Some babies and toddlers have a hard time learning to eat solids, table, and finger foods. When they do there are some damaging myths that must be busted so they can learn to eat!
It’s not talked about a lot. I suppose it’s rooted in the fact that a lot of doctors and professionals aren’t trained in feeding delays. For many, when babies and/or toddlers don’t want to or can’t eat table foods, the most common response is, “They’ll grow out of it.”
As a pediatric OT that has had dozens and dozens of young children on their caseload, I can assure you this may not be the case.
But, what really irks me is that we don’t hear this advice when our kids aren’t talking or walking on time. Those challenges are often met with a swift referral for more help, or even concrete suggestions parents can use at home. I suppose part of the problem is that we all take eating for granted, assuming it always comes naturally.
We may not realize that eating is also a skill. While it’s true that for most babies chewing and eating all sorts of textures comes mostly from born instinct, there are some babies and toddlers that need more help. (Stay tuned for an awesome new freebie to show you how at the end of the post.)
And, to begin to help these sweet babes, we first need to bust a couple of myths that stand in the way of progress!
Myths About Babies/Toddlers that Can’t or Refuse to Eat Table Foods
These 5 myths are spread everywhere, mostly because they seem to make sense. We draw natural conclusions to either make sense out of why our babies and toddlers aren’t doing a basic skill of life: eating. Or, we follow main stream advice that works for some babies, but not those that need more help.
Learning why these common conclusions and advice are “myths” can put you in a position to help your baby eat new foods! Let’s take a look at 5 big ones:
Myth #1: “My baby/toddler doesn’t have teeth yet, so they can’t chew.”
This is one of those myths that tend to be drawn from our own conclusions. It stands to reason that if your child doesn’t have any teeth yet, then they can’t chew. But, the fact is that the vast majority of children get their four front teeth first, and those teeth don’t help us chew. Think about the last time you ate a meatball like a bunny rabbit at the front of your mouth.
Those front teeth do help take bites off of larger pieces of food, but they aren’t entirely necessary for that skill either.
Babies and toddlers should be chewing where there molars WILL BE, on the back of their gums. For most kids, those first molars don’t come in until 13 – 19 months old. See a teeth order chart by age here.
Those molars will ultimately help grind up even tougher foods, but for now their gums were built strong and can manage chewing.
If your baby or toddler doesn’t seem to know how to chew or isn’t getting their food mashed up enough when they are eating, then they may be having a hard time with any of the following:
- Moving the tongue from side to side (an important part of chewing, called tongue lateralization)
- Knowing how to chew, sequencing the steps together
- Having the needed jaw strength to bite down through their food
- Keeping their lips closed so food doesn’t fall out of their mouth while they are chewing
All of these skills, fall under what’s called oral-motor skills. Learn about Oral Motor Exercises.
Myth #2: Focus on soft foods
Again, another myth that seems to be common sense thinking. Before taking specialized feeding education, I believed this one too. A go to food for most parents is soft bananas. The thought is that if the food is super soft it will require almost no effort to chew and will thus be totally easy to eat.
While that works for some babies, others that are having a hard time learning how to eat seem to struggle even more with soft foods because:
- they are squishy and slip around their mouth easily, making it easy to lose track of and gag on,
- they are sensitive to textures and slimy or soft foods feel uncomfortable in their mouth and on their hands, and
- they have to be chewed a few times before they’re ready to be swallowed.
It may surprise you to learn that a crunchy food that melts quickly, like puffs, are actually better to focus on. The crunchy texture is often better for kids with a sensory sensitivity and it can be felt in their mouth easily. That means they can get it on their gums and munch down. Head to How to Transition to Table Foods to learn more.
Myth #3: Focus on mixed textures
I’m blaming this myth on the baby food industry, because stage 3 baby food products almost always contain regular baby food with chunks of food in it. Babies that eat stage 3 foods happily are often just swallowing everything down whole because sorting out the bits of food to chew is an advanced skill.
When babies and toddlers are having a hard time learning to eat table foods, those chunks can make them gag and even vomit. It’s usually best to avoid them until your child is eating a variety of textures separately.
Instead of moving to mixed textures, if a child likes pureed foods, I like to slowly thicken it over time, baby cereal works great. This requires their tongue to move more to swallow and they get used to swallowing a different texture, similar to chewed food.
An important reminder at this point is to always talk to your child’s doctor about any safety concerns or delays around eating your child may have.
Myth #4: Gagging is the same as choking
It’s scary when we see our babies gag, right? It is, even for me. But, gagging and choking are two different things. Gagging is when the food hits the gag reflex and their bodies instinctively gag to get the food out of the way before it’s stuck in our throat.
Choking is when a food is stuck in the throat. When this happens there is no noise. You’re child may look panicked, but they won’t wretch forward. This rarely happens, but it’s important to avoid these common chocking hazards. Gagging, on the other hand, is very common and happens occasionally for most babies and toddlers.
