Learn how and when to wean off breast milk whether your baby is 1 year old, 15-months-old, or a toddler. OT and mom shares tricks for gently transitioning to milk, stopping nursing to sleep, and other weaning challenges.
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As an OT, I have shared lots of baby and toddler milestone tutorials over the years, including How to Wean from a Bottle.
The topics of feeding and eating can be complicated and stressful for many parents, no matter the age of your child. But when you have a baby or toddler, it can feel even more complex because of how much information is out there.
Weaning from breastfeeding is one area where there are a lot of opinions, and let’s be honest- lots of conflicting advice. You’ve probably read all kinds of information or even gotten advice from friends or family members.
As a mom who has done it three times with my children that were exclusively breast-fed, I’m here to share with you my best advice on how to stop breastfeeding gently, safely, and appropriately.
My oldest, NEVER took a bottle, which was really stressful, and my third would only do it if he had to. So believe me, I know the stress that comes along with this.
Of course, I’m fully aware that this can be a bit of a controversial topic. So, let me say, right now, very clearly, that this post IS NOT about when a mother should stop nursing, although I will share some general info on the topic.
This post is about how to stop breastfeeding, when a mother and child are ready. Women have many different reasons for wanting to wean at various ages. I completely welcome constructive and helpful comments, but let’s be supportive of each other’s very personal decisions.
So whether you are wondering how to wean an 11, 12, 13, 14, 15-month-old, or even an older baby or toddler, read on to hear my best tricks as a mom and occupational therapist.
When to Stop Breastfeeding and Start the Weaning Process
I know I’m leading with the when, even though I just said it is a personal decision, and it is. But, I know many of you aren’t sure when you want to wean, so let me give you some objective information.
Many moms start to wean at 12 months, right around baby’s first birthday.
I will tell you this, around 15 months of age, children enter a new cognitive phase and begin to make strong associations or attachments. Nursing to this point could make it more difficult to wean with some of the strategies I’ll discuss here, but certainly not impossible.
I don’t say that to persuade you towards weaning earlier, but want you to be aware of all the information. While I also fully support mothers that decide to nurse longer, I will caution you to be aware of those feedings affecting consumption at solid food meals.
Some toddlers can handle having “nursings” throughout the day as they please and still sit down to eat their meals, but others fill up on milk and subsequently don’t transition to eating more food.
That can be a slippery slope, as I’ve seen many times. If toddlers don’t get the practice and exposure to eating foods, sometimes they can become very picky eaters throughout childhood. If you continue to nurse, I would encourage you to treat meals as a priority as well and be aware of how recently they have nursed.
Find out other reasons kids become picky here.
For a variety of reasons, I decided to wean my own children around one year old. They were 14, 12, and 13 months, respectively. It was a gentle process that was not traumatic for my children in any way.
I did not transition them to a bottle, because at those ages, they didn’t require one. And, if you are weaning over 12 months, I would recommend phasing out those feedings totally and not substituting with infant formula or milk in a bottle or sippy cup at those times.
If you are weaning before 12 months old, you will need to replace it with infant formula in a bottle or possibly a sippy cup. Check out my complete how-to guide for getting a nursing baby to take a bottle.
How to Stop Breastfeeding – at 1 year old, 14, 15, and even 18 months?
So how do you actually start to end breastfeeding? Well, it is a transition, so there may be a little bit of dancing back and forth on this as you make sure both you and your baby are comfortable.
While some babies naturally wean by going on a nursing strike, many need gentle support to make the transition.
If your baby is 8 months old or older, I would first recommend getting them onto a loose schedule, if they aren’t already. I’m not really concerned with specific times, but intervals or around routines.
For instance, with my third, I always nursed him when he woke up from his naps, the time changed but that routine didn’t. That allowed me to plan our meals in a structured way as well, which gave him exposure to foods and helped him develop an appetite for food, too.
(You’ll find links for sample schedules at the end of this section)
Once your baby or toddler is nursing at regular intervals and not on demand, you will choose one of those times to take away. This should be the easiest time of day, usually one of the nursings in the middle of the day.
Going about this process also allows your milk supply to gradually accommodate the change in schedule so that your milk production continues to match the demand.
