Clothing sensory issues can be exhausting! Learn why kids may have a sensory sensitivity, how to help your kid who refuses to wear clothes, get ideas for sensory friendly clothing.
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I’m standing in the kitchen trying to enjoy the hot coffee that just spit out of my Keurig and I wince when I hear my son, crying in the distance. As a pediatric occupational therapist I know it’s because of sensory issues with clothing.
Two minutes ago, he left the kitchen to get dressed for school. As I climb the stairs, I take a deep breath to brace myself with loads of patience because I know what the scene will be when I open his bedroom door…
Just as I suspected, he’s standing there in his underwear, hardly able to talk because he’s crying so hard with pants strewn all over the place on the floor.
I bend down in front of him and tell him to take a deep breath, and then he says, “I can’t wear pants, I hate the way they feel on my legs.” I give him a tight hug, (which is calming proprioceptive input to his sensory system) and then I say, “Don’t worry, we’ll work it out.”
I’d like to share my insider OT tricks with YOU, I’ve got 13 of them, but first let’s figure out if your kid has sensory issues with clothing too!
Does my Child Have Sensory Issues with Clothing?
This story about my son and I may sound all too familiar to you. The fact is that a lot of kids are particular about what kinds of clothing they wear. It could be their socks, pants, or a preference to wear no clothing at all!
This is quite different from the child that refuses to wear anything other than blue or to always be in a dress because they like to twirl.
What I’m talking about is way more than a style preference. Instead, it’s about refusing to wear clothing because of how it feels. If your child is demanding to wear or not wear certain clothing because of a seam, particular fit, or type of fabric, then it’s likely because of their sensory system.
All of us have some sensory quirks, maybe your child likes to wear their socks inside out or always have a dress on. While that’s related to their unique sensory system, if it’s not causing stress in their daily life it’s a preference not an issue.
For kids that freak out, tantrum, and meltdown over wearing clothing then they likely do have sensory issues with clothing.
Don’t hit the panic button though, because there’s a lot you can do to support your child and stop all the drama getting or staying dressed.
And, there’s even more strategies you can use to improve their sensory processing so they aren’t as sensitive to various clothing anymore!
Why Kids Have Sensory Issues with Clothing…
Lots of kids, like my son, have a sensory sensitivity to certain types of textures and no diagnosis. Sensory issues with clothing are specifically related to our sense of touch or the tactile system, which is 1 of the 8 senses.
For my son, his brain is getting so many signals that the pants are on his legs, that it’s hard for him to focus on anything else. He perceives this as uncomfortable and begins to cry at the thought of wearing those pants.
Most kids that have sensory issues with clothing will often react this way. In fact, it could even be full-out sensory meltdowns over trying to put on a pair of socks, even special sensory friendly socks you bought!
As parents, it’s frustrating and exhausting. It can also be hard to understand why they can’t just put the pants on. We may even force them to.
But, our kids are literally yelling out because those pants might be downright painful. It may seem dramatic, but they are actually perceiving the clothing differently than you or I would.
They aren’t being bad when they refuse to wear jeans, socks, or pants, it’s simply how their brain works, and they don’t quite know how to put that into words.
Clothing Sensory Issues = Tactile Defensive
Also, many kids that have sensory issues with clothing also don’t like to get messy or are particular about what they will touch and perhaps even eat.
That’s because all of those activities are related to the tactile sense, when there’s a general sensitivity with touching textures a child likely is tactile defensive.
Depending on how severe the tactile defensiveness is, if there are other sensory sensitivities, or any other sensory issues, a child may have Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).
Is it Common for Kids with ADHD and ASD to Have Clothing Sensory Issues
It is common for sensory issues with clothing to pop up for kids with ADHD and Autism. That’s because a very high percentage of kids with these diagnoses also have Sensory Processing Disorder.
Sensory issues show up in a lot of different ways, but these clothing sensitivities seem to be particularly common with ADHD and autism.
