Pacifier weaning doesn’t have to be as hard as you think. Whether the binky has control over your life or you want to be proactive with your baby, these steps, tips, and strategies will give you everything you need to get your baby off the pacifier.
With my first son, I was terrified of the binky, and so I never gave him one. I had been working for years as a pediatric OT at that point, mainly with kids under 3, and nearly daily, I witnessed the binky or pacifier battles that ensued in many of the homes that I walked into.
Then, came my second, unplanned baby, 21 months later. This time, I had a lot more confidence as a mother and desperately wanted him to take a pacifier. He did, for like a minute, and then had absolutely no interest. I wanted to cry. I knew that pacifier would help calm and soothe him at various times throughout the day. I envisioned a baby that went to sleep easier because he was self-soothing himself with the pacifier.
That’s why so many parents love the binky, dummy, or whatever you call it, but as much love as there once was, it can turn into a dreaded crutch that you’re a slave to.
And, that’s how I ended up helping lots of families with pacifier weaning. It’s not always easy, but it can be done!
When Should Babies (or Toddlers) Stop Using a Pacifier?
Before we even start with how to wean from a pacifier, we need to talk about when you need to start thinking about it, and the answer might actually surprise you.
Babies do have an actual need to suck, it calms them, and many will seek it out. Some will nurse from their mother all the time, other baby’s will use a pacifier. Totally normal through 6-8 months of age. But, after that, as babies are developing, their needs often change and they don’t need to suck quite as much as they used to.
For proactive parents and most babies using a pacifier, it can be weaned away within this time frame.
But, as I’m sure you’re well aware, this is often not the case. Sometimes the baby has a strong desire for that suck still, which could point to a sensory need. Don’t worry, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It is something to be aware of though. Head over to What is Sensory to learn more.
Other times, it’s simply because parents don’t realize it’s time to start phasing it out, and as a baby turns into a toddler, their ability to remember and form attachments becomes a lot stronger. At this point, it becomes more difficult to get rid of the binky. No fault to you, if this is the situation you’re in. I file this under, “Important things that nobody tells parents.”
This sets in more strongly when babies reach 15 months of age and older.
Do I Need to Worry About Pacifier Weaning
This leads to the very important question that you must ask yourself: Should you even worry about pacifier weaning? My answer: it depends. Of course, I’m going to explain this in some more depth, so let’s take a look:
When you should begin pacifier weaning:
- If your baby enjoys the pacifier, but isn’t overly dependent on it, you can follow the steps below in between 7 to 9 months old for a simple transition away from it.
- If your child is at an age that it’s stopping them from talking (aka their speech development). As a therapist, this is the biggest problem I see with the pacifier. For some kids that are so focused on walking around and sucking on the pacifier 24-7, they are less likely to have spontaneous speech, make sounds, or even babble. That’s not a good thing. But, a lot of times pacifier use can be decreased significantly, but not removed totally. We’ll talk more about that below.
- If your child’s dentist has told you that it’s ruining their teeth. If a child sucks on a pacifier A LOT it’s possible that it can actually change the shape of their dentition, or the way their teeth are lined up. You’ll notice that even without the binky in their mouth, when they close their teeth it looks like it’s still there. The front teeth spread apart a little and come forward more than they should. In these instances, simply cutting out how often your child is using the pacifier can help.
- If your child has frequent ear infections. While there are many causes of ear infections, frequent pacifier use could be one of the contributing factors.
When you don’t necessarily need to worry about pacifier weaning:
- When your baby is under 7-8 months old.
- When your child uses it occasionally or just for bedtime.
- When it’s not interfering with your child’s communication, social skills, health, or teeth.
- When it offers significant help in calming or relaxing your child or toddler.
Pacifier Weaning for Babies
If you’re baby is under 12 months old, you’ll likely be able to use this simple approach that I’m going to outline here, if they’re above 15 months old you’re going to want to check out the next section.
1. Begin to be aware of how often you’re using or relying on the pacifier. It’s very easy to slide into the habit of always inserting it in our babies mouth when they make one little whimper. That’s not necessarily bad, but being aware of how and when you’re using it can give you really great insights into how to start pulling back using it.
