely ready, so he could eat right away.
Personally, I always decided to leave the bedtime nursing for another month or so, but you don’t need to do that. That was more for me, weaning each of my children was a very emotional time, and I knew I needed to not rush it. Keeping that bedtime feeding gave me time to really take in those last days of our special connection. After about a month or so, I would make sure they had a really good dinner (serve a favorite food) or a late snack and then I would let Dad do the bedtime routine. In all cases, my kids just let my husband put them to bed, as if they had never been nursed, while I sobbed in another room. My children were fine, and I knew, for me, for us, it was time.
To sum up what we’ve just talked about, and fill in some blanks, when you’re ready to wean you’ll want to: (affiliate links used below)
- Take away one feeding at a time.
- Eliminate the easiest feedings first.
- Offer a meal instead of nursing. All kids should eat every 2.5-3 hours, count from the start of one meal to the start of the next.
- Give a cup at each meal, and place either breast milk or cow’s milk in the cup. I prefer a straw cup (see how to teach your baby to drink from a straw). From an OT and mom friendly perspective I love these cups in particular: Playtex Sipsters, Munchkin Flex Straw, and Advent Straw Cup
- The first time you give cow’s milk, mix it with a 25-50% blend of breast milk. This will help them adjust digestively and to the taste. After a day or two of successful consumption you can continue to add less and less breast milk until it is straight cow’s milk or toddler formula, if you choose.
- Prior to weaning give your baby water at each meal, which will help them get used to having a drink. Have water available throughout the day in a cup that they have access to, once you start serving milk with their meals. Some babies will want to have both at a meal, which is fine for a short transition period.
If you are looking for more specifics on feeding schedules, click on the ages you need: 6-7 months, 8-10 months, and 11 months plus for samples. These, too, are just a guideline but should give you some direction. Adapt them as needed.
Troubleshooting Common Breast Weaning Roadblocks
Although stopping breastfeeding can be as easy as I just made it sound, sometime parents hit some roadblocks. I’m going to run through some common ones to help you troubleshoot. With all of the suggestions below, know that is important to stay consistent and keep trying. All of my boys ended up loving cow’s milk but it took a month or so before they were drinking it really well, usually by the time they were completely weaned from the breast. Keep in mind that once a baby turns 1, they only require 16 ounces of a milk source.
- Refuses a cup of any type:
- Try and try again – every day, at every meal, put the milk in the cup and don’t pressure them. Offer it and even demonstrate, but don’t force. You can experiment with serving cold and warm if you like. If your toddler spits it out, that’s okay, all part of the process.
- Try pumped milk – if you are willing and able, pump and offer that milk in the cup. It will seem foreign and some will likely be wasted, but some babies do better with the familiar taste.
- Focus on 2-3 different types of cups – cycle through a few different kinds of cups, maybe some with bright colors or a silly character on it.
- Water in a cup during the day – always have the water in cup throughout the day. Give it to them in the car, in the bath, outside, wherever.
- Nursing to sleep:
- Change up the routine (as described in the previous section)
- Transitional object – if your child doesn’t already have a special object like a stuffed animal or blanket start encouraging one. Give it to them every time you are nursing, put it in their arms when you lie them down. Every time.
- Well-fed – I don’t want you to overly worry about this, so many parents do naturally, but it will give you piece of mind in knowing that their tummy is full. Serve a later dinner that is a favorite or a bedtime snack, where you can give milk in a cup. Knowing their well-fed will help you feel better if they protest a little and they will be less likely to request nursing.
- Crying:
- Distract – while I urge you to not push your baby too fast, some will protest a little. This is when you’ll want to change gears and do something really exciting. I remember with my oldest, I always used to feed him on the couch in the middle of the day and I’d rearrange the pillows to support my arm. In the process of weaning, I started to do that just to straighten up and he saw me and thought it was time to nurse. He didn’t cry, but I quickly grabbed him and stood up, saying, “Oh my goodness, did you just hear that car go by?” We went over to the window to have a look and he forgot about it in a second.
- Offer another drink – without making to big of a deal about it, provide a drink instead, “Oh, here’s your water.” Notice, I didn’t ask, I just made a statement.
- Cuddles – give lots of these at other times, so they feel that connection with you still.
Tips for success
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- Don’t feel rushed, watch for your child’s acceptance and adjustment.
- You may be emotional, this is normal. Make sure you are feeling comfortable with your decision.
- Don’t listen to other’s people opinions.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments, I’ll be happy to answer. And if you’ve been through this before, share your tips, it will be helpful to everyone that stops here.
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my daughter is 19mths and i have been wanting to stop breast feeding for a min now she goes to daycare and has had an overnight stay at babysitters so far and they have no issues but when I am around she demands it i am able to distract her most of the time but night time feeding is the one we struggle with we co sleep sometimes as well so she is right next to me and will be looking in her sleep for it, I’m honestly not worried about the day feedings i just dont see how to stop the bedtime ones she also wants to be fed for naps only when im around though she is perfect for everyone else.
HI!!
Yes, this can be very tricky and I can relate!!! It is a hard battle, but as you can see she is able to fall asleep when you are not around. Changing up her routine in the home, as well as trying to find a comforting transitional item can be helpful. Also, I’d look for someone in your house that can put her to bed for a few nights to break up the routine (or have someone come stay with you) so that she breaks that cycle!
Hope this helps, Keep us posted!
Desiree
Nicely explained
I want to know how to sooth crying baby in night and demanding breastfeeding only. My baby 1 and half yr old. Wakes up crying 5..6 times at night . Not even allow dady to take her.