Because gagging is so scary, some parents understandably want to avoid it. Head to the Baby Gagging Guide for tips and find out if you should be concerned.
Unfortunately, that may mean they don’t get enough exposure to table foods. While frequent gagging can be a warning sign that there’s some underlying issues with table and finger foods, gagging sometimes does come with this age. Talk to your doctor about your concerns and you can check out an online child CPR class to help with peace of mind.
Myth #5: Don’t worry they’ll grow out of it
Yup, I want to address the most common and blatant myth parents often hear when their babies and toddlers aren’t taking to table foods: Don’t worry they’ll grow out of it. That may be true for some kids, although I haven’t personally witnessed it, but what I have seen is many young children that don’t get help when they are 1 years old will have feeding problems that evolve into extreme picky eating.
I’m beyond frustrated when I talk with a parent of a 7 year old that’s eating less than 10 foods and they tell me that they struggled to eat table foods for a long time. Of course, the parent reached out for help, but they were met with this dangerous myth.
Babies and toddlers actually were designed to learn to eat table foods between 8 and 11 months old. A natural instinct to chew is present in most kids at this age. If your child is falling in this age range, working on some specific strategies or getting more help (like with a feeding therapist) can actually help tremendously.
That’s not to say that chewing and eating can’t be taught once this window has closed, but it will likely take a little more time. This is why being proactive matters!
What is True about Babies and Toddlers Transitioning to Table Foods
It’s easy to worry about how much food your child is eating and if they’re getting enough to grow and learn everything they need to. While we want to see a gradual progression of more eating, we don’t want to see an over emphasis on table or finger foods before their first birthday.
Milk and formula are king until 12 months of age. And, even throughout the next year, milk or formula is usually an important part of the toddlers diet. Head to How Much Milk Does a 1 Year Old Need for more info.
Try to avoid calorie counting and focus on a positive eating environment, that’s on a schedule (here’s a sample feeding schedule for 1 year olds and up).
Free 5 Big Feeding Mistakes That Are Stopping Your Child From Learning to Eat Table Foods Workshop
If your baby or toddler is struggling to learn how to eat table foods, it can be totally devastating. The problem just doesn’t seem to go away. While I hope you gained some great insights and suggestions in this post, I’ve got a lot more coming next week in my brand new and totally free workshop: 5 Big Feeding Mistakes That Are Stopping Your Child From Learning to Eat Table Foods Workshop.
I’m going to reveal my unique 5 step plan with you and I’ll send a free workbook to your inbox!
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 14 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
My 19 month old son won’t eat anything finger foods, he still gags on textured food and only drinks milk, won’t drink any other drinks or out of a different cup.
Stacey,
If you haven’t already, check out out free transitioning to table foods workshop. If you’re in the US, you also will qualify for early intervention services under the age of 3. Since he’s not eating any solids, I’d ask your pediatrician about this as well!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi, my grandchild is 2 now and will only
Drink a pediatric formula from a bottle while laying on her back. She has an OT, and a Pt. Any hopeful help?
Hi Cindy, start with our free table food workshop to see if there is a cause you might be missing. Happy to answer questions once you check that out!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi my 20 month old will only eat puréed food mixed with baby cereal. She wont eat puffs, yogurt melts, teething cracker etc. she will chew on toys and blocks. She will put a puff or yogurt melt in her mouth occasionally but will spit it out almost immediately.
Hi Katie! Thanks for reaching out! First, we always recommend discussing any concerns with your pediatrician, who can make sure everything else is okay in terms of your child’s health and eating. Your Doctor could also potentially refer you to a feeding/occupational therapist for more hands on help. Next, because she prefers purées and tends to spit out food, it could be that she has difficulty chewing/swallowing and needs extra help with sensory and her oral motor skills. Try some exercises to help with this! Brush the insides of her mouth in between meals, sip from straws, make silly faces. For sensory, allow her to touch/feel/play with her food. Remember to promote a no-pressure environment with mealtime. Lastly, we have a free table food workshop that can help make transitioning to solids much easier! Save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
My 14month old will eat puffs, crackers and cookies but refuses all other table foods. I know she can eat them but she just won’t. We try offering over and over, showing her how to chew and eating with her. But she just spits it out or won’t even try
Hi Ali! Thanks for reaching out! Since she is comfortable eating puffs and other snacks, it sounds like it could be a sensory thing. Allow her to touch/feel/play with her food and practice feeding herself. You may even try some oral motor exercises that can help strengthen her oral muscles and desensitize her gag reflex- use a toothbrush to brush inside her mouth, make silly faces, blow raspberries, etc. We have a free printable you can sign up for here that offers more tips for table foods!
