Learn how and when to wean off breast milk whether your baby is 1 year old, 15-months-old, or a toddler. OT and mom shares tricks for gently transitioning to milk, stopping nursing to sleep, and other weaning challenges.
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As an OT, I have shared lots of baby and toddler milestone tutorials over the years, including How to Wean from a Bottle.
The topics of feeding and eating can be complicated and stressful for many parents, no matter the age of your child. But when you have a baby or toddler, it can feel even more complex because of how much information is out there.
Weaning from breastfeeding is one area where there are a lot of opinions, and let’s be honest- lots of conflicting advice. You’ve probably read all kinds of information or even gotten advice from friends or family members.
As a mom who has done it three times with my children that were exclusively breast-fed, I’m here to share with you my best advice on how to stop breastfeeding gently, safely, and appropriately.
My oldest, NEVER took a bottle, which was really stressful, and my third would only do it if he had to. So believe me, I know the stress that comes along with this.
Of course, I’m fully aware that this can be a bit of a controversial topic. So, let me say, right now, very clearly, that this post IS NOT about when a mother should stop nursing, although I will share some general info on the topic.
This post is about how to stop breastfeeding, when a mother and child are ready. Women have many different reasons for wanting to wean at various ages. I completely welcome constructive and helpful comments, but let’s be supportive of each other’s very personal decisions.
So whether you are wondering how to wean an 11, 12, 13, 14, 15-month-old, or even an older baby or toddler, read on to hear my best tricks as a mom and occupational therapist.
When to Stop Breastfeeding and Start the Weaning Process
I know I’m leading with the when, even though I just said it is a personal decision, and it is. But, I know many of you aren’t sure when you want to wean, so let me give you some objective information.
Many moms start to wean at 12 months, right around baby’s first birthday.
I will tell you this, around 15 months of age, children enter a new cognitive phase and begin to make strong associations or attachments. Nursing to this point could make it more difficult to wean with some of the strategies I’ll discuss here, but certainly not impossible.
I don’t say that to persuade you towards weaning earlier, but want you to be aware of all the information. While I also fully support mothers that decide to nurse longer, I will caution you to be aware of those feedings affecting consumption at solid food meals.
Some toddlers can handle having “nursings” throughout the day as they please and still sit down to eat their meals, but others fill up on milk and subsequently don’t transition to eating more food.
That can be a slippery slope, as I’ve seen many times. If toddlers don’t get the practice and exposure to eating foods, sometimes they can become very picky eaters throughout childhood. If you continue to nurse, I would encourage you to treat meals as a priority as well and be aware of how recently they have nursed.
Find out other reasons kids become picky here.
For a variety of reasons, I decided to wean my own children around one year old. They were 14, 12, and 13 months, respectively. It was a gentle process that was not traumatic for my children in any way.
I did not transition them to a bottle, because at those ages, they didn’t require one. And, if you are weaning over 12 months, I would recommend phasing out those feedings totally and not substituting with infant formula or milk in a bottle or sippy cup at those times.
If you are weaning before 12 months old, you will need to replace it with infant formula in a bottle or possibly a sippy cup. Check out my complete how-to guide for getting a nursing baby to take a bottle.
How to Stop Breastfeeding – at 1 year old, 14, 15, and even 18 months?
So how do you actually start to end breastfeeding? Well, it is a transition, so there may be a little bit of dancing back and forth on this as you make sure both you and your baby are comfortable.
While some babies naturally wean by going on a nursing strike, many need gentle support to make the transition.
If your baby is 8 months old or older, I would first recommend getting them onto a loose schedule, if they aren’t already. I’m not really concerned with specific times, but intervals or around routines.
For instance, with my third, I always nursed him when he woke up from his naps, the time changed but that routine didn’t. That allowed me to plan our meals in a structured way as well, which gave him exposure to foods and helped him develop an appetite for food, too.
(You’ll find links for sample schedules at the end of this section)
Once your baby or toddler is nursing at regular intervals and not on demand, you will choose one of those times to take away. This should be the easiest time of day, usually one of the nursings in the middle of the day.
