Learn how and when to wean off breast milk whether your baby is 1 year old, 15-months-old, or a toddler. OT and mom shares tricks for gently transitioning to milk, stopping nursing to sleep, and other weaning challenges.
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As an OT, I have shared lots of baby and toddler milestone tutorials over the years, including How to Wean from a Bottle.
The topics of feeding and eating can be complicated and stressful for many parents, no matter the age of your child. But when you have a baby or toddler, it can feel even more complex because of how much information is out there.
Weaning from breastfeeding is one area where there are a lot of opinions, and let’s be honest- lots of conflicting advice. You’ve probably read all kinds of information or even gotten advice from friends or family members.
As a mom who has done it three times with my children that were exclusively breast-fed, I’m here to share with you my best advice on how to stop breastfeeding gently, safely, and appropriately.
My oldest, NEVER took a bottle, which was really stressful, and my third would only do it if he had to. So believe me, I know the stress that comes along with this.
Of course, I’m fully aware that this can be a bit of a controversial topic. So, let me say, right now, very clearly, that this post IS NOT about when a mother should stop nursing, although I will share some general info on the topic.
This post is about how to stop breastfeeding, when a mother and child are ready. Women have many different reasons for wanting to wean at various ages. I completely welcome constructive and helpful comments, but let’s be supportive of each other’s very personal decisions.
So whether you are wondering how to wean an 11, 12, 13, 14, 15-month-old, or even an older baby or toddler, read on to hear my best tricks as a mom and occupational therapist.
When to Stop Breastfeeding and Start the Weaning Process
I know I’m leading with the when, even though I just said it is a personal decision, and it is. But, I know many of you aren’t sure when you want to wean, so let me give you some objective information.
Many moms start to wean at 12 months, right around baby’s first birthday.
I will tell you this, around 15 months of age, children enter a new cognitive phase and begin to make strong associations or attachments. Nursing to this point could make it more difficult to wean with some of the strategies I’ll discuss here, but certainly not impossible.
I don’t say that to persuade you towards weaning earlier, but want you to be aware of all the information. While I also fully support mothers that decide to nurse longer, I will caution you to be aware of those feedings affecting consumption at solid food meals.
Some toddlers can handle having “nursings” throughout the day as they please and still sit down to eat their meals, but others fill up on milk and subsequently don’t transition to eating more food.
That can be a slippery slope, as I’ve seen many times. If toddlers don’t get the practice and exposure to eating foods, sometimes they can become very picky eaters throughout childhood. If you continue to nurse, I would encourage you to treat meals as a priority as well and be aware of how recently they have nursed.
Find out other reasons kids become picky here.
For a variety of reasons, I decided to wean my own children around one year old. They were 14, 12, and 13 months, respectively. It was a gentle process that was not traumatic for my children in any way.
I did not transition them to a bottle, because at those ages, they didn’t require one. And, if you are weaning over 12 months, I would recommend phasing out those feedings totally and not substituting with infant formula or milk in a bottle or sippy cup at those times.
If you are weaning before 12 months old, you will need to replace it with infant formula in a bottle or possibly a sippy cup. Check out my complete how-to guide for getting a nursing baby to take a bottle.
How to Stop Breastfeeding – at 1 year old, 14, 15, and even 18 months?
So how do you actually start to end breastfeeding? Well, it is a transition, so there may be a little bit of dancing back and forth on this as you make sure both you and your baby are comfortable.
While some babies naturally wean by going on a nursing strike, many need gentle support to make the transition.
If your baby is 8 months old or older, I would first recommend getting them onto a loose schedule, if they aren’t already. I’m not really concerned with specific times, but intervals or around routines.
For instance, with my third, I always nursed him when he woke up from his naps, the time changed but that routine didn’t. That allowed me to plan our meals in a structured way as well, which gave him exposure to foods and helped him develop an appetite for food, too.
(You’ll find links for sample schedules at the end of this section)
Once your baby or toddler is nursing at regular intervals and not on demand, you will choose one of those times to take away. This should be the easiest time of day, usually one of the nursings in the middle of the day.
Going about this process also allows your milk supply to gradually accommodate the change in schedule so that your milk production continues to match the demand.
Typically bedtime and early morning feeds are more difficult to phase out.
The first few days that you take away those feedings you will want to change the routine a little bit and have food and a drink in a cup ready to go. For instance, when I was taking away those after nap nursings,I would go into his room, pull open the blinds right away and start talking to him real silly to get him distracted.
