I’m a little ashamed that I haven’t written this post sooner, as an OT, I have shared lots of baby and toddler milestone tutorials, including How to Wean from a Bottle. But, I haven’t addressed stopping breastfeeding, and how to get it done safely and appropriately, even though I have done it three times with my children that were exclusively breast-fed. My oldest, NEVER took a bottle, which was really stressful, and my third would only do if he had to.
Of course, I’m fully aware that this can be a bit of a controversial topic, which is probably why its taken me this long to write it. So, let me say, right now, very clearly, that this post IS NOT about when a mother should stop nursing, although I will share some general info on the topic. This post is about How to stop breastfeeding when a mother and child are ready. Women have many different reasons for wanting to wean at various ages. I completely welcome constructive and helpful comments, but let’s be supportive of each other’s very personal decisions.
When to Stop Breastfeeding
I know I’m leading with the when, even though I just said it is a personal decision, and it is. But, I know many of you aren’t sure when you want to wean, so let me give you some objective information. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for one year, and most American doctors would support that. At one year, a baby’s nutritional needs change and they no longer *physically* need breast milk, not that it couldn’t still be beneficial. The World Health Organization and UNICEF recommend until 2 years of age.
This conflicting advice leaves some moms unsure of what to do. I will tell you this, around 15 months of age, children enter a new cognitive phase and begin to make strong associations or attachments. Nursing to this point could make it more difficult to wean with some of the strategies I’ll discuss here, but certainly not impossible. I don’t say that to persuade you towards weaning earlier, but want you to be aware of all the information. While I also fully support mothers that decide to nurse longer, I will caution you to be aware of those feedings affecting consumption at meals. Some toddlers can handle having “nursings” throughout the day as they please and still sit down to eat their meals, but others fill up on milk and subsequently don’t transition to eating more food. That can be a slippery slope, as I’ve seen many times. If toddlers don’t get the practice and exposure to eating foods, sometimes they can become very picky eaters throughout childhood. If you continue to nurse, I would encourage you to treat meals as a priority as well and be aware of how recently they have nursed.
For a variety of reasons, I did decide to wean my own children around one year old. They were 14, 12, and 13 months, respectively. It was a gentle process that was not traumatic for my children in any way. I did not transition them to a bottle, because at those ages, they didn’t require one. And, if you are weaning over 12 months, I would recommend phasing out those feedings totally and not substituting with formula or milk in bottle or sippy cup at those times.
If you are weaning before 12 months old, you will need to replace with formula in a bottle or possibly a sippy cup. Check out my complete how-to guide for getting a nursing baby to take a bottle.
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How to Stop Breastfeeding
So how to do you actually start to end breastfeeding? Well, it is a transition, so there may be a little bit of dancing back and forth on this as you make sure both you and your baby are comfortable. If your baby is 8 months old or older, I would first recommend getting them onto a loose schedule, if they aren’t already. I’m not really concerned with specific times, but intervals or around routines. For instance, with my third, I always nursed him when he woke up from his naps, the time changed but that routine didn’t. That allowed me to plan our meals in a structured way as well, which gave him exposure to foods and helped him develop an appetite for food, too. (You’ll find links for sample schedules at the end of this section)
Once your baby or toddler is nursing at regular intervals and not on demand, you will choose one of those times to take away. This should be the easiest time of day, usually one of the nursings in the middle of the day. Typically bedtime and morning feeds are more difficult to phase out.
The first few days that you take away those feedings you will want to change the routine a little bit and have food and a drink in a cup ready to go. For instance, when I was taking away those after nap nursings. I would go into his room, pull open the blinds right away and start talking to him real silly to get him distracted. I’d pick him up playfully and take him downstairs (he typically nursed in his dim lit room quietly before going downstairs). All the while, I’d be saying, “It’s time for snack! I have your drink, too!” There were a few times where he whined and pointed to the chair he normally nursed in. I would try once more to distract him and if that didn’t work, then I’d nurse him. That is part of the transition. If another adult were here, I would have them get him out of his crib as well, which helped change things up.
Once I eliminated that first feeding, I would wait 3-7 days before I took away another feeding, depending on how slow I wanted that to go. Then, I would follow the same procedure. I would do that all the way until I was left with morning and night time nursings. Morning was always easier to get rid of, so I would make sure I had breakfast completely ready, so he could eat right away.
Personally, I always decided to leave the bedtime nursing for another month or so, but you don’t need to do that. That was more for me, weaning each of my children was a very emotional time, and I knew I needed to not rush it. Keeping that bedtime feeding gave me time to really take in those last days of our special connection. After about a month or so, I would make sure they had a really good dinner (serve a favorite food) or a late snack and then I would let Dad do the bedtime routine. In all cases, my kids just let my husband put them to bed, as if they had never been nursed, while I sobbed in another room. My children were fine, and I knew, for me, for us, it was time.
To sum up what we’ve just talked about, and fill in some blanks, when you’re ready to wean, you’ll want to:
- Take away one feeding at a time
- Eliminate the easiest feedings first
- Offer a meal instead of nursing. All kids should eat every 2.5 – 3 hours, count from the start of one meal to the start of the next
- Give a cup at each meal, and place either breast milk or cow’s milk in the cup. I prefer a straw cup (see how to teach your baby to drink from a straw). From an OT and mom friendly perspective, I love these cups in particular: Playtex Sipsters, Munchkin Flex Straw, and Advent Straw Cup
- The first time you give cow’s milk, mix it with a 25-50% blend of breast milk. This will help them adjust digestively and to the taste. After a day or two of successful consumption, you can continue to add less and less breast milk until it is straight cow’s milk or toddler formula, if you choose.
- Prior to weaning, give your baby water at each meal, which will help them get used to having a drink. Have water available throughout the day in a cup that they have access to once you start serving milk with their meals. Some babies will want to have both at a meal, which is fine for a short transition period.
If you are looking for more specifics on feeding schedules, click on the ages you need: 6-7 months, 8-10 months, and 11 months plus for samples. These, too, are just a guideline, but should give you some direction. Adapt them as needed.
Troubleshooting Common Breast Weaning Roadblocks
Although stopping breastfeeding can be as easy as I just made it sound, sometime parents hit some roadblocks. I’m going to run through some common ones to help you troubleshoot. With all of the suggestions below, know that it’s important to stay consistent and keep trying. All of my boys ended up loving cow’s milk, but it took a month or so before they were drinking it really well, usually by the time they were completely weaned from the breast. Keep in mind that once a baby turns 1, they only require 16 ounces of a milk source.
- Refuses a cup of any type:
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- Try and try again – every day, at every meal, put the milk in the cup and don’t pressure them. Offer it and even demonstrate, but don’t force. You can experiment with serving cold and warm if you like. If your toddler spits it out, that’s okay, it’s all part of the process.
- Try pumped milk – if you are willing and able, pump and offer that milk in the cup. It will seem foreign and some will likely be wasted, but some babies do better with the familiar taste.
- Focus on 2-3 different types of cups – cycle through a few different kinds of cups, maybe some with bright colors or a silly character on it.
- Water in a cup during the day – always have the water in a cup throughout the day. Give it to them in the car, in the bath, outside, wherever.
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- Nursing to sleep:
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- Change up the routine (as described in the previous section)
- Transitional object – if your child doesn’t already have a special object like a stuffed animal or blanket, start encouraging one. Give it to them every time you are nursing, put it in their arms when you lie them down. Every time.
- Well-fed – I don’t want you to overly worry about this, so many parents do naturally, but it will give you peace of mind in knowing that their tummy is full. Serve a later dinner that is a favorite or a bedtime snack, where you can give milk in a cup. Knowing their well-fed will help you feel better if they protest a little and they will be less likely to request nursing.
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- Crying:
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- Distract – while I urge you to not push your baby too fast, some will protest a little. This is when you’ll want to change gears and do something really exciting. I remember with my oldest, I always used to feed him on the couch in the middle of the day and I’d rearrange the pillows to support my arm. In the process of weaning, I started to do that just to straighten up and he saw me and thought it was time to nurse. He didn’t cry, but I quickly grabbed him and stood up, saying, “Oh my goodness, did you just hear that car go by?” We went over to the window to have a look and he forgot about it in a second.
- Offer another drink – without making to big of a deal about it, provide a drink instead, “Oh, here’s your water.” Notice, I didn’t ask, I just made a statement.
- Cuddles – give lots of these at other times, so they feel that connection with you still.
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Tips for success
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- Don’t feel rushed, watch for your child’s acceptance and adjustment.
- You may be emotional, this is normal. Make sure you are feeling comfortable with your decision.
- Don’t listen to other people’s opinions.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments, I’ll be happy to answer. And if you’ve been through this before, share your tips, it will be helpful to everyone that stops here.
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 15 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
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Hi i have a 14 months old daughter and she doesn’t eat any solids. I want to wean her off for so many reasons but she’s not ready for that. She drinks my milk day and night and because of that im bound with her. Tried to stop breastfeeding her during the day bit she cries and cries. Doesn’t like sipy cups at all. Plz help me as i don’t know what else to do
Hi Fiza,
Weaning can be such an emotional time for everyone! Weaning slowly (one feed at a time) is often the easiest on everyone. Distraction is often helpful, even if you are just putting off the feed for a bit. Instead of a sippy cup, you might try either an open cup or a straw cup. You can check out our guide on how to teach straw drinking HERE. I hope that helps!
Best,
Andrea
Hi! I’m glad I found this, we are down to the last feed with my 14 month old daughter, and I’ve started dropping it completely.
My issue is that she refuses to drink cows milk and also doesn’t like cheese! She’s not a fussy eater at all otherwise.
We are stuck with basically yoghurt for dairy. Is this an issue?
Hi Alison,
We’re so glad you’re here! It might be helpful to try to milk pumped breast milk with just a little bit of milk and see if that can help the transition. Then gradually increase the amount of whole milk. Every pediatrician is different! If your daughter still isn’t drinking whole milk, I’d double check with the doctor to make sure she doesn’t want to substitute something else.
Best,
Andrea
I can’t tell you how happy I am to have found this! I have 10 month old twins, and while researching it seems like there is two camps, the stop as soon as possible one or the nurse as long as possible one and I wanted to know what the 3rd option looked like! I feel like I can handle it doing it this way! Thank you
Hi Kelli,
We’re so glad you’re here. Weaning can be an emotional experience for both mama and babies and sometimes it’s helpful to do it a bit more slowly! You might also check out our Sample Feeding Schedule for 10 Month Olds for some more ideas.
Best,
Andrea
Thank you. I appreciated your balances and honest experience. Oh the biological and emotional and cultural pulls!
Hi Erica,
Thanks for reaching out! We are so glad you found the post useful!
Best,
Andrea
My daughter is of 20months old and i have started breastfeeding stopping process but she is not ready to accept this change, she is crying continuously from 3 days .She is neither sleeping nor eating properly. She has stopped to take her daily meal. Always looking irritated and fussy. I am very much tensed and not getting solution over this situation. I tried varieties of foods and drinks but it looks like she don’t have interest anymore .I visited doctor as well two times as she is crying very badly and it hurts me lot. I cant stop crying.please help me to get out of this situation. how my baby will get normal naughty like before?We are so much worried for her.
We know how hard this can be. I’d keep trying to make sure you are offering her the breastmilk (if you can) in a bottle or other drinking cup, to help with the transition. We’d also recommend having someone else there be trying to feed her, this can be really helpful in the transition.
Best,
Desiree
😖😓😫my son doesn’t even want to eat…now that i have started the process of stopping him from breastfeeding,he was eating all along untill i stopped some of his feeding time,i am so stressed so sad💔this breaks my heart and i hve no choice because i am about to go to varsity in a month….i am frustrated….i don’t think that i am ready to stop breastfeeding my son(16 months)😥😥😥this depresses me.i sometimes wish that i shouldn’t have breastfed him from the start i should have given him a fomular
Thanks for reaching out and sharing with us. We understand how hard this can be on parents and totally get it. You can try to utilize breast milk in the bottle if you haven’t already to get some of the nutrients in. It can be a transition period, so I’d keep providing the foods that you were previously providing and try to make sure you’re not showing your stress during the mealtimes as well. Model the eating and make it really silly for him.