However, as an OT I’d use the same strategies (that you’ll learn below) to help a kid that’s refusing to wear clothes whether they had no diagnosis, ADHD, SPD, or Autism because the underlying cause is the same regardless!
How to Manage Your Kid’s Sensory Issues with Clothing?
First, let’s talk about how to handle sensory issues with clothing on a daily basis. Basically, what you can start doing right now! (In the next section I’ll teach you some deeper strategies to improve their clothing sensitivity.)
Step #1: Be Understanding
This may sound like a small detail, but don’t overlook this step because this is what helps us keep our sanity. When you find yourself getting frustrated or exhausted by your kid’s sensory issues with clothing, try to imagine how uncomfortable it must be for them.
Remember, it is likely painful. They aren’t being bad.
The added benefit to this is that over time, your kid will notice your understanding and start to communicate better because they know you get it and are there for them.
Instead of freaking out, they may think, “I need mom/dad/grandma, they’ll help me.” And, voila, meltdown avoided. That’s half the battle!
Step #2: Don’t Force
Oh so tempting, but forcing a pair of socks, pants, or fancy lacy dress can have a pretty detrimental effect on their sensory system, making matters only worse.
Not to mention that they are going to fight you more in the future because they’ll think you don’t get it and aren’t there to help.
This plays off of step 1, but patience and understanding make all the difference for sensory sensitive kids.
Step #3: Allow for extra time
When you know your child has sensory issues with clothing, this can be a total game changer.
Can you start your morning or bedtime routine earlier, even just 5 or 10 minutes to give the space to take time getting dressed and giving any support that’s needed?
If so, it can cause everyone, especially you, to feel less stressed!
It’s also important to note that kids’ sensory systems are always in fluctuation, which means that what bothers them one day might not the next.
For some kids, it can be hard to predict when they’re going to have a total meltdown over the jeans. Consistently having that extra time to work through it might be exactly what you need.
Step #4: Offer Choices
As soon as kids feel like they have some control over what their body experiences, they are more willing to push themselves out of their comfort zone. If possible, give them two pairs of pants to choose from, ideally of different textures or fit.
If they aren’t sure, you can talk about the differences, “You can choose the black pants with no buttons, or these jeans with a zipper and snap. Which would you like to wear today?”
Step #5: Choose sensory friendly clothing
While every child is unique, a lot of sensory issues with clothing are because of seams in socks, underwear, or pants. Or a kid has a strong preference for comfortable clothing that is soft and not constricting.
So they may hate the elastic at the bottom of sweatpants or the top. Or, they hate jeans because they’re stiff, a sweater because it’s itchy.
Although some kids prefer tight-fitting clothing, as well. Notice what your child seems to complain about or gravitate towards.
My son particularly dislikes jeans and any pants that have buttons or the hidden adjustable waistband. I know exactly what bothers him, so in his case, having elastic waist comfortable pants would be helpful.
What clothing you lean towards or avoid may be different for your child. Some families I’ve worked with have found it helpful to have their child go to the store and pick out the clothing, or even better try it on if they can manage that.
Sensory Friendly Clothing
Some kids with sensory issues with clothing definitely benefit from specially designed sensory socks, sensory underwear, or other clothing. If you’re looking to get some, here are some of our top picks:
- Seamless socks
- Tag less shirts
- Compression undershirt
- Seamless underwear for boys and girls
- Soft pants for boys and girls
Step #6: Set a time limit for challenging clothes
My son also hates button-down shirts. I ask him to wear these to church sometimes, which is challenging for him, but possible because I tell him he can take it off as soon as he gets home.
If it was an all out meltdown I wouldn’t “make him” wear this shirt, but sometimes kids don’t have an option, particularly if your kids want to wear no clothing at all.
Or, if it’s cold and they need to put a coat on or have to wear a uniform to school.
Whatever clothing is difficult you can help them by telling them how long they’ll need to keep a specific amount of clothing on. That could be, “As soon as you get home from school you can take off your uniform.” Or, “Once you’re in the car you can take the coat off.”