I’d pick him up playfully and take him downstairs (he typically nursed in his dimly lit room quietly before going downstairs). All the while, I’d be saying, “It’s time for snack! I have your drink, too!”
There were a few times where he whined and pointed to the chair he normally nursed in. I would try once more to distract him and if that didn’t work, then I’d nurse him. That is part of the transition.
If another adult were here, I would have them get him out of his crib as well, which helped change things up.
Once I eliminated that first feeding, I would wait 3-7 days before I took away another feeding, depending on how slow I wanted that to go. Then, I would follow the same procedure. I would do that all the way until I was left with morning and night time nursings.
Morning was always easier to get rid of, so I would make sure I had breakfast completely ready, so he could eat right away.
Personally, I always decided to leave the bedtime nursing session for another month or so, but you don’t need to do that. That was more for me, as weaning each of my children was a very emotional time, and I knew I needed to not rush it.
Keeping that bedtime feeding gave me time to really take in those last days of our special connection. After about a month or so, I would make sure they had a really good dinner (serve a favorite food) or a late snack and then I would let Dad do the bedtime routine.
In all cases, my kids just let my husband put them to bed, as if they had never been nursed, while I sobbed in another room. My children were fine, and I knew, for me, for us, it was time.
To sum up what we’ve just talked about, and fill in some blanks, when you’re ready to wean, you’ll want to:
- Take away one feeding at a time
- Eliminate the easiest feedings first
- Offer a meal instead of nursing. All kids should eat every 2.5 – 3 hours, count from the start of one meal to the start of the next
- Give a cup at each meal, and place either breast milk or cow’s milk in the cup. I prefer a straw cup (see how to teach your baby to drink from a straw). From an OT and mom friendly perspective, I love these cups in particular: Playtex Sipsters, Munchkin Flex Straw, and Advent Straw Cup
- The first time you give cow’s milk, mix it with a 25-50% blend of breast milk. This will help them adjust digestively and to the taste. After a day or two of successful consumption, you can continue to add less and less breast milk until it is straight cow’s milk or toddler formula, if you choose.
- Prior to weaning, give your baby water at each meal, which will help them get used to having a drink. Have water available throughout the day in a cup that they have access to once you start serving milk with their meals. Some babies will want to have both at a meal, which is fine for a short transition period.
If you are looking for more specifics on feeding schedules, click on the ages you need: 6-7 months, 8-10 months, and 11 months plus for samples. These, too, are just a guideline, but should give you some direction. Adapt them as needed.
Troubleshooting Common Breast Weaning Roadblocks
Although stopping breastfeeding can be as easy as I just made it sound, sometime parents hit some roadblocks. I’m going to run through some common ones to help you troubleshoot.
With all of the suggestions below, know that it’s important to stay consistent and keep trying. All of my boys ended up loving cow’s milk, but it took a month or so before they were drinking it really well, usually by the time they were completely weaned from the breast.
Keep in mind that once a baby turns 1, they only require 16 ounces of a milk source.Read more here about how much milk your baby should drink.
- What if baby refuses a cup of any type:
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- Try and try again – every day, at every meal, put the milk in the cup and don’t pressure them. Offer it and even demonstrate, but don’t force. You can experiment with serving cold and warm if you like. If your toddler spits it out, that’s okay, it’s all part of the process.
- Try pumped milk – if you are willing and able, pump and offer that milk in the cup. It will seem foreign and some will likely be wasted, but some babies do better with the familiar taste.
- Focus on 2-3 different types of cups – cycle through a few different kinds of cups, maybe some with bright colors or a silly character on it.
- Water in a cup during the day – always have the water in a cup throughout the day. Give it to them in the car, in the bath, outside, wherever.
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- How to stop nursing to sleep:
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- Change up the routine (as described in the previous section)
- Transitional object – if your child doesn’t already have a special object like a stuffed animal or blanket, start encouraging one. Give it to them every time you are nursing, put it in their arms when you lie them down. Every time.
- Well-fed – I don’t want you to overly worry about this, so many parents do naturally, but it will give you peace of mind in knowing that their tummy is full. Serve a later dinner that is a favorite or a bedtime snack, where you can give milk in a cup. Knowing their well-fed will help you feel better if they protest a little and they will be less likely to request nursing.