Best,
Desiree
My son has always been a terrible sleeper – and I have comfort fed him during the night. Hes now 21 months old, and I am pregnant and due to that, my milk supply has considerably dropped like 80% but he is still feeding as if he is getting milk, which he isn’t currently. He has milk 3-4 times during night, once before nighttime sleep and once before daytime sleep.
He doesn’t self settle and has always breastfed to sleep.
I need help, my husband has a sleep condition so won’t be much help at nighttime but I really need some advice on how to progress getting rid of nursing him.
Hey Sarah,
We know how hard this can be! I’d work on trying to find another transitional object that you can start to use to help comfort him so you can start to ease away from the nursing. I’d also be working on the other tips in the article as well!
Best,
Desiree
So I only breastfeed my 10 month ok’d when she wakes up or whenI’m putting her down for a nap or to bed. How do I transition her from that?? She literally will have a meltdown and she is very stubborn and will cry and will not go to sleep unless I nurse her. Which feeding should I start removing? I know they say to not go cold turkey but she hast 4 teeth already and bites and I stop nursing and tell her know and when she calms down I nurse again. However I am at a point where me and my husband want to start trying for another but I can’t imagine nursing while pregnant and would like a break before next baby. She does co-sleep with us and does feed at night. I am overwhelmed on how to start
Hey Karla,
At 10 months make sure you are providing other breast milk or formula during the transition. I’d make sure to feed her close to the bed/nap time, so that you know she is not hungry. You will need to try to change up the routine, so she understands that it is different. And having someone else get her down to start sleeping will be a really helpful step (if able). I’d start with whichever feeding you find might be easier either naps or bedtime.
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
I’m not having much trouble getting my son to not want to breastfeed anymore I’m having trouble with all the milk my breast keep producing any advices? I feel so sick 🤒 it hurts my son was breastfed for 228 months non stop
Hey Esmeralda,
We understand how hard this can be. You can try to make sure to wear tighter sports bras throughout the day. Some people will express just a little to ease the pressure periodically throughout the day, until your body starts to recognize that you are no longer needing it. Some also say to place cabbage leaves in your bra (you can look into this as well). Hope that helps.
Best,
Desiree
My daughter is 20 months and I find it difficult to wean her. So I decided to go slowly with her by taking off day time breastfeeding leaving night time only.but I was told not breastfeeding her day time whiles breastfeeding her in the night will make her run diarrhoea. How true is this?
Thanks for reaching out! There are many families that have weaned during the day and only breastfeeding at night without difficulties. I wouldn’t be concerned with what you are hearing. Just make sure that she’s getting enough nutrition during the day. At 20 months, you’d just look at the food that she’s eating.
Best,
Desiree
I need help badly my son is about to be a yr old in a few more weeks I have done most the weaning but he refuses to tale a cup during nap and bed time everytime I try to he forces his self to throw up… I’m so stressed out and he keeps bitting as well and my boobs are sore
Hey Kenzie,
So sorry you are having difficulties. We know how hard this transition cam be! I’d recommend trying a straw cup with him as they can still get the sucking motion and sensory input from that. It can help them be interested in utilizing a cup!
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
My 3ys old still screams while I try to change the environmen.he walks behind me stand besides me wherever I go at home in kitchen in bedroom or wherever at home he comes and says only only one thing -“mumma dudu”.and literally it seems like crying to me as I was busy doing chores.i read that mom should provide comfort and cuddles but he hates cuddles.i tried carrying him pampering him but he screams like that I m guilty.then he sleeps while drinking milk and as I put him on bed he automatically grab breast and start feeding and he likes to sleep like that.nowadays he is trying more to grab my interest and easiest way he find is to breast feed.
We are down to three feeds a day after meals due to doctors orders for my son’s teeth, and he still refuses to drink from a cup at any other time. Our pediatrician has recommended fully weaning to “force” my son to drink. Does this make sense? I’m nervous.
To add: he is 21 months old and was feeding a LOT before. He used to take a little water from a straw cup but started striking a few months ago, which was no big deal when he was nursing many times a day. Now, not so much.
Hi Morgan,
Thanks for reaching out to us! It sounds like it has been really tricky to figure out the best way to get your little one to drink from a cup. You might want to try slowly dropping the feeds while working on cup drinking skills, especially if he doesn’t have any other way to take in fluids. Trying to keep the feeds spread out and on a regular routine might be helpful as well, that way he isn’t expecting to nurse at snack time, etc. Drinking from a straw can be frustrating for toddlers to learn how to do. We have a post dedicated to Teaching a Toddler to Drink From a Straw that might be helpful. An open cup with a little amount of fluid is also another great option to start with. I hope that helps!
Best,
Andrea
Your Kids Table Team
My daughter will be 15 months old and still nurses through the night (we do bed share). I get my husband to put her to sleep which is great but she will still wake up multiple times to nurse. This past week my husband has been staying with her in bed while I slept in a different room. The first wake up or two she will cry for about 5 minutes (while my husband is trying to console her) and then she will go back to sleep but then by the second- third wake up she will just scream! As soon as I come in, she will nurse a few minutes and go back to sleep. It doesn’t seem like she is nursing for the milk, more so for comfort. Please help with a way to get her to wean. I just want to sleep through the night!
Hi Kristy, just wondering if you got a response/solution for this? I’m in the same boat and I just don’t know what to do!
Hey!
For nursing through the night, I’d try to find another transitional item that is comforting for her. It can help to provide them with that item for comfort. Also, having someone else there to provide so she is not looking for the breast can be helpful!
Best,
Desiree
Hi, I will try a different transitional object besides the one she is using now. I’ve read many of the comments that suggest having someone else put her to bed/act as a distraction. Unfortunately I’m
Solo, so it’s just me which may be why this is even more difficult!
My 15 month old (and I) love nursing but I need to wean kind of abruptly due to recurring mastitis. I am home with him all the time and it’s just so sad and hard to say no to him. Any advice for quickly weaning? I’m not sure I have weeks unfortunately…I’ve been trying to just nurse him on the healthy side and pump to release a little on the mastitis side and today I am sick in bed all day with it so at least we are apart. Thanks!
Hey Lauren,
We know how hard this can be. I’d try to change up his routine and provide him with another comforting object. It’s hard when you are both together, we get that. I’d also have someone else put him to bed if possible so that his routine is changed up before the night time feeding as well!
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Once you had your last official breastfeeding session, what did you do for yourself to prevent engorgement, mastitis, etc.? My 12 month old quit me cold turkey after biting me and getting startled – was down to 2 sessions a day prior. Emotionally devastated, yes, but physically my breasts are uncomfortable. It feels like I am back in the early stages of engorgement when baby fed every 2 hours, but I don’t want to stimulate them, hand express, or pump just to relieve the soreness.
Hey Ali,
It can be hard to go through this. You can express, some just enough to decrease the uncomfortable feeling, it will make the process a little longer however some moms prefer this. Wearing tight sports bras can also help to decrease the milk production.
Best,
Desiree
Cabbage leaves inside your bra, dries you up faster and helps with engorgement at the same time!! It only takes doing it a few days and you only leave it in your bra while it’s coo from the fridge then switch it out or take a break. No need to wear it around the clock, a few hours away for a few days is all it takes
I need help to stop breastfeeding a CMPA baby that I cannot give formula or cows milk too (and does not get it from food sources). She is nearly 14 months old and until recently fed on average 6 times a day and 4 times at night. Dad now sleeps in with her. Won’t take milk (expressed or soya) from a cup, wont take hydrolysed formula from a bottle. I need to take pain medication on a regular basis that she is allergic too.
Hey Lyn,
Thanks for reaching out to us. I’d make sure to bring this up with your pediatrician to help provide some alternatives for providing her of milk that she’s able to tolerate. Then you can utilize the tips in the article with the “formula/milk” that is safe for her.
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Hi Desiree
Your article was a very interesting read thank you.
My 8 month old has bitten me whilst breastfeeding on more than one occasion and I am now anxious at every feed especially when I know his teeth are bothering him. I am trying to transition to bottle using my pumped milk. My husband is most successful at this at bedtime but he still wants more from me. I am thinking of introducing formula to see if he will take this but I just can’t decide wether to or not, I don’t really want to give up feeding him as I love it so much but I am so nervous most feeds and he can probably sense that too. I was wondering if you could help me with any advice on this and I am unsure of what sort of feeding routine this will create (how often etc).
He is also eating at breakfast, lunch and dinner times. Baby-led weaning. Any advice will be gratefully received.
Many thanks
Hi there, I’ve read your how to wean from a breast & bottle articles but I’m afraid I haven’t found the answer to our particular issue – My son is 11m old, & he nurses in the morning & has a bottle of formula at night. He self-weaned from the other daytime nursing sessions so he we rearranged his meals and snacks so he’s getting plenty of food (he eats like it’s going out fo fashion!) but he will not drink formula out of any sippy cup during the day for meals, but drinks water like a champ. We don’t offer milk any other time, only water, & have tried all his different cups, open & otherwise. I’m confident he’s eating enough (he gets lots of dairy in other forms & isn’t losing weight), but I’m a little concerned he maybe isn’t getting the total oz of formula he should be having every day. I have never pumped milk so that’s out of the question, but even though he takes formula from a bottle at bedtime, he just looks at me like I’m crazy if I offer it at mealtimes & just wants water. Do I need to focus on getting him to drink more milk? Or not worry about it? Thank you in advance!
Hey Charlotte,
Thanks for reaching out! We know how hard the transition can be! I’d reach out to your pediatrician so they can discuss the amount of formula he is getting in the day, as typically this is what they are relying on until 1 year of age, however he is 11 months and almost there! At that time the milk that they need does go down, you can read more about how much milk they need here. I’d keep offering in other cups and will say that a lot of kids do end up liking a straw cup, if you haven’t tried that yet!
Best,
Desiree
Hi, if I am looking to replace a morning breastfeed with a beaker formula feed and my 11 month old doesn’t take it, should I then breastfeed after or let her go without at this age? Concerned about dropping the evening breastfeed if she can’t/won’t take a beaker/bottle! Thank you!
Hey Katie,
We understand how hard this transition can be! We’d make sure to discuss any difficulties with your pediatrician. Also, if you haven’t transitioned to the bottle with the breast milk you can try that as well, as it can be a big transition to have completely different taste and way of getting it. After accepting then you can start to transition to the formula slowly and do a mixture and slowly increase the formula until she’s accepting!
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Thank you 😊
Thank you so much for walking me through the process! My daughter is my 1st and is now 1 year old and i was looking for the least stressful way to naturally wean her and keep things as positive and light as possible.
Awesome Alicia,
So glad you found our article and enjoyed! Happy you found some strategies!
Best,
Desiree
Thank you for writing this. I will definitely try to implement ypur tips. My son is 10 months old and has not slept longer than a 2 hour stretch since the day he was born. Waking up every 1-2hrs at night. I love nursing him and love that I am able to comfort him but unfortunetly I am just mentally and physically drained and I am also going back to work in 2 months. Do you have any suggestions on how to stop those night feeds? I will take it slow and have been trying to reduce the frequency and just rock him to sleep but then even though he is sound asleep as soon as I put him in his crib after 10 minutes he will wake up.
Awesome Talia, Hopefully our tips will be helpful for you! I’d keep doing what you are doing with reducing the frequency, to try to get here. If able, I’d try to have someone else feed him at least 1 time during the night as well, to give you a longer stretch of sleep as well as get him used to someone else feeding him. Hope all the tips help!
Best,
Desiree
I can’t thank you enough for this article. I have been so stressed about this entire process, because she is so reliant on nursing which does not allow me to have a break. She has eaten solids since 6 months+ with baby led weaning and drinks water regularly out of both an open cup and transitional sippy cup. She protests formula, every.single.time no matter who has tried to give it to her.
She is 11 months today, and I am using today as the day one of the weaning process.
Question: I have stored milk, so would you recommend using breastmilk in a transitional cup (even though, like you said, much of it surely will go to waste), on the recommended schedule you outlined? I’m thinking based on my research and your helpful article that’ll be a nice transition to cow’s milk in a month or so.
THANK YOU AGAIN for this article and all of your information! So useful.
Hey Laura,
Yes placing the breast milk in the new transition cup to get her used to it, without changing both too much can be helpful. Then you can work on mixing to slowly transition to the milk!