Going about this process also allows your milk supply to gradually accommodate the change in schedule so that your milk production continues to match the demand.
Typically bedtime and early morning feeds are more difficult to phase out.
The first few days that you take away those feedings you will want to change the routine a little bit and have food and a drink in a cup ready to go. For instance, when I was taking away those after nap nursings,I would go into his room, pull open the blinds right away and start talking to him real silly to get him distracted.
I’d pick him up playfully and take him downstairs (he typically nursed in his dimly lit room quietly before going downstairs). All the while, I’d be saying, “It’s time for snack! I have your drink, too!”
There were a few times where he whined and pointed to the chair he normally nursed in. I would try once more to distract him and if that didn’t work, then I’d nurse him. That is part of the transition.
If another adult were here, I would have them get him out of his crib as well, which helped change things up.
Once I eliminated that first feeding, I would wait 3-7 days before I took away another feeding, depending on how slow I wanted that to go. Then, I would follow the same procedure. I would do that all the way until I was left with morning and night time nursings.
Morning was always easier to get rid of, so I would make sure I had breakfast completely ready, so he could eat right away.
Personally, I always decided to leave the bedtime nursing session for another month or so, but you don’t need to do that. That was more for me, as weaning each of my children was a very emotional time, and I knew I needed to not rush it.
Keeping that bedtime feeding gave me time to really take in those last days of our special connection. After about a month or so, I would make sure they had a really good dinner (serve a favorite food) or a late snack and then I would let Dad do the bedtime routine.
In all cases, my kids just let my husband put them to bed, as if they had never been nursed, while I sobbed in another room. My children were fine, and I knew, for me, for us, it was time.
To sum up what we’ve just talked about, and fill in some blanks, when you’re ready to wean, you’ll want to:
- Take away one feeding at a time
- Eliminate the easiest feedings first
- Offer a meal instead of nursing. All kids should eat every 2.5 – 3 hours, count from the start of one meal to the start of the next
- Give a cup at each meal, and place either breast milk or cow’s milk in the cup. I prefer a straw cup (see how to teach your baby to drink from a straw). From an OT and mom friendly perspective, I love these cups in particular: Playtex Sipsters, Munchkin Flex Straw, and Advent Straw Cup
- The first time you give cow’s milk, mix it with a 25-50% blend of breast milk. This will help them adjust digestively and to the taste. After a day or two of successful consumption, you can continue to add less and less breast milk until it is straight cow’s milk or toddler formula, if you choose.
- Prior to weaning, give your baby water at each meal, which will help them get used to having a drink. Have water available throughout the day in a cup that they have access to once you start serving milk with their meals. Some babies will want to have both at a meal, which is fine for a short transition period.
If you are looking for more specifics on feeding schedules, click on the ages you need: 6-7 months, 8-10 months, and 11 months plus for samples. These, too, are just a guideline, but should give you some direction. Adapt them as needed.
Troubleshooting Common Breast Weaning Roadblocks
Although stopping breastfeeding can be as easy as I just made it sound, sometime parents hit some roadblocks. I’m going to run through some common ones to help you troubleshoot.
With all of the suggestions below, know that it’s important to stay consistent and keep trying. All of my boys ended up loving cow’s milk, but it took a month or so before they were drinking it really well, usually by the time they were completely weaned from the breast.
Keep in mind that once a baby turns 1, they only require 16 ounces of a milk source.Read more here about how much milk your baby should drink.
- What if baby refuses a cup of any type:
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- Try and try again – every day, at every meal, put the milk in the cup and don’t pressure them. Offer it and even demonstrate, but don’t force. You can experiment with serving cold and warm if you like. If your toddler spits it out, that’s okay, it’s all part of the process.
- Try pumped milk – if you are willing and able, pump and offer that milk in the cup. It will seem foreign and some will likely be wasted, but some babies do better with the familiar taste.
- Focus on 2-3 different types of cups – cycle through a few different kinds of cups, maybe some with bright colors or a silly character on it.
