Can’t stand a messy baby? It can mean some more work, but it is worth it in more ways than you may think…
Usually, when you first start feeding a baby cereal, they are fairly easy to keep clean, since they aren’t moving around too much. Over the next few months, they start swiping the spoon and blowing raspberries in their food. It can get messy in a hurry, for everybody! I know this can be overwhelming, and letting them get messy may seem like more work than it’s worth.
Some parents I work with feel like it’s neglectful to let their child sit there with food all over them, even if it is during the meal. I am here to say, throw out the towel (literally) and let them get messy. Let the food get on their hands, in their hair, and all over their face (and don’t make any disgusting faces while they are doing it).
Here are four really good reasons why: You are looking at a picture of Sam (who is now nearly 3) while he was in the middle of eating his prunes around 7 months old. I know he is very messy! I hope that you have pictures of your babies covered in their food too (I actually have ones worse than this). But, I fear that many of you don’t. Are you a face scraper? Don’t want to mess up that cute little outfit? Hey, I know where you’re coming from, as a classic type-A personality myself. Thank goodness my years as a therapist primed me for all the messy moments I have with my own kids now.
Recently, we were at a party and while I was feeding Isaac, a friend with a baby close in age to Isaac walked by with his mouth opened and said, “Oh my gosh, You let him get messy like that? You let him feed himself?” Before I respond, I look back at Isaac and observe that he has his entire hand in the container of applesauce he is eating and that it is smeared on his ear and the side of his face. In his other hand, he has a noodle from the pasta salad, I had several on his tray.
It is funny because I had just been looking at him, but I don’t even think about the mess, even at a party. Isaac was having a great time and was eating so well (something he doesn’t always do). He was taking that pudgy little hand with applesauce all over it and putting it in his mouth! I gave our friend a very watered down response to why you should let your baby get messy, he was in the middle of hosting his daughter’s birthday party.
This got me thinking of all the friends and families I work with and how many times I have had this discussion. So, I thought it warranted a post, because it is very important to let your babies (and kids) get messy! Read on to find out why and how you can take baby steps into tolerating the mess (and hopefully embracing it).
1. Powerful Sensory Play
Meal times with babes are about more than eating. Besides learning all sorts of social and cultural norms, it is some of their first active sensory play. Think about it, you can’t put your 7 month old in the sand box or use finger paints because they will eat it. The tactile stimulation you get from playing in messy textures provides loads of meaningful information to the brain that children process and create more sophisticated responses to. Babies and children will actively seek these experiences out as part of curiosity, discovery, exploration, and the drive to experience sensory input.
2. Learning How to Self Feed
When babies get their hands messy in the baby food, it will eventually dawn on them that when they put their fingers in their mouth, they get some food. A light bulb will go off, “Hey, I can feed myself”. It will likely be months before they are spoon feeding themselves, but those early tastes from their own fingers will set the groundwork for this skill and they will likely accomplish it much sooner! If your baby is getting messy and not putting their hand up to their mouth when it’s covered in dinner, take your hand and show them how.
3. Preventing Tactile Defensiveness
When kids aren’t exposed to different textures, they can become sensitive to new or different textures over time. If you keep your baby very clean during meals, they may reach a point when getting messy feels uncomfortable because it’s such a foreign sensation to them. This is not to say that all tactile defensiveness is taught, mostly it is not. Kids that are born tactile defensive will show signs early on as a baby. The constant wiping with a spoon or napkin to keep the baby clean can actually be more uncomfortable for them.
4. Making it Positive
If you have been following this blog, then you know how much importance I place on keeping mealtimes positive (check out my series on this here, here, and here). Letting babies get messy keeps a more laid back flow to the whole meal and thus is more positive. If you are fighting with your baby so they don’t grab the spoon or trying to pin them down to wipe their face off after each bite, meal time might not be so positive for baby.
If you wipe your baby’s face constantly or don’t let them help feed themselves, you are depriving them of a wonderful learning and sensory experience. Sorry, I know that sounds harsh. The good news is that it’s not too late to let them start to get messy. As they creep into life as a toddler, you do have to start teaching table manners and it may not be a great idea to let them squeeze and slop their food around just for the sake of playing. But, if they are getting messy just from the act of eating, then let it go and while they are younger toddlers, a little of the messy play is ok as long as it isn’t too distracting. If you notice your toddler is trying to play with their food a lot, provide them with opportunities to finger paint and play in various sensory bins.
Try to Avoid:
- Taking the spoon and scraping the food that has dribbled out off your babies face. This can be so uncomfortable or irritating. Let the mess be!
- Wiping tray off frequently. If some mess slops on the tray, let it go unless it is interfering with finger feeding. Letting babies slop the mess around with their hands is wonderful sensory play!
- Wiping hands or face with a napkin throughout the meal. They are washable! Repeat after me, “It is ok if sweet potatoes are in their hair and behind their ears, it is ok.”
Do This:
- Allow your baby or toddler to get messy as long as it doesn’t interfere with their ability to see (they wipe their eyes with a messy hand) or feed themselves.
- Wait to the end of the meal to clean up. If your baby doesn’t like getting cleaned, try to take them away from the high chair so they have the positive association from the meal, not the getting cleaned up part.
- Consider giving the baby their bath after a particularly messy meal. Most babies love bath time, and it is often the easiest way to get them clean.
Was that a good sales pitch? Did I win over any other neat freaks type-A’s (like myself) that want their kids to be clean? If I can do it, so can you! Embrace the mess!
Feeling inspired? Head to my epic list of Messy Play ideas that are easy and awesome for your child’s development!
More on Messy Play And Baby Eating
The Ultimate List of Baby/Toddler Meal Ideas
Ultimate List of Sensory Bin Ideas, Incredibly Easy!