Best,
Desiree
Thanks for the help in this as I am breastfeeding my baby boy is now going on 16months and he refuses to leave my breast I only breast feed him when he goes down for nap times he refuses to go for any thing other than my breast at the nap times how should I go about weaning him off completely
Hey Lee-Anne,
I’d utilize the strategies in the article. Try having someone else lay him down for nap times to make this a new routine for awhile. Also, providing him with other comfort items, ie: blanket, stuffed animal. To help calm and soothe can be really helpful as well!
Best,
Desiree
Hello!
Thank you for the post! I only read through some comments so I don’t know if this was addressed, buti am in the weaning process with my 13.5 month old. During the day we don’t nurse anymore but the night time is a completely different story. She wants to nurse to sleep, then again at 3:30 am, 5 am, 6:30 am and then at 7:30 before she wakes up. If I don’t feed her, she sucks her thumb AGGRESSIVELY… not just to satisfy some oral fixation, but she sucks it really hard and even pushes on her elbow with the other hand. I honestly can’t stand that she does this. During the day she may put her thumb in her mouth every once in a while, but I distract her and she stops right away. If I try to take away her thumb at night though, she cries and doesn’t stop crying. I don’t know what to do. Do I just let her suck her thumb and hope one day she will stop? I have offered water in the night and it is a hit or miss, but mostly miss. Thank you for your time!
Hey Angelica,
We understand this can be a hard transition. It does sound like she is looking for a replacement. You can continue to try water, but possibly having someone else provide it to her, as when she sees you, she will want to be nursing. Do what you are comfortable with the thumb!
Best,
Desiree
We’re 1 week into the weaning process for my 12-month-old son. He’s usually a great sleeper, but since starting to wean he’ll only sleep for 30 minutes each nap, (instead of 90ish minutes). He wakes up from his naps hysterical (and still very tired) and won’t self soothe. Then he’s extremely tired and clingy when he is awake. He’s still sleeping through the night though. He eats solids really well and is drinking lots of water and a decent amount of cows milk too. He doesn’t seem to be begging to nurse either. I’m at a loss of what to do. Thanks!
Hi, my son is 14 months old and is «addicted» to breastfeeding at night. I’ve managed to stop breastfeeding him during the day, but when the night comes – it’s impossible. He WON’T stop crying after milk no matter what I do. My partner doesn’t want to help me to cut down on the night feedings because he think he is to small..
I just really feel hopeless because I have night shifts once a week, but I’ve had to come home many times to feed him because he won’t stop crying!!
He doesn’t eat much food during the day so I guess that he is hungry, but I seriously need help.
I feel like I’ve tried everything by offering him water, distracting him etc.
He also sleeps everything from 10-60 minutes before waking up crying for milk so I never get to fully relax when the night comes because I have to run up and down mulitple times from he goes to bed until I go to bed.
I really appreciate all the help you can give!
Hey Lea,
So sorry you are dealing with this, we know how hard it can be. I’d try working on him accepting a bottle (pumped breastmilk) for while you are gone, and so that your partner would be able to feed him and assist with the night feeds as well. I’d work on following through with the tips in the article as well!!
Best,
Desiree
How about night time feedings?
It is a huge sleep prop for my baby.
Do you think sleep training would help with eliminating those?
My baby is 10 mo, I don’t want to wean her yet. I just need to cut on the night time feeds as they interfere with her daytime feeding.
Thanks!
Hey! So I’d try to make sure that you are getting her full right before bedtime and working on having a different transitional object that is comforting to her that you can possibly provide to her at night for comfort, if you think that is why she’s waking up.
Best,
Desiree
I am trying to wean my 1 yr old it is very hard with little help , he starts daycare soon , I don’t pump anymore , I have tried whole milk , almond milk & toddler milk I am trying so bad but it’s so frustrating.
Hey Latifah,
If you still have breastmilk you can try mixing with regular milk (whichever kind you are looking for him to drink) start with 75% breast milk, 25% milk, then have him drink that for a few days, then increase to 50/50 continue for a few days and continue switching over with the milk. It can take some time!
Best,
Desiree
How many times a day should you offer this ratio of 75% breast milk to 25% whole?
Hey,
Thanks for reaching out! When you are making that transition doing that each time you are feeding her, so that she can adjust to the ratio. Then after a week, you can mix 50/50 and continue that daily until you are fully onto whole milk. Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Thank you so much for this article. I’ve been putting off weaning my baby since I know she is my last one (My 3rd). She is almost 13months old and I got a medical diagnosis today that i will be starting new medication and will have to stop breastfeeding. It’s very emotional for me.. Neither of us are ready to stop but I’m so glad I found this article to help me know where to start. Thank you ❤
Awww Elli, So glad you found the article to help you in your journey, and so sorry that you will need to stop, but know it’s best for you and she will be able to adjust as well. We get and understand how hard it can be to stop! If you have any questions along the way feel free to reach out!
Best,
Desiree
This article is by far the best one I have read thank you sooo much!!!
YAY… You are so welcome! Glad you found some support!
Best,
Desiree
Hi! We have used your resources for several months, from starting solids to weaning and more! Your perspective is one of the best we’ve found out there – so thank you! Could use some quick advice on trying to wean the bedtime routine nursing session (nurse, jammies, books w/ water cup, bed) for our almost 15-month old. It’s the only nursing session left, we seamlessly (and tearlessly!) cut out all others using your tips over a period of a couple of weeks a month ago now. Lately she has been super clingy, perhaps in some sort of developmental phase, and has gotten even more demanding for this bedtime feeding – when she gets distracted I try to just move to jammies and books but she says no no no and wants to nurse more and more. We have to distract her to end the nursing session, and she sometimes is very upset. We gave dad bedtime a go once and she screamed bloody murder when she was put down, which she never does. Would you recommend waiting til this phase passes before trying to change the routine (dad bedtime, cut nursing)? Or is this just how it’s going to be to wean this last one no matter what since she is now 15 months old? From Alisha’s experience it seems like it shouldn’t be so hard for any of us! Advice? Thank you!!
Can totally understand how hard this is and every child is different. At 15 months they are starting to rely on the nursing as more comfort and it is hard to end that last weaning session. We do recommend having Dad put her to bed, but try to change up the routine a little so that it is slightly different (different when daddy does it). Also making sure that she is fed in same position and that you (mom) are not near by. She would be able to smell you being close, which is harder for them to then focus on the bottle or dad putting them to bed. I’d also look for a transitional object you can provide her for more comfort.
Best,
Desiree
Thanks for this article, lots of great tips. My guy is 13.5m and I am trying to wean him off his 2 feeds prior to naps ( I have been nursing him to sleep). At bedtime my husband and I alternate and we have been giving him a bottle of breast milk since day one so that we could both take turns. We give bottle, then brush his teeth and he usually goes to sleep drowsy but not fully asleep.
For daytime weaning I am starting with the afternoon nap and on day 2. I have switched to a bottle just because I thought that would be the most gentle transition considering all that is happening in life right now (COVID, I will be returning to work, he will start daycare, he’s teething molars…). The plan was to wean off bottle in a few months. BUT the bottle at nap doesn’t seem to be working. he drinks it but will then cry and I can’t get him to settle. There isn’t anyone else that can give the bottle.
He is able to drink from a cup (water and milk) and a straw. I am wondering if I should be changing the routine completely/? I only have until the end of the month do this so feeling pretty stressed. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
PS just found this website and have used it a tonne in the past week, thank you!!
Hey Cara,
Thanks for reaching out! yes, I would try to change up his routine completely before naps/bedtime. And providing him with some other comfort object/item so that he can focus on that. Also, if anyone else is available to come over to lay him down for his nap (just while you are breaking that habit) can really be huge. If you aren’t in the room or close it can be helpful. There are more tips in the article for this as well 🙂
Best,
Desiree
Thanks Desiree — so to be clear, does the other person also follow a “new” routine (e.g. no milk to sleep)? I don’t really have another person available but will see if I can work magic.
Yes, changing up the routine will help them into a “new” routine 🙂
Best,
Desiree
I am down to one nursing feed, which is feeding my 14 month to sleep at night (routine prior to this is milk in a cup, story, sleeping bag, calm music.) I have tried putting her down awake, but she screams blue murder. The same with my partner. She will settle and go to sleep on him in our room watching tv (I know not ideal!) During the night I can usually settle her back to sleep with a cuddle or laying her is her cot and staying with her.
Hey Marie Lou,
We understand how hard this transition can be!! I’d try to have your partner be putting her down at night, and changing up the routine to make it a little different. You can also provide her with a transitional object to comfort her during this transition period!
Best,
Desiree
Help!
My situation is that my 14 month old girl is addicted to me & comfort nursing. I’ve been trying to wean her since late February and I thought we were making a little headway, till we weren’t. I have her completely spoiled. I missed so much time with my 1st being an Active Army Mom, that I’ve over compensated with my 2nd. We have co-slept since her birth and I have been her pacifier for everything! She drinks cows milk & water from sippies, she eats table foods & snacks, no bottles or pacies period, but she REFUSES to give up the boob. Although I don’t believe she’s getting much milk from them anymore (quit pumping in early March and tried to dry myself up, but her persistence wouldn’t let that happen completely), she will still comfort nurse throughout the day, if she’s teething, tired, upset, etc. Usually only a couple minutes at a time now, but she tends to go ballistic if I try distracting her and kidding the boobs from her. I was emotional at first, now I’m just desperate to be finished with her being so attached at the nipple!
Hey Carol,
We understand and know how hard it is! If you do have some help, when she’s demanding, you can try having someone else play with her for a little and try leaving the room to increase the length of time between when she’s wanting to nurse. I’d also walk through the steps in the article to see if one of those can be successful for you!
Best,
Desiree
Carol, your situation is 100% identical to mine with your 14 month old. Same age as well. I am looking for ways to wean. We co-sleep, I’m his comfort and pacifier, he will totally freak out until he gets the boob when he wants it, there is no one or nothing that can distract him from wanting it in some cases. He wakes numerous times through out the night just to pacify himself on me. Have you found anything that is working for you yet?
Hey Lacey,
So sorry you are having difficulties. Have you tried having someone else put him to bed? There are some other tips in the article, but being consistent is very helpful!
Best,
Desiree
Hey Lacey I am having the same exact issue my daughter is 11 months approaching 1 and she uses me as a pacifier constantly through the night I’ve been able to cut back the daytime nursing but at night is very very hard I don’t know what to do at this point!
Can I message privately and are u a nurse or a child practitioner of any sort?
Hello,
You can reach us by email at hello@yourkidstable.com. Alisha is an occupational therapist!
Thanks,
Desiree
Can i have help with thus please
Hey Salina,
Just let us now what your specific questions are. There are a lot of great tips/strategies to try written in the blog post first!
Best,
Desiree
Wow! Thank you for this article, it’s got some great tips in which has made me understand weaning a lot more. One question I have, I wonder if you can help me please. Not your every day situation but my little boy is 16months old. He’s great at eating and great at having water and will drink from all sorts of cups and beakers so I have no worries there. However he feeds 4 times a day. Once when he wakes up, before his morning nap, before his afternoon nap and before bed. The problem with that last 3 is I feed him to sleep. Always have done. We had some tricky situations when he was younger and this always helped. But now it’s proving difficult. We co sleep with him too. So when he’s due a nap I take him up to our bed, lay down and feed him, when he’s asleep I get up. He can go to sleep without me though, if he’s in the car or pram he will drift off happily and there’s been times I’ve been out and running late back so his dad has had to put him to sleep and he has but going forward I need a set plan. Like when I’m at home with him and need him to sleep what do I do? He just keeps trying to lift my top up. Hahaa. Would appreciate any help you can give. Thank you in advance.
Hey Jasmine,
Thanks for reaching out! We understand how hard this situation is. I’d work on the angle for when you have someone else at home and they take him up to sleep, especially since you mentioned that he does go to sleep like that. Getting into a habit of that, and he will decrease that connection of looking for you for sleeping!
Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Omg I could have written this exact message! Car and pram are easy for naps but in the house the only way she would sleep without boob is if my partner rocks her. I’ve got no idea where to start a night as I’m co sleeping at the moment because she wakes a lot through the night 🤦🏻♀️
Hi, thank you for this insightful post! My daughter is nearly 14 months and is not taking to the cow’s milk, she will have a few sips but is mostly drinking water from a sippy or straw cup. She is still nursing 3x during the daytime and if I try to skip a nursing to begin weaning, I am met with difficult protects (yelling leading to crying and stalking me, holding onto my legs or reaching into my shirt if she’s in my arms). It has made it very difficult to wean her and she is not easily distracted when I try. Do you have any recommendations or tips?
Hey Michelle,
So sorry you are dealing with this, we know how hard it can be! I’d follow the tips in the article to see if you can make any progress there. As for transitioning to cow’s milk I’d make sure that you are slowly transitioning with mixing with breast milk (75% breast milk, 25% cow’s milk) then decrease from there after she is accepting and use to it and do a 50/50 mixture and keep decreasing the breast milk for her to increase acceptance to cow’s milk. Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
Hi
Thank you for this wonderful article.
I am trying to stop my one year old from breastfeeding. She has never taken any bottles. Takes breastmilk before her nap and nighttime sleep or of she wakes up in the middle of the night. So far the nighttime breastfeed before sleeping time has worked smoothly. Biggest problem is she is waking up after 8 hours of sleep. Around 5 am. It’s too early to give her breakfast. What can I do ? Should I keep breastfeeding at that time when she wakes up? Or let her cry out ? Because she is having full supper in the evening so not sure if it’s for hunger.
Hey Thanks for reaching out! So glad you are having some success! For the waking up at 5am, it could be for comfort. I’d be trying to switch your child over during the day to a straw cup, so that they can drink milk from that during meals. Then I’d provide that for him when he wakes up, so that he still has something and providing that sucking motion is also soothing as well.
Best,
Desiree
My baby is 1year 4mnth n i have wean her n she eat normal food very well but one thing that is disturbing me is dat she use to be a chubby baby before but now dat I have wean her I just notice she is losing weight wat could be d cause
Hey,
Thanks for reaching out. I’d check in with her doctor to see if there is a weight concern. Most kids once they become mobile are burning more calories as well.
Best,
Desiree
Hello!
My son is 14 months, he will be 15 on 5/8. He never took a bottle which was quite challenging and is a HUGE fan of breastfeeding. We have offered him a cup since 6 months old and he is still not getting the hang of it. I decided that I would like to stop breastfeeding to give myself time before we start trying for baby #3. I started the weaning process about two months ago and within the last day we are left with the bedtime feeding and I hope to cut that out in two weeks. However, I’m concerned that he is not taking in any fluids and he is not consistent with meal time. We offer the cup at all meal times and he always has a cup of water available throughout the day but will not take it. He just chews on it. I even tried the bottle again. He likes to carry it around but won’t latch to it. By not nursing him, is he going to become dehydrated, the Mom guilt definitely sets in? Any suggestions, advice or tips are welcomed!
Thank you,
Alyssa
Hey Alyssa,
Thanks for reaching out! I’m not sure what cup you are utilizing but I’d try a straw cup, so that he can still have the sensory input from sucking on the straw as well. We do have an article on Teaching Straw Drinking So hopefully that helps!
Best,
Desiree
My daughter is 8mos She has never taking a bottle nor paci since she was born, she’s been drinking out of a cup since 6mos (straw) she doesn’t like baby formula (I’ve tried almost all brands) she refuses every bottle given, I’ve even tried pumping and putting it in her sip cup and she refuses to drink it, she doesn’t even sleep through the night. She literally wakes up every 3-4hrs like clock work. What do you guys suggest?
Hey Jessica,
From the post you are commenting on, are you trying to get away from breastfeeding. If so, I’d recommend having someone else there to feed here while you are at least rooms away. It is hard for kids to separate form the breast feeding, especially while you are there and offering in a different form. There are also some other great tips in the article.
Best,
Desiree
Hi am pauline
My son is 14 month old, we’ve successfully gotten off day time sections but night time is difficult.
He cry much at night and wouldn’t accept any drink, water or milk at night.
Am so emotional even when I sleep away from him, he will cry till hubby will bring him to me or I go for him.
Help please.
Hey Pauline,
We know this is a hard time for transitioning. When your husband is trying to feed him make sure that you are not near so that he’s not smelling your milk. I’d try to offer him milk prior to him starting to cry to see if you can drift him off to sleep as well. So, if he’s waking up at the same time, this may be helpful!
Best,
Desiree
hi,am cynthia my baby is 11months he does not eat he hardly sucks breasts my mom told me to stop breastfeeding him so that he will start eating pls i need ur advice.
Hey Cynthia,
We are here for you! I’d suggest starting with our free workshop as this will help provide you with how to transition to foods as well as things to look out for that may be difficulties and how to address them. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hi my name is Christina I’m trying to cut out breastfeeding and I’m down to nighttime feedings the only problem is I allowed myself to let my little one cosleep therefore almost consciously feed throughout the night what do I do with this situation my little girl is 15 months old.
Hey Christina,
We understand where your coming from and this can be hard. If she is nursing during the nigh for comfort, I’d try to find a replacement item that is comforting for her to replace the nursing.
Best,
Desiree
Hi my son is 14 months old now. He goes to nurserey two days a week and dosnt drink any milk through the day he happily eats plenty, however he is at home he will nurse to get him to sleep once in the afternoon and numerous times through the night and to get to sleep on a night. It’s been a real struggle to get him down to just nap time but I honestly do not know how to get him to stop completely what makes it so difficult he will not sleep for me in any other way at all other than nursing, please help me?
Hey Rachael,
We know how hard this can be! Does he sleep for nap at the nursery? I’d try to replicate anything that they are doing there. Also at home is there anyone else to put him to bed without you being near, just for this transition period. When you are near he can smell your milk which makes it harder to break with you right next to them. There are some other tips in the article too!
Best,
Desiree
Hi Alisha…plz write a detailed article for night time weaning coz that isn’t easy and need tips and tricks to do that…!
Hi, my little one is 13 months now and I im struggling with weaning her off at night…initiallybibthought was going well as husband would put her to sleep with a bottle and she would be knocked out but she wakes up halr wau through the night wantong to feed on me…. even if i offer her bottle instead sh3 refuses… 🙁 its malong it very hard for me amd emptional to… but I really am ready to wean her off beacuse when she wakes up in the night she is just stuck to me ;(…please help 🙁
Hey Anayah,
I know how hard this can be!! You’re doing great with having your husband put her to bed to help wean her off. I’d see if your husband is able to check on her at night/offer a bottle to break the cycle of breastfeeding at night. I know it can be hard with work schedules/sleep, but would only be for a period of time!
Best,
Desiree
This is what I am struggling with too.. My daughter is 14mnths and, recently started waking up around 4am – 5am crying for milk, I dnt if its bcz teething? I’m due back to work as really nervous and emotional…
Thank you so much for this article too though, honestly some things u wrote js connected with me and I was, like omg… Someone out there understands….
My daughter is 12 months old, at six months I have tried introducing other food to her, she just doesn’t like any. I want to wean her but it is really impossible. She sucks 4 to 5 before day break. I don’t know what to do
Thanks for reaching out!! First I’d suggest our Free workshop if you have not watched it before, it really talks you through setting up a mealtime and how to offer foods to be successful with that transition. You can save your seat HERE Secondly I’d look at a good feeding schedule to see if you can change the schedule up to get her accepting to more foods rather than milk. You can read all about scheduling for her age HERE
Best,
Desiree
Thank you! This is so helpful. Your whole site has been a great help to us.
Awesome, Thanks so much for your feedback Courtney 🙂
Hi, I just stopped my child from breast milk and my breast is so heavy and painful, am asking is there anything you can recommend for me to stop the pain…. Thanks
Night times are so stressful and makes me tired all throughout the day. How to stop feed during sleeping at nights?
Hey Sonu,
I know how hard this can be! I’d make sure you are changing up the routine and trying to provide a transitional object for you child to go to sleep so they are able to get themselves back to sleep without needing to nurse. Also, trying some of the other tips in the post as well!
Best,
Desiree
Thank you for this. Hoping to nurse longer but pregnant again so may need to wean my 13 month old sooner than expected. Depending on my convo with doctor.
My son goes to daycare and ears breakfast there between 8:10-8:30. We currently nurse at wake up, sometimes for comfort after getting home from long day (if he asks), and before bed. If I do cut the morning session, should I do some cow’s milk in a cup right away? With a small snack? I feel bad making him wait from wake up to daycare for any nutrition since he’s so used to it, but don’t want to do a full breakfast at home.
Thanks again!!!
Hey Liza,
Thanks for reaching out! Depending on the time frame between, you can try it out and see if it does interfere with his breakfast and how to proceed, so I’d ask them to keep an eye on what he’s eating at daycare and adjust accordingly from there!
Best,
Desiree
I also was having hard time during the day as my my 8 month old would be feeding all night but I recently weaned him off. Alisha Grogan has explained very beautifully how to wean them but for me that way takes a lot of courage.so I stop completely and and it takes my kids 3 days and nights.i let another adult feed them bottle even though it’s a battle time but at the end it works.my youngest took the longest as I fed him once at night and it made him start battling again so it’s good to stay strong and not offer at all.only keep offering water in a bottle or milk at last he will start.my son started bottle on 5th day but I kept feeding him meals before offering water or milk.Today is 9th day and he took bottle at 11pm last night and 6am today.good luck
Hello,
I just found this article which is really helpful. My son will turn 2 years old in 15 days and i am still breastfeeding. I have faced so many difficulties, have had really hard , stressful days but have kept on going and feeding him tears in my eyes and pain in my body. Recently i have tried one method to see if it’d work, and it did, my son refused drinking milk, which was sooo heartbreaking for me, i felt like someone took him away from me, i started begging him to come back and drink. There i understood that i was not ready to quit. But now anyhow i should start doing it slowly. My question is if he wakes up at night with the demand of having milk, what should i do? He doesnt like drinking any drink other than plain water, even in a day he never drinks any fresh juice or the like, only seeing the colour he refuses to drink, and to note also that he is a very picky eater. He sees the food , touches, feels the texture, if he doesnt like he will never gonna eat it (((. I cry at times. I feel so helpless in this.
Hey Thanks for reaching out! So glad you found our article helpful! I’d really focus on decreasing one feed at a time. Once he seems to be getting used to this you can try some of the other suggestions for when he wakes up at night such as cuddling and trying to find another transitional object. Making sure he is eating enough before bed can be really helpful too!
Best,
Desiree
My daughter just turned 1 and I know she’s not supposed to take bottles anymore. She has only ever taken a bottle when she has a sitter but I’ve got an overnight outing coming up. Should I have the sitter switch to sippy cups cold turkey? She’s still nursing 4x a day while with me.
Hey Ciara,
I know it can be hard!! We do have an article that helps with tips on getting rid of the bottle. You can read all about it here.
Best,
Desiree
I think you misunderstood my question. My daughter is breastfed and only takes bottles when I’m away, which isn’t very often but I have a wedding coming up. The sitter will give her bottles at times when she’s normally breastfed. I know bottles are unhealthy past 1… if I’m still breastfeeding should I still have the sitter give bottles when I’m away or switch to the sippy? Or does it not matter since it’s a rare occurrence anyway?
Ah Ciara, I’m sorry! So if it’s just this rare occurrence and you haven’t switched to sippy cups yet, I’d say the bottle would be okay to use and you can switch after to make sure that she is still getting what she needs 🙂 Generally they form an attachment that is strong at around 15 months, so I’d try to make the switch prior to that if you are comfortable as this time may be easier!
Best,
Desiree
I planned to stop feeding my one year old baby. I had not feed him whole day, but he was demanding me now,shall I feed him the millk,does the stagging milk affect him.,ie itcauses any dysentery
hi
I found this article which is in need of the hour for me. I have 15 months old baby. During the day time, I have stopped breastfeeding. the problem comes in the night. she is not sleeping on her own. she only sleeps with the help of breastfeeding. And not taking any liquid form during the entire night. During the daytime, she eats, drinks water normally. I am taking this process a slow one. But she is not cooperating. I really need to stop.