Typically bedtime and early morning feeds are more difficult to phase out.
The first few days that you take away those feedings you will want to change the routine a little bit and have food and a drink in a cup ready to go. For instance, when I was taking away those after nap nursings,I would go into his room, pull open the blinds right away and start talking to him real silly to get him distracted.
I’d pick him up playfully and take him downstairs (he typically nursed in his dimly lit room quietly before going downstairs). All the while, I’d be saying, “It’s time for snack! I have your drink, too!”
There were a few times where he whined and pointed to the chair he normally nursed in. I would try once more to distract him and if that didn’t work, then I’d nurse him. That is part of the transition.
If another adult were here, I would have them get him out of his crib as well, which helped change things up.
Once I eliminated that first feeding, I would wait 3-7 days before I took away another feeding, depending on how slow I wanted that to go. Then, I would follow the same procedure. I would do that all the way until I was left with morning and night time nursings.
Morning was always easier to get rid of, so I would make sure I had breakfast completely ready, so he could eat right away.
Personally, I always decided to leave the bedtime nursing session for another month or so, but you don’t need to do that. That was more for me, as weaning each of my children was a very emotional time, and I knew I needed to not rush it.
Keeping that bedtime feeding gave me time to really take in those last days of our special connection. After about a month or so, I would make sure they had a really good dinner (serve a favorite food) or a late snack and then I would let Dad do the bedtime routine.
In all cases, my kids just let my husband put them to bed, as if they had never been nursed, while I sobbed in another room. My children were fine, and I knew, for me, for us, it was time.
To sum up what we’ve just talked about, and fill in some blanks, when you’re ready to wean, you’ll want to:
- Take away one feeding at a time
- Eliminate the easiest feedings first
- Offer a meal instead of nursing. All kids should eat every 2.5 – 3 hours, count from the start of one meal to the start of the next
- Give a cup at each meal, and place either breast milk or cow’s milk in the cup. I prefer a straw cup (see how to teach your baby to drink from a straw). From an OT and mom friendly perspective, I love these cups in particular: Playtex Sipsters, Munchkin Flex Straw, and Advent Straw Cup
- The first time you give cow’s milk, mix it with a 25-50% blend of breast milk. This will help them adjust digestively and to the taste. After a day or two of successful consumption, you can continue to add less and less breast milk until it is straight cow’s milk or toddler formula, if you choose.
- Prior to weaning, give your baby water at each meal, which will help them get used to having a drink. Have water available throughout the day in a cup that they have access to once you start serving milk with their meals. Some babies will want to have both at a meal, which is fine for a short transition period.
If you are looking for more specifics on feeding schedules, click on the ages you need: 6-7 months, 8-10 months, and 11 months plus for samples. These, too, are just a guideline, but should give you some direction. Adapt them as needed.
Troubleshooting Common Breast Weaning Roadblocks
Although stopping breastfeeding can be as easy as I just made it sound, sometime parents hit some roadblocks. I’m going to run through some common ones to help you troubleshoot.
With all of the suggestions below, know that it’s important to stay consistent and keep trying. All of my boys ended up loving cow’s milk, but it took a month or so before they were drinking it really well, usually by the time they were completely weaned from the breast.
Keep in mind that once a baby turns 1, they only require 16 ounces of a milk source.Read more here about how much milk your baby should drink.
- What if baby refuses a cup of any type:
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- Try and try again – every day, at every meal, put the milk in the cup and don’t pressure them. Offer it and even demonstrate, but don’t force. You can experiment with serving cold and warm if you like. If your toddler spits it out, that’s okay, it’s all part of the process.
- Try pumped milk – if you are willing and able, pump and offer that milk in the cup. It will seem foreign and some will likely be wasted, but some babies do better with the familiar taste.
- Focus on 2-3 different types of cups – cycle through a few different kinds of cups, maybe some with bright colors or a silly character on it.
- Water in a cup during the day – always have the water in a cup throughout the day. Give it to them in the car, in the bath, outside, wherever.
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- How to stop nursing to sleep:
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- Change up the routine (as described in the previous section)
- Transitional object – if your child doesn’t already have a special object like a stuffed animal or blanket, start encouraging one. Give it to them every time you are nursing, put it in their arms when you lie them down. Every time.