- Water in a cup during the day – always have the water in a cup throughout the day. Give it to them in the car, in the bath, outside, wherever.
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- How to stop nursing to sleep:
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- Change up the routine (as described in the previous section)
- Transitional object – if your child doesn’t already have a special object like a stuffed animal or blanket, start encouraging one. Give it to them every time you are nursing, put it in their arms when you lie them down. Every time.
- Well-fed – I don’t want you to overly worry about this, so many parents do naturally, but it will give you peace of mind in knowing that their tummy is full. Serve a later dinner that is a favorite or a bedtime snack, where you can give milk in a cup. Knowing their well-fed will help you feel better if they protest a little and they will be less likely to request nursing.
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- Baby won’t stop nursing and crying:
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- Distract – while I urge you to not push your baby too fast, some will protest a little. This is when you’ll want to change gears and do something really exciting. I remember with my oldest, I always used to feed him on the couch in the middle of the day and I’d rearrange the pillows to support my arm. In the process of weaning, I started to do that just to straighten up and he saw me and thought it was time to nurse. He didn’t cry, but I quickly grabbed him and stood up, saying, “Oh my goodness, did you just hear that car go by?” We went over to the window to have a look and he forgot about it in a second.
- Offer another drink – without making to big of a deal about it, provide a drink instead, “Oh, here’s your water.” Notice, I didn’t ask, I just made a statement.
- Cuddles – give lots of these at other times, so they feel that connection with you still.
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Tips for success
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- Don’t feel rushed, watch for your child’s acceptance and adjustment.
- You may be emotional, this is normal. Make sure you are feeling comfortable with your decision.
- Don’t listen to other people’s opinions.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments, I’ll be happy to answer. And if you’ve been through this before, share your tips, it will be helpful to everyone that stops here.
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 19 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
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My baby is just 14months old and Its one week now since i stopped breastfeeding him.some times I feel bad when he cries trying to find the breast at one point I was tempted and had to breast feed him.what should I do.and he over feeds at night can it be controlled.
I think it can be really hard to go through this transition, and it’s fine to give in. My best advice is to trust your instincts and give him milk at his meals. I’d talk to your doctor as well, and consider when you’re comfortable weaning.
My 13 month old refuses both homo milk and expressed milk in a sippy cup (never took to a bottle either), but she will have her water or juice in a sippy. I have heard that milk is not the be all and end all for toddlers and it is okay to just give them water and make up for the milk with other dairy source. I would like to be done with breastfeeding, plus I am travelling soon without her! Thoughts?
This is definitely my personal opinion as well and most pediatricians will agree. I always encourage parents to follow their instincts, but follow up with your doctor regarding your plan.
Hi,
I am amom of 19 year old kid. My daughter always want breastmilk. Now it is like a comfort for her. Also she doesn’t eat much food. And people suggest me only once you stop breastfeeding her, she will start taking meals properly. She need breastmilk to sleep and in between sleep (daytime or night), she gets up for ‘n’ number of times for breastmilk. Even after a meal she comes to me for breastmilk. Sometimes before I tried distacting her from taking breastmilk by taking her out or showing something she likes. But in a minute or two she will start crying for breastmilk. She will not take formula or cow’s milk. And also I haven’t tried pumping milk yet.
I have read your post. Still I feel it will not be easy for me to stop breastfeeding my kid. Sometimes I feel irritated when she simply sucks the nipple. Please suggest me some solution to stop breastfeeding. Also I have plans to go to work asap.
I know this can be challenging! I would recommend starting to follow the suggestions provided in the post. It’s not always easy and takes a lot of consistently and patience. Be kind to yourself while you are starting this transition! 🙂
Thery helpfull article.I need help how to stop breast feading
my tweens.My daughters are 15 months old .And i stuck with a night feading.Maybe any ideas for tweens.the broblem is that I breast feeding them together because they are awake together.