Hey Priya,
Yes, taking it slow helps! I know how hard this can be!! Keep up with the suggestions in the article 🙂
Best,
Desiree
Very helpful for a first time mum here! So thanks! 🙂
My little girl is 11.5 months old. We currently breastfeed 3 times a day (morning, after lunch nap, and before bed). She LOVES a bottle, even though she only gets one on weekend mornings when she is with my husband whilst I am out for her usual morning feed. She loves it so much that she gets very upset when the bottle is taken from her once finished (even though she drinks FAR MORE from it than what she would be getting from the breast). So we are actually wanting to skip the bottle altogether now that she is nearing 1 as we feel that her love of the bottle might cause more problems down the track when we try to wean her off that. Unfortunately however, she won’t drink milk from anything other than a bottle or breast. She certainly uses all kinds of different cups to drink water from all day long, but wont use them for milk. The last couple of days I have stopped giving her after lunch breastfeed, and given afternoon tea straightaway instead and offered milk in cup (refused). So my question is, since we don’t want to use a bottle anymore, is it okay that she skips the milk all together if she refuses when we offer it to her in a cup? Ofcourse, she would get solids. I was just a bit confused as one part of your article mentions not replacing with milk in a cup, but the summary says to offer it. Thanks 🙂
Hey Joanna,
So happy you loved our article and glad that you received some useful information in there! I have included a link for an article for How much milk a toddler needs This will help guide you in how much she still will need for 1 year of age and up! It still is an important role, so I’d try to find a balance while transitioning away from bottle/breast!
Best,
Desiree
Hi! Very useful tips. I wander what happens in our bodies… breasts become hard and sore when full of milk. So, once you decide to wean, how do you deal with this pain? How long does it take until our body stops producing any milk (from the last breastfeeding)?
Hey Mireia, Everyone is different, however if you are making this a slow process and not quitting all at once, you body recognizes that you are needing to produce less and starts decreasing amount that you have. So over time it will be less painful (if at all) when you stop completely!
Best,
Desiree
My daughter is 18 months and is breastfed. Right now she won’t drink breast milk from anything and only wants the breast. I’m nursing her morning, evening and bedtime.
Hey Keisha,
I know how hard this can be!! If you are looking for tips for helping your daughter transition to a bottle you can read all about that HERE. If you are also looking to move away from breast feeding, I’d try the suggestions in the article!
Best,
Desiree
Hi I have a 15 month old boy whom I have managed to stop breastfeeding during the day and before bed, however he wakes up at least twice at night and wants to feed or else it’s a scream fest.
How do I get him to stop these feeds?
Hey Dee,
I know this can be a difficult time. I’d make sure you are trying the tips in the article. Also making sure he is eating enough before bedtime so that he is full. If you know that he is full, you can try to provide some water in replace of the milk.
Best,
Desiree
Hi
My baby is 1year 8months I just stopped breastfeeding her. She always cry at night want to suck and I’m not allowing her.. I wanna know should I be giving yogurt or something when she wakes up at night. Coz she never wanted a bottle. Thank you
Hey thanks for reaching out! Depending on what your child is able to do, you can always try a sippy cup to give her a drink if she needs it. Or if you think she is waking up because she is hungry, make sure that she gets a bigger dinner to hold her over throughout the night!
Best,
Desiree
Thanks for posting this! I’ve been reading everyone’s tips & tricks for weaning online, in hopes to get through it smoothly. My 14 month old girl only nurses at night now. And I’m ready to start taking that feeding away too (are you ever REALLY ready?) I think it’s a great idea to have dad do the bedtime routine to keep her from missing the breast. But for how long?? I’m curious when you started doing bedtime routine again? Cuz he obviously can’t do it forever. And how did it go when you returned to putting them to bed without nursing?
Hey Jamie,
I know this is SOOO hard!! And I do not think a lot of us our ready! It’s really going to depend on your child and how quickly they adjust. If your husband notices she is going down easily after a week and is not looking for nursing you can give it a go!! Keep us posted!
Best,
Desiree
Thankyou very informative article. I am a mom if two girl the younger one is 1 year old she doesn’t know about bottle means exclusively breastfeed but all of a sudden I got pregnant and my OB is not allowing me to breastfeed 🙁 … But my baby is not leaving she eat everything but she want me after every meal its a very amazing kind of attachment between two of us and I was lonely about doing this to her but after reading your post I found some positive ways and I am happy to found it. Thanks
So happy you found us Fali!! We hope this helps you in your journey!
Best,
Desiree
I’ve tried bottles, 3 different kinds of sippy cup, straws, an open cup, I’m at my wits end.
He will not drink from anything but the breast. He’s 1 year old. My wife has gone back to work and I’m staying home with him. He’ll feed from her before she goes to work and then will not drink ANYTHING until she gets home after work. Including travel we’re talking somewhere between 9 and 9 and a half hours with NO liquid intake. He gets warm/sweaty and is obviously getting dehydrated as the day goes on and just slowly gets worse and worse.
I haven’t swapped these methods quickly or anything, I’ve been trying this for almost two months! He just refuses to even open his mouth for anything but the boob.
Hey Mike,
We are so sorry you are dealing with this, as this can be frustrating! If you have tried the suggestions in the article and nothing seems to help, I’d make sure you are reaching out to your pediatrician to make them aware and have them offer suggestions specific for your child. I’d also maybe reach out to try to have a feeding evaluation, so that you can have suggestions provided by a therapist that is able to see what is happening. This article helps to cover therapy choices HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hello
Sad to hear it.. But try to take your baby outdoors and try to feed him in garden… Or else take him to friends place where his age babies are there.. Looking at them may b he will try to eat…
my daughter is 19mths and i have been wanting to stop breast feeding for a min now she goes to daycare and has had an overnight stay at babysitters so far and they have no issues but when I am around she demands it i am able to distract her most of the time but night time feeding is the one we struggle with we co sleep sometimes as well so she is right next to me and will be looking in her sleep for it, I’m honestly not worried about the day feedings i just dont see how to stop the bedtime ones she also wants to be fed for naps only when im around though she is perfect for everyone else.
HI!!
Yes, this can be very tricky and I can relate!!! It is a hard battle, but as you can see she is able to fall asleep when you are not around. Changing up her routine in the home, as well as trying to find a comforting transitional item can be helpful. Also, I’d look for someone in your house that can put her to bed for a few nights to break up the routine (or have someone come stay with you) so that she breaks that cycle!
Hope this helps, Keep us posted!
Desiree
Hi thank you for the article. My daughter is 11 months and we’ve dropped the 2 midday feedings and replaced with a bottle of bam or formula, but she doesn’t do as well with them, only eats 4-6 oz before refusing. Also, how do you go about dropping the morning feeding? My breasts are very full first thing in the morning, so how do you help your body adjust without being uncomfortable?
Hi Amber,
This definitely is an adjustment, so we can understand how hard this is! For the morning feeding you can look at trying to decrease the amount of time on the breasts to slowly decrease the amount. So if she nurses for 15 minutes, try 10 and slowly decrease from there so that you are less uncomfortable, and she is able to get some of the nursing in, however then have a breakfast as well afterwards to get her full nutrition!!
Hope this helps, keep us posted!
Desiree
This was sooo helpful. Thank you! My daughter is almost 15 months and I’m on day 5 of dropping her middle of the feeding. Going to try and drop her morning one hopefully next week and go from there with the bedtime one a few weeks after. Thanks so much for the help!
Awesome!! Keep us posted!! Happy you are loving the information 🙂
Nicely explained
I want to know how to sooth crying baby in night and demanding breastfeeding only. My baby 1 and half yr old. Wakes up crying 5..6 times at night . Not even allow dady to take her.
I totally understand this can be very tricky during the night. I would try to be looking for a comfort item that is introduced during the day that you would be able to use during the night ie:blanket, small soft object, etc, this can help to replace the comfort nursing, but continue to cuddle. Also, how long has your husband tried to comfort her? Often they will make that connection that Daddy isn’t able to nurse and will calm quicker. Hope this helps, Keep us posted!
Thank u so much
Will try this
Thank you Alisha… It’s really helpful as today i am just starting to stop my child to breastfeeding… She’s of 15 months but she mostly reallyon mother feed… It has been very painfulfor me specially at night, after reading your article i got some courage to make her avoid orherwise i was feeling embarrassing n getting emotional about it…
There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m so happy the article has helped you. Remember it’s a process and using the tips in the post will help.
I love your website!! And this article was very helpful!! I just wanted to clarify, you mentioned that but after 12 months toddlers only need 16 oz of milk a day. So it can’t be either breastmilk or Cows milk until she’s is weaned? So it’s ok to only give her 16 ounces of breastmilk?
12 oz is what the AAP recommends, but I’d definitely check with your doctor. Most young toddlers need a transition period and being over 12 oz is usually okay.
Hi! I am 4 1/2 months pregnant and I have a 12 month old little guy. The issue I have is that around 2 months ago my milk dried up and which time I got my little guy adjusted to taking bottles. However, the comfort nursing has remained. I’ve eliminated random nursing for the most part. The only time I really let him comfort nurse is right before a nap 2× a day (He doesn’t nurse after waking up, just before to fall asleep), to go to bed and throughout the night if he happens to wake up. And in the morning if he is still tired and is trying to fall asleep. I feel sad because he just isn’t ready to give up our nursing moments. But it’s also hard on me because I am sensitive and my breasts are hurting at times. Anytime I try to not nurse he has a huge tantrum moment. How do I wean my little guy. He loves bottles, foods, water. He can drink from any cup or sippy cup. He just wants the connection I think.
I know it’s so hard, especially when your pregnant! I think it’s a personal choice, and I’d encourage to follow your instincts on stopping, but giving him a transitional object and snuggle time could be really helpful. Check out more above for other ideas:)
Help me!
I go back to work in 3 weeks, and have EBF my 11 month old until recently.. The last few days I have tried dropping her feeds before naps, and am always offering cows milk through the day. She will drink here and there, but not nearly enough. I then nurse her before bed, and 2-3 More times through the night. Am I on the right track, or should I nurse through the day because she is refusing to drink the cows milk..?
She is self fed, and eats solids very well. Advice please!
Well, that depends, she’s just at the age to start this so she might just need a few more weeks. I would still nurse her during the day if that fixed the sleeping issue. I’d focus on creating meals out of the nursing so she isn’t snacking on you all day as well, this will help develop her appetite. Have you tried putting some pumped milk in with her cows milk?
HI, my baby is 1 years old and does not want to fall asleep without breastfeeding. I am trying to stop breastfeeding but this seems to be the only roadblock because this is the only time she wants to feed.
I’m having the exact same issue as Tyler. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!
I know this can be so hard, if she is just 12 months you have some time, a couple of months, but if she’s older or your ready to be done, then it can be really effective to have someone else put her to bed. You could try a bedtime snack so that her belly’s full if you’re worried about that aspect.
My daughter is struggling to wean off of nursing. she will be 13 months on the 9th and I am over breast feeding. I need her to sleep with a full belly she sleeps through the night. She refuses to take a bottle from me, always has. She likes her almond milk but never drinks enough to help fill her up. I am a single mother so there is no dad to lay her down at night so i am really struggling with how to get her to sleep without the assistance of someone else. Any suggestions other than that? every blog I’ve read says have dad lay them down, what about the single mothers?
Absolutely! I get it. It’s possible that you could give her more of that almond milk right before your bedtime routine and then not offer her breast milk at all, there’s a good chance she’ll just go to sleep and still sleep through the night. Another option is to have a family member or friend come over that your baby is comfortable with for a few nights.
Hi 🙂
I am breastfeeding my one year old and just found out i’m pregnant again! I need to wean him ASAP because its too much for me to keep up with… im having a lot of weakness and im CRAZY hungry all the time! How should i go about with this? Should i just stop completely and see how that goes? Any suggestions?
You could try that, but it may be really uncomfortable for you. You can wean him in about week though, or even less using the steps above!
Hi, my son is 15 months old and wakes up like 3 to 4 times at night to breastfeed. After feeding I have to pat him to sleep as he doesn’t go back to sleep on his own. I am really exhausted and want some tips. My husband have a late night job so he can’t help me that much.
Hi Saba, I understand. Have you tried the tips in the article yet?
