Some babies and toddlers have a hard time learning to eat solids, table, and finger foods. When they do there are some damaging myths that must be busted so they can learn to eat!
It’s not talked about a lot. I suppose it’s rooted in the fact that a lot of doctors and professionals aren’t trained in feeding delays. For many, when babies and/or toddlers don’t want to or can’t eat table foods, the most common response is, “They’ll grow out of it.”
As a pediatric OT that has had dozens and dozens of young children on their caseload, I can assure you this may not be the case.
But, what really irks me is that we don’t hear this advice when our kids aren’t talking or walking on time. Those challenges are often met with a swift referral for more help, or even concrete suggestions parents can use at home. I suppose part of the problem is that we all take eating for granted, assuming it always comes naturally.
We may not realize that eating is also a skill. While it’s true that for most babies chewing and eating all sorts of textures comes mostly from born instinct, there are some babies and toddlers that need more help. (Stay tuned for an awesome new freebie to show you how at the end of the post.)
And, to begin to help these sweet babes, we first need to bust a couple of myths that stand in the way of progress!
Myths About Babies/Toddlers that Can’t or Refuse to Eat Table Foods
These 5 myths are spread everywhere, mostly because they seem to make sense. We draw natural conclusions to either make sense out of why our babies and toddlers aren’t doing a basic skill of life: eating. Or, we follow main stream advice that works for some babies, but not those that need more help.
Learning why these common conclusions and advice are “myths” can put you in a position to help your baby eat new foods! Let’s take a look at 5 big ones:
Myth #1: “My baby/toddler doesn’t have teeth yet, so they can’t chew.”
This is one of those myths that tend to be drawn from our own conclusions. It stands to reason that if your child doesn’t have any teeth yet, then they can’t chew. But, the fact is that the vast majority of children get their four front teeth first, and those teeth don’t help us chew. Think about the last time you ate a meatball like a bunny rabbit at the front of your mouth.
Those front teeth do help take bites off of larger pieces of food, but they aren’t entirely necessary for that skill either.
Babies and toddlers should be chewing where there molars WILL BE, on the back of their gums. For most kids, those first molars don’t come in until 13 – 19 months old. See a teeth order chart by age here.
Those molars will ultimately help grind up even tougher foods, but for now their gums were built strong and can manage chewing.
If your baby or toddler doesn’t seem to know how to chew or isn’t getting their food mashed up enough when they are eating, then they may be having a hard time with any of the following:
- Moving the tongue from side to side (an important part of chewing, called tongue lateralization)
- Knowing how to chew, sequencing the steps together
- Having the needed jaw strength to bite down through their food
- Keeping their lips closed so food doesn’t fall out of their mouth while they are chewing
All of these skills, fall under what’s called oral-motor skills. Learn about Oral Motor Exercises.
Myth #2: Focus on soft foods
Again, another myth that seems to be common sense thinking. Before taking specialized feeding education, I believed this one too. A go to food for most parents is soft bananas. The thought is that if the food is super soft it will require almost no effort to chew and will thus be totally easy to eat.
While that works for some babies, others that are having a hard time learning how to eat seem to struggle even more with soft foods because:
- they are squishy and slip around their mouth easily, making it easy to lose track of and gag on,
- they are sensitive to textures and slimy or soft foods feel uncomfortable in their mouth and on their hands, and
- they have to be chewed a few times before they’re ready to be swallowed.
It may surprise you to learn that a crunchy food that melts quickly, like puffs, are actually better to focus on. The crunchy texture is often better for kids with a sensory sensitivity and it can be felt in their mouth easily. That means they can get it on their gums and munch down. Head to How to Transition to Table Foods to learn more.
Myth #3: Focus on mixed textures
I’m blaming this myth on the baby food industry, because stage 3 baby food products almost always contain regular baby food with chunks of food in it. Babies that eat stage 3 foods happily are often just swallowing everything down whole because sorting out the bits of food to chew is an advanced skill.