I totally understand this can be very tricky during the night. I would try to be looking for a comfort item that is introduced during the day that you would be able to use during the night ie:blanket, small soft object, etc, this can help to replace the comfort nursing, but continue to cuddle. Also, how long has your husband tried to comfort her? Often they will make that connection that Daddy isn’t able to nurse and will calm quicker. Hope this helps, Keep us posted!
Thank u so much
Will try this
Thank you Alisha… It’s really helpful as today i am just starting to stop my child to breastfeeding… She’s of 15 months but she mostly reallyon mother feed… It has been very painfulfor me specially at night, after reading your article i got some courage to make her avoid orherwise i was feeling embarrassing n getting emotional about it…
There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m so happy the article has helped you. Remember it’s a process and using the tips in the post will help.
I love your website!! And this article was very helpful!! I just wanted to clarify, you mentioned that but after 12 months toddlers only need 16 oz of milk a day. So it can’t be either breastmilk or Cows milk until she’s is weaned? So it’s ok to only give her 16 ounces of breastmilk?
12 oz is what the AAP recommends, but I’d definitely check with your doctor. Most young toddlers need a transition period and being over 12 oz is usually okay.
Hi! I am 4 1/2 months pregnant and I have a 12 month old little guy. The issue I have is that around 2 months ago my milk dried up and which time I got my little guy adjusted to taking bottles. However, the comfort nursing has remained. I’ve eliminated random nursing for the most part. The only time I really let him comfort nurse is right before a nap 2× a day (He doesn’t nurse after waking up, just before to fall asleep), to go to bed and throughout the night if he happens to wake up. And in the morning if he is still tired and is trying to fall asleep. I feel sad because he just isn’t ready to give up our nursing moments. But it’s also hard on me because I am sensitive and my breasts are hurting at times. Anytime I try to not nurse he has a huge tantrum moment. How do I wean my little guy. He loves bottles, foods, water. He can drink from any cup or sippy cup. He just wants the connection I think.
I know it’s so hard, especially when your pregnant! I think it’s a personal choice, and I’d encourage to follow your instincts on stopping, but giving him a transitional object and snuggle time could be really helpful. Check out more above for other ideas:)
Help me!
I go back to work in 3 weeks, and have EBF my 11 month old until recently.. The last few days I have tried dropping her feeds before naps, and am always offering cows milk through the day. She will drink here and there, but not nearly enough. I then nurse her before bed, and 2-3 More times through the night. Am I on the right track, or should I nurse through the day because she is refusing to drink the cows milk..?
She is self fed, and eats solids very well. Advice please!
Well, that depends, she’s just at the age to start this so she might just need a few more weeks. I would still nurse her during the day if that fixed the sleeping issue. I’d focus on creating meals out of the nursing so she isn’t snacking on you all day as well, this will help develop her appetite. Have you tried putting some pumped milk in with her cows milk?
HI, my baby is 1 years old and does not want to fall asleep without breastfeeding. I am trying to stop breastfeeding but this seems to be the only roadblock because this is the only time she wants to feed.
I’m having the exact same issue as Tyler. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!
I know this can be so hard, if she is just 12 months you have some time, a couple of months, but if she’s older or your ready to be done, then it can be really effective to have someone else put her to bed. You could try a bedtime snack so that her belly’s full if you’re worried about that aspect.
My daughter is struggling to wean off of nursing. she will be 13 months on the 9th and I am over breast feeding. I need her to sleep with a full belly she sleeps through the night. She refuses to take a bottle from me, always has. She likes her almond milk but never drinks enough to help fill her up. I am a single mother so there is no dad to lay her down at night so i am really struggling with how to get her to sleep without the assistance of someone else. Any suggestions other than that? every blog I’ve read says have dad lay them down, what about the single mothers?
Absolutely! I get it. It’s possible that you could give her more of that almond milk right before your bedtime routine and then not offer her breast milk at all, there’s a good chance she’ll just go to sleep and still sleep through the night. Another option is to have a family member or friend come over that your baby is comfortable with for a few nights.
Hi 🙂
I am breastfeeding my one year old and just found out i’m pregnant again! I need to wean him ASAP because its too much for me to keep up with… im having a lot of weakness and im CRAZY hungry all the time! How should i go about with this? Should i just stop completely and see how that goes? Any suggestions?
You could try that, but it may be really uncomfortable for you. You can wean him in about week though, or even less using the steps above!
Hi, my son is 15 months old and wakes up like 3 to 4 times at night to breastfeed. After feeding I have to pat him to sleep as he doesn’t go back to sleep on his own. I am really exhausted and want some tips. My husband have a late night job so he can’t help me that much.
Hi Saba, I understand. Have you tried the tips in the article yet?
Hi, please help me!! My little boy, who is turning 2 years old this week, is still breastfeeding on demand. I’ve had so much trouble getting him to eat solids, everyone in my breastfeeding group told me he would get over it and start getting more interested in food but he barely has. He’s never been interested in putting much things in his mouth, not even toys. He has never even allowed me to brush his teeth no matter how many times we’ve shown him by example. I think straight down he doesn’t really like to put “weird” things in his mouth.