Best,
Kalyn
My daughter is 3 yrs old. She eats mashed potatoes, bacon, puree foods, puffs, cereal like cheerios and lucky charms, anything pureed or crunchy but I run out of options she wont try anything else. Gags just touching mushy type stuff or slimy like lunch meat. She will eat cake but has to be mashed with apple sauce if you hand her a small bite of it alone she will put it in her mouth but then gag. She has always had a bottle aversion due to acid reflux/gerda. Once under control she had no acid issue but still had bottle aversion. She gave her bottle up at 9 months and start using a straw cup instead and baby food for more calories. So it’s been a long journey. What can I do to help her eat more varieties or if you have any classes. Thank you
Hi Jennifer! Thanks for reaching out! It sounds like she could have some sensory/oral motor issues that she needs more practice with. For sensory, allow her to touch/feel/play with her food. Utilize a no-pressure environment, where you don’t force her to eat anything. For her oral motor skills, try using a baby toothbrush to brush the insides of her mouth. This will help desensitize her gag reflux and strengthen her oral muscles, which is what she uses to chew/swallow solids. We do have a free picky eating workshop, which you can save your seat for here!
Best,
Kalyn
My 15 month old has refused to eat solids since he was 11 months. I was introducing finger foods around that time, but alongside purees/mashes. He started refusing a meal here or there and now wont open his mouth or feed himself. He will chew and spit out baby biscuits, that’s all.
Hi Billy! Thanks for reaching out! First, we always recommend discussing any concerns with your pediatrician, who can make sure everything else is okay in terms of your child’s health and eating. Next, because he tends to spit out his food, it could be that he has difficulty chewing/swallowing and needs extra help with sensory and his oral motor skills. Try some exercises to help with this! Brush the insides of his mouth in between meals, sip from straws, make silly faces. For sensory, allow him to touch/feel/play with his food. Remember to promote a no-pressure environment with mealtime. Lastly, we have a free table food workshop that can help make transitioning to solids much easier! Save your seat here!
Best,
Kalyn
Hello,
My daughter is 2.5 and was 9 weeks prem born 1kg – feeding has always been a struggle she was tube feed then refused breast so formula fed. From day one we have forced feeding her and always concerned about her growth. Up until a week ago we were spoon feeding her main meals – she is disinterested in table foods. Now we have decided to go to table foods as she is refusing the spoon feeding. Issue is she refuses most things we put out and she is going to bed hungry. We are stressed and struggling, constantly reading up on techniques of “she will eat when she’s hungry” I’m so worried we are going to end up in hospital again. What can I do if she refuses almost everything we put out? Do we hang in there or go back to spoon feeding?
Hey Age,
Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you guys have had quite the feeding journey. We know if can be so tough on a family. Big hugs!! We’d actually suggest continuing to use purees and the few table foods she has started eating. Adding in a pre-dipped spoon for her to try to feed herself is also a great option. Our free picky eating workshop would be a great fit for your family to hopefully help you turn your mealtimes into more of a positive. You can save your seat HERE. Please let us know if you have any questions at all and we’d be happy to answer them 🙂
Best,
Andrea
Hi my son will be 1 on september 27th in 9 days and he REFUSES to eat anything more textured than stage 2 baby food. He loves his baby food and chews on his toys but that’s it. Anytime I offer something thicker or solid he will gag so hard he projectile vomits everywhere I’ve tried everything like puffs, yogurt bites, mashed potatoes, mashed peas I’ve tried feeding him in his high chair in the living room I’ve tried feeding him off of my plate I’ve let him play with the food I’ve done everything and he stills gags super hard if it even touches the top of his tongue also he doesn’t chew? I read that between 8 and 11 months? That most babies are doing a chewing motion? He only did that for 2 days when he was 9 months and then he just stopped and hasn’t done it since I feel like there may be something really wrong also his tonsils were “just a tiny bit bigger than normal” when I had them look at them when he was 9 months old I’ve been trying since he was 8 1/2 months old his doctor and his doctors nurse tell me he will grow out of it
Hey,
Thanks for reaching out to us and so happy that you did. I’d make sure to read through this article on Gagging as this helps you understand why the gagging is there and some tips to help when they have an over sensitive gag reflex. Also we do have a free workshop to help with transitioning to table foods. You can save your seat HERE
Best,
Desiree
Hi, my son is almost 11 month old And is having the same issues.he will eat mash potato like foods but wants nothing to do with puffs, yogurt melts, teething biscuits, etc. I see that you wrote this over a year ago. How is your son doing now? I’m seeing a feeding therapist on Monday.
Hey Veronica,
That’s great that he is eating thicker table foods like mashed potatoes! Chewing crunchier foods can sometimes be tricky for little ones to get the hang of! We’re so glad you’re getting the help he needs by seeing a therapist! I’d also suggest you check out our guide to teaching little ones to chew. It would be a great help!
Best,
Andrea
Hi my son is going through the same situation in need of help to get him started any information can help.
Hey Yaritza,
So sorry that your son is struggling with gagging and transitioning to table foods. Often times gagging is a sensory response when food feels uncomfortable to them. Our free table foods workshop would be a great fit for you guys. You can save your seat HERE. Reach out with any questions!
Best,
Andrea