When babies and toddlers are having a hard time learning to eat table foods, those chunks can make them gag and even vomit. It’s usually best to avoid them until your child is eating a variety of textures separately.
Instead of moving to mixed textures, if a child likes pureed foods, I like to slowly thicken it over time, baby cereal works great. This requires their tongue to move more to swallow and they get used to swallowing a different texture, similar to chewed food.
An important reminder at this point is to always talk to your child’s doctor about any safety concerns or delays around eating your child may have.
Myth #4: Gagging is the same as choking
It’s scary when we see our babies gag, right? It is, even for me. But, gagging and choking are two different things. Gagging is when the food hits the gag reflex and their bodies instinctively gag to get the food out of the way before it’s stuck in our throat.
Choking is when a food is stuck in the throat. When this happens there is no noise. You’re child may look panicked, but they won’t wretch forward. This rarely happens, but it’s important to avoid these common chocking hazards. Gagging, on the other hand, is very common and happens occasionally for most babies and toddlers.
Because gagging is so scary, some parents understandably want to avoid it. Head to the Baby Gagging Guide for tips and find out if you should be concerned.
Unfortunately, that may mean they don’t get enough exposure to table foods. While frequent gagging can be a warning sign that there’s some underlying issues with table and finger foods, gagging sometimes does come with this age. Talk to your doctor about your concerns and you can check out an online child CPR class to help with peace of mind.
Myth #5: Don’t worry they’ll grow out of it
Yup, I want to address the most common and blatant myth parents often hear when their babies and toddlers aren’t taking to table foods: Don’t worry they’ll grow out of it. That may be true for some kids, although I haven’t personally witnessed it, but what I have seen is many young children that don’t get help when they are 1 years old will have feeding problems that evolve into extreme picky eating.
I’m beyond frustrated when I talk with a parent of a 7 year old that’s eating less than 10 foods and they tell me that they struggled to eat table foods for a long time. Of course, the parent reached out for help, but they were met with this dangerous myth.
Babies and toddlers actually were designed to learn to eat table foods between 8 and 11 months old. A natural instinct to chew is present in most kids at this age. If your child is falling in this age range, working on some specific strategies or getting more help (like with a feeding therapist) can actually help tremendously.
That’s not to say that chewing and eating can’t be taught once this window has closed, but it will likely take a little more time. This is why being proactive matters!
What is True about Babies and Toddlers Transitioning to Table Foods
It’s easy to worry about how much food your child is eating and if they’re getting enough to grow and learn everything they need to. While we want to see a gradual progression of more eating, we don’t want to see an over emphasis on table or finger foods before their first birthday.
Milk and formula are king until 12 months of age. And, even throughout the next year, milk or formula is usually an important part of the toddlers diet. Head to How Much Milk Does a 1 Year Old Need for more info.
Try to avoid calorie counting and focus on a positive eating environment, that’s on a schedule (here’s a sample feeding schedule for 1 year olds and up).
Free 5 Big Feeding Mistakes That Are Stopping Your Child From Learning to Eat Table Foods Workshop
If your baby or toddler is struggling to learn how to eat table foods, it can be totally devastating. The problem just doesn’t seem to go away. While I hope you gained some great insights and suggestions in this post, I’ve got a lot more coming next week in my brand new and totally free workshop: 5 Big Feeding Mistakes That Are Stopping Your Child From Learning to Eat Table Foods Workshop.
I’m going to reveal my unique 5 step plan with you and I’ll send a free workbook to your inbox!
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 14 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
Hi,
My baby is now 20 months he dont eat solid food, no finger food he vomits the solid food if we forcefully give me
Hey,
Thanks for reaching out! So sorry your little one is not eating any table foods. I’d try to offer him meltables (ie: puffs, yogurt melts, graham crackers) as these are the easiest for chewing/eating as they do melt in your mouth. We have a free workshop that will be really helpful in providing some other tips and advice. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Alisha,
My almost 4 year old with Down Syndrome will only eat purées. We have been to several OT’s, Speech PathologistS, Psychologists, feeding teams…the list goes on and on. and to make matters worse no one can seem to help. They just keep referring us to new specialist.