- Well-fed – I don’t want you to overly worry about this, so many parents do naturally, but it will give you peace of mind in knowing that their tummy is full. Serve a later dinner that is a favorite or a bedtime snack, where you can give milk in a cup. Knowing their well-fed will help you feel better if they protest a little and they will be less likely to request nursing.
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- Baby won’t stop nursing and crying:
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- Distract – while I urge you to not push your baby too fast, some will protest a little. This is when you’ll want to change gears and do something really exciting. I remember with my oldest, I always used to feed him on the couch in the middle of the day and I’d rearrange the pillows to support my arm. In the process of weaning, I started to do that just to straighten up and he saw me and thought it was time to nurse. He didn’t cry, but I quickly grabbed him and stood up, saying, “Oh my goodness, did you just hear that car go by?” We went over to the window to have a look and he forgot about it in a second.
- Offer another drink – without making to big of a deal about it, provide a drink instead, “Oh, here’s your water.” Notice, I didn’t ask, I just made a statement.
- Cuddles – give lots of these at other times, so they feel that connection with you still.
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Tips for success
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- Don’t feel rushed, watch for your child’s acceptance and adjustment.
- You may be emotional, this is normal. Make sure you are feeling comfortable with your decision.
- Don’t listen to other people’s opinions.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments, I’ll be happy to answer. And if you’ve been through this before, share your tips, it will be helpful to everyone that stops here.
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Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid’s Table. She has over 19 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here.
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Hi Alisha, this is the best information that I have ever read on weaning!! Ive done so much research and always ended up finding info on extreme opposite sides of the spectrum. My son was late on being able to digest certain foods well, like grains, and at almost 20 months of age still has multiple food sensitivities, so he nurses a lot. But now he’s developed some of those picky eating habits you mentioned on top of continuing to nurse frequently during the day and also still waking a few times at night to nurse. Exhausting for me and I know it’s past time for me to do something about it. So much detailed info that I’ll probably re-read this article many times– you are a Godsend, thank you for providing such great advice at no cost!
Oh my gosh Cathy, you’re so sweet! It brightens my day reading comments like that. Thank you and wishing you the best – you’ll get over this soon!
This has been the most helpful post I have been able to come across on weaning from breastfeeding as well as your post on whole milk!
I’m currently struggling with my 15 month old. I’m pregnant and so exhausted with breastfeeding that I’ve decided to start weaning. Our biggest problem right now is he still wakes up during the night to nurse about 2 times.. some times it’s non stop. As well as with the habit of nursing to sleep. I try to rock him to sleep also but sometimes it’s nonstop crying/wide awake until I give in. He eats very well and has started drinking whole milk but still wants to nurse too. It’s like he’s never full! Lol anyways, any advice?
13 month old***
Hmmm, it may be more of a comfort at this point. I’d start with focusing on just one time to cut out- maybe the middle of the night. Can someone else besides you go into the room? Can you have a sippy cup of water available? I’d start by trying there. Try to just focus on small step at a time:)
Hey.. You mentioned every detail so precisely.. my baby boy is 13 months n I m really worried abt he to stop him from breastfeeding.. he is just addicted to it.. he is not having solid foods properly n always eager to breastfeed.. yr article gv many suggestions which I m excited to apply with him , hoping it really do work.. thank you so very much fr sharing ur experience.. ?
You’re so welcome! Good luck, I’d also check out yourkidstable.com/feeding-therapy if you’re still having trouble:)
Hi there, im pretty sure I have read most of your threads. Im having alot of trouble and wanted to see if you have anything that might help. My daughter is 8 months old, she will NOT take a bottle, soother, NOTHING! Im tired of Breastfeeding. Its also an all night thing. If it falls out of her mouth, she freaks out and wakes up. I’ve tried every kind of cup, nipple, quiet place, scent, EVERYTHING. Its just not happening. Water, Formula, BMilk from a bottle, Syringe, Spoon, Open cup, NOPE! If its not coming from the boob shes not having it. PLEASE HELP! I dont know what to do.