He eats terribly, he refuses to even try foods and sometimes just drinks water, milk or juice. He still only likes yogurt, marshmallows, and a very few foods but I couldn’t exactly call them favorites because even though he sometimes eats them and tastes them like a champ, most times he won’t even look at them. There are days when he doesn’t eat solids at all. I’ve been preocupied for this for a while and I’ve surfed your blog and found out I actually do most everything wrong because I myself have an awfull relationship with food. I never sit to eat, I don’t have a schedule, I sometimes starve and sometimes eat just for confort even when I’m already full. I’m trying to change for him of course and to change things at home so he’ll have a normal relationship with food and grow up and develop. In my country there is no such thing as Feeding Therapy except for kids with disabilites and even then it’s quite expensieve. Despite everything he is growing at a normal rythm, he is tall for his age and he is super smart and just a happy kid. I think breastmilk has somehow aided to his growth but still after reading this I think it might be also the reason he doesn’t eat that much. Where do I start? With the “Eating Basics”? With weaning? What favorites do I include in his meals if he has none he will eat consistently except for chocolate covered marshmallows?? (If it was up to him thats all he would ever eat)…. help please!
I know it’s so hard, I wouldn’t beat yourself up, as hard as that is! It sounds like he had some underlying difficulty going on with eating which is why he’s still dependent on breast milk. However, it’s kind of a catch 22. I’d try to keep his feedings on a schedule, preferably after meals. I’d also read how to transition your toddler to table foods, that is going to have some specific advice for you!
hi thanks for advise i will try it cause i was trying method of ale on the breast but it did nt works please help
Yes Christina, start with the tips from the post to get started.
I know it’s hard Celeste, you find what you’re comfortable with, but the pattern will likely continue if they know you’ll give in. You could try serving dinner a little later, they may be hungrier then. You could also try to have a scheduled bedtime snack. In my house, we occasionally do a snack, but I’m firm most of the time with no food til breakfast.
Hi, thanks for the article.
I’m wondering if I need to a to give my 12 month old breast milk or cows milk to replace the feeds I am removing? He is EBF and I have cut out one afternoon feed (aftern nap) and just replaced it with extra snacks. I would like to cut out the midday feed (after 1st nap) in the next couple weeks. I don’t know know if at that point i should express so he can have bottle at daycare or go without altogether.
Isn appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks!
I’d definitely consult your doc and see what they’re recommendations are. But, you want to think about keeping it slow. Maybe start the process when he’s not in daycare so you can monitor? This feeding schedule will be helpful too!
Thank you for this article. It’s the most helpful thing ive been able to find. My son has just turned one and we are both ready to stop breastfeeding as he wakes 4/5 times in the night for comfort feeds. I don’t feed him in the day anymore which he doesn’t seem To mind. He only wants me at bedtime and during the night.
He will only sleep during the day if i feed him to sleep, in the car or in his pushchair. Otherwise he will scream until he gets my milk. ANy advise would be greatly appreciated please
I’m in the same situation. My son is about to turn 1, nurses to sleep for 2 naps and wakes 1-3 times a night for comfort feeds. Nurses to sleep at bedtime usually, but if my husband is home he tries to put him to sleep for me to avoid that. My issue is that my husband works nights so I’m not sure how to get my son back to sleep in the middle of the night without nursing (he will scream and try to RIP my shirt off….). I’m the first in my close family to breastfeed anywhere close to this long, so any advice is so appreciated!!
It can be tricky! I’d try some of the suggestions from the post. Keep in mind, you’ll have to try again and again, most likely. It’s a process.
I agree with so many others here. This is the most helpful article I’ve read. I’m struggling with weaning my 14 month old. She is only feeding wake up, before naps and before bed. But since I’ve started sticking to this schedule, she is requesting breast feeding constantly. It is really hard for me to say “no”. Sometimes she is distractible, and, sometimes, she just cries. Psychologically, it’s making it much harder for me to deny her. But I’m ready to stop pumping at work and at least move to just a night feed. I’m sure I’ll miss it, too. I just feel awful that she is wanting it more than ever and I’m reducing my feeds. I’m doing it slowly and respectfully. But it’s making me worry that Im harming her.
I love hearing that Erica, thank you!
This is truly a challenging transition! It’s really hard. It’s such a personal decision, and I’d encourage you to take some time where you can really think about what you feel is best. I really like using distraction and always having a water cup available for her and prompting them to drink it before they even “request” nursing. You’re a good mama, and it’s okay to take a step forward and then one back.
My son is 15 months old, we were on night time only feedings and I believe they we’re purely a form of comfort for him. I’m on day 3 of not breastfeeding and my breast hurt so much. They obviously feel full. Any tips?
I would actually pump a little, just enough to take the edge off! I’ve been there, I totally get it. Sometimes ice can help too if you can tolerate that.
My 16 month old sleeps through the night with grandma no bottle and doesn’t need to nurse, as soon as he returns home he wants to nurse before bedtime and throughout the night. Any advice?
Hey CJ,
I can relate and know how hard this transition can be! I would try to have someone else in your home put him to bed. If no one else lives with you, even a friend that can come over and even spend the night for a few nights. Breaking up the routine is very powerful. Check out the roadblocks listed in the article about nursing to sleep, as these can be helpful as well!
Best,
Desiree
When child wake up in the mid of the night and she only want to have breast feeding ?
facing difficulty in weaning breastfeeding
Definitely so challenging! Have you tried the steps in the post a few times, sometimes it takes a lot of consistency to get through:)
Hi there, I’m really struggling with my d.s. He is 15 months old, has been breastfeeding from birth. He rejects a bottle but will take a sippy cup stricky though the day. He wakes up still around 4 to 5 times a night for a quick feed it’s almost became his comfort. He won’t touch a dummy I’ve tried various snugs teddies blankies ect. Nothing works with him. I don’t want to force him to stop staight away as I know this would be a bad experience for him and myself. I have no other half it’s just me and my boys. My auntie took him for the weekend to see if she could help, she brought him back after a day as he kept her up all night Screaming! Please help!!