Can you please help? We live in Cincinnati, Ohio but I am willing to travel wherever we need to, in order to get the help Kyle needs.
Thank you,
Hey Lori,
Thanks for reaching out to us! Is there any table food that he is able to actually chew/swallow, or is he only swallowing pureed foods? If it is only purees, I’d try to be introducing “metlable” foods such as puffs, veggie straws, etc, as these are the easiest. We do have a free workshop that is geared for younger children to transition off of purees, but I think you will still get some helpful tips in the workshop as well. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
My 18 month old does not consistently eat anything. He refuses to be fed, and throws most of the foods offered into the floor. I’m feeling so stressed. His intake is heavily reliant on breast milk still. He wants only water in his cup to drink. He is offered a large variety of table foods, but mostly plays with them and throws in the floor. He more consistently eats pastas, Cheerios, tiny strawberry pieces, avocado, diced canned beets, shredded cheese. But, some days he may refuse to eat anything but a few tiny bites, like literally 3 Cheerios or similar some days. I offer food before offering breast milk to encourage more intake. I spoke with his pediatrician, but didn’t really get anywhere.
Hey Michelle,
So sorry you are having a hard time with your little one, we understand how hard this time can be and how stressful mealtimes can get. I’d first try to remove all pressure from meals to see how your little one responds. This can be huge for some kids. We all want our kids to eat, so they can feel the stress of wanting them to eat as well as us providing that pressure. We have a free workshop that I think will be helpful for you on some great tips! You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
20 month old twins
Our twins will not eat finger food at all they play with food comfortably but just squeeze squash tare appart then throw on the floor no attempt at placing in their mouths if you try to feed them they turn away and refuse .
They eat pureed baby foods and home made meals cut small like spag bol but anything dry they will not touch it’s becoming concerning they were 5 weeks prem and had Ng tubes for a couple of weeks when first born
Unsure what to do
Hey David,
Thanks for reaching out to us! So sorry you are having difficulties, but sounds like you are doing a great job at providing them opportunities for touching and playing with the food, this is a great start. I’d make sure you are modeling what the food is for and over exaggerating chewing and putting it in your mouth. We do also have a free workshop that is full of great information for transitioning to table foods. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
My 17 month son will only eat puréed baby food, any kind of crackers, egos, pop tarts, baby cereal, the toddler snack bars. . I e been trying table foods for months but he still gags on it. Sometimes if he just touches something he will gag. He finally plays with noodles without gagging but won’t eat them. He picks things up really well. Help!
Hey Autumn,
We can understand how hard this is! I’d keep on working on getting him to play and touch the foods (this is the first step to eating). We do have a free workshop that will also help with what to do and how to help. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
My son is the same way and is 17 months. Any luck yet?
My 1 year old granddaughter will not pick up anything other than her toys. Tried to get her to pick up little pieces of food. She also gags when eating anything with any texture. Tried some of the toddler meals, she will lick the juice off the food and then spit out the food. WIC indicates she should be eating people food. Her doctor says to just work with her.
Hey Marie,
Sorry to hear your granddaughter is having trouble. Sounds like she is having a sensory reaction to foods, I’d make sure to try to do some sensory play in bins outside of meals to see if she will be able to touch different textures and see her reaction. We have a free workshop that walks you through some steps to work on getting them to eat and what to do when they are gagging as well. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hello my son just turned one yesterday. I’ve been trying solid table foods since he was 8 months or so. He gags on everything. It’s to the point it seems like he knows he is going to gag so he turns his head. He plays with it all when I give it to him. Smooshes it, picks it up, throws it. I give him a spoon and a bowl with his thickened purées. He is getting better using the spoon, but the only thing he puts in his mouth is his fingers. Or his bottle. He only chews on the nipple. He had a tongue tie when he was born but we had it corrected at 2 weeks. I’m at a loss what to do. Everyone judges me he doesn’t eat it. And my MIL tells me he will just grow out of it. And my doctor just seems to shrug it off but his appointments are like a couple weeks behind when they should be. What else can I do 😭 do I just keep offering him food and letting him play with it?