Step #7: Lower your expectations
Like I just mentioned in the church scenario, sometimes it’s expected that certain clothing should be worn in certain settings.
But if you’ve got a kid who simply hates wearing jeans, consider taking a step back and allowing them to not wear them until you work through some of the underlying issues for why they hate them so much.
Try cutting your child (and yourself) some slack where you can.
Step #8: Get more help
If you have tried these strategies and there is still more help needed, read on. Sometimes it will take more than one strategy coupled together, but here is hope!
How to Get Over Sensory Issues with Clothing
As an OT, I love strategies to help us get through challenges with our kids, like those listed above, but what I love even more is to get to the root of the problem.
Let’s uncover the best ways to help your child improve the way they process sensory information about their clothing, that decreases their tactile defensiveness.
1. Wilbarger Brushing Protocol – Frequently referred to as “brushing”, and as strange as it sounds, is taking a specific brush (looks like a surgical brush) and with a firm pressure, taking 2 minutes to firmly rub it all over your child’s back, arms, and legs.
While this is very easy, it’s copyright states that it can only be taught in person by an occupational therapist that’s been certified to do so.
The good news is the majority of pediatric OT’s have this certification or training. If your child is already in OT and they have sensory issues with clothing or other signs of tactile defensiveness, ask the OT about it!
It’s a powerful tool, but does need to be used consistently over 4-6 weeks, multiple times a day.
2. Sensory Bins – Again, this may sound surprising or even strange, but if your child regularly plays in different textures (think: sand, dry rice, shaving cream, finger paints, etc.) their tactile system can greatly improve and the sensory issues with clothing can all but disappear.
I’ve certainly seen this happen with my son over time!
And, I’m not the only one that sees these changes, check out what other parents are saying about sensory bins and the impact on their child’s tactile sensitivity:
This strategy, among many others, is extensively covered in our RISE With Sensory Online Program.
Head over to Sensory Bin Ideas to check out ways to start working on this today!
3. Repeated Exposure – Although we don’t want to force, it’s helpful to encourage them to try, especially if it’s a clothing that can’t be worked around.
Try small doses at home and build up your time.
4. Firm Pressure – When your child does push through their sensory issues with clothing and they are still a bit uncomfortable, a little bit of firm pressure goes a long way because for a lot of kids it’s very calming to their sensory system. You can give firm pressure by:
- Hugging them (if they like hugs!)
- Squeezing their hand or wrapping your hands around their forearms and giving a firm squeeze
- Pushing down on the tops of their shoulders
I like to use this before they get dressed, while they’re getting dressed, and afterwards if they seem dysregulated or upset still.
5. Use a Sensory Diet – Lots of times, if a child has sensory issues with clothing, they likely have some sensory issues in some other aspect of their life. My son is also very wild and while he’s sensitive to certain textures with his tactile system, he craves and seeks out other sensations like proprioceptive and vestibular input.
When I give him a chance to get his sensory system balanced through certain activities, his refusal to wear certain types of clothing diminishes.
To help you get started, Grab our Sensory Essentials Printable with a Sensory Diet template and 25 Powerful Sensory Activities!!
Finding the Clothing Solution That Works for Your Kid
Unfortunately, there is no immediate “fix” for kids with clothing sensory sensitivities. However, using a combination of all the strategies you just read about can help kids take baby steps toward tolerating different types of clothing.
Collaborating with your child, pulling out two of their most comfortable pants to choose from, helping put them on, and then firmly rubbing their legs right away can make all the difference.
Have frequent conversations and negotiations around which days your child will wear jeans. Together, search for the softest jeans in the drawer and pick out a shirt they really like. This can be a team effort.
However, believe me when I say that I know full well that this may be too big of a step for your child. For you, it may mean letting your child wear shorts, even in the winter, as you work through their sensory issues with clothing.
Or, your solution could be stocking their closet with tight performance fit clothing because it’s one less battle you have to have, and you notice that they’re way more chill when they have it on anyway.