That’s a lot for sure! I’m sure you’re exhausted. Is it possible to wean away from one of these feedings? Is he eating well during the day, so his belly is full? Can you do a hearty bedtime snack so that you know he’s not starving?
Thank you so much for your excellent posts! My little one celebrates her first birthday in a few weeks and not long after I need to return to work part time. She has been exclusively breast fed and is also cows milk intolerant so we are both on a dairy free diet for now. She is doing well with solids and table foods and is/has consistently been in the 85th percentile for height and weight. I’m feeling quite anxious about how to manage returning to work and her starting daycare. I can follow your suggested schedule and advice post for weaning but wondered at her age if I need to express and give her EBM from a straw cup for during the day or if just transitioning to a water bottle and keeping up morning and night feed would be OK? If she did need EBM would you suggest I replace her breast feeds during the day with pumping? She can’t have cows milk yet due to her allergy and I’d prefer breast milk over specidlized formula just to give her that extra immunity support starting in daycare. I’d really appreciate any advice!
Thank you!
Hi Alisha,
This is a great article – thank you!
I have a question. I have a 13 month old girl who is now just taking two breastfeeds in morning and night (or 3 when she is not at daycare and i nurse her down to nap).
She isn’t very bothered about the morning feed so this is easy to phase out, my issue is she nurses to sleep at night and for naps. I’d love my hubbie to put her to bed like you suggest but she crys and last time we tried i had to come home at 10pm and nurse her. She is very use to him and he usually does the first half of the bedtime routine – nappy change, bath, story – and i finish off with nursing.
Any suggestions on how to wean her off the boob and get her to sleep? Should daddy keep trying ?? Its emotional for us all but i would like to end the bfing.
Thanks in advance any help appreciated!
It’s hard for sure! I would keep trying with Dad, and focus on the transitional object so she has something else to calm down with. Bring your dr in the convo if you have any concerns about her being hungry!
Thanks Alisha. As I’ve recently had to travel with her for 2 weeks away from dad we’ve had to put this on hold. But I’m eager to try again, the problem is she is waking twice in the night (around 1pm and 4am). I’m finding myself nursing her more to settle her back to sleep. Sometimes in the early morning particulary she is really hard to settle and I end up on the spare bed with her. At this point she falls asleep fast. So I’m now in a bit of a muddle over what to do to improve things. Should we still get dad to try bedtimes to stop that feed or should I be working on eliminating the night feeds? Shes obviously going through a bit of insecurity and needing the extra comforting, I dont think she is hungry as she eats well, but I could be wrong! Any thoughts on next steps?
It can be so tricky and is such a personal choice! If it were me, I’d want to focus on the middle of the night feedings first because I love my sleep, ha! I’d pick one to wean out first though either way.
Loved this article. I just saved it so I can used it for future reference. One quick question; I always breastfeed him to nap. What do you recommend on this case?
Hi Alisha,
Thank you for all of your tips! I have been enjoying reading many of your posts. I have a 14 months old who was not a picky eater at all. He would try just about anything and liked everything. We went to Europe about a month or so ago and while we tried to stay in airbnbs where I could cook, it wasn’t always the case. As such, I would sometimes try to give him some food cooked in a restaurant, but which he would eat had I made it. He ended up starting to mostly nurse again during that trip and would only eat what I prepared. Before leaving, I had started to wean him off a bit and he had started to eat sufficiently at dinner to sleep through the night. However, ever since we got back, he has molars coming in and some other teeth too. He is eating his meals regularly, but is not eating sufficiently at dinner to hold him through the night. Would you have any tips on how to handle the situation and have him eat more at dinner again? He also seems to become pickier even though I don’t push / pressure him to eat. For example, this week he mostly wants just pasta without vegetables or meats/fish. When he nurses at night, he nurses to eat and then falls right back asleep. I know that if I can get him to eat sufficiently to stop nursing during the night, then we can easily wean him off completely. Thank you for your help!
Hi Stephanie, I’m hoping things have improved a little as you’ve settled back into your routine. If not, I’d try and focus on routine as much as possible and keeping mealtimes positive. Try not to expect him to eat too much for a few days as you try and establish this again. Also, serve some foods that he really likes, more so than usual, just to get him eating again.
And, if he will, see if he’ll mouth on a cooled teether to soothe his gums before meals.
Loved your article!! You are the best!!! Thank you!
You’re so welcome! I’m glad it helped!
My 10 month old nurses to sleep for naps as well as bedtime. She still wakes up 3-4 times a night so how do I transition to getting her to sleep without feeding
I was looking for answers I’m a first time mom and I have no grandma support for advise on these subjects and every woman I know formula feed their babies…
My Hailey will be one next week and has been exclusively breastfeed no bottle I’m so very grateful for you sharing information and you’re personal experience going to take it as advise and give it my very best!
Thank you dearly…
Thank you for your suggestions. My son is 12.5 months old. I’m following your advice, but I have a hard time switching to cow’s milk. He is nursing twice a day (bedtime and morning) and he eats a yogurt (150 ml), sometimes he bites some cheese. I’d like to speed up the process a little, because I have to start a theraphy and I’m not confortable feeding him while taking medication, but at the same in my opinion he isn’t drinking enough milk.