2. Start to make a conscious decision to not use it as often. Choose to eliminate any times when your baby is simply using the pacifier, but may not really need it. Think about when they’re pleasant and content, simply don’t offer it unless you really have to (aka their screaming their head off).
3. Now, I’d encourage you to try and not give them the pacifier right away, even if they’re crying. Give them a few seconds to try and calm down. Pick them up and rock them for a few seconds if need be, distract them with a toy, or give them a stuffed animal/soft blanket to hold instead.
Be patient with this step. It won’t be perfect. You’ll feel like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back at times. It’s a transition and those take time.
4. Eventually, you want to work yourself up to the point where you’re only offering the pacifier in really extreme instances, sparingly during the day, if at all. Then, to the point where they’re never using it during the day. At this point you’re last step to accomplish is sleeping, if this is important to you. Begin by setting up a bedtime routine, even for naps. This can be really simple with a story, rocking in a chair, and a kiss goodnight.
This routine is really important because it will help them relate other activities to falling asleep, not just the pacifier or the bottle for that matter. If you need some help with that too, head to How to Wean a Baby from a Bottle.
5. The last step is to make sure any pacifier at bedtime is out of sight, and to simply not offer it. Again, go back to some snuggles/reassurances from you and using a favorite blanket or teddy bear to help soothe. This too is another dance of back and forth, the same way it was for pacifier weaning during the day.
You’ll continue with consistently pulling back on using the pacifier until it’s completely gone. This can take days, weeks, or even several months.
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Pacifier Weaning for Toddlers
Once your child reaches 12-15 months old that deeper attachment begins to form. For toddlers closer to 12 months, they may be able to follow the simpler steps above, and in truth, what you’ll do for toddlers is quite similar, but it’s likely going to take some more time and tricks. Unless you go cold turkey, and say bye bye binky for good.
This is totally an option, but there’s a couple of ways to go about it and a few caveats you need to be aware of too! First, let’s talk about a slower toddler pacifier weaning:
1. For binky-loving toddlers, they often have them stashed everywhere. In the car seat, under the couch, in the toy bin, and every other nook and cranny in your home. Older toddlers will know where to find them and younger ones will stumble upon them accidentally and thwart your best efforts. So, step number one for toddlers: raid your house of pacifiers. Search high and low and gather them all so that you’re the keeper of the pacifier.
Throw out all of the crusty old ones, and keep just a few to have on hand. When you do give them a pacifier, make sure you retrieve it so they don’t have one lost in their bed or car seat again.
2. Don’t make a big deal about the pacifier, or your removal of them. You want to keep this on the D-L. The first step is to take it out of their mouth when they wake up or shortly after they are fully awake (if you have a morning snuggler) and begin to play. You can do this gently while they’re distracted and not say a word. This is my preferred method.
But, it doesn’t work for all kids. If your child consistently screams and cries every time you pull it out, then say simply, “It’s time for the binky to take a bath, it’ll be back soon.” Give them another comfort item before you walk away with it. Use the same item all the time, and I’d pick something they seem to already like. Likely this will be a stuffed animal or blanket, like I talked about above.
It’s important that they begin to associate this other object as soothing and calming. And, this could of course take time. Once you’ve given them the stuffed animal, walk away quickly and put the binky by the sink or somewhere they can’t see it, quickly and without fan fair.
For some toddlers that really have a need to suck or have something in their mouth, it may help to give them some simple whistles to blow, teethers, or these special necklaces that are made for chewing on.
3. You’ll continue to decrease times during the day when they have the pacifier outside of sleeping. Take note of how often they’re using it and begin to take out one time period at a time. Or, if it’s in their mouth nearly constantly, start by building up the time that you can both go without it. This could be as short as 5 minutes if need be. Then an hour or two later you try again for 5 or 6 minutes, slowly increasing your time with every attempt.
4. The goal is to not use the pacifier at all during the day, except for naps. If you’re toddler is dependent on them for sleeping, you can decide if you want to continue weaning or allow them to have it to sleep, it’s okay if you decide to do that!
5. If you want or need to wean away from bedtime, it’s really important to give them a substitute. Again, a teether or chewy tube could help them, but I’d focus first on another attachment object like the teddy bear or baby doll. Also, as I talked about with weaning babies from the pacifier above, the rest of your bedtime routine, outside of the pacifier is really important.