Get More Help, NOW!
If you try all of the above steps and can’t seem to get past the daily battle about what clothes your child is going to wear, I’d recommend getting more help.
You can do this in a couple of ways. Google or ask around for sensory integration therapy in your area and schedule an evaluation with an occupational therapist.
Another option is to get support from learning online. We have a free sensory workshop that covers some key strategies from our RISE with Sensory program. Click here to get a spot in our Free Sensory Workshopso you can learn in a deeper way how to help your child today.
This can help you prevent or reduce therapy!
More on Kid’s Sensory Issues
Epic Messy Play List that’s Sensory-filled, Inspiring, and Easy!
60 Printable Sensory Diet Cards for Kids to Thrive
100+ Awesome and Easy Sensory Diet Activities
8 Quick Tips for Kids that Hate Getting Sunscreen Put On
Did You Pin This?
So much info here, it’ll be hard to remember it all. Pin it to your parenting or sensory board for safe keeping:)
Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 19 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
Just read this post and I’m amazed at how spot on it is with my child’s struggles! My 7-year-old son is super sensitive to tags and seams, and it’s been a daily battle to get him dressed in the morning. Thank you for sharing your experiences and providing helpful tips. I’ll definitely be trying some of these strategies out tomorrow morning
Let us know how things go! We’d love to continue to support you and your kiddo with this.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
As a parent of a child with sensory issues, I found this post incredibly helpful. My child has a hard time with certain fabrics and textures, and it can be a nightmare getting them dressed in the morning. The strategies mentioned in this post have already made a big difference in our daily routine. Thank you for sharing!
So happy to hear that you found this helpful! Thanks for sharing, and I hope it continues to get better and better!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
This article shed a lot of light on what me and my 9yr old autistic daughter are going through. for us its socks and shoes I just got her Bomba socks and for the first time we didn’t have a 45 minute melt down over socks this morning. now if we can figure out the footwear issue. love this article shared it saved it to refer back to thank you for this.
So happy to hear this, Joanna! It feels wonderful to remove that struggle for your child. Thanks for sharing and for being here!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Very happy to have found this article. As I read through all of the comments Im also relieved that our family isn’t the only family that going through this. I have actually struggled with this my entire life and didn’t know there was a term for this until recently. I seem to have passed this sensory issue to my 4 year old daughter and even though I know exactly what she is going through it is so difficult and frustrating. I’ve definitely had some freakouts and forced clothing on her to get her to get to school on time. This never feels good. It seems to worsen when that happens and I know now is very detrimental to how she handles these issues in the future. Thank you for providing these tools and strategies. It feels like we have a starting point and some exercises that we can do to try and alleviate the discomfort of clothes.
Thank you for this article. For the first time I feel seen and heard. I had never heard of sensory processing issues before my 6 yr old daughter started showing signs, which have been increasing every day. The meltdowns and spiraling and panicking is overwhelming at times. I’m seeking professional help for her but since all therapies in my area are booked for at minimum 2 months out (some two years!) I needed to find tools to help her at home in the meantime. I cannot tell you how thankful I am to find yourkidstable. What a Godsend your advice is for this weary mom. I am optimistic the tips you advise will help my daughter.
Hi Meggie,
Thank you for these heartfelt words- you are certainly NOT alone! There is a whole community here who “gets it” which doesn’t lessen the frustration but does add a level of understanding. The state of waiting lists for intervention is disheartening, but we hope you can find some direction in the meantime. If you haven’t taken our free sensory processing workshop yet, start there. You can save a seat and watch at your convenience. We have loads of other free resources as well, please reach out and I can direct you to something more specific!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi there! I have to buy all of my 9YO daughter’s clothes at least a size too big and the problem is only getting worse as she gets older. She has gotten to the point where she will only wear very loose running shorts, not underwear, not bike shorts. The thing I don’t understand is that something will be okay, no argument on one day, and then a week later, the same garment is too tight, she acts like I’m trying to put her in a straightjacket, she rips clothes. She has a LOT of clothes and there is no common denominator in what she’ll wear. I could buy the EXACT same leggings a size larger as she grows and she will freak out and declare they’re not the same. She goes to Catholic school and I’m probably going to send her to public because I can’t take the screaming over the uniform shirt, in addition to academic problems. We used to be able to buy used shirts from the school’s donation bin and those were fine, but they stopped doing taking shirts this year and I’ve had to buy new ones and it’s been Hell on Earth ever since. I just don’t know what to do. I have two other younger children (who, thank God, wear anything I put out for them to wear, or even pick out totally appropriate outfits on their own). She’s been evaluated, the only thing they came up with was an auditory processing disorder.