At the moment I have tried four times to give him cow’s milk. He will only take little sips. Today I’ve mixed my milk with a splash of cow’s milk and little by little, with effort he had around 40 ml (1,6 ounces). Yesterday he didn’t want any milk. Sunday we gave him a bottle of cow’s milk, but he also had a hard time drinking half of it at breakfast. I’d prefer not to use him to drink formula from a bottle, because he’s already 1 year old! I’d like to switch directly to cow’s milk from a cup, but at the same time I can’t wait another month to finish weaning. He drinks water and other liquids from a open cup without problems, but as soon as he sees a white liquid, he refuses to drink. That’s why I have used a sippy cup. At least, after drinking the first sip of 75% mom’s milk, he has smiled, not cried!
I’d like to buy a specific cup for cow’s milk (suitable for microwaves). Do you recommend a sippy cup, a straw cup (I saw one but it’s for +18 months) or a open cup for cow’s milk? Any suggestion for my problem? Should I give him formula in a bottle or cup instead of cow’s milk, at least until he become used to it? If I pump milk after starting my theraphy, I’m worried I’ll increase milk production (which I don’t want, as I’m weaning).
Thanks in advance
Transitioning is so hard! I get it, sometimes this is one step forward and one back. I like to transition to a cup for all milk, and your doctor would likely agree that should be the goal, but you can take it slow and encourage you to trust your instincts so that you’re both comfortable. If weight or growing is a concern, I’d definitely get your doctor involved!
Love this post. I could not find much help on weaning and felt very overwhelmed when I decided I wanted to start. Having a strategy is just very helpful. She is down to three breastfeeding/bottle of breastmilk feeds right now at 12.5 months and she isn’t taking to cows milk. I tried mixing it with only 1/4 cow’s milk but I feel like I’m wasting so much breastmilk because she just won’t drink it. She loves water and breastmilk in her sippy cup but isn’t taking to milk. Do you have any suggestions? It definitely relaxes her to have her bottle before naps so it would be great to have something to give her. I may try water in a sippy cup before naps but water is fun and playful to her. Not relaxing.
One thing I’d try is putting the smallest splash of cow’s milk into her breast milk, does she notice? You could increase very slowly from there, once she adapts to the taste you may be able to increase more quickly!
I’m a little confused about “weaned by 12 months…” You say not to wean until 12 months, but to have a baby weaned “by” 12 months in this slow method, wouldn’t that insinuate that you’ve started before they’re 12 months old? I’ve been considering starting something with my daughter who is currently 9+ months. I wanted to go super slow to avoid any drama on her part or mine, but I feel like I’m getting mixed explanations from everywhere…
Starting around 9 months and taking your time is entirely your choice. Every situation is different. Most doctors and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend weaning at one year of age. This doesn’t mean it has to have happened by the time your baby turns one, just that they recommend that you wean them somewhere around that time.
Hi, I have a 12 month old daughter. I’ve been able to wean her off all daytime feeds. Trying to wean off the bedtime feed now. She has been ebf since the beginning. No formula at all. I’m trying to give her cows milk in the day now but she has very little at a time.
My problem is that shes been taking a LOT of night feedings. Some nights she feeds almost ALL NIGHT LONG. does this mean I weaned her too early? I can’t believe it could be constant teething. What am I doing wrong? And how do I make her feed less and let all of us sleep more?
Hmm, did you try blending the breast milk and cows milk when she’s drinking it from a cup? It sounds like she’s making up for those calories at night.
Hi. I have decided to partially wean my 10 month old as i am returning to work soon. I breastfeed morning and bedtime and give formula during the day. It it ok to give the formula during the day in just a straw sippy cup? Is there anything wrong with taking all their milk/formula from a sippy cup? My little ones drinks it very well from a straw cup- or should i be offering a bottle instead? Thanks in advance
There’s no developmental reason why they need to continue on a bottle, the only concern would be if they didn’t drink enough from a straw cup.
How do I re-wean a 22 month old who started breast feeding again when a new baby arrived? She is now refusing cows milk which she previously loved! She selfweaned at 15 months the first time round.
My baby is just 14months old and Its one week now since i stopped breastfeeding him.some times I feel bad when he cries trying to find the breast at one point I was tempted and had to breast feed him.what should I do.and he over feeds at night can it be controlled.
I think it can be really hard to go through this transition, and it’s fine to give in. My best advice is to trust your instincts and give him milk at his meals. I’d talk to your doctor as well, and consider when you’re comfortable weaning.
My 13 month old refuses both homo milk and expressed milk in a sippy cup (never took to a bottle either), but she will have her water or juice in a sippy. I have heard that milk is not the be all and end all for toddlers and it is okay to just give them water and make up for the milk with other dairy source. I would like to be done with breastfeeding, plus I am travelling soon without her! Thoughts?
This is definitely my personal opinion as well and most pediatricians will agree. I always encourage parents to follow their instincts, but follow up with your doctor regarding your plan.
Hi,
I am amom of 19 year old kid. My daughter always want breastmilk. Now it is like a comfort for her. Also she doesn’t eat much food. And people suggest me only once you stop breastfeeding her, she will start taking meals properly. She need breastmilk to sleep and in between sleep (daytime or night), she gets up for ‘n’ number of times for breastmilk. Even after a meal she comes to me for breastmilk. Sometimes before I tried distacting her from taking breastmilk by taking her out or showing something she likes. But in a minute or two she will start crying for breastmilk. She will not take formula or cow’s milk. And also I haven’t tried pumping milk yet.
I have read your post. Still I feel it will not be easy for me to stop breastfeeding my kid. Sometimes I feel irritated when she simply sucks the nipple. Please suggest me some solution to stop breastfeeding. Also I have plans to go to work asap.