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- Baby won’t stop nursing and crying:
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- Distract – while I urge you to not push your baby too fast, some will protest a little. This is when you’ll want to change gears and do something really exciting. I remember with my oldest, I always used to feed him on the couch in the middle of the day and I’d rearrange the pillows to support my arm. In the process of weaning, I started to do that just to straighten up and he saw me and thought it was time to nurse. He didn’t cry, but I quickly grabbed him and stood up, saying, “Oh my goodness, did you just hear that car go by?” We went over to the window to have a look and he forgot about it in a second.
- Offer another drink – without making to big of a deal about it, provide a drink instead, “Oh, here’s your water.” Notice, I didn’t ask, I just made a statement.
- Cuddles – give lots of these at other times, so they feel that connection with you still.
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Tips for success
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- Don’t feel rushed, watch for your child’s acceptance and adjustment.
- You may be emotional, this is normal. Make sure you are feeling comfortable with your decision.
- Don’t listen to other people’s opinions.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments, I’ll be happy to answer. And if you’ve been through this before, share your tips, it will be helpful to everyone that stops here.
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 19 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
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I agree with so many others here. This is the most helpful article I’ve read. I’m struggling with weaning my 14 month old. She is only feeding wake up, before naps and before bed. But since I’ve started sticking to this schedule, she is requesting breast feeding constantly. It is really hard for me to say “no”. Sometimes she is distractible, and, sometimes, she just cries. Psychologically, it’s making it much harder for me to deny her. But I’m ready to stop pumping at work and at least move to just a night feed. I’m sure I’ll miss it, too. I just feel awful that she is wanting it more than ever and I’m reducing my feeds. I’m doing it slowly and respectfully. But it’s making me worry that Im harming her.
I love hearing that Erica, thank you!
This is truly a challenging transition! It’s really hard. It’s such a personal decision, and I’d encourage you to take some time where you can really think about what you feel is best. I really like using distraction and always having a water cup available for her and prompting them to drink it before they even “request” nursing. You’re a good mama, and it’s okay to take a step forward and then one back.
My son is 15 months old, we were on night time only feedings and I believe they we’re purely a form of comfort for him. I’m on day 3 of not breastfeeding and my breast hurt so much. They obviously feel full. Any tips?
I would actually pump a little, just enough to take the edge off! I’ve been there, I totally get it. Sometimes ice can help too if you can tolerate that.
My 16 month old sleeps through the night with grandma no bottle and doesn’t need to nurse, as soon as he returns home he wants to nurse before bedtime and throughout the night. Any advice?
Hey CJ,
I can relate and know how hard this transition can be! I would try to have someone else in your home put him to bed. If no one else lives with you, even a friend that can come over and even spend the night for a few nights. Breaking up the routine is very powerful. Check out the roadblocks listed in the article about nursing to sleep, as these can be helpful as well!
Best,
Desiree
My 2 year old daughter wakes up early in the mornings around 6 or 7 and keeps drinking breastmilk almost till the time she wakes up- which is around 9 a.m. Because of this all my morning chores get affected. I tried offering a bottle of cow’s milk while she is asleep, but she cries for breastmilk in her sleep. I am trying to wean her off as she is more than 2 years old, but in vain. Any solution?
Sorry you are having difficulty with this. I would try to transition to breastmilk in a bottle and then slowly mix 75% breastmilk 25% cow’s milk to help with the transition and slowly as she accommodates you can increase the amount of cow’s milk.
Best,
Desiree
When child wake up in the mid of the night and she only want to have breast feeding ?
facing difficulty in weaning breastfeeding
Definitely so challenging! Have you tried the steps in the post a few times, sometimes it takes a lot of consistency to get through:)
Hi there, I’m really struggling with my d.s. He is 15 months old, has been breastfeeding from birth. He rejects a bottle but will take a sippy cup stricky though the day. He wakes up still around 4 to 5 times a night for a quick feed it’s almost became his comfort. He won’t touch a dummy I’ve tried various snugs teddies blankies ect. Nothing works with him. I don’t want to force him to stop staight away as I know this would be a bad experience for him and myself. I have no other half it’s just me and my boys. My auntie took him for the weekend to see if she could help, she brought him back after a day as he kept her up all night Screaming! Please help!!
That’s a lot for sure! I’m sure you’re exhausted. Is it possible to wean away from one of these feedings? Is he eating well during the day, so his belly is full? Can you do a hearty bedtime snack so that you know he’s not starving?