Hi Jen,
Thank you for this. My 6 year old is currently showing the exact same sensory processing issues and I feel so seen reading through your testimony. It’s incredibly frustrating, heartbreaking, and jarring at times. While I know there’s no fast fix, my controlling side is freaking out that I can’t help her. Please know you’re not alone.
Hi Jen,
One of the hardest parts about sensory sensitivities is that they can really fluctuate depending on many factors which contribute to your daughter’s overall arousal and regulation levels. This is what leads to some days things being fine (when she’ll willingly wear something) and days where she refuses (and she’s likely dysregulated.) Long term strategies over her tactile sensitivity like mentioned in this article will help, but since you mentioned the processing disorder, she likely has other areas of sensory processing that should be addressed. Have you taken our free workshop on sensory processing yet? It’s a really good place to start understanding her arousal levels and how to start using sensory strategies and activities to help regulate her so that she can do things like get dressed in clothing she otherwise wouldn’t tolerate. Start there and let me know if you have questions!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Jen, this is exactly the same as my daughter! She’s 6 and we buy 9 year old clothing so it’s super baggy, trousers are the most challenging. It take so so much of my patience to help her. We have great days and the next can be a nightmare and I just can’t understand what’s happened. We find talking about it (her and I are always a team dealing with it together) helps, I also get her to rub her legs as hard or soft as she thinks she needs before getting dressed, quickly put the clothes on and then I do the deep pressure thing, without her even knowing, just like cuddles or silly tickles applying pressure to the areas that she’s struggled with that day. We had loads and loads of clothes at one point and felt that was quite overwhelming so I hid everything apart from the 2 pairs of trousers and 4 tops that she would wear. I could then calmly say- they’re the clothes you like because you wore them on Wednesday etc. we are definitely improving and whilst we don’t have the huge tantrums we used to, she still has days where she really struggles. It’s so reassuring to hear other people in the same situation. X
I had never thought about applying pressure when they are having a melt down. Will definitely try this!
Thanks for reading Gabe! We hope it is helpful!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
The point about tactile sensitivities changing from day to.day was revelatory! I can tell some days by kid has less defensiveness bc she has more resources (sleep, nutrition, regulated emotions), but am befuddled when the socks [insert any clothing item here] that worked all month (and which I just purchased 10 more pairs of) suddenly become intolerable. She becomes so overwhelmed that she does not accept help from me. Thank you for the helpful article I will try these strategies and hope to help my child.
Hi Alexa,
It can be quite frustrating and make little sense to an outsider looking in. The truth is, all of our sensory systems are on a spectrum of what we tolerate and prefer, and this can change. I think about how some days I am overstimulated and often more sensitive to noise, etc. Thank you for reading, and we hope you find these strategies helpful!
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Wondeful information, thank you. Just wondering would that be the same for someone wanting to wear long pants in summer moslty at night or going out or same boy just wants to be naked during outside play?