I know this can be challenging! I would recommend starting to follow the suggestions provided in the post. It’s not always easy and takes a lot of consistently and patience. Be kind to yourself while you are starting this transition! 🙂
Thery helpfull article.I need help how to stop breast feading
my tweens.My daughters are 15 months old .And i stuck with a night feading.Maybe any ideas for tweens.the broblem is that I breast feeding them together because they are awake together.
Hi there,
Any ideas for my situation? I have a 10.5month old who only has only ever breastfed (never took to a bottle) and now my milk is seriously low, I don’t think he’s getting much at all. I’m only producing on one side and I can tell by the let down that it just isn’t much milk. He drinks water and eats foods well. I’m concerned about the milk/formula intake though as he’s still under a year. Should we be introducing whole milk in his cup now? I worry he’s not getting all the nutrients & vitamins that are in formula/breastmilk in the quantities that he needs for this stage. He also still wakes at 2/3 am every night for a feed – and I willingly give it to him as I’m wanting him to get as much milk as possible in a 24 hr period. Any advice please!
Thanks.
I would definitely check with your doctor, most recommend not doing cows milk until 12 months old. Your doctor may want you to supplement with formula, but definitely check with your doctor.
This is the most helpful article I’ve come across about weaning so thank you so much. I know you touched on timing being a personal decision however my question is, if I’m tryimg to be done nursing by 12 months, when should I start eliminating a feed? My baby won’t take breast milk in a cup or bottle but I will try offering it during meals more consistently as you suggested. I’m just worried that I’m not giving her enough breastmilk if I eliminate a feed during the day as she is currently 10 months old. I want to drop a feed every couple of weeks, hence why I was thinking of starting now. She eats table food really well.
I would definitely talk to your doctor if you want to start weaning before 12 months. The best suggestion will probably be to give your milk in a bottle following a meal. However, most doctors recommend waiting until they are one year of age, unless the child does it on their own.
Oh my goodness I wish I had found this earlier…. It would have put my mind at rest, such amazing advice here. I just have one question. I have been weaning bubs now for about a month and a half as I was worried I would get sore boobies, but now I am down to morning and night feeds only. Bubs is currently taking half a feed from me and I am topping up with formula, how do I know when to stop offering boobies? I don’t want to get mastitis (biggest fear of my life). Today is the first day she only got 5 sucks from me then a bottle. Boobs are a little tender tonight. Should I keep that up for 5 days (like I have every other change in feed) then stop completely? Any advice would be amazing =)
Sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job! I think if you continue on the same pace, you should be in really good shape. But I’d definitely check with your doctor too. In general, the slower you wean, the better chance you have of not having discomfort. I think mastitis is a pretty low risk at this point.
My granddaughter is 19 months and still needs to be breastfed once her mom comes from work
She enjoys it
I feel it is kind of attachemnt
My daughter claims she is not yet ready to wean her girl
But the girl is literally sitting or playing while feeding
She keeps on asking for milk which means her mom
Her daughter is a bit stubborn and i am afraid tit will be so hard on both of them soecially that it is so hard for her to fal asleep without breastfeeding and she refused her bed for more than 6 months now and sleeps beside her parents !!!!!
Do you think they are late
Will it be so hard for them
It’s possible it’s mainly attachment. To be honest this is such a controversial topic, that its really the mom’s choice. I’d encourage her to talk to her doctor if there’s any developmental or feeding concerns. There is still plenty of time to wean though:)
Hi Alisha, your article is fantastic such a great read! I’m really curious about weaning my 19month old. Do I wean him from breastmilk onto formula or cows milk? I only feed him twice a day now, He has 1 sleep a day where he also feeds to sleep and then again for bedtime where he will also feed to sleep usually. I’m so confused on how to stop I just want to cut out his day feed for now and keep his night feed but I’m not sure what to do.
You definitely don’t have to, there’s so many nutritional benefits to the breast milk- it’s really a personal decision. Some mom’s will pump and give the milk in a cup as well.
If you’re ready you can definitely take away the nap time feed, I’d follow the steps in the article for those times, they can be the trickiest!
My son is 15 months and has been exclusively breastfed. Now I have to go back to work and I’m having a hard time weaning him off!!! He drinks out of straw cups during the day but will not go down for naps or bed without breastfeeding. What can I do????
It will probably be different without you there and he’ll have to learn to go to sleep without. If he’s eating well at other meals you likely don’t have anything to worry about.
I know it’s scary though. You could also give him your milk in a cup before these times!
I have a situation no one seems to be able to help me with. My two children, 13 months and 3 years, won’t drink milk. They both drank breast milk from a bottle fine until 5 months (3yr boy) and 11 months(13 mo girl). Then began to refuse it. They were mommy or nothing at all! My son I weaned at 16 months and at the time he would eat plenty of other dairy products. Then about 18 months he began to be picky about what he ate. So much so that now he is in OT for picky eating. My 13 month old however has decided she doesn’t want dairy products (well she will eat cheese!) She used to eat yogurts and cottage cheese just fine, now nothing! I have tried cows milk and coconut milk with no luck. Also to note she won’t drink breast or cow milk from an open or straw cup. She will only drink water. We haven’t introduced juice at all. I even went as far as calling the cow/coconut milk juice. At first she seemed to like it, but now won’t take it. I am trying my son again on milk at the same time hoping maybe now was the chance. The doctors just say to keep trying. I’m ready to wean, but not if she won’t eat dairy. Tried warm/cold, different cups, other people giving with me not in the house. Any thoughts?