Hi, please help me!! My little boy, who is turning 2 years old this week, is still breastfeeding on demand. I’ve had so much trouble getting him to eat solids, everyone in my breastfeeding group told me he would get over it and start getting more interested in food but he barely has. He’s never been interested in putting much things in his mouth, not even toys. He has never even allowed me to brush his teeth no matter how many times we’ve shown him by example. I think straight down he doesn’t really like to put “weird” things in his mouth.
He eats terribly, he refuses to even try foods and sometimes just drinks water, milk or juice. He still only likes yogurt, marshmallows, and a very few foods but I couldn’t exactly call them favorites because even though he sometimes eats them and tastes them like a champ, most times he won’t even look at them. There are days when he doesn’t eat solids at all. I’ve been preocupied for this for a while and I’ve surfed your blog and found out I actually do most everything wrong because I myself have an awfull relationship with food. I never sit to eat, I don’t have a schedule, I sometimes starve and sometimes eat just for confort even when I’m already full. I’m trying to change for him of course and to change things at home so he’ll have a normal relationship with food and grow up and develop. In my country there is no such thing as Feeding Therapy except for kids with disabilites and even then it’s quite expensieve. Despite everything he is growing at a normal rythm, he is tall for his age and he is super smart and just a happy kid. I think breastmilk has somehow aided to his growth but still after reading this I think it might be also the reason he doesn’t eat that much. Where do I start? With the “Eating Basics”? With weaning? What favorites do I include in his meals if he has none he will eat consistently except for chocolate covered marshmallows?? (If it was up to him thats all he would ever eat)…. help please!
I know it’s so hard, I wouldn’t beat yourself up, as hard as that is! It sounds like he had some underlying difficulty going on with eating which is why he’s still dependent on breast milk. However, it’s kind of a catch 22. I’d try to keep his feedings on a schedule, preferably after meals. I’d also read how to transition your toddler to table foods, that is going to have some specific advice for you!
hi thanks for advise i will try it cause i was trying method of ale on the breast but it did nt works please help
Yes Christina, start with the tips from the post to get started.
I know it’s hard Celeste, you find what you’re comfortable with, but the pattern will likely continue if they know you’ll give in. You could try serving dinner a little later, they may be hungrier then. You could also try to have a scheduled bedtime snack. In my house, we occasionally do a snack, but I’m firm most of the time with no food til breakfast.
Hi, thanks for the article.
I’m wondering if I need to a to give my 12 month old breast milk or cows milk to replace the feeds I am removing? He is EBF and I have cut out one afternoon feed (aftern nap) and just replaced it with extra snacks. I would like to cut out the midday feed (after 1st nap) in the next couple weeks. I don’t know know if at that point i should express so he can have bottle at daycare or go without altogether.
Isn appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks!
I’d definitely consult your doc and see what they’re recommendations are. But, you want to think about keeping it slow. Maybe start the process when he’s not in daycare so you can monitor? This feeding schedule will be helpful too!
Thank you for this article. It’s the most helpful thing ive been able to find. My son has just turned one and we are both ready to stop breastfeeding as he wakes 4/5 times in the night for comfort feeds. I don’t feed him in the day anymore which he doesn’t seem To mind. He only wants me at bedtime and during the night.
He will only sleep during the day if i feed him to sleep, in the car or in his pushchair. Otherwise he will scream until he gets my milk. ANy advise would be greatly appreciated please
I’m in the same situation. My son is about to turn 1, nurses to sleep for 2 naps and wakes 1-3 times a night for comfort feeds. Nurses to sleep at bedtime usually, but if my husband is home he tries to put him to sleep for me to avoid that. My issue is that my husband works nights so I’m not sure how to get my son back to sleep in the middle of the night without nursing (he will scream and try to RIP my shirt off….). I’m the first in my close family to breastfeed anywhere close to this long, so any advice is so appreciated!!
It can be tricky! I’d try some of the suggestions from the post. Keep in mind, you’ll have to try again and again, most likely. It’s a process.
I agree with so many others here. This is the most helpful article I’ve read. I’m struggling with weaning my 14 month old. She is only feeding wake up, before naps and before bed. But since I’ve started sticking to this schedule, she is requesting breast feeding constantly. It is really hard for me to say “no”. Sometimes she is distractible, and, sometimes, she just cries. Psychologically, it’s making it much harder for me to deny her. But I’m ready to stop pumping at work and at least move to just a night feed. I’m sure I’ll miss it, too. I just feel awful that she is wanting it more than ever and I’m reducing my feeds. I’m doing it slowly and respectfully. But it’s making me worry that Im harming her.
I love hearing that Erica, thank you!
This is truly a challenging transition! It’s really hard. It’s such a personal decision, and I’d encourage you to take some time where you can really think about what you feel is best. I really like using distraction and always having a water cup available for her and prompting them to drink it before they even “request” nursing. You’re a good mama, and it’s okay to take a step forward and then one back.
My son is 15 months old, we were on night time only feedings and I believe they we’re purely a form of comfort for him. I’m on day 3 of not breastfeeding and my breast hurt so much. They obviously feel full. Any tips?
I would actually pump a little, just enough to take the edge off! I’ve been there, I totally get it. Sometimes ice can help too if you can tolerate that.
My 16 month old sleeps through the night with grandma no bottle and doesn’t need to nurse, as soon as he returns home he wants to nurse before bedtime and throughout the night. Any advice?
Hey CJ,
I can relate and know how hard this transition can be! I would try to have someone else in your home put him to bed. If no one else lives with you, even a friend that can come over and even spend the night for a few nights. Breaking up the routine is very powerful. Check out the roadblocks listed in the article about nursing to sleep, as these can be helpful as well!
Best,
Desiree
My 2 year old daughter wakes up early in the mornings around 6 or 7 and keeps drinking breastmilk almost till the time she wakes up- which is around 9 a.m. Because of this all my morning chores get affected. I tried offering a bottle of cow’s milk while she is asleep, but she cries for breastmilk in her sleep. I am trying to wean her off as she is more than 2 years old, but in vain. Any solution?
Sorry you are having difficulty with this. I would try to transition to breastmilk in a bottle and then slowly mix 75% breastmilk 25% cow’s milk to help with the transition and slowly as she accommodates you can increase the amount of cow’s milk.
Best,
Desiree
When child wake up in the mid of the night and she only want to have breast feeding ?
facing difficulty in weaning breastfeeding
Definitely so challenging! Have you tried the steps in the post a few times, sometimes it takes a lot of consistency to get through:)
Hi there, I’m really struggling with my d.s. He is 15 months old, has been breastfeeding from birth. He rejects a bottle but will take a sippy cup stricky though the day. He wakes up still around 4 to 5 times a night for a quick feed it’s almost became his comfort. He won’t touch a dummy I’ve tried various snugs teddies blankies ect. Nothing works with him. I don’t want to force him to stop staight away as I know this would be a bad experience for him and myself. I have no other half it’s just me and my boys. My auntie took him for the weekend to see if she could help, she brought him back after a day as he kept her up all night Screaming! Please help!!
That’s a lot for sure! I’m sure you’re exhausted. Is it possible to wean away from one of these feedings? Is he eating well during the day, so his belly is full? Can you do a hearty bedtime snack so that you know he’s not starving?
Thank you so much for your excellent posts! My little one celebrates her first birthday in a few weeks and not long after I need to return to work part time. She has been exclusively breast fed and is also cows milk intolerant so we are both on a dairy free diet for now. She is doing well with solids and table foods and is/has consistently been in the 85th percentile for height and weight. I’m feeling quite anxious about how to manage returning to work and her starting daycare. I can follow your suggested schedule and advice post for weaning but wondered at her age if I need to express and give her EBM from a straw cup for during the day or if just transitioning to a water bottle and keeping up morning and night feed would be OK? If she did need EBM would you suggest I replace her breast feeds during the day with pumping? She can’t have cows milk yet due to her allergy and I’d prefer breast milk over specidlized formula just to give her that extra immunity support starting in daycare. I’d really appreciate any advice!
Thank you!
Hi Alisha,
This is a great article – thank you!
I have a question. I have a 13 month old girl who is now just taking two breastfeeds in morning and night (or 3 when she is not at daycare and i nurse her down to nap).
She isn’t very bothered about the morning feed so this is easy to phase out, my issue is she nurses to sleep at night and for naps. I’d love my hubbie to put her to bed like you suggest but she crys and last time we tried i had to come home at 10pm and nurse her. She is very use to him and he usually does the first half of the bedtime routine – nappy change, bath, story – and i finish off with nursing.
Any suggestions on how to wean her off the boob and get her to sleep? Should daddy keep trying ?? Its emotional for us all but i would like to end the bfing.
Thanks in advance any help appreciated!
It’s hard for sure! I would keep trying with Dad, and focus on the transitional object so she has something else to calm down with. Bring your dr in the convo if you have any concerns about her being hungry!
Thanks Alisha. As I’ve recently had to travel with her for 2 weeks away from dad we’ve had to put this on hold. But I’m eager to try again, the problem is she is waking twice in the night (around 1pm and 4am). I’m finding myself nursing her more to settle her back to sleep. Sometimes in the early morning particulary she is really hard to settle and I end up on the spare bed with her. At this point she falls asleep fast. So I’m now in a bit of a muddle over what to do to improve things. Should we still get dad to try bedtimes to stop that feed or should I be working on eliminating the night feeds? Shes obviously going through a bit of insecurity and needing the extra comforting, I dont think she is hungry as she eats well, but I could be wrong! Any thoughts on next steps?
It can be so tricky and is such a personal choice! If it were me, I’d want to focus on the middle of the night feedings first because I love my sleep, ha! I’d pick one to wean out first though either way.
Loved this article. I just saved it so I can used it for future reference. One quick question; I always breastfeed him to nap. What do you recommend on this case?
Hi Alisha,
Thank you for all of your tips! I have been enjoying reading many of your posts. I have a 14 months old who was not a picky eater at all. He would try just about anything and liked everything. We went to Europe about a month or so ago and while we tried to stay in airbnbs where I could cook, it wasn’t always the case. As such, I would sometimes try to give him some food cooked in a restaurant, but which he would eat had I made it. He ended up starting to mostly nurse again during that trip and would only eat what I prepared. Before leaving, I had started to wean him off a bit and he had started to eat sufficiently at dinner to sleep through the night. However, ever since we got back, he has molars coming in and some other teeth too. He is eating his meals regularly, but is not eating sufficiently at dinner to hold him through the night. Would you have any tips on how to handle the situation and have him eat more at dinner again? He also seems to become pickier even though I don’t push / pressure him to eat. For example, this week he mostly wants just pasta without vegetables or meats/fish. When he nurses at night, he nurses to eat and then falls right back asleep. I know that if I can get him to eat sufficiently to stop nursing during the night, then we can easily wean him off completely. Thank you for your help!
Hi Stephanie, I’m hoping things have improved a little as you’ve settled back into your routine. If not, I’d try and focus on routine as much as possible and keeping mealtimes positive. Try not to expect him to eat too much for a few days as you try and establish this again. Also, serve some foods that he really likes, more so than usual, just to get him eating again.
And, if he will, see if he’ll mouth on a cooled teether to soothe his gums before meals.
Loved your article!! You are the best!!! Thank you!
You’re so welcome! I’m glad it helped!
My 10 month old nurses to sleep for naps as well as bedtime. She still wakes up 3-4 times a night so how do I transition to getting her to sleep without feeding
I was looking for answers I’m a first time mom and I have no grandma support for advise on these subjects and every woman I know formula feed their babies…
My Hailey will be one next week and has been exclusively breastfeed no bottle I’m so very grateful for you sharing information and you’re personal experience going to take it as advise and give it my very best!
Thank you dearly…
Thank you for your suggestions. My son is 12.5 months old. I’m following your advice, but I have a hard time switching to cow’s milk. He is nursing twice a day (bedtime and morning) and he eats a yogurt (150 ml), sometimes he bites some cheese. I’d like to speed up the process a little, because I have to start a theraphy and I’m not confortable feeding him while taking medication, but at the same in my opinion he isn’t drinking enough milk.