Hi Melissa,
Absolutely, these sensory preferences around clothing can be very specific, and being naked is a common thing for sensory (tactile) kids. If you’re concerned, there are ways in this article to work on the desensitization, which is a long term plan, and we also have an article on more sensory-friendly clothing items that may help.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
When I was little mom tried and tried to get me to wear shorts. Then when I was around 11 my classmate that lived over by the creek rode his bike over and said lets go to the creek and maybe swim and cool off. He told me to get some shorts on. I didn’t have any and mom didn’t want to cut up my good pants so she got me a pair of my much older sisters old shorts. Girls shorts are much shorter but they felt good and fit good. My buddy said I looked great in them. When I got back mom told me to wear them the rest of the day and not mess up something else. That evening she asked how I liked them I told her I liked them. She got me a few more pairs out and told me I could wear them. She had succeeded in getting me to wear shorts finally even if they were girls shorts. We were both ok with that.
Thanks for sharing, Paul. Your mom did a great job of helping you find a solution that you both were comfortable with and that’s awesome on her part! This is a good example of sometimes having an easy solution to something that made a big difference for a kid.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
Hi. I found this site while researching a sensitivity to smell and it is such a revelation! I am not a parent – I am thinking back to my own childhood. I am 67 years old, when I was growing up NONE of this information about sensory issues was even on anyone’s radar! For little girls in that time, like me, so many cultural expectations around clothing were pure torture! Quite aside from the complete rigidity of gender norms – in California, at least, all female children were forced to wear dresses and dress shoes to school daily until 1970, something I loathed – nobody paid the least bit of attention to things like scratchy fabrics, labels , and seams. I vividly remember things like having to turn down my socks to look “ladylike” when feeling the edges of them on my ankles constantly bothered me, our elementary school forbidding tennis shoes for girls and only allowing the “Mary Jane” type shoes with the slippery soles, and having to wear a matching dress with my sister, made of scratchy wool, and sitting under some hot studio lights to have a formal portrait taken. Bless all of you who have figured out how distressing some clothes can be to children, and who are creating a better way!
Valerie, thank you for reading! It’s so true, people have been dealing with sensory sensitivities to clothing (and many other things) since we’ve worn clothes, but understanding and brainstorming solutions to make things more comfortable is definitely a recent advancement. We hear so many similar stories of adults who dealt with these things as kids- we wish this help could have been available then! Since this article, we wrote another on specific sensory-friendly clothing brands you might be interested in passing along.
Thank you for being here and sharing!
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
None of your ‘advise’ works!!!! You have not offered any solutions at all… your advice is like preaching to the converted …it would work for kids who dont have sensory issues in first place.. think about it…
My child refuses point black to wear trousers/ shorts.. he will only wear a tshirt
Hi Ella,
We are sorry to hear you do not find this advice helpful. The strategies referenced in this article are specifically for sensory issues such as brushing, sensory bin play, and deep pressure within a sensory diet. It is certainly not a “quick fix” and many deep sensory issues take extended time, dedication and testing out different strategies. If you are finding that your child refuses to wear anything on his legs, it is likely that he has a stronger tactile aversion among other things preventing him from being comfortable. We have other free articles on these topics, but since we are unable to see your child individually, advice given is general due to practice rules regarding providing medical and expert advice on the internet. It would be recommended to see if a private therapist can work with your toward your child’s specific and individual needs.
Best,
Laura
Your Kid’s Table team member
My toddler arches his back when I change him and he says hot. Should I be concerned ?
Hi Joy, it is possible that he could have a retained reflex which causes him to move in this way during a diaper changing position. We’ve got an article on reflexes here if you’re interested in reading more!
Best,
Laura, Your Kid’s Table team member
I buy all my daughters clothes secondhand. They are softer and already broken in (also cheaper!). I always look for tagless items, or remove all tags prior to washing them and putting them in her drawers. That way, there is less resistance to getting dressed.
Hi Crystal! Thanks for reaching out and sharing this tip! What a great idea!
Best,
Kalyn
My daughter has some sensory issues, but it never occurred to me that this might be why she struggles to get dressed in the morning! I thought she was just being strong-willed. I will have to use some of these strategies and also try to be more patient with her.
Hi Gretchen! Yes, definitely could be sensory related! Hope these tips can help!
Best,
Kalyn