Hi there,
Any ideas for my situation? I have a 10.5month old who only has only ever breastfed (never took to a bottle) and now my milk is seriously low, I don’t think he’s getting much at all. I’m only producing on one side and I can tell by the let down that it just isn’t much milk. He drinks water and eats foods well. I’m concerned about the milk/formula intake though as he’s still under a year. Should we be introducing whole milk in his cup now? I worry he’s not getting all the nutrients & vitamins that are in formula/breastmilk in the quantities that he needs for this stage. He also still wakes at 2/3 am every night for a feed – and I willingly give it to him as I’m wanting him to get as much milk as possible in a 24 hr period. Any advice please!
Thanks.
I would definitely check with your doctor, most recommend not doing cows milk until 12 months old. Your doctor may want you to supplement with formula, but definitely check with your doctor.
Hi there so my son will be 3 in Aug I’ve completely weened him from breastfeeding in the day night has been hell for me I’ve got him to able to fall asleep on my chest after like a hour struggle without feeding but he wakes up like 4-5 times a night I don’t know what to do he doesn’t like bottles or binkies I’ve tried giving him sippy cups with water in it and he freaks out hell just sit there and cry and cry and get mad so I’m having to give in to him after him sitting there crying for 10 mins becay I don’t want him to wake everyone else up in the house I’ve tried getting a blanket for him and a stuffed animal nothing is working do you have any ideas ?
Hey Morgan,
So sorry to hear you are going through this! I’d try to have someone else go in and comfort him. You are doing great by trying to provide a blanket or animal so I’d also stick with that to see if he can become attached to one and that may comfort him as well. With you going in, it makes it hard, because he can smell the milk too. Hope that helps!
Best,
Desiree
This is the most helpful article I’ve come across about weaning so thank you so much. I know you touched on timing being a personal decision however my question is, if I’m tryimg to be done nursing by 12 months, when should I start eliminating a feed? My baby won’t take breast milk in a cup or bottle but I will try offering it during meals more consistently as you suggested. I’m just worried that I’m not giving her enough breastmilk if I eliminate a feed during the day as she is currently 10 months old. I want to drop a feed every couple of weeks, hence why I was thinking of starting now. She eats table food really well.
I would definitely talk to your doctor if you want to start weaning before 12 months. The best suggestion will probably be to give your milk in a bottle following a meal. However, most doctors recommend waiting until they are one year of age, unless the child does it on their own.
Oh my goodness I wish I had found this earlier…. It would have put my mind at rest, such amazing advice here. I just have one question. I have been weaning bubs now for about a month and a half as I was worried I would get sore boobies, but now I am down to morning and night feeds only. Bubs is currently taking half a feed from me and I am topping up with formula, how do I know when to stop offering boobies? I don’t want to get mastitis (biggest fear of my life). Today is the first day she only got 5 sucks from me then a bottle. Boobs are a little tender tonight. Should I keep that up for 5 days (like I have every other change in feed) then stop completely? Any advice would be amazing =)
Sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job! I think if you continue on the same pace, you should be in really good shape. But I’d definitely check with your doctor too. In general, the slower you wean, the better chance you have of not having discomfort. I think mastitis is a pretty low risk at this point.
My granddaughter is 19 months and still needs to be breastfed once her mom comes from work
She enjoys it
I feel it is kind of attachemnt
My daughter claims she is not yet ready to wean her girl
But the girl is literally sitting or playing while feeding
She keeps on asking for milk which means her mom
Her daughter is a bit stubborn and i am afraid tit will be so hard on both of them soecially that it is so hard for her to fal asleep without breastfeeding and she refused her bed for more than 6 months now and sleeps beside her parents !!!!!
Do you think they are late
Will it be so hard for them
It’s possible it’s mainly attachment. To be honest this is such a controversial topic, that its really the mom’s choice. I’d encourage her to talk to her doctor if there’s any developmental or feeding concerns. There is still plenty of time to wean though:)
Hi Alisha, your article is fantastic such a great read! I’m really curious about weaning my 19month old. Do I wean him from breastmilk onto formula or cows milk? I only feed him twice a day now, He has 1 sleep a day where he also feeds to sleep and then again for bedtime where he will also feed to sleep usually. I’m so confused on how to stop I just want to cut out his day feed for now and keep his night feed but I’m not sure what to do.