At the moment I have tried four times to give him cow’s milk. He will only take little sips. Today I’ve mixed my milk with a splash of cow’s milk and little by little, with effort he had around 40 ml (1,6 ounces). Yesterday he didn’t want any milk. Sunday we gave him a bottle of cow’s milk, but he also had a hard time drinking half of it at breakfast. I’d prefer not to use him to drink formula from a bottle, because he’s already 1 year old! I’d like to switch directly to cow’s milk from a cup, but at the same time I can’t wait another month to finish weaning. He drinks water and other liquids from a open cup without problems, but as soon as he sees a white liquid, he refuses to drink. That’s why I have used a sippy cup. At least, after drinking the first sip of 75% mom’s milk, he has smiled, not cried!
I’d like to buy a specific cup for cow’s milk (suitable for microwaves). Do you recommend a sippy cup, a straw cup (I saw one but it’s for +18 months) or a open cup for cow’s milk? Any suggestion for my problem? Should I give him formula in a bottle or cup instead of cow’s milk, at least until he become used to it? If I pump milk after starting my theraphy, I’m worried I’ll increase milk production (which I don’t want, as I’m weaning).
Thanks in advance
Transitioning is so hard! I get it, sometimes this is one step forward and one back. I like to transition to a cup for all milk, and your doctor would likely agree that should be the goal, but you can take it slow and encourage you to trust your instincts so that you’re both comfortable. If weight or growing is a concern, I’d definitely get your doctor involved!
Love this post. I could not find much help on weaning and felt very overwhelmed when I decided I wanted to start. Having a strategy is just very helpful. She is down to three breastfeeding/bottle of breastmilk feeds right now at 12.5 months and she isn’t taking to cows milk. I tried mixing it with only 1/4 cow’s milk but I feel like I’m wasting so much breastmilk because she just won’t drink it. She loves water and breastmilk in her sippy cup but isn’t taking to milk. Do you have any suggestions? It definitely relaxes her to have her bottle before naps so it would be great to have something to give her. I may try water in a sippy cup before naps but water is fun and playful to her. Not relaxing.
One thing I’d try is putting the smallest splash of cow’s milk into her breast milk, does she notice? You could increase very slowly from there, once she adapts to the taste you may be able to increase more quickly!
I’m a little confused about “weaned by 12 months…” You say not to wean until 12 months, but to have a baby weaned “by” 12 months in this slow method, wouldn’t that insinuate that you’ve started before they’re 12 months old? I’ve been considering starting something with my daughter who is currently 9+ months. I wanted to go super slow to avoid any drama on her part or mine, but I feel like I’m getting mixed explanations from everywhere…
Starting around 9 months and taking your time is entirely your choice. Every situation is different. Most doctors and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend weaning at one year of age. This doesn’t mean it has to have happened by the time your baby turns one, just that they recommend that you wean them somewhere around that time.
Hi, I have a 12 month old daughter. I’ve been able to wean her off all daytime feeds. Trying to wean off the bedtime feed now. She has been ebf since the beginning. No formula at all. I’m trying to give her cows milk in the day now but she has very little at a time.
My problem is that shes been taking a LOT of night feedings. Some nights she feeds almost ALL NIGHT LONG. does this mean I weaned her too early? I can’t believe it could be constant teething. What am I doing wrong? And how do I make her feed less and let all of us sleep more?
Hmm, did you try blending the breast milk and cows milk when she’s drinking it from a cup? It sounds like she’s making up for those calories at night.
Hi. I have decided to partially wean my 10 month old as i am returning to work soon. I breastfeed morning and bedtime and give formula during the day. It it ok to give the formula during the day in just a straw sippy cup? Is there anything wrong with taking all their milk/formula from a sippy cup? My little ones drinks it very well from a straw cup- or should i be offering a bottle instead? Thanks in advance
There’s no developmental reason why they need to continue on a bottle, the only concern would be if they didn’t drink enough from a straw cup.
How do I re-wean a 22 month old who started breast feeding again when a new baby arrived? She is now refusing cows milk which she previously loved! She selfweaned at 15 months the first time round.
My baby is just 14months old and Its one week now since i stopped breastfeeding him.some times I feel bad when he cries trying to find the breast at one point I was tempted and had to breast feed him.what should I do.and he over feeds at night can it be controlled.
I think it can be really hard to go through this transition, and it’s fine to give in. My best advice is to trust your instincts and give him milk at his meals. I’d talk to your doctor as well, and consider when you’re comfortable weaning.
My 13 month old refuses both homo milk and expressed milk in a sippy cup (never took to a bottle either), but she will have her water or juice in a sippy. I have heard that milk is not the be all and end all for toddlers and it is okay to just give them water and make up for the milk with other dairy source. I would like to be done with breastfeeding, plus I am travelling soon without her! Thoughts?
This is definitely my personal opinion as well and most pediatricians will agree. I always encourage parents to follow their instincts, but follow up with your doctor regarding your plan.
Hi,
I am amom of 19 year old kid. My daughter always want breastmilk. Now it is like a comfort for her. Also she doesn’t eat much food. And people suggest me only once you stop breastfeeding her, she will start taking meals properly. She need breastmilk to sleep and in between sleep (daytime or night), she gets up for ‘n’ number of times for breastmilk. Even after a meal she comes to me for breastmilk. Sometimes before I tried distacting her from taking breastmilk by taking her out or showing something she likes. But in a minute or two she will start crying for breastmilk. She will not take formula or cow’s milk. And also I haven’t tried pumping milk yet.
I have read your post. Still I feel it will not be easy for me to stop breastfeeding my kid. Sometimes I feel irritated when she simply sucks the nipple. Please suggest me some solution to stop breastfeeding. Also I have plans to go to work asap.
I know this can be challenging! I would recommend starting to follow the suggestions provided in the post. It’s not always easy and takes a lot of consistently and patience. Be kind to yourself while you are starting this transition! 🙂
Thery helpfull article.I need help how to stop breast feading
my tweens.My daughters are 15 months old .And i stuck with a night feading.Maybe any ideas for tweens.the broblem is that I breast feeding them together because they are awake together.
Hi there,
Any ideas for my situation? I have a 10.5month old who only has only ever breastfed (never took to a bottle) and now my milk is seriously low, I don’t think he’s getting much at all. I’m only producing on one side and I can tell by the let down that it just isn’t much milk. He drinks water and eats foods well. I’m concerned about the milk/formula intake though as he’s still under a year. Should we be introducing whole milk in his cup now? I worry he’s not getting all the nutrients & vitamins that are in formula/breastmilk in the quantities that he needs for this stage. He also still wakes at 2/3 am every night for a feed – and I willingly give it to him as I’m wanting him to get as much milk as possible in a 24 hr period. Any advice please!
Thanks.
I would definitely check with your doctor, most recommend not doing cows milk until 12 months old. Your doctor may want you to supplement with formula, but definitely check with your doctor.
Hi there so my son will be 3 in Aug I’ve completely weened him from breastfeeding in the day night has been hell for me I’ve got him to able to fall asleep on my chest after like a hour struggle without feeding but he wakes up like 4-5 times a night I don’t know what to do he doesn’t like bottles or binkies I’ve tried giving him sippy cups with water in it and he freaks out hell just sit there and cry and cry and get mad so I’m having to give in to him after him sitting there crying for 10 mins becay I don’t want him to wake everyone else up in the house I’ve tried getting a blanket for him and a stuffed animal nothing is working do you have any ideas ?
Hey Morgan,
So sorry to hear you are going through this! I’d try to have someone else go in and comfort him. You are doing great by trying to provide a blanket or animal so I’d also stick with that to see if he can become attached to one and that may comfort him as well. With you going in, it makes it hard, because he can smell the milk too. Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
This is the most helpful article I’ve come across about weaning so thank you so much. I know you touched on timing being a personal decision however my question is, if I’m tryimg to be done nursing by 12 months, when should I start eliminating a feed? My baby won’t take breast milk in a cup or bottle but I will try offering it during meals more consistently as you suggested. I’m just worried that I’m not giving her enough breastmilk if I eliminate a feed during the day as she is currently 10 months old. I want to drop a feed every couple of weeks, hence why I was thinking of starting now. She eats table food really well.
I would definitely talk to your doctor if you want to start weaning before 12 months. The best suggestion will probably be to give your milk in a bottle following a meal. However, most doctors recommend waiting until they are one year of age, unless the child does it on their own.
Oh my goodness I wish I had found this earlier…. It would have put my mind at rest, such amazing advice here. I just have one question. I have been weaning bubs now for about a month and a half as I was worried I would get sore boobies, but now I am down to morning and night feeds only. Bubs is currently taking half a feed from me and I am topping up with formula, how do I know when to stop offering boobies? I don’t want to get mastitis (biggest fear of my life). Today is the first day she only got 5 sucks from me then a bottle. Boobs are a little tender tonight. Should I keep that up for 5 days (like I have every other change in feed) then stop completely? Any advice would be amazing =)
Sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job! I think if you continue on the same pace, you should be in really good shape. But I’d definitely check with your doctor too. In general, the slower you wean, the better chance you have of not having discomfort. I think mastitis is a pretty low risk at this point.
My granddaughter is 19 months and still needs to be breastfed once her mom comes from work
She enjoys it
I feel it is kind of attachemnt
My daughter claims she is not yet ready to wean her girl
But the girl is literally sitting or playing while feeding
She keeps on asking for milk which means her mom
Her daughter is a bit stubborn and i am afraid tit will be so hard on both of them soecially that it is so hard for her to fal asleep without breastfeeding and she refused her bed for more than 6 months now and sleeps beside her parents !!!!!
Do you think they are late
Will it be so hard for them
It’s possible it’s mainly attachment. To be honest this is such a controversial topic, that its really the mom’s choice. I’d encourage her to talk to her doctor if there’s any developmental or feeding concerns. There is still plenty of time to wean though:)
Hi Alisha, your article is fantastic such a great read! I’m really curious about weaning my 19month old. Do I wean him from breastmilk onto formula or cows milk? I only feed him twice a day now, He has 1 sleep a day where he also feeds to sleep and then again for bedtime where he will also feed to sleep usually. I’m so confused on how to stop I just want to cut out his day feed for now and keep his night feed but I’m not sure what to do.
You definitely don’t have to, there’s so many nutritional benefits to the breast milk- it’s really a personal decision. Some mom’s will pump and give the milk in a cup as well.
If you’re ready you can definitely take away the nap time feed, I’d follow the steps in the article for those times, they can be the trickiest!
My son is 15 months and has been exclusively breastfed. Now I have to go back to work and I’m having a hard time weaning him off!!! He drinks out of straw cups during the day but will not go down for naps or bed without breastfeeding. What can I do????
It will probably be different without you there and he’ll have to learn to go to sleep without. If he’s eating well at other meals you likely don’t have anything to worry about.
I know it’s scary though. You could also give him your milk in a cup before these times!
I have a situation no one seems to be able to help me with. My two children, 13 months and 3 years, won’t drink milk. They both drank breast milk from a bottle fine until 5 months (3yr boy) and 11 months(13 mo girl). Then began to refuse it. They were mommy or nothing at all! My son I weaned at 16 months and at the time he would eat plenty of other dairy products. Then about 18 months he began to be picky about what he ate. So much so that now he is in OT for picky eating. My 13 month old however has decided she doesn’t want dairy products (well she will eat cheese!) She used to eat yogurts and cottage cheese just fine, now nothing! I have tried cows milk and coconut milk with no luck. Also to note she won’t drink breast or cow milk from an open or straw cup. She will only drink water. We haven’t introduced juice at all. I even went as far as calling the cow/coconut milk juice. At first she seemed to like it, but now won’t take it. I am trying my son again on milk at the same time hoping maybe now was the chance. The doctors just say to keep trying. I’m ready to wean, but not if she won’t eat dairy. Tried warm/cold, different cups, other people giving with me not in the house. Any thoughts?
I am having this exact problem. Can you please tell me what you ended up doing? My baby will only drink water from her cup. When I offer her pumped milk she buries her head into my chest and cries which breaks my heart. I’m so worried she will not get enough calories/nutrients once I fully wean her since she refuses milk from a cup.
Thanks for this! Currently trying to phase out breastfeeding with my second who is a year. My trouble is she shares a room with her big sister and gets woken up by her occasionally. I just end up nursing her back to sleep. I’m kinda worried about how she’ll go back to sleep once we’re done. Ugh, I really wish we had more bedrooms?
You’ll get there, keep trying!