Sorry Lilah for the delay! It’s so tricky! Some babies never do take the bottle, I had one that did that. Have you talked to your pediatrician, my best tips are in the post:)
Hello 🙂 First of all I would like to thank you for the reassuring posts and all the small tips. My daughter (my first little angel) is now 13 months old, she was amazing with baby food starting from 6 months (she was having 3 meals, and breastfed mornings and nights). She loved eating food and ate all different types without any problems. At 11 months I started introducing solid table food. It started well but suddenly she refuses eating and became very picky, therefore she is increasing breastfeeding sessions which will make it even more challenging to wean her. Even sleeping patterns became worse. I couldn’t understand the sudden change of behavior but I came across the idea that it might be a regression phase because she is developing a lot of new skills like walking, talking and also linked it with teething, but it has been more than a month unfortunately :(. Now I feel stuck and very frustrated, I prepare 3 types of food each meal and I m confused on how to start tackling this problem as I also have a big problem with night feedings (she wakes up 2-4 times per night and has to be breastfed to sleep). I ended with problems in feeding, sleeping and weaning :$ all at once. I don’t know how to start at this point, should I start by weaning (my weak point unfortunately)? Do I have to in order to make meal time a better experience? I was planning to wait till 18 months but after reading your post I’m thinking of starting sooner. I m very overwhelmed and feel I m doing a lot of things the wrong way so I hope I can somehow reverse this soon as it is getting to me and affecting my patience especially with food although I used to be very open to experiment and cook new things. Any tips, links, methods to check would be endlessly helpful! Thank you in advance 🙂
Sorry just realized it’s a very long comment :(… First timer; I deeply apologise for this 🙁
Oh sure, no problem! I’d definitely look at transitioning to table foods and the 11-14 month old schedule, I think both of these will be very helpful. Take a look and let me know if you have any other questions! I know this can be really overwhelming, but take it one step at a time!
Very helpful, thank you! Any tips on how to have them drink cold milk? I am currently doing half breastmilk/half whole milk but if given cold he spits it out. . He drinks it fine when warmed though. Honestly I think he would be fine with 100% whole milk if warmed but would prefer to not have to warm it forever:)
I have a lot of breast milk leftover in my freezer that I do not want to waste. The shelf life in the freezer for breast milk is 5 months. What do you suggest doing – should I use up all of the breast milk and once it is gone then introduce my son to cows milk (combining cows milk and breast milk)? Or should I give him both breast milk and cows milk until I use my frozen supply? For context: my son will be 1 later this month. Thank you in advance!
I would continue to use the breast milk- that’s great and ideal actually! The last 2-4 weeks start to mix with cows milk!
How much cow milk and breastmilk?
These are great tips!!
I am trying to wean my 15 month old but due to a slow start with solids (a long list of food intolerances that she’s now outgrown) she’s unfortunately become a picky eater (we’ve been living by your picky eating tips to help manage meals!)
We are so worried about the lack of food she’s actually eating, which makes me worried about weaning… where will she get her nutrients if not from my milk?! Any tips would be great!!! Thanks 🙂
I’m so glad you’re finding help here! You definitely don’t have to wean, but make sure you’re combining her milk feedings with her meals or before bedtimes or she won’t be hungry enough to eat at meals. Also, if she drinks a lot of milk she might not get hungry enough. Have you seen my posts on transitioning to table foods, even though she’s a little older I think they’ll be really helpful!
This is one of the more helpful posts I’ve found related to weaning. Thank you! I’m about to start the process with my 11 month old – currently weaning from the pump at work – but for us I expect the tough one to drop will be the morning feed, right after she wakes up. I love the calm sleepy cuddles and she’s quite hungry so nurses for a while. Any tips? She’s good with solids, mostly table foods at this point, and uses both a bottle and a straw cup no problem.
Leave it as the last one and if you want you can take your time and let her have that last feeding until she’s 13-14 months. If you want to be done soon, can someone else get her up? And then have breakfast ready to go! I don’t think you need to rush though, unless you want to! Sounds like she’s doing great:)
Thanks for the detailed post. I am currently weaning my soon to be 12 month old and have used this post as a reference more than once. 🙂
Aww, that’s great, thank you!
any tips for middle of the night weaning? my son still nursing 2 times during the night and I tried everything from let him cry to offer bottles… nothing seems to work. He’s 6 months old we started the weaning process 2 weeks ago, during the day is going ok but during the night I can see will be a real problem.