Thanks for this! Currently trying to phase out breastfeeding with my second who is a year. My trouble is she shares a room with her big sister and gets woken up by her occasionally. I just end up nursing her back to sleep. I’m kinda worried about how she’ll go back to sleep once we’re done. Ugh, I really wish we had more bedrooms?
You’ll get there, keep trying!
Hey there! I’m currently weaning my 12 month old and working on the before nap nursing. We have a routine and she’s great with solids. I’m just confused on if I should give her a cup with breast milk as if she’s still nursing? Whole milk? Snack? We just started mixing breast and whole milk for after her nap and water with meals, but maybe that should be switched? I’m lost!
Hi Nikki, I usually start to mix the milks, but its really your call. If you want to keep pumping you can keep her on just breast milk, I wouldn’t jump straight to cows milk though without mixing it first so her system has a chance to adjust. I hope this helps!
Hello! I have a complicated situation with my second baby boy. He’s a year and a half, so 18 months and I’m still breastfeeding on demand day and all night. I realize most of it is for comfort and he eats all of the food well. I am also co sleeping, he hates the crib and acts like it’s a punishment to be in there. How do I wean him and move him to his own bed? I’m stuck!
That’s really tough Nina! I’d start with using the steps in the post around day time meals. I don’t specialize in sleep, but there are a lot of approaches you can use like sitting in his room till he falls asleep, letting him sleep on just the matress, no crib, etc. It will take time for sure.
Thank you for the great tips! My daughter is 13 months and has slept through the night since she was 4 months. I have not slept through the night since she was born. I wake up twice a night to pump, if I don’t I’m in a lot of pain. I’m scared that if I stop the middle of the night pumping my supply will drop, but I’m also thinking it’s time. My only concern is I’m in a lot of pain that I can’t even get back to sleep unless I pump. Any tips would be appreciated.
I was there! I’d pump just enough to take the edge of and suffer through it for a few nights until I stopped producing so much. Hope that helps!
Hi Alisha, this is the best information that I have ever read on weaning!! Ive done so much research and always ended up finding info on extreme opposite sides of the spectrum. My son was late on being able to digest certain foods well, like grains, and at almost 20 months of age still has multiple food sensitivities, so he nurses a lot. But now he’s developed some of those picky eating habits you mentioned on top of continuing to nurse frequently during the day and also still waking a few times at night to nurse. Exhausting for me and I know it’s past time for me to do something about it. So much detailed info that I’ll probably re-read this article many times– you are a Godsend, thank you for providing such great advice at no cost!
Oh my gosh Cathy, you’re so sweet! It brightens my day reading comments like that. Thank you and wishing you the best – you’ll get over this soon!
This has been the most helpful post I have been able to come across on weaning from breastfeeding as well as your post on whole milk!
I’m currently struggling with my 15 month old. I’m pregnant and so exhausted with breastfeeding that I’ve decided to start weaning. Our biggest problem right now is he still wakes up during the night to nurse about 2 times.. some times it’s non stop. As well as with the habit of nursing to sleep. I try to rock him to sleep also but sometimes it’s nonstop crying/wide awake until I give in. He eats very well and has started drinking whole milk but still wants to nurse too. It’s like he’s never full! Lol anyways, any advice?
13 month old***
Hmmm, it may be more of a comfort at this point. I’d start with focusing on just one time to cut out- maybe the middle of the night. Can someone else besides you go into the room? Can you have a sippy cup of water available? I’d start by trying there. Try to just focus on small step at a time:)
Hey.. You mentioned every detail so precisely.. my baby boy is 13 months n I m really worried abt he to stop him from breastfeeding.. he is just addicted to it.. he is not having solid foods properly n always eager to breastfeed.. yr article gv many suggestions which I m excited to apply with him , hoping it really do work.. thank you so very much fr sharing ur experience.. ?
You’re so welcome! Good luck, I’d also check out yourkidstable.com/feeding-therapy if you’re still having trouble:)
Hi there, im pretty sure I have read most of your threads. Im having alot of trouble and wanted to see if you have anything that might help. My daughter is 8 months old, she will NOT take a bottle, soother, NOTHING! Im tired of Breastfeeding. Its also an all night thing. If it falls out of her mouth, she freaks out and wakes up. I’ve tried every kind of cup, nipple, quiet place, scent, EVERYTHING. Its just not happening. Water, Formula, BMilk from a bottle, Syringe, Spoon, Open cup, NOPE! If its not coming from the boob shes not having it. PLEASE HELP! I dont know what to do.
Sorry Lilah for the delay! It’s so tricky! Some babies never do take the bottle, I had one that did that. Have you talked to your pediatrician, my best tips are in the post:)
Hello 🙂 First of all I would like to thank you for the reassuring posts and all the small tips. My daughter (my first little angel) is now 13 months old, she was amazing with baby food starting from 6 months (she was having 3 meals, and breastfed mornings and nights). She loved eating food and ate all different types without any problems. At 11 months I started introducing solid table food. It started well but suddenly she refuses eating and became very picky, therefore she is increasing breastfeeding sessions which will make it even more challenging to wean her. Even sleeping patterns became worse. I couldn’t understand the sudden change of behavior but I came across the idea that it might be a regression phase because she is developing a lot of new skills like walking, talking and also linked it with teething, but it has been more than a month unfortunately :(. Now I feel stuck and very frustrated, I prepare 3 types of food each meal and I m confused on how to start tackling this problem as I also have a big problem with night feedings (she wakes up 2-4 times per night and has to be breastfed to sleep). I ended with problems in feeding, sleeping and weaning :$ all at once. I don’t know how to start at this point, should I start by weaning (my weak point unfortunately)? Do I have to in order to make meal time a better experience? I was planning to wait till 18 months but after reading your post I’m thinking of starting sooner. I m very overwhelmed and feel I m doing a lot of things the wrong way so I hope I can somehow reverse this soon as it is getting to me and affecting my patience especially with food although I used to be very open to experiment and cook new things. Any tips, links, methods to check would be endlessly helpful! Thank you in advance 🙂
Sorry just realized it’s a very long comment :(… First timer; I deeply apologise for this 🙁
Oh sure, no problem! I’d definitely look at transitioning to table foods and the 11-14 month old schedule, I think both of these will be very helpful. Take a look and let me know if you have any other questions! I know this can be really overwhelming, but take it one step at a time!