Hey there! I’m currently weaning my 12 month old and working on the before nap nursing. We have a routine and she’s great with solids. I’m just confused on if I should give her a cup with breast milk as if she’s still nursing? Whole milk? Snack? We just started mixing breast and whole milk for after her nap and water with meals, but maybe that should be switched? I’m lost!
Hi Nikki, I usually start to mix the milks, but its really your call. If you want to keep pumping you can keep her on just breast milk, I wouldn’t jump straight to cows milk though without mixing it first so her system has a chance to adjust. I hope this helps!
Hello! I have a complicated situation with my second baby boy. He’s a year and a half, so 18 months and I’m still breastfeeding on demand day and all night. I realize most of it is for comfort and he eats all of the food well. I am also co sleeping, he hates the crib and acts like it’s a punishment to be in there. How do I wean him and move him to his own bed? I’m stuck!
That’s really tough Nina! I’d start with using the steps in the post around day time meals. I don’t specialize in sleep, but there are a lot of approaches you can use like sitting in his room till he falls asleep, letting him sleep on just the matress, no crib, etc. It will take time for sure.
Thank you for the great tips! My daughter is 13 months and has slept through the night since she was 4 months. I have not slept through the night since she was born. I wake up twice a night to pump, if I don’t I’m in a lot of pain. I’m scared that if I stop the middle of the night pumping my supply will drop, but I’m also thinking it’s time. My only concern is I’m in a lot of pain that I can’t even get back to sleep unless I pump. Any tips would be appreciated.
I was there! I’d pump just enough to take the edge of and suffer through it for a few nights until I stopped producing so much. Hope that helps!
Hi Alisha, this is the best information that I have ever read on weaning!! Ive done so much research and always ended up finding info on extreme opposite sides of the spectrum. My son was late on being able to digest certain foods well, like grains, and at almost 20 months of age still has multiple food sensitivities, so he nurses a lot. But now he’s developed some of those picky eating habits you mentioned on top of continuing to nurse frequently during the day and also still waking a few times at night to nurse. Exhausting for me and I know it’s past time for me to do something about it. So much detailed info that I’ll probably re-read this article many times– you are a Godsend, thank you for providing such great advice at no cost!
Oh my gosh Cathy, you’re so sweet! It brightens my day reading comments like that. Thank you and wishing you the best – you’ll get over this soon!
This has been the most helpful post I have been able to come across on weaning from breastfeeding as well as your post on whole milk!
I’m currently struggling with my 15 month old. I’m pregnant and so exhausted with breastfeeding that I’ve decided to start weaning. Our biggest problem right now is he still wakes up during the night to nurse about 2 times.. some times it’s non stop. As well as with the habit of nursing to sleep. I try to rock him to sleep also but sometimes it’s nonstop crying/wide awake until I give in. He eats very well and has started drinking whole milk but still wants to nurse too. It’s like he’s never full! Lol anyways, any advice?
13 month old***
Hmmm, it may be more of a comfort at this point. I’d start with focusing on just one time to cut out- maybe the middle of the night. Can someone else besides you go into the room? Can you have a sippy cup of water available? I’d start by trying there. Try to just focus on small step at a time:)
Hey.. You mentioned every detail so precisely.. my baby boy is 13 months n I m really worried abt he to stop him from breastfeeding.. he is just addicted to it.. he is not having solid foods properly n always eager to breastfeed.. yr article gv many suggestions which I m excited to apply with him , hoping it really do work.. thank you so very much fr sharing ur experience.. ?
You’re so welcome! Good luck, I’d also check out yourkidstable.com/feeding-therapy if you’re still having trouble:)
Hi there, im pretty sure I have read most of your threads. Im having alot of trouble and wanted to see if you have anything that might help. My daughter is 8 months old, she will NOT take a bottle, soother, NOTHING! Im tired of Breastfeeding. Its also an all night thing. If it falls out of her mouth, she freaks out and wakes up. I’ve tried every kind of cup, nipple, quiet place, scent, EVERYTHING. Its just not happening. Water, Formula, BMilk from a bottle, Syringe, Spoon, Open cup, NOPE! If its not coming from the boob shes not having it. PLEASE HELP! I dont know what to do.
Sorry Lilah for the delay! It’s so tricky! Some babies never do take the bottle, I had one that did that. Have you talked to your pediatrician, my best tips are in the post:)
Hello 🙂 First of all I would like to thank you for the reassuring posts and all the small tips. My daughter (my first little angel) is now 13 months old, she was amazing with baby food starting from 6 months (she was having 3 meals, and breastfed mornings and nights). She loved eating food and ate all different types without any problems. At 11 months I started introducing solid table food. It started well but suddenly she refuses eating and became very picky, therefore she is increasing breastfeeding sessions which will make it even more challenging to wean her. Even sleeping patterns became worse. I couldn’t understand the sudden change of behavior but I came across the idea that it might be a regression phase because she is developing a lot of new skills like walking, talking and also linked it with teething, but it has been more than a month unfortunately :(. Now I feel stuck and very frustrated, I prepare 3 types of food each meal and I m confused on how to start tackling this problem as I also have a big problem with night feedings (she wakes up 2-4 times per night and has to be breastfed to sleep). I ended with problems in feeding, sleeping and weaning :$ all at once. I don’t know how to start at this point, should I start by weaning (my weak point unfortunately)? Do I have to in order to make meal time a better experience? I was planning to wait till 18 months but after reading your post I’m thinking of starting sooner. I m very overwhelmed and feel I m doing a lot of things the wrong way so I hope I can somehow reverse this soon as it is getting to me and affecting my patience especially with food although I used to be very open to experiment and cook new things. Any tips, links, methods to check would be endlessly helpful! Thank you in advance 🙂
Sorry just realized it’s a very long comment :(… First timer; I deeply apologise for this 🙁
Oh sure, no problem! I’d definitely look at transitioning to table foods and the 11-14 month old schedule, I think both of these will be very helpful. Take a look and let me know if you have any other questions! I know this can be really overwhelming, but take it one step at a time!
Very helpful, thank you! Any tips on how to have them drink cold milk? I am currently doing half breastmilk/half whole milk but if given cold he spits it out. . He drinks it fine when warmed though. Honestly I think he would be fine with 100% whole milk if warmed but would prefer to not have to warm it forever:)
I have a lot of breast milk leftover in my freezer that I do not want to waste. The shelf life in the freezer for breast milk is 5 months. What do you suggest doing – should I use up all of the breast milk and once it is gone then introduce my son to cows milk (combining cows milk and breast milk)? Or should I give him both breast milk and cows milk until I use my frozen supply? For context: my son will be 1 later this month. Thank you in advance!
I would continue to use the breast milk- that’s great and ideal actually! The last 2-4 weeks start to mix with cows milk!
How much cow milk and breastmilk?
These are great tips!!
I am trying to wean my 15 month old but due to a slow start with solids (a long list of food intolerances that she’s now outgrown) she’s unfortunately become a picky eater (we’ve been living by your picky eating tips to help manage meals!)
We are so worried about the lack of food she’s actually eating, which makes me worried about weaning… where will she get her nutrients if not from my milk?! Any tips would be great!!! Thanks 🙂
I’m so glad you’re finding help here! You definitely don’t have to wean, but make sure you’re combining her milk feedings with her meals or before bedtimes or she won’t be hungry enough to eat at meals. Also, if she drinks a lot of milk she might not get hungry enough. Have you seen my posts on transitioning to table foods, even though she’s a little older I think they’ll be really helpful!
This is one of the more helpful posts I’ve found related to weaning. Thank you! I’m about to start the process with my 11 month old – currently weaning from the pump at work – but for us I expect the tough one to drop will be the morning feed, right after she wakes up. I love the calm sleepy cuddles and she’s quite hungry so nurses for a while. Any tips? She’s good with solids, mostly table foods at this point, and uses both a bottle and a straw cup no problem.
Leave it as the last one and if you want you can take your time and let her have that last feeding until she’s 13-14 months. If you want to be done soon, can someone else get her up? And then have breakfast ready to go! I don’t think you need to rush though, unless you want to! Sounds like she’s doing great:)
Thanks for the detailed post. I am currently weaning my soon to be 12 month old and have used this post as a reference more than once. 🙂
Aww, that’s great, thank you!
any tips for middle of the night weaning? my son still nursing 2 times during the night and I tried everything from let him cry to offer bottles… nothing seems to work. He’s 6 months old we started the weaning process 2 weeks ago, during the day is going ok but during the night I can see will be a real problem.
Thanks
This is a tricky spot to be in, I know Ana! To be honest its probably gonna take some time, and if you’re weaning you may dry up. I’d try to wait as long as you can before going in, or consider sleep training and refuse to go in (not for everyone, just offering as a possibility.) I’d focus on one time during the night at first and trying to get him to that point. Also, if Dad or someone else can go in, that would probably help, too.
Hi there, thank you so much for a great read! I just want to ask for some clarity, you said that you recommend stopping breastfeeding and only giving food after the age of one. Not substitute the breast milk with anything else. But a little later in the article you say to give cows or toddler milk as a nursing replacement. Is that just for the transition period to make it easier on them? Do babies over the age of 1 nutritionally need milk or not? I would like to wean my one year old from the breast now but I don’t really want to give him bottles or cups of cows or formula milk. If he is able to get his nutrients from his food that would be best. I do give him a bit of cows milk over his oats in the morning etc but outsourcing my responsibility of feeding my baby to another animal seems a bit weird. If he still needs the milk I would rather keep breastfeeding a bit longer. But I do think we are at a place now where he is adaptable and will wean easily, I’m hoping I don’t have to breastfeed past the 15 month attachment phase!
Thank you so much I look forward to your reply.
Hey Merelda,
Thanks for reaching out. Typically after weaning families do replace with some other “milk” for nutritional value, and it is recommended for Toddlers. And something I would talk to your pediatrician about. Most people do cow’s milk, but you can discuss alternatives with your pediatrician. We do have an article all about milk and what is recommended by age. You can check out the article HERE
Best,
Desiree
i think its time for me to start weaning. any tips if she wont sleep until she nurses?
I am interested in sleeping and nursing question too.
For my little one it just calms him down so well. We nurse in his quite room before sleep time. He has blanket and toy that help him fall asleep in his crib but he plays alot before falling asleep.
Just replied to Ami, let me know if you have more question Cherise!
I’ve been there! So, first, make sure that those are the last feedings that you get rid of. Next, pick the feeding that you suspect will be the least challenging to get rid of, usually this is before nap instead of night time. Then, like I said in the post, you’ll want to focus on a routine (book, rocking in chair, etc.) and offer nursing as the last option. Once the routine is solidified then you can start to try to just put them to bed- even if they’ve done that before. You may have to do some rocking or patting of their butt if they’ve never fallen asleep on their own and slowly pull back from that. Does that make sense? Also, if you have the option, have somebody else (that can nurse them) put them to bed- sometimes this is all you need to do. I know it can be scary to think about them falling asleep on their if they’ve never done it, but it is possible!
How do you maintain your milk supply when you get down to just 1 feeing per day? Are you pumping?
I think it depends Sandra, pumping would definitely help if your supply is low. Usually though your body just adapts, it produces what it needs and as you wean it will keep producing what the baby is taking, even if that’s just feeding a day.
Awesome article. I was nodding my head the whole time 🙂 You described my experience perfectly! My three kids weaned at 14, 13, and 16 months, and that bedtime wean was the one just for me.
Thanks Jenny! I’m sure our similar backgrounds played a role in how we weaned! 🙂
Again, great tip! I really love how insightful and helpful the information I found in every article of your blog. Even though, my daughter stopped breastfeeding couple months ago. I wish I could find this article much earlier.
Thank you so much Catherine! I’m so glad you found value in it, especially since you just went through this yourself.
Thank you for the information, very helpful!
My little boy is 16 months old and hooked on boob! Hes also a headbanger and throws his face into the floor when he doesn’t get it.. Distraction only works to a point, usually he will ignore me and continue to try to hit his head either in my arms or anywehre.. any advice? It’s so upsetting and exhausting, especially now that i am pregnant with my second!
Thank you
Hey,
We totally understand how upsetting this can be! I’d really walk through the steps in the article. A lot of times having someone else do the feeding can be really helpful, if possible!
Best,
Desiree