Thanks
This is a tricky spot to be in, I know Ana! To be honest its probably gonna take some time, and if you’re weaning you may dry up. I’d try to wait as long as you can before going in, or consider sleep training and refuse to go in (not for everyone, just offering as a possibility.) I’d focus on one time during the night at first and trying to get him to that point. Also, if Dad or someone else can go in, that would probably help, too.
Hi there, thank you so much for a great read! I just want to ask for some clarity, you said that you recommend stopping breastfeeding and only giving food after the age of one. Not substitute the breast milk with anything else. But a little later in the article you say to give cows or toddler milk as a nursing replacement. Is that just for the transition period to make it easier on them? Do babies over the age of 1 nutritionally need milk or not? I would like to wean my one year old from the breast now but I don’t really want to give him bottles or cups of cows or formula milk. If he is able to get his nutrients from his food that would be best. I do give him a bit of cows milk over his oats in the morning etc but outsourcing my responsibility of feeding my baby to another animal seems a bit weird. If he still needs the milk I would rather keep breastfeeding a bit longer. But I do think we are at a place now where he is adaptable and will wean easily, I’m hoping I don’t have to breastfeed past the 15 month attachment phase!
Thank you so much I look forward to your reply.
Hey Merelda,
Thanks for reaching out. Typically after weaning families do replace with some other “milk” for nutritional value, and it is recommended for Toddlers. And something I would talk to your pediatrician about. Most people do cow’s milk, but you can discuss alternatives with your pediatrician. We do have an article all about milk and what is recommended by age. You can check out the article HERE
Best,
Desiree
i think its time for me to start weaning. any tips if she wont sleep until she nurses?
I am interested in sleeping and nursing question too.
For my little one it just calms him down so well. We nurse in his quite room before sleep time. He has blanket and toy that help him fall asleep in his crib but he plays alot before falling asleep.
Just replied to Ami, let me know if you have more question Cherise!
I’ve been there! So, first, make sure that those are the last feedings that you get rid of. Next, pick the feeding that you suspect will be the least challenging to get rid of, usually this is before nap instead of night time. Then, like I said in the post, you’ll want to focus on a routine (book, rocking in chair, etc.) and offer nursing as the last option. Once the routine is solidified then you can start to try to just put them to bed- even if they’ve done that before. You may have to do some rocking or patting of their butt if they’ve never fallen asleep on their own and slowly pull back from that. Does that make sense? Also, if you have the option, have somebody else (that can nurse them) put them to bed- sometimes this is all you need to do. I know it can be scary to think about them falling asleep on their if they’ve never done it, but it is possible!
How do you maintain your milk supply when you get down to just 1 feeing per day? Are you pumping?
I think it depends Sandra, pumping would definitely help if your supply is low. Usually though your body just adapts, it produces what it needs and as you wean it will keep producing what the baby is taking, even if that’s just feeding a day.
Awesome article. I was nodding my head the whole time 🙂 You described my experience perfectly! My three kids weaned at 14, 13, and 16 months, and that bedtime wean was the one just for me.
Thanks Jenny! I’m sure our similar backgrounds played a role in how we weaned! 🙂
Again, great tip! I really love how insightful and helpful the information I found in every article of your blog. Even though, my daughter stopped breastfeeding couple months ago. I wish I could find this article much earlier.
Thank you so much Catherine! I’m so glad you found value in it, especially since you just went through this yourself.
Thank you for the information, very helpful!
My little boy is 16 months old and hooked on boob! Hes also a headbanger and throws his face into the floor when he doesn’t get it.. Distraction only works to a point, usually he will ignore me and continue to try to hit his head either in my arms or anywehre.. any advice? It’s so upsetting and exhausting, especially now that i am pregnant with my second!
Thank you
Hey,
We totally understand how upsetting this can be! I’d really walk through the steps in the article. A lot of times having someone else do the feeding can be really helpful, if possible!
Best,
Desiree