Hey Heather!
It can be really difficult when our little ones refuse to eat table food. You are right on track, continuing to offer the food and letting him play with it is great! You might also try to imitate an exaggerated chewing of the food. Sometimes that can help babies figure out what to do. We also have a free Table Foods Workshop that might be a great fit for you. You can save your seat HERE. Please reach out if you have any questions!
Best,
Andrea
I need help with my almost 10 month old. He takes purées great, but anything beyond that and we hit a wall. Even things like mashed potatoes, gerber puffs and teething crackers are a no go. He can pick up food and put it in his mouth but as soon as it hits his throat, he gags and throws up. It isn’t an occasional things. It happens every single time. I have asked 3 different doctors and they both tell me “he will grow out of it, just keep trying”. But I’m starting to feel like he needs more help and this won’t get solved with time. Should I be considering getting him evaluated by someone some?
Hey Shannon,
So glad you reached out! I’d try working on brushing his gums or teeth throughout the day, this can actually decrease the gag reflex. We do have an article full of great info on it that you can read here.
Also, we do have a free workshop that I think would help that is full of great information to help getting into that transitioning to table foods! Save your seat here
Best,
Desiree
Hello, I have a 13 months old boy. He refuses to eat every solid food. He doesnt like anything. He only wants to drink formula from the bottle. While we are trying to feed him with spoon he always closes his mouth and turn his head. Sometimes I put finger food on his table but only thing that he does throwing all the food on the floor. I went lots of doctors but the problem has never been solved. I cant able to attend your course because I dont live in Us. I need your help 🙁
Hey Pinar, I’m so sorry that no one is helping you with answers! But am glad that you are reaching out! Seems like you are trying some good things for your son! All of our workshops are online. I do think you’d get great advice from our free workshop that helps to move a child from bottle or purees to tablefood! You can Save Your Seat Here
Best,
Desiree
Hey Pinar,
Did you find any solution to this? My 12 month old is having the same issue now and behaves exactly like yours.
I’m struggling with a 9 month old who is a challenge to feed. She never had much of an appetite for breastfeeding or bottles, developed aversions to both, and it took until 7 months to get her drinking well. Solids started off well, but then she started fighting purées so once she started sitting we moved to finger foods which she loved at first. Now she fights both. We can only successfully feed her if she is incredibly distracted (she does well at restaurants) and I have to give her a puff or drink of water in between bites of food. Otherwise she eats just a bite or two and then throws a fit. Every meal ends in tears. She had been eating eggs, avocado, cheese, toast, yogurt, broccoli, blueberries, fish, carrots, and banana oatmeal. We used to have some really good meals here and there but now she barely eats, mostly only puffs, and it’s been almost a couple months now. It’s like she’s regressed. What could be going on? Can you recommend any resources? We’ve already seen a therapist and GI to rule out anatomical issues.
My daughter is 17 months. She refused to eat table food. She will only eat little snacks, or nuggets and fries. I have to blend home made oatmeal or creme and wheat with baby food in a blender in a blender and give it to her in a bottle . It’s like she is afraid of food. She will look at like she wants some but when I try to feed it to her she runs. Is this something I should be worried about? I’m just afraid she’s not getting the proper nutrients etc… I’m a first time mom btw! I ask the doctor and they said she will eventually eat it. I asked about her weight and she said it is perfectly fine. She weighs 23-24 pounds
Hi Mary,
We get your worry as you always want to make sure your child is growing and healthy!! I’d recommend trying to do some food play outside of mealtimes to get her used to touch and getting her comfortable with foods (touching is the first step towards eating). Also, check out our free workshop for helping your child transition to table foods. Save your seat here
I have a 9 month old who won’t let us put anything in his mouth, which means he doesn’t really eat baby food at all. He puts toys in his mouth all day long and is finally starting to put some table foods in his mouth, but only occasionally and only certain foods. He will eat the teething crackers that basically dissolve once in the mouth. Is this cause for concern yet? Or do I just keep offering him table foods and hope that he learns to take more of an interest in it?