The Ultimate Guide to Feeding Milestones for Babies and Toddlers
What You Need to Know About Baby Gagging (+ Expert Tips)
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 17 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
I love this info, Sometimes i let him (15months boy ) to get big mess.
I really need tips “he hates sitting on chair while eating.” So i let him eating on the floor n it takes 3-5 mins. After that he will walk around n pinch his messes food on floor.
Our 2 boys loved to make a mess when they first started. Thankfully thanks to the HuggleBib http://www.HuggleBib.com, it made the experience twice as much fun as our messy eaters were protected by the HuggleBib :)… we highly recommend the HuggleBib for all parents and caregivers
My little boy is 18 months old and I doingvery well at feeding himself off a fork or spoOn. I don’t mind mess and I don’t think I have ever discouraged it but if he gets food on his hands he gets upset and won’t continue with the meal unless it is wiped off. The problem is he now is very fussy with exploring new things. He won’t touch sand and freaks out if he falls over on the grass. I have no idea how to encourage him to get messy. He also refuses to wear a bib..
My little boy is 18 months old and I doingvery well at feeding himself off a fork or spoOn. I don’t mind mess and I don’t think I have ever discouraged it but if he gets food on his hands he gets upset and won’t continue with the meal unless it is wiped off. The problem is he now is very fussy with exploring new things. He won’t touch sand and freaks out if he falls over on the grass. I have no idea how to encourage him to get messy. He also refuses to wear a bib..
See my post on sensory bins- I explain how to overcome this in small steps. You can find it in the article index in the menu bar under the heading Sensory. The key is to try dry textures for play first and be encouraging and slow. It will take some time. Let me know if you need more help!
This is a great article! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Unfortunately, I did not let my daughter be messy and play with food. She is 3 years old now and does not want to feed herself. She asks to clean up her hands as soon as she gets some food on them. I wish I could go back in time and implement your thoughts when she was little. I know it is my mistake and really hope it is not too late to fix this.
Would appreciate any tips to sort this out for my 3 year old.
Give her a wet washcloth to wipe her own hands off- it is okay if she needs to do this. I would get her started in some sensory bins to break down any sensitivity she may have developed. See the article index in the menu bar for the link. Set up messy crafts and encourage, but don’t force her to interact with the materials.
My friend taught me a trick. Place a shower curtain under high chair. Let them eat and get messy then roll up curtain take and rinse. Easy clean up. I also found another use for hard plastic pools… Place child inside and let them eat and make mess after they can enjoy a swim… Lol 🙂
I love it!
I was thinking to do the same thing the other day, but then I realized I didn’t want to have to clean a shower curtain every mealtime either… Seems easier to clean the floor, to me. Instead I recently started using newspaper or those grocery store ads that come in the mail. I put it under the high chair to catch all the mess and then wipe the mess from the high chair off the tray onto to paper and then throw it away! So much easier!
I was wondering if you have any suggestions for clean up. Also, do you put them in just their diaper? My issues is that she gets it all over her outfit and then I need to send her to day care etc. Also, any easy ways to get it out of the hair especially if it is during breakfast or lunch and you still have the rest of the day before bath time?
I think the diaper is great. Unfortunately is some clean up, but it is worth it. I just use a wet washcloth and wipe out as best I can. This really messy phase will pass before you know it.
Hi! I just want to share about Adjustable Silicone Baby Bib – this BPA free rubber bib is very stylish and environmentally friendly and can safely be washed in the dishwasher. It protects baby’s clothes and is very easy to clean. You can buy this kind of Silicone Baby Bib in this site http://lemikdk.com/baby-child/.
Not at all! I know it is hard, but go ahead and let her start to get messy! See the Eating Basics tab too to help with her selective eating.
I am one of those mums that tried to keep things clean and not get messy. Is it too late? as i am struggling with a 13 month old very picky eater and i think it has to do with different textures… i dont know what to do as he only eats yogurt and fruit and some biscuits and of course he loves chips…
You need to have a good bib with that messy eating. I use the silicone bibs because its really easy to clean. Have you tried this type of bib?
http://ghcbibs.com
Just found this blog a few weeks ago, so much great info! As a first time mom and COTA I have mad respect for your insight!
Thank you so much, that comment made my day!
I am a first time mom and my son is turning 1 next month. I feel like I am really behind on teaching him because he only eats snacks by himself and he doesn’t do the pincer grasp he just shovels food into his mouth. I am so overwhelmed and confused about switching him off of baby food and formula and i never let him eat by himself or get messy, should i just give him baby food to eat with his hands? I am trying to figure out how to get him to eat with a spoon by himself and I feel like I am way behind. I am sorry for such a long comment, I am just so overwhelmed and I am not sure what to do!
Hi Shayla, I’ve got you’ve covered. All of the areas you mentioned I’ve written about already with clear directions. Click on the the article index in the menu bar and scroll down to developmental milestones, you will find it all there. In the mean time the best thing you can do is relax, if you still have more questions let me know. Also, if the strategies don’t seem to be working and you live in the states it would be great for you to access your state’s free in home evaluation. See the article Help for Infants and Toddlers also in the article index.
very useful info, i used to constantly clean up my son up to 18 month and he doesn’t feed himself still we didn’t give him any chance to pick up food -(. too busy working and didn’t realized all these useful tips until now.
Don’t worry about the choices you’ve already made, he will be just fine, especially now that you know to let him get a little messy! Good luck!
Sometimes we use two spoons so that she can practice with it and I can feed her (she’s 9 months). My husband teases me about how messy she gets when I feed her, but I don’t mind.
That is perfect! Good for you for seeing past the mess:)