Thank you so much for your excellent posts! My little one celebrates her first birthday in a few weeks and not long after I need to return to work part time. She has been exclusively breast fed and is also cows milk intolerant so we are both on a dairy free diet for now. She is doing well with solids and table foods and is/has consistently been in the 85th percentile for height and weight. I’m feeling quite anxious about how to manage returning to work and her starting daycare. I can follow your suggested schedule and advice post for weaning but wondered at her age if I need to express and give her EBM from a straw cup for during the day or if just transitioning to a water bottle and keeping up morning and night feed would be OK? If she did need EBM would you suggest I replace her breast feeds during the day with pumping? She can’t have cows milk yet due to her allergy and I’d prefer breast milk over specidlized formula just to give her that extra immunity support starting in daycare. I’d really appreciate any advice!
Thank you!
Hi Alisha,
This is a great article – thank you!
I have a question. I have a 13 month old girl who is now just taking two breastfeeds in morning and night (or 3 when she is not at daycare and i nurse her down to nap).
She isn’t very bothered about the morning feed so this is easy to phase out, my issue is she nurses to sleep at night and for naps. I’d love my hubbie to put her to bed like you suggest but she crys and last time we tried i had to come home at 10pm and nurse her. She is very use to him and he usually does the first half of the bedtime routine – nappy change, bath, story – and i finish off with nursing.
Any suggestions on how to wean her off the boob and get her to sleep? Should daddy keep trying ?? Its emotional for us all but i would like to end the bfing.
Thanks in advance any help appreciated!
It’s hard for sure! I would keep trying with Dad, and focus on the transitional object so she has something else to calm down with. Bring your dr in the convo if you have any concerns about her being hungry!
Thanks Alisha. As I’ve recently had to travel with her for 2 weeks away from dad we’ve had to put this on hold. But I’m eager to try again, the problem is she is waking twice in the night (around 1pm and 4am). I’m finding myself nursing her more to settle her back to sleep. Sometimes in the early morning particulary she is really hard to settle and I end up on the spare bed with her. At this point she falls asleep fast. So I’m now in a bit of a muddle over what to do to improve things. Should we still get dad to try bedtimes to stop that feed or should I be working on eliminating the night feeds? Shes obviously going through a bit of insecurity and needing the extra comforting, I dont think she is hungry as she eats well, but I could be wrong! Any thoughts on next steps?
It can be so tricky and is such a personal choice! If it were me, I’d want to focus on the middle of the night feedings first because I love my sleep, ha! I’d pick one to wean out first though either way.
Loved this article. I just saved it so I can used it for future reference. One quick question; I always breastfeed him to nap. What do you recommend on this case?
Hi Alisha,
Thank you for all of your tips! I have been enjoying reading many of your posts. I have a 14 months old who was not a picky eater at all. He would try just about anything and liked everything. We went to Europe about a month or so ago and while we tried to stay in airbnbs where I could cook, it wasn’t always the case. As such, I would sometimes try to give him some food cooked in a restaurant, but which he would eat had I made it. He ended up starting to mostly nurse again during that trip and would only eat what I prepared. Before leaving, I had started to wean him off a bit and he had started to eat sufficiently at dinner to sleep through the night. However, ever since we got back, he has molars coming in and some other teeth too. He is eating his meals regularly, but is not eating sufficiently at dinner to hold him through the night. Would you have any tips on how to handle the situation and have him eat more at dinner again? He also seems to become pickier even though I don’t push / pressure him to eat. For example, this week he mostly wants just pasta without vegetables or meats/fish. When he nurses at night, he nurses to eat and then falls right back asleep. I know that if I can get him to eat sufficiently to stop nursing during the night, then we can easily wean him off completely. Thank you for your help!
Hi Stephanie, I’m hoping things have improved a little as you’ve settled back into your routine. If not, I’d try and focus on routine as much as possible and keeping mealtimes positive. Try not to expect him to eat too much for a few days as you try and establish this again. Also, serve some foods that he really likes, more so than usual, just to get him eating again.
And, if he will, see if he’ll mouth on a cooled teether to soothe his gums before meals.
Loved your article!! You are the best!!! Thank you!
You’re so welcome! I’m glad it helped!
My 10 month old nurses to sleep for naps as well as bedtime. She still wakes up 3-4 times a night so how do I transition to getting her to sleep without feeding
I was looking for answers I’m a first time mom and I have no grandma support for advise on these subjects and every woman I know formula feed their babies…
My Hailey will be one next week and has been exclusively breastfeed no bottle I’m so very grateful for you sharing information and you’re personal experience going to take it as advise and give it my very best!