I’d keep an eye on it Courtney, but those are some red flags. I’m sorry I’m just getting to this comment, were you in the free workshop on the 8th?
I need help with my 17 and a half month old son I’ve been to his dr about this problem and she said she sent a referral to speech therapist it’s been almost 3 months and we still have not heard anything and according to my neighbor every week someone quits, my son is really good at chewing but he will not swallow table food hes still on babyfood stage 2 because of this problem I’ve tried so many things he will chew it up really good wont swallow and will hold it in his mouth for few hours or it takes me putting my finger in his mouth to remove the food only table food he does good on is mashed potatoes and gravy but the taters cant have any lumps or skins otherwise he starts choking or gagging not sure which one his face turns dark red hes making funny noises and starts vomiting, sometimes he does good with chips other times he will chew it up and spit it out and with cereal, I don’t know what else to do to help him I’ve even put food on his tray in high chair he wont eat it hes great at picking things up with his hands but very seldom will he put it in his mouth, who does he need to see for help? Does anyone have any advice on what to do
Hey Courtney,
I can understand where you are coming from and have heard this a lot. You are not alone! For a referral you would either need a SP or an OT depending on where you are. You can read about therapy services here. Also, I’d recommend one of our free workshops!! It goes over how to transition from baby food and what steps you need to take. You can save your seat here
I’m praying you can give me advice. We’ve met with the doctor and he said just give him more time. My almost 13 month old will only eat about 5-6 oz of puree baby food a day. He also will only pick stuff up off the tray and throw it. He will not put it to his mouth. Toys yes, cups and food nope. We have tried all kinds of different foods. If we put table food to his mouth he will continue to move his tongue until he can worm it back out of his mouth. He will eat the baby food but I don’t think he’s chewing? Help!
Jennifer, I’m so sorry, I know how stressful that can be. I will say that I believe in being aggressive with feeding issues because they can snowball into something better. I’d recommend getting an OT eval for sure. I’d also head over to How to Transition to Table Foods and look for the free printable!
Hey!! My 15 month old bit is doing the EXACT same thing as what you wrote here! I’m curious to know what ended up happening with your baby since it’s been a while now? How did you end up working it out? I put a puff on his tray yesterday and he face planted into it with his mouth open, it went in his mouth and it just sat on his tongue as he gagged and gagged and gagged until he vomited it out. He wont chew it. He will only eat baby puree but yes doesn’t chew the baby puree just swallows it! Please share 🙂 thank you so much!
Hey Felicia,
It can be so stressful when our kiddos don’t eat and especially when they start gagging and vomiting! Sometimes breaking the puffs in half and then demonstrating an exaggerated chew can be helpful. If you feel like your kiddo isn’t eating enough, reach out to his doctor! You might also check out our post, Teach Your Toddler to Chew.
Best,
Andrea
Hi, I have an 11 month old who loves all pureed baby foods and chews on toys but refuses to eat any table/finger/solid foods. When would you recommend seeing a therapist? Thanks!
Those are great skills that she does have, but yes if she’s refusing by this age, I’d get her checked out because it can snowball:)
Are you able to help with my 9 year old that has never “grown” out of it, I’m at my wits end and don’t know what to do
Have you checked out my free picky eating workshop: 3 Keys to Finally Turning Your Picky Eater Around. The workshop gives you the 3 steps that are a foundation for getting things headed in the right direction. You can sign up here.