Establish a solid routine of bath, story, snuggles, singing, or whatever so that you’re child has a dependable routine. This gives them comfort and will greatly help with pacifier weaning.
The Binky Fairy and Other’s…
If you are straight up over this pacifier and the control that it has on your families life, you may be ready to jump in with both feet. That’s great, but keep in mind that some kids do have that real sensory need to keep sucking, especially for sleep. Trust your instincts. Is your child ready for this?
It’s okay to have some tears, but all-out meltdowns might be a sign that you need to take it a little more slowly.
When going cold turkey, there is the popular Dummy or Binky Fairy Method. The key to using this strategy successfully is a lot of build up! This is how it works: You tell your toddler, they should be around 2 years old and up to understand fully, that you’re going to get all the binky’s ready to say goodbye because the “Binky Fairy” is going to take them to new babies who need them.
This works particularly well if you pair it with a birthday or holiday. So, it sounds something like, “Now that you’re a big girl and are going to be three years old, the binky fairy is going to come on Saturday.” You want this to be a positive thing, so choose your words wisely.
At least 3-4 days ahead of time and possibly up to a week, you want to introduce the concept and then talk about it frequently, giving them frequent reminders and time to get used to the idea. Make it something exciting and treat it as an accomplishment!
Then on the day before, gather all of the pacifiers from around the house together. Put them in a basket and possibly draw the binky fairy a picture. Leave it in a prominent place in your home before bedtime. When your child wakes up in the morning all of the binky’s in the basket are gone! There may be a new chewy necklace or a little thank you note in return 😉
Celebrate with your child!
But remember, this is likely not the end. Your child will ask for that pesky pacifier again and you’ll have to follow through. Think all of that through before you commit to this method.
Another twist on this idea is to have a binky party and kiss them all goodbye. You can throw them in the garbage together (will be traumatic for some) or pack them in box to ship to them to “babies that will need them.”
You Got This
This binky stuff can be really hard, but you will get there. I can promise you that it will go so much smoother if you set your expectations really low. Know that it’s going to be a process.
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More Help for Babies and Toddlers
Stopping Breastfeeding: The Complete Guide
The Ultimate List of Baby/Toddler Meal Ideas
How to Teach Your Baby to Drink from a Straw
What to Do When Baby Won’t Eat Solids: 7 Simple Steps
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 14 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
This is a great article. Very useful and wanted to say i bought your mealtimes work program which was a life saver for our son. We are really struggling with his dummy though, we tried taking it away a few months ago when he turned 2 and he basically stopped napping, every night turned into an absolute nightmare for about 2 weeks and then he started teething (molars) so we decided to give it back to him until we try again when he is a bit older. The issue we have is that he still has a really strong sucking need and it seems to be the only thing that calms him down enough for sleep (in the overwhelmingly exciting world he seems to live in lol). During the day, he calms himself down by chewing on his teddy bears, even fingers if needed but to fall asleep he refuses anything else than the dummy. I tried a lot of different teethers/chewy toys but he just likes to have them in his hands and doesnt try them in his mouth at all. Would you have any tip on how to get him to chew on other objects to calm himself for sleep? also does the sucking need naturally wanes and should we wait for that to try again or will it only get worse?
Hey Ophelie,
Thanks for reaching out! Oh getting rid of the dummy can be a challenge. I’ve been there too, you’re certainly not alone! It sounds like you guys are on the right track with getting rid of it during the day, which is a great first step. Unfortunately continuing the dummy will encouraging the sucking need, if that makes sense. Throw in toddler sleep challenges in there…and it’s hard! The best thing to do is to substitute something else to help calm. It sounds like his teddy bears might be help at night time, but it could mean a bit less sleep for a while. HERE is another article full of more sleep ideas that might be helpful. Hang in there, this is definitely a challenging time!