Thank you dearly…
Thank you for your suggestions. My son is 12.5 months old. I’m following your advice, but I have a hard time switching to cow’s milk. He is nursing twice a day (bedtime and morning) and he eats a yogurt (150 ml), sometimes he bites some cheese. I’d like to speed up the process a little, because I have to start a theraphy and I’m not confortable feeding him while taking medication, but at the same in my opinion he isn’t drinking enough milk.
At the moment I have tried four times to give him cow’s milk. He will only take little sips. Today I’ve mixed my milk with a splash of cow’s milk and little by little, with effort he had around 40 ml (1,6 ounces). Yesterday he didn’t want any milk. Sunday we gave him a bottle of cow’s milk, but he also had a hard time drinking half of it at breakfast. I’d prefer not to use him to drink formula from a bottle, because he’s already 1 year old! I’d like to switch directly to cow’s milk from a cup, but at the same time I can’t wait another month to finish weaning. He drinks water and other liquids from a open cup without problems, but as soon as he sees a white liquid, he refuses to drink. That’s why I have used a sippy cup. At least, after drinking the first sip of 75% mom’s milk, he has smiled, not cried!
I’d like to buy a specific cup for cow’s milk (suitable for microwaves). Do you recommend a sippy cup, a straw cup (I saw one but it’s for +18 months) or a open cup for cow’s milk? Any suggestion for my problem? Should I give him formula in a bottle or cup instead of cow’s milk, at least until he become used to it? If I pump milk after starting my theraphy, I’m worried I’ll increase milk production (which I don’t want, as I’m weaning).
Thanks in advance
Transitioning is so hard! I get it, sometimes this is one step forward and one back. I like to transition to a cup for all milk, and your doctor would likely agree that should be the goal, but you can take it slow and encourage you to trust your instincts so that you’re both comfortable. If weight or growing is a concern, I’d definitely get your doctor involved!
Love this post. I could not find much help on weaning and felt very overwhelmed when I decided I wanted to start. Having a strategy is just very helpful. She is down to three breastfeeding/bottle of breastmilk feeds right now at 12.5 months and she isn’t taking to cows milk. I tried mixing it with only 1/4 cow’s milk but I feel like I’m wasting so much breastmilk because she just won’t drink it. She loves water and breastmilk in her sippy cup but isn’t taking to milk. Do you have any suggestions? It definitely relaxes her to have her bottle before naps so it would be great to have something to give her. I may try water in a sippy cup before naps but water is fun and playful to her. Not relaxing.
One thing I’d try is putting the smallest splash of cow’s milk into her breast milk, does she notice? You could increase very slowly from there, once she adapts to the taste you may be able to increase more quickly!
I’m a little confused about “weaned by 12 months…” You say not to wean until 12 months, but to have a baby weaned “by” 12 months in this slow method, wouldn’t that insinuate that you’ve started before they’re 12 months old? I’ve been considering starting something with my daughter who is currently 9+ months. I wanted to go super slow to avoid any drama on her part or mine, but I feel like I’m getting mixed explanations from everywhere…
Starting around 9 months and taking your time is entirely your choice. Every situation is different. Most doctors and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend weaning at one year of age. This doesn’t mean it has to have happened by the time your baby turns one, just that they recommend that you wean them somewhere around that time.
Hi, I have a 12 month old daughter. I’ve been able to wean her off all daytime feeds. Trying to wean off the bedtime feed now. She has been ebf since the beginning. No formula at all. I’m trying to give her cows milk in the day now but she has very little at a time.
My problem is that shes been taking a LOT of night feedings. Some nights she feeds almost ALL NIGHT LONG. does this mean I weaned her too early? I can’t believe it could be constant teething. What am I doing wrong? And how do I make her feed less and let all of us sleep more?
Hmm, did you try blending the breast milk and cows milk when she’s drinking it from a cup? It sounds like she’s making up for those calories at night.
Hi. I have decided to partially wean my 10 month old as i am returning to work soon. I breastfeed morning and bedtime and give formula during the day. It it ok to give the formula during the day in just a straw sippy cup? Is there anything wrong with taking all their milk/formula from a sippy cup? My little ones drinks it very well from a straw cup- or should i be offering a bottle instead? Thanks in advance
There’s no developmental reason why they need to continue on a bottle, the only concern would be if they didn’t drink enough from a straw cup.
How do I re-wean a 22 month old who started breast feeding again when a new baby arrived? She is now refusing cows milk which she previously loved! She selfweaned at 15 months the first time round.