You definitely don’t have to, there’s so many nutritional benefits to the breast milk- it’s really a personal decision. Some mom’s will pump and give the milk in a cup as well.
If you’re ready you can definitely take away the nap time feed, I’d follow the steps in the article for those times, they can be the trickiest!
My son is 15 months and has been exclusively breastfed. Now I have to go back to work and I’m having a hard time weaning him off!!! He drinks out of straw cups during the day but will not go down for naps or bed without breastfeeding. What can I do????
It will probably be different without you there and he’ll have to learn to go to sleep without. If he’s eating well at other meals you likely don’t have anything to worry about.
I know it’s scary though. You could also give him your milk in a cup before these times!
I have a situation no one seems to be able to help me with. My two children, 13 months and 3 years, won’t drink milk. They both drank breast milk from a bottle fine until 5 months (3yr boy) and 11 months(13 mo girl). Then began to refuse it. They were mommy or nothing at all! My son I weaned at 16 months and at the time he would eat plenty of other dairy products. Then about 18 months he began to be picky about what he ate. So much so that now he is in OT for picky eating. My 13 month old however has decided she doesn’t want dairy products (well she will eat cheese!) She used to eat yogurts and cottage cheese just fine, now nothing! I have tried cows milk and coconut milk with no luck. Also to note she won’t drink breast or cow milk from an open or straw cup. She will only drink water. We haven’t introduced juice at all. I even went as far as calling the cow/coconut milk juice. At first she seemed to like it, but now won’t take it. I am trying my son again on milk at the same time hoping maybe now was the chance. The doctors just say to keep trying. I’m ready to wean, but not if she won’t eat dairy. Tried warm/cold, different cups, other people giving with me not in the house. Any thoughts?
I am having this exact problem. Can you please tell me what you ended up doing? My baby will only drink water from her cup. When I offer her pumped milk she buries her head into my chest and cries which breaks my heart. I’m so worried she will not get enough calories/nutrients once I fully wean her since she refuses milk from a cup.
Thanks for this! Currently trying to phase out breastfeeding with my second who is a year. My trouble is she shares a room with her big sister and gets woken up by her occasionally. I just end up nursing her back to sleep. I’m kinda worried about how she’ll go back to sleep once we’re done. Ugh, I really wish we had more bedrooms?
You’ll get there, keep trying!
Hey there! I’m currently weaning my 12 month old and working on the before nap nursing. We have a routine and she’s great with solids. I’m just confused on if I should give her a cup with breast milk as if she’s still nursing? Whole milk? Snack? We just started mixing breast and whole milk for after her nap and water with meals, but maybe that should be switched? I’m lost!
Hi Nikki, I usually start to mix the milks, but its really your call. If you want to keep pumping you can keep her on just breast milk, I wouldn’t jump straight to cows milk though without mixing it first so her system has a chance to adjust. I hope this helps!
Hello! I have a complicated situation with my second baby boy. He’s a year and a half, so 18 months and I’m still breastfeeding on demand day and all night. I realize most of it is for comfort and he eats all of the food well. I am also co sleeping, he hates the crib and acts like it’s a punishment to be in there. How do I wean him and move him to his own bed? I’m stuck!
That’s really tough Nina! I’d start with using the steps in the post around day time meals. I don’t specialize in sleep, but there are a lot of approaches you can use like sitting in his room till he falls asleep, letting him sleep on just the matress, no crib, etc. It will take time for sure.
Thank you for the great tips! My daughter is 13 months and has slept through the night since she was 4 months. I have not slept through the night since she was born. I wake up twice a night to pump, if I don’t I’m in a lot of pain. I’m scared that if I stop the middle of the night pumping my supply will drop, but I’m also thinking it’s time. My only concern is I’m in a lot of pain that I can’t even get back to sleep unless I pump. Any tips would be appreciated.
I was there! I’d pump just enough to take the edge of and suffer through it for a few nights until I stopped producing so much. Hope that helps!