Best,
Andrea
Thank you it makes sense and thanks for the sleep article it is really useful. I feel like as he grows older he might be more able to understand that the dummy needs to be replaced by other calming things/activities but feel like now it would just leave a big void…. He is starting to chew on his dummy though sometimes instead of sucking, his teddy bear is with him in bed but i dont really see him chew on him in that moment, just when he is upset during the day so for me it would be key to encourage him to chew on something for calm but i am not sure how to get him to do that at all. any idea? as said before he just doesn’t put teethers in his mouth and we have countless at home. But he also struggles to sit downn and is always super active and playing on the go so it is difficult to create a situation where he would use a teether to calm down. maybe a nap on the go in the car or buggy? or maybe while reading a story (provided he sits for it)? during the bedtime routine? (although he now screams and shouts for his dummy in that moment) any idea would be most welcome i really value your input!
Yes! All the times you mentioned would be great times to offer a teether if he usually uses the dummy then. That’s a great way to bridge over to something different. Here’s another link to some heavy work activities for toddlers. It won’t specifically help with getting rid of the dummy, but might give you some different tools to help him calm.
Best,
Andrea
Hi there! We recently took away the paci cold turkey for my 30mo daughter. She was only using it for night time sleep and naps at home. We cut a hole in it initially, but she didn’t want it and threw it away herself. For the past 2 weeks since she’s been without, she’s been waking up every hour crying, kicking and screaming, when she previously slept through the night. I guess I didn’t realize how much she relied on it for sleep. We’re all so tired! I don’t want to cave since we’ve come so far, but I’m beginning to wonder if we weaned too soon. The dentist did say her teeth were showing signs of paci use. Any advice on how we can get our good sleeper back?
Oh, you are not alone with this struggle! It is really common for sleep to be a problem after taking the paci away. Using a transition object can be helpful. Sometimes a soft blanket or one with a silky side can be particularly helpful because your daughter can stroke it at night to help her calm. We also have another post on sleeping that might be helpful!
Best,
Andrea
We have a newly adopted 14 year old daughter whom we have had for two months now and has daytime wetting accidents and bedwetting at night.We use the cloth pin on diapers and rubberpants on her 24/7.She recently started using a pacifier and when i asked her where she got it from,she told me she took it from our church nursery.She told me it helps her to relax and that since she has to wear the diapers and rubberpants all the time she feels somewhat like a baby.We are debating whether we should let her keep on using it.
Oh that’s really hard Valerie and to be honest, I’m not sure what the “right” answer is, but maybe you put some limitations on when it’s acceptable or give her some time to have whenever she wants. There’s a huge sensory component to pacifiers as you read above so it probably is comforting! Maybe she’d be interested in sucking on a lozenge or a chewy tube as well. But, you may want to pull in a child therapist on this as well.
I found some more methods for children over 18 months on the internet Paci Fairy style. I read some guide ‘How To Help Your Child Give Up The Pacifier?’, where are stories involving animals, special trip, shoping you can do only with trading the pacifier etc. They are very creative, but my 18 months old son is to smart or on the contrary 😉 I didn’t want to wait till he will be over 2, so I decided to make o hole in dummy. I know that with this method comes choking hazard, so every time I was checking binky, and didn’t give it for a night. After few days Dylan realised that his paci was no longer working and lost interest. He didn’t even want it during a night.
Awesome! Thanks for sharing that!
I did the cold Turkey method. My son is almost 2. He went 4nights without his paci and one d 5th night he start crying . He was watching a few nursery rhymes earlier n few of d creator had paci using am wondering if it helped him to remember… what should i do plz help
Hey Shan,
This transition can be hard, but sounds like he made it a few days without difficulties. I’d make sure to comfort him if he is crying and talk him through it to let him know it’s okay. You can also use one of the stories “ie: binky fairy” as discussed in the article.
Best,
Desiree
hi! I’m looking for info on getting rid of the pacifier, with a baby who is also a thumb sucker. no one seems to cover this. he’s only dependant on the pacifier to fall asleep. once asleep, he’s spits it out. during the night, if to wake, he uses his thumb. so my question is, once I take away the pacifier, do I let him use his thumb? if yes, when do I start weaning the thumb away?
also, I’m not a super fan of replacing the pacifier with something stuffed or a blanket – really not fond of something in the crib with him when sleeping. which, his thumb will probably take over anyways, but I guess a chew toy would be my only other option?
thanks!