Very helpful, thank you! Any tips on how to have them drink cold milk? I am currently doing half breastmilk/half whole milk but if given cold he spits it out. . He drinks it fine when warmed though. Honestly I think he would be fine with 100% whole milk if warmed but would prefer to not have to warm it forever:)
I have a lot of breast milk leftover in my freezer that I do not want to waste. The shelf life in the freezer for breast milk is 5 months. What do you suggest doing – should I use up all of the breast milk and once it is gone then introduce my son to cows milk (combining cows milk and breast milk)? Or should I give him both breast milk and cows milk until I use my frozen supply? For context: my son will be 1 later this month. Thank you in advance!
I would continue to use the breast milk- that’s great and ideal actually! The last 2-4 weeks start to mix with cows milk!
How much cow milk and breastmilk?
These are great tips!!
I am trying to wean my 15 month old but due to a slow start with solids (a long list of food intolerances that she’s now outgrown) she’s unfortunately become a picky eater (we’ve been living by your picky eating tips to help manage meals!)
We are so worried about the lack of food she’s actually eating, which makes me worried about weaning… where will she get her nutrients if not from my milk?! Any tips would be great!!! Thanks 🙂
I’m so glad you’re finding help here! You definitely don’t have to wean, but make sure you’re combining her milk feedings with her meals or before bedtimes or she won’t be hungry enough to eat at meals. Also, if she drinks a lot of milk she might not get hungry enough. Have you seen my posts on transitioning to table foods, even though she’s a little older I think they’ll be really helpful!
This is one of the more helpful posts I’ve found related to weaning. Thank you! I’m about to start the process with my 11 month old – currently weaning from the pump at work – but for us I expect the tough one to drop will be the morning feed, right after she wakes up. I love the calm sleepy cuddles and she’s quite hungry so nurses for a while. Any tips? She’s good with solids, mostly table foods at this point, and uses both a bottle and a straw cup no problem.
Leave it as the last one and if you want you can take your time and let her have that last feeding until she’s 13-14 months. If you want to be done soon, can someone else get her up? And then have breakfast ready to go! I don’t think you need to rush though, unless you want to! Sounds like she’s doing great:)
Thanks for the detailed post. I am currently weaning my soon to be 12 month old and have used this post as a reference more than once. 🙂
Aww, that’s great, thank you!
any tips for middle of the night weaning? my son still nursing 2 times during the night and I tried everything from let him cry to offer bottles… nothing seems to work. He’s 6 months old we started the weaning process 2 weeks ago, during the day is going ok but during the night I can see will be a real problem.
Thanks
This is a tricky spot to be in, I know Ana! To be honest its probably gonna take some time, and if you’re weaning you may dry up. I’d try to wait as long as you can before going in, or consider sleep training and refuse to go in (not for everyone, just offering as a possibility.) I’d focus on one time during the night at first and trying to get him to that point. Also, if Dad or someone else can go in, that would probably help, too.
i think its time for me to start weaning. any tips if she wont sleep until she nurses?
I am interested in sleeping and nursing question too.
For my little one it just calms him down so well. We nurse in his quite room before sleep time. He has blanket and toy that help him fall asleep in his crib but he plays alot before falling asleep.
Just replied to Ami, let me know if you have more question Cherise!
I’ve been there! So, first, make sure that those are the last feedings that you get rid of. Next, pick the feeding that you suspect will be the least challenging to get rid of, usually this is before nap instead of night time. Then, like I said in the post, you’ll want to focus on a routine (book, rocking in chair, etc.) and offer nursing as the last option. Once the routine is solidified then you can start to try to just put them to bed- even if they’ve done that before. You may have to do some rocking or patting of their butt if they’ve never fallen asleep on their own and slowly pull back from that. Does that make sense? Also, if you have the option, have somebody else (that can nurse them) put them to bed- sometimes this is all you need to do. I know it can be scary to think about them falling asleep on their if they’ve never done it, but it is possible!
How do you maintain your milk supply when you get down to just 1 feeing per day? Are you pumping?
I think it depends Sandra, pumping would definitely help if your supply is low. Usually though your body just adapts, it produces what it needs and as you wean it will keep producing what the baby is taking, even if that’s just feeding a day.
Awesome article. I was nodding my head the whole time 🙂 You described my experience perfectly! My three kids weaned at 14, 13, and 16 months, and that bedtime wean was the one just for me.
Thanks Jenny! I’m sure our similar backgrounds played a role in how we weaned! 🙂
Again, great tip! I really love how insightful and helpful the information I found in every article of your blog. Even though, my daughter stopped breastfeeding couple months ago. I wish I could find this article much earlier.
Thank you so much Catherine! I’m so glad you found value in it, especially since you just went through this yourself.