Hi Molly,
Thanks for reaching out! It can sometimes be much trickier to stop thumb sucking at night, because their thumb is always with them! You might try redirecting his attention during the day when he tries to suck his thumb. You’re idea of a teether chew toy would help the transition too! When babies mouth toys it can be great for their development.
Best,
Andrea
I am a therapist for a sensory seeking 2 year old who has an extreme need to suck on items. His mother has taken away his binks because he was sucking so hard and frequent that they were coming apart. She has numerous chew items for him and gives him many opportunities through out the day to suck on appropriate items like thick liquids through a straw or frozen yogurt tubes etc. No one is sleeping at night because he wants to suck on something. What items can replace a bink at night to calm and sooth the need to suck.
Honestly, probably their thumb, but obviously I don’t want to encourage that! I can’t actually think of another substitute. I’d try to give him a lot of sucking time, but also work on proprioceptive input in general and using another object for comfort, like a teddy bear or blanket. Parents will need to be very consistent to giving it to him, even if he doesn’t seem interested at times, so that he forms an attachment and uses it to help himself go back to sleep.
This is a wonderful article with a lot of useful info. Pacifier is not so common in my place but baby getting addicted to pacifier stories had really made me extra cautious about these little things. The scene of a baby stuck with a thing in the mouth didn’t make a happy scene for me to remember. But your article has answered a lot of my inhibition of using the pacifier. Good article.
Thank you! I’m glad you found the information helpful!
My daughter uses the pacifier for naps/sleep and the occasional fussy period here and there. She’s 17 months old and will be 22 months when her new brother or sister arrives. What I’m struggling with is what’s going to happen when/if the new baby is using a pacifier during the day. I know she will want and try to take it from the new baby (she is already doing this with her new baby cousin). I’m debating if I should try to ditch the pacifier before the new baby comes or not. Do you have any insights or suggestions?
Thanks!
Great question Allison! By the time the baby comes she should be much better able to understand that the baby has it’s own binky. When it’s getting close you could have her help you buy some special “different” pacifier’s. If you decide to wean now she will probably be totally over them by the time the baby comes, but with some practice she could probably learn to handle it:)
My 19 month old has been using a wubbanub pacifier since around 2 months of age. She has always only used it for naps and sleep. We also recently introduced a small crochet blanket that she can have during daytime (at home) and sleep times, hoping she will develop an attachment to the blanket and less on her beloved “monkey.” If you say it’s not a problem for them to have the pacifier just for sleep right now, then when is a good time to get rid of it? Will she eventually just not use it? Should I cut the pacifier off the monkey so she can still have her monkey stuffed animal when it’s time to full rid the pacifier? Thank you!!
Hi Erica, this is a great question! I’d first ask your pediatrician if they have any concerns about how are teeth are forming- or take her to a pediatric dentist. If it doesn’t seem to be an issue it’s a personal choice. The best advice I can give you as a mom is what is your instinct telling you? She’s at an age that you could go either way. Some parents will cut the tip off the pacifier slowly, a little bit every couple of days… that might be something to consider. If you do let it go, she may naturally outgrow it or you’ll get to a point where you can’t stand it anymore and cut it out!
I have the same question, although my son is closer to 3 yrs old. He needs it to sleep. Sometimes the pacifier drops from his mouth when he’s deep asleep (or I take it out of his mouth), but then he looks for it again when he needs to soothe himself back to sleep.
He has his own blanket that he needs to sleep as well, but he has two of different color (plus another one for travelling). He doesn’t seem to mind changing the blankets since he has a strong sense of ownership for his things. Now I’m wondering if I should stick to only one.
I guess I’ll have to ask his dentist for any concern on his next visit. Although I’m hoping he ditches the pacifier before he turns 4 or attend preschool (which is another issue for me whether to start early or let him be the oldest in class). Thanks for this post!
That sounds like a good plan Kate! If he responds to both blankets than you’re probably good keeping them both, so helpful in case you ever misplace one too!
Thank you so much for your reply! Very helpful post and response! I love your whole website :). I feel a lot better about using the pacifier still and will let her guide us through this.
You’re so welcome Erica, thank you for your kind words! I’m so glad